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August 6, 2008 at 12:00 AM
yeah, well-written with the right amount of sap and desperation mixed in!! Keep writting these wonderful smut stories!!!!
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May 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Great story, this is my favorite Bleach pair
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November 27, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Damn that was good! I was actuallly hoping that Ishida would ride him. Something about that it's just so hot. Anyways, great fic I really loved it! Those two together is just a great picture. Hope you write some more. See ya!! ^-^
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August 14, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I found this story quite cute, as well as a nice light-hearted slash fic. ^_^
However, there was a couple of tiny things that I saw that kind of jarred me. If you don't mind some concrit, that is.
- overwhelming is one word. (The urge to yank the other teen closer and play hockey with his tonsils was almost //over whelming.//)
- Break, not Brake in this sentence (Their kiss broke again and Ishida took the //brake// to yank the red head’s shirt off over his head.)
- "KUSO" seemed jarring, as before the two of them used English cusses, and then suddenly seeing a (romanized) Japanese cuss is a little jarring. I would suggest to use the English equivalent, to keep with the consistency of the story. (“//KUSO!//” Ichigo cursed...)
-Also, this is a little thing I found a little unbelievable. The two of them being so great at sex, at 15, especially Ichigo. Although, if it's sex before believability, I don't mind.
Some of these things could be easily fixed with a little proofreading, and will only make it better.
However, there was a couple of tiny things that I saw that kind of jarred me. If you don't mind some concrit, that is.
- overwhelming is one word. (The urge to yank the other teen closer and play hockey with his tonsils was almost //over whelming.//)
- Break, not Brake in this sentence (Their kiss broke again and Ishida took the //brake// to yank the red head’s shirt off over his head.)
- "KUSO" seemed jarring, as before the two of them used English cusses, and then suddenly seeing a (romanized) Japanese cuss is a little jarring. I would suggest to use the English equivalent, to keep with the consistency of the story. (“//KUSO!//” Ichigo cursed...)
-Also, this is a little thing I found a little unbelievable. The two of them being so great at sex, at 15, especially Ichigo. Although, if it's sex before believability, I don't mind.
Some of these things could be easily fixed with a little proofreading, and will only make it better.
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August 10, 2006 at 12:00 AM
AHEM. -plugs nose with smalls wads of tissue- That was hot. ^_^
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August 10, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Man! this was so cute! I was wanting more! i hope there is a sequel or something...i wish there was more stories with this coupling..but yeah! i loved this story! it was very cute! so cuteeee!!! ^_^
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August 8, 2006 at 12:00 AM
^^ That was cute! ANd I love the tight ass comment! XD Thank you!
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August 5, 2006 at 12:00 AM
*nuzzles her hiba-chan* You did an amazing job sweetheart.. maybe I will make you read that out loud during our alone time. *blink*
Thank you for adding yet another ichiuryu fanfic to the net.. I know that many people will get wet spots and cheap thrills from reading the amazing stories you write.. especially this one. ^_^
Thank you for adding yet another ichiuryu fanfic to the net.. I know that many people will get wet spots and cheap thrills from reading the amazing stories you write.. especially this one. ^_^
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August 1, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Man...leaf...that was awesome!
I've been waiting for someone to write some more Ichi/Ishi fictions for a long while now and... *bows* thank you so much for making an effort! I really liked this one! *hugs* Great wording and you did well with making the situation real...
*claps*
Well done *hands cookie* A+++++
Hellagoddess
I've been waiting for someone to write some more Ichi/Ishi fictions for a long while now and... *bows* thank you so much for making an effort! I really liked this one! *hugs* Great wording and you did well with making the situation real...
*claps*
Well done *hands cookie* A+++++
Hellagoddess