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by Jdehasqu

person Kinetic
schedule October 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
"“Kiss me!” she blurted out

Eh? He just figured he was dreaming again. God damn hormones!"

That was my favorite part! I actually started to laugh!
I guess the only problem I had with the story was that one cursing used above, but that's because I'm religious. ^-^ (Believe it or not!)
Anyhoo, you're doing a great job! I hope that you keep it up! ^_^d
person Anon
schedule July 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
ehh...you pepper your story with -san too much. I don't think schoolmates would refer to eachother as Inou-san or Ishida-san or what not. try working on it a bit more...
schedule September 22, 2006 at 12:00 AM
This was a nice story... I'm a yaoi-only kind of person myself, but Ishi/Hime is a het pairing that I can cope with ^^

You have a nice style - good spacing, good spelling, but I suggest you go over it one more time, and perhaps put Ishida a bit more IC (I see him as a bit angsty, and it does still work for this particular pairing) along with changing a few grammar errors and such.

Otherwise, very nice ^^
person ahanchan
schedule September 22, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Cool story!!! You should do another chapter!
person pastel
schedule September 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
It was a very sweet story. I love it.