AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Tribal God And White Strawberry

by Ogichi

schedule August 9, 2007 at 12:00 AM
you should accept Callie Avalon help ^w^;;; the idea is SOOOO GOOOOD! @.@ omg it made my undies dirty ._. and with some help you can make it SOOO MUCH BETTER! so that more than just my undies get dirty ^w^

you left out some words, i think in some cases tried to fit to many words into a sentence, and then in a lot of other cases the tense was wrong... or no it's not tense i'm thinking of >.> ... well it is but there's also.... like you used were a lot when you might've used is.....

OMG i can't wait till you revise it @w@ ~squeals~ it's gonna be so flippin' good ^w^ oh jeez ~foams at the mouth~

ok bedtime for me before i start to ramble........ too late :sweat: ^W^ good job! good luck!
schedule August 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
hmm... i wonder what ichigo thinks about this... lol
schedule June 9, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hey there! Your story was great! I noticed you had alot of grammatical errors. If you wish, I could help you out with that. I'm not saying your writing is bad, but grammar goes a long way toward a great story. I hope I can be of some help to you. =)
person Pee-reviver
schedule January 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
well, that was new O.o
But I liked it! ^^