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September 16, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Finally got round to reading and giving you my opinion on this, and I don’t know what you are worrying about! This is a fantastic piece of writing, in my opinion, and I was leaning forward in my seat the whole time. Ooh, now where to begin?
Your imagery throughout the chapter was brilliant. It had me really feeling the tension and desperation in the situation. I really liked your characterisation of them both in this chapter, but particularly Byakuya. I hardly knew what to expect of him now that he is acting so differently from his usual calm self, but I think you got it all down perfectly.
I really loved how he, after leaving the 4th squad in that state, shut himself in a private room, behind walls and closed doors because his own internal barriers were so exhausted. It seemed like such a Byakuya thing to do; to find some sort of defence somewhere until he can regain his own, and until he can at least recover some of the level-headedness he and others would expect of him. I liked his realisation also, that his hard-earned self-discipline wouldn’t help him where his body protested so much from all the stress, but of course he fights to keep it all together anyway.
You’ve displayed just how distraught he is now so well! I really liked how much he noticed here the resemblance between Rukia and his late wife, just to show how much things are getting to him, and obviously adding yet more to his jumble of emotion.
In the paragraph that I think started with ‘This was alien, unreal, scary. This was Kuchiki Byakuya…’, my feelings about Byakuya were pretty much exactly described through Rukia’s. It’s so strange to see him behaving like this, in a way that I never would have expected of him, thinking about things I never would have expected of him, and coming to conclusion I never would have expected he’d come to. Even though I’ve read through the whole story and seen the development of all the characters, it’s still a very pleasant shock to see just how much things are getting to him, and how much he’s having no choice now but to let them. I love how far he’s come now.
With Rukia, I’m liking very much how she’s learning of the situation, both the ups and downs. I was so pleased that Renji gave in and told her about it all in the last chapter, and although Byakuya didn’t say much to her at all – nothing at all really about the actual problem, or what’s going on – through the way she managed to read and speculate on his feelings, he gave her much more than I would have hoped for. I’m glad she’s a little less in the dark about everything now, and maybe she can, like you said in the previous chapter, knock some sense into them, in one way or another. It seems like her message is getting through to Byakuya now.
Hmm, I’m going to stop typing now, before I start repeating myself, but I don’t think you have anything at all to worry about with your story. I just can’t wait to see what happens next!
Your imagery throughout the chapter was brilliant. It had me really feeling the tension and desperation in the situation. I really liked your characterisation of them both in this chapter, but particularly Byakuya. I hardly knew what to expect of him now that he is acting so differently from his usual calm self, but I think you got it all down perfectly.
I really loved how he, after leaving the 4th squad in that state, shut himself in a private room, behind walls and closed doors because his own internal barriers were so exhausted. It seemed like such a Byakuya thing to do; to find some sort of defence somewhere until he can regain his own, and until he can at least recover some of the level-headedness he and others would expect of him. I liked his realisation also, that his hard-earned self-discipline wouldn’t help him where his body protested so much from all the stress, but of course he fights to keep it all together anyway.
You’ve displayed just how distraught he is now so well! I really liked how much he noticed here the resemblance between Rukia and his late wife, just to show how much things are getting to him, and obviously adding yet more to his jumble of emotion.
In the paragraph that I think started with ‘This was alien, unreal, scary. This was Kuchiki Byakuya…’, my feelings about Byakuya were pretty much exactly described through Rukia’s. It’s so strange to see him behaving like this, in a way that I never would have expected of him, thinking about things I never would have expected of him, and coming to conclusion I never would have expected he’d come to. Even though I’ve read through the whole story and seen the development of all the characters, it’s still a very pleasant shock to see just how much things are getting to him, and how much he’s having no choice now but to let them. I love how far he’s come now.
With Rukia, I’m liking very much how she’s learning of the situation, both the ups and downs. I was so pleased that Renji gave in and told her about it all in the last chapter, and although Byakuya didn’t say much to her at all – nothing at all really about the actual problem, or what’s going on – through the way she managed to read and speculate on his feelings, he gave her much more than I would have hoped for. I’m glad she’s a little less in the dark about everything now, and maybe she can, like you said in the previous chapter, knock some sense into them, in one way or another. It seems like her message is getting through to Byakuya now.
Hmm, I’m going to stop typing now, before I start repeating myself, but I don’t think you have anything at all to worry about with your story. I just can’t wait to see what happens next!
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September 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Ah, what is with my scatterbrain lately? I have a long list of things I want to read, write, do... and I'm just not getting around to them all fast enough. Seems there are too many and not enough hours in the day, if that makes any sense at all.
On to what I wanted to say: I love this chapter! I read it last week, but then had to do something else and didn't review until now, but I really loved it. I was so worried about both of them. Renji, well, it's obvious why I was worried about him. And Byakuya because... oh, he's so silly sometimes; the way he tears himself apart all alone all the time. He makes things so difficult for himself and I adore him for it. I think you did a great job of capturing all of this about his character. I mean, of all the fanfics I have read (that is a large, large amount *blushes*) your characterisation of Byakuya is very much my favourite. I just think that you get him so perfectly, even in situations that are so different from what we've seen in the manga. I really must compliment you one that.
I was so relieved at the end of the chapter though, that at least to some extent, they are both okay. I'm really curious as to how Byakuya is going to behave now. He's worn himself out enough that he couldn't help but outwardly display his relief at Renji being alive, so I'm interested to see just how he feels about that slip in his facade, and how he deals with it. Definately must read the next chapter as soon as I finish my dinner lol ^_^
On to what I wanted to say: I love this chapter! I read it last week, but then had to do something else and didn't review until now, but I really loved it. I was so worried about both of them. Renji, well, it's obvious why I was worried about him. And Byakuya because... oh, he's so silly sometimes; the way he tears himself apart all alone all the time. He makes things so difficult for himself and I adore him for it. I think you did a great job of capturing all of this about his character. I mean, of all the fanfics I have read (that is a large, large amount *blushes*) your characterisation of Byakuya is very much my favourite. I just think that you get him so perfectly, even in situations that are so different from what we've seen in the manga. I really must compliment you one that.
I was so relieved at the end of the chapter though, that at least to some extent, they are both okay. I'm really curious as to how Byakuya is going to behave now. He's worn himself out enough that he couldn't help but outwardly display his relief at Renji being alive, so I'm interested to see just how he feels about that slip in his facade, and how he deals with it. Definately must read the next chapter as soon as I finish my dinner lol ^_^
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September 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Ooh, wow! What can I say? I wish I had gotten round to reading this sooner, because it was fantastic. I'm really loving the progression of the story and characters right now. I felt such empathy for Ukitake, being to sort who likes to help people, and doesn't like to leave them troubled, but having to realise that there isn't really much he can do in the situation. It's a funny sort of feeling, and I think you got that across well. I also must say that I really adore your portrayal of Unohana. I don't have much interest in her in the actual manga, maybe because she doesn't seem to get enough time to do anything (maybe that will change after the upcoming stuff, I don't know), but I really like what you did with what little we've seen of her. She's that kind, motherly type that you really know you should watch out for, and the way Ukitake knew that about her so well made me giggle.
Ah, more empathy I felt, this time with Rukia. I hated seeing Renji so downtrodded and defeated, when he's usually the one to fight hard and shout about his impending victory, even when the odds are stacked right against him. I'm so glad that now everything is out in the open between he and Rukia. It's not good for him just keeping it all bottled up, and since she is the woman with a connection to both Renji and Byakuya, it seems that she might be the one who could actually help out, even if some of the things she has been told weren't exactly what she expected or wanted to hear about her brother. Am I right?
I was worried that when they began arguing (if that's the right word) with eachother, Renji would push Rukia away, so I am so grateful for her determination and care for him, and I'm glad that he managed to clear his head a little by talking to her. What would he do without a friend like her, eh? Silly redhead. ^_^
So now I'm all very curious as to how Byakuya is feeling now, and what will come of Rukia's talk with him. I shall be reading the next chapter in the morning (I can't wait!) and then I shall get on with finishing and sending to you the RP post that I have had half-done for far too long.
Bye for now.
X
Ah, more empathy I felt, this time with Rukia. I hated seeing Renji so downtrodded and defeated, when he's usually the one to fight hard and shout about his impending victory, even when the odds are stacked right against him. I'm so glad that now everything is out in the open between he and Rukia. It's not good for him just keeping it all bottled up, and since she is the woman with a connection to both Renji and Byakuya, it seems that she might be the one who could actually help out, even if some of the things she has been told weren't exactly what she expected or wanted to hear about her brother. Am I right?
I was worried that when they began arguing (if that's the right word) with eachother, Renji would push Rukia away, so I am so grateful for her determination and care for him, and I'm glad that he managed to clear his head a little by talking to her. What would he do without a friend like her, eh? Silly redhead. ^_^
So now I'm all very curious as to how Byakuya is feeling now, and what will come of Rukia's talk with him. I shall be reading the next chapter in the morning (I can't wait!) and then I shall get on with finishing and sending to you the RP post that I have had half-done for far too long.
Bye for now.
X
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August 2, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Cant wait for more! =D
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July 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Yea, an update! I'm glad your back and I look forward to the next chapter :)
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July 2, 2008 at 12:00 AM
yellow person i do not know,
ur story is the best ive ever read for a fanfiction on this site... congrads u r my top story...
just to boost ur ego some more... i really think u r more than enough talented to write ur own book n get it published tho there rnt many yaoi books i hoppe you'll create one
:D
ur story is the best ive ever read for a fanfiction on this site... congrads u r my top story...
just to boost ur ego some more... i really think u r more than enough talented to write ur own book n get it published tho there rnt many yaoi books i hoppe you'll create one
:D
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June 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This story is amazing. I keep looking for an update. You write really well. I love the pairing of Renji and Byakuya. Now I'm sitting on the edge of my seat again wondering what you've got coming next!
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June 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Wow! Man, I hope Byakuya realizes now what he has. Awesome ending to this particular chapter. I look forward to the next.
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May 28, 2008 at 12:00 AM
FUCK!!!! This story is getting so good. I started reading this last night and couldn't wait to get home to finish it. It's that fuckin good. **pats you on the back** I anxiously await the next update :)
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May 25, 2008 at 12:00 AM
GAH!! *pulls hair in frustration* You just had to stop there didn't you! Evil is what you are, Evil! *gives up on hair and starts biting nails* Hurry back, I can't wait to find out what happened.
P.S. Great story!!
P.S. Great story!!