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February 12, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Again another great chapter, thank-you for posting and Zaraki is going to have a fit..
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February 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Please post more! This is a wonderful story!
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February 3, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Wow. Hot.
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February 3, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Warm and fuzzy feelings...make Gin and Aizen hurt bad for that they did to Ran. Not like you need me to suggest that though. Great chapter, although the end was making me want more. *hug*
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January 31, 2008 at 12:00 AM
My goodness! What a deliciously smut-filled update!
^_^
It was totally worth the wait!
^_^
It was totally worth the wait!
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January 30, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Amazing as always! I like all the twists. The virginity was an interesting twist, but it's very plausible. XD
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January 27, 2008 at 12:00 AM
kyaah!one of teh nicest kenpachi and matsumoto fics i've ever read!consider me a fan!XD
And oh do continue!^_^
And oh do continue!^_^
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January 23, 2008 at 12:00 AM
YAY! A new chapter! It's awesome. I don't care that there was no smut. Plot is always good. ^_^ Keep it up!
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January 20, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I love you. Come live with me and we can write stories and drink sake together. :) I teared up when they were abusing her, but I was strong and didn't cry. Welcome back.
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January 20, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I just started reading this, and I'm through to the fourth chapter so obviously you've gotten me interested in finding out more. So far, your writing is very good. A few tiny slip-ups in spelling, but they were so small I can't even remember where they were, and clearly they didn't disrupt me from reading.
Kenpachi is one of my loves from Bleach. I adore him and his character, but it's been a real pain finding any fics that do you justice. Congradulations, you've just become my hero. The way you portray him is flawless, exactly as he SHOULD be from the manga or anime. Most fanfics I've read involving him focus entirely too much on how bad ass he is. He DOES have a tiny bit of softer side, too. Why else pick up Yachiru? Anyway, I'm just glad you've done a brilliant job mixing the hard core with the more human elements to his character.
The only, ONLY concrit I'm gonna make is Rangiku Matsumoto. The first chapter especially felt very OOC for her. Yes, Rangiku can follow orders, but she's a bit more of a spitfire than how you portrayed her. I agree with the other reviewer that it felt more like an OC borrowing her name than it actually did her. Plus, I know Kenpachi is insanely strong and all that, but Rangiku IS a lieutenant and therefore probably WOULD put up just a bit more of a fight. As it is now, it feels like she just stood there while he ripped her clothing off and did her. It was a little too "romance novel" for Rangiku's character. If anything, she would have probably tried the respectful approach you set up with her, but she DOES have some massive stones and she would either a) fight until she knew she'd lost or b) try to blow his circuits first. I think the reason Rangiku felt OOC was that you perhaps rushed to get to the sexy bits. You wrote something like, "I struggled while he ripped by clothing off,". Not a bad sentence, but it describes what HE did more than HER. This gives the impression that she might have grabbed his wrists or something but nothing too major. Adding in a few details for HER POV would make her seem more IC for the first chapter. "I struggled while he took a grip on my top, leaving reddened streaks across his face, arms and chest in an attempt to get him away. Punching him was flat out; he had too much muscle for that and it would ultimately hurt ME to do it. He took all the abuse I threw at him with a grin before, with a quick, hard jerk, he ripped my clothing clean off."
*grins sheepishly* Sorry. I didn't mean to hijack your fic for a second, but I just wanted to try and demonstrate what I meant when I said more fighting details from her POV would make her feel more IC. I'll be honest in saying that I almost didn't read on from the first chapter because I was dreading that Rangiku was going to be drastically OOC. However, I don't think it's fair at ALL to judge a multichapter fic by the first chapter alone, so I continued on. It was definitely worth it to read a really GOOD Kenpachi portrayal, so thank you very much for that!
Kenpachi is one of my loves from Bleach. I adore him and his character, but it's been a real pain finding any fics that do you justice. Congradulations, you've just become my hero. The way you portray him is flawless, exactly as he SHOULD be from the manga or anime. Most fanfics I've read involving him focus entirely too much on how bad ass he is. He DOES have a tiny bit of softer side, too. Why else pick up Yachiru? Anyway, I'm just glad you've done a brilliant job mixing the hard core with the more human elements to his character.
The only, ONLY concrit I'm gonna make is Rangiku Matsumoto. The first chapter especially felt very OOC for her. Yes, Rangiku can follow orders, but she's a bit more of a spitfire than how you portrayed her. I agree with the other reviewer that it felt more like an OC borrowing her name than it actually did her. Plus, I know Kenpachi is insanely strong and all that, but Rangiku IS a lieutenant and therefore probably WOULD put up just a bit more of a fight. As it is now, it feels like she just stood there while he ripped her clothing off and did her. It was a little too "romance novel" for Rangiku's character. If anything, she would have probably tried the respectful approach you set up with her, but she DOES have some massive stones and she would either a) fight until she knew she'd lost or b) try to blow his circuits first. I think the reason Rangiku felt OOC was that you perhaps rushed to get to the sexy bits. You wrote something like, "I struggled while he ripped by clothing off,". Not a bad sentence, but it describes what HE did more than HER. This gives the impression that she might have grabbed his wrists or something but nothing too major. Adding in a few details for HER POV would make her seem more IC for the first chapter. "I struggled while he took a grip on my top, leaving reddened streaks across his face, arms and chest in an attempt to get him away. Punching him was flat out; he had too much muscle for that and it would ultimately hurt ME to do it. He took all the abuse I threw at him with a grin before, with a quick, hard jerk, he ripped my clothing clean off."
*grins sheepishly* Sorry. I didn't mean to hijack your fic for a second, but I just wanted to try and demonstrate what I meant when I said more fighting details from her POV would make her feel more IC. I'll be honest in saying that I almost didn't read on from the first chapter because I was dreading that Rangiku was going to be drastically OOC. However, I don't think it's fair at ALL to judge a multichapter fic by the first chapter alone, so I continued on. It was definitely worth it to read a really GOOD Kenpachi portrayal, so thank you very much for that!