rate_review Reviews

OK, after having seen this chapter updated on ff dot net as well, and seeing your A/N on that site, I believe that this chapter was intended to be the full chapter as-is. (It was hard to judge without an author's note, since normally your chapters are so much longer, and also taken discretely (i.e. with no further reflections/interaction between the characters) the writing style and impact of this chapter is so very much different than your usual updates.) I'm still left with the impression that this chapter is essentially a teaser, though. Although clearly you're attempting to give us a glimpse into the internal struggle (awakening) that Ulquiorra is experiencing as a result of his interactions with (and reactions to) Orihime, the feel of this chapter is frankly so drastically different than all other chapters that the reader (at least, speaking for myself) is left with the sense that something is missing.

If I may speculate for a moment, I think perhaps you may be attempting to use this drastic change in approach to drive home the difference in mental processing between Orihime (who has essentially served as the narrator thus far, and as such we readers have become accustomed to thinking of the world from her complex (and fully [over]-analyzed perspective)) versus Ulquiorra (who, if the current chapter is to be taken as representative of his though processes in general, is a much more simplistic thinker). If this is indeed what you are trying to convey, I can understand some of the choices you've made here (for example, the use of the short, basic images (color, heat, etc.) resonates with the idea that the hollows exist as similar to our baser natures, and are more animalistic). However, given (what I see as) Ulqiuorra's demonstrated complexity of thought in the canon (manga and anime) - for example, his ability to see the worth in Orihime's powers, and his apparent role in masterminding Orihime's capture and manipulation (and even if he's just following Aizen's master plan, his ability to conceptualize the intricacies of such manipulation) - these very basic images and physical sensations, as expressed in this chapter, simply do not seem to fully capture Ulquiorra's complexities (IMHO).

Alternatively, if your intended goal was not to emphasize the difference in Orihime's and Ulquiorra's natures/thought processes as a general matter, but rather to demonstrate the extreme angst that contact with Orihime has caused Ulquiorra to experience, then I think it would be beneficial (both for the sake of internal consistency of your writing style within the story, as well as a bit of clarity for the reader) to provide some sort of external reflection on the internal struggle we are exposed to in this chapter. For example, a vignette of Ulquiorra interacting with Aizen, Grimmjow, or any other being in Hueco Mundo (interaction with Orihime at this point probably wouldn't serve your purposes) or even depicting Ulquiorra alone and performing some routine task, would likely help to place his internal struggles firmly within the context of the story.

As always, this is clearly just my opinion of what might be improved, and I still will enjoy and appreciate the story regardless. Thanks for sharing this delightful story with us all. And apologies for this LOOOONG review :)

Extremely well written! One of the best I've come across in this fandom. I really love the character intereaction. You've done a really good job on keeping true to the characters' personalities rather than rushing ahead for the purely "romantic" bit. I'm curious now to see what happens next. Keep up the excellent work!

Okay...I'm offically confused by chapter 8. Please, could someone explain?

I love this story. I think the best thing about ch. 7 is that, like Orihime, the reader builds up an expectation/anticipation for what will happen when Ulquiorra returns because we didn't see him for two whole chapters. So when he DOES reappear--and he has totally slammed his walls back down, and is again untouchable and aloof--the reader feels just as disoriented and disappointed as she does. But the more one thinks on it, one realizes that that's totally in character for Ulquiorra, and we have to come to Orihime's conclusion--why SHOULD we have expect anything else? I'd like to congratulate you, because while I like reading about Orihime, I almost never relate to her--in cannon or in fanfic--but you've managed to really get me in sync with her, and I applaud you.

And on another note, I like the fact that her experience with his hollow hole is an unpleasant one. I've never seen that particular situation written as anything but gratifying, even though a hollow hole seems to be the essence of painful emptiness, not a pleasure. Well done. Can't wait for the next chapter!

Very interesting and original take on what touching a hollow hole might feel like. I've never seen it done this way before, but it works very well in this context.

Also, I'm looking forward to finding out what has caused Ulquiorra's new (or perhaps more accurately, reversion to his old) demeanor. I'm thinking either he's been confronted by Aizen in some way, so that Ulquiorra feels he needs to keep his distance, or perhaps it's not even real and instead Aizen is using illusions to cast this current version of Ulquiorra. I guess I'll just have to wait patiently until you reveal something of Ulquiorra's reasons for the change!

As an aside, I thought I should point out that there are a couple places where it looks like your beta reader made some parenthetical suggestions, but you forgot to remove the suggestions before posting.

Please, please, PLEASE update soon! I absolutely love this story and I'm online everyday checking so see if there's a new chapter. Please update again soon!!

I must say that this is the most in-character Orihime-in-Hueco-Mundo story I've ever read. I adore how you write her wandering thoughts during the periods of extreme isolation, and I feel that her reactions are very realistic for a person in general, as well as for her character specifically. Another thing that is done exceptionally well is your characterization of Ulquiorra and his interactions with Orihime. In many UlquiHime fics, authors kinda rush the moment that Ulquiorra looses his legendary cold-as-ice, hard-as-a-rock demeanor and has a meltdown. But you've got a good pace in this story of him slowly acquiring cracks in that facade that Orihime can peek in, even if she doesn't understand what she sees right away. He is a stone, and like a stone is eroded slowly, not crushed by a single strike.

I don't really have anything very constructive to say, but I'm very much enjoying this story. Please update again soon, because I simply can't wait to see what will happen when she finally meets up with Ulquiorra again. And again, great job!

I really enjoy this story and I'm glad you made it about these two. I always wondered what it would be like. I think that you capture each character's personality very well! Keep up the great work and I can't wait to read more. :D

I love this story so far. I think you're putting them together in a very believable way, and your Orihime is perfect. Well, I think you've done a good job writing them all in character. I can't wait to see what happens next. Please update soon!

Kick-ass story so far, loving how she's trying to solve boredom and grimmjow's actions. Pretty good ulquirra too, looking forward to next chapter