rate_review Reviews

I just wanted to say that I love this story! I know you haven't gotten many reviews but you do have quite a few hits when you update chapters. Thanks so much for putting out chapter 5 before the holiday, oh and thanks for not rushing the story along just to get to the lemon!!

so, first off I am enjoying your story so far. I was inspired to review this chapter (no. 5) in particular b/c I thought you channeled orihime's internal monologue quite well here (the somewhat random tangents of thought as she worked through her feelings regarding this kiss). Also, I loved the term "kiss rape." Haha, that actually made me laugh (I assume you made this term up, as I've never heard it before).

As for critique, I've noticed some minor grammar issues (not just in ch. 5), notably incorrect pluralization. (Rather than simply adding an "s" to create a plural, you create the possessive form, e.g. "one's" instead of "ones.")

Finally, I'm curious about the development of Grimmjow's feelings toward Ichigo in this chapter. Certainly the way Grimmjow acted in response to Orihime's perceived relationship with Ichigo would suggest Grimmjow was in love with Ichigo - perhaps romantically, or perhaps just as a valued rival. I hope you develop this (or at least explicate it) further in later chapters, as it creates unexpected depth in Grimmjow's character. I think it makes the overall story more interesting since you're not focusing solely on the humanization of Ulquiorra (since this is ultimately to be an UlquiHime) but also allowing glimpses into the emotional development of (at least one) other espada. [That being said, I'm not really rooting for a GrimmIchi romantic slant, since I'm really not into yaoi etc., but I think you're setting the background for a believable GrimmIchi side romance if that's the angle you choose to pursue. Of course I'm not certain what's become of Ichigo at this point - he died, true, but since he was in his shinigami form when killed, he may or may not have gone on to soul society - in which case I imagine he might pop up again at some point.]

wow! completely addicted to this story. cant wait to see where it goes from here. thank you for sharing!

Good so far! keep it up :P

I love the story so far. I can't wait until you update. I have you on my favorite authors list on ff.net so I can follow your writing. You are very talented at using similes to describe things, and I find I'm usually very impressed with what you come up with. Another accomplishment on your part is that you are able to keep Grimmjow and Ulquiorra in character. When is comes to these two and Orihime, I've found they turn into completely different characters with new attitudes. I applaud you for being able to avoid that common error. Keep on writing; I'm looking forward to the next chapter. :)

Really liked this chapter. The touches of humour were nicely set against the background of fear and uncertainty. But 'pegging'? Why?

I almost feel sorry for Inoue. And Ulquiorra. Good work.

I don't read a lot of fanfiction, but this one deals with pace and mood and suspense so well that I think I'm becoming addicted. Please don't stop.

Another interesting intense chapter. It's a wide departure from canon, which is not a bad thing at all and leads to the question about why Grimmjow wants to talk about Ichigo and what are Ulquiorra's feelings. The discussion about using her name instead of a generic title was revealing.

Next?

I'm so happy you finally updated! I think this story has real promise and I really enjoy what you've written so far. Will there be a battle between the 6th and the 4th in regards to Orihime in later chapters? I can't wait to find out!

Wow!!! This is so good so far!Please continue!