schedule
December 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Oooo the plot thickens!!
You did a great job describing the changes Soi Fon is going through. I can easily see those things happening in my mind's eye.
The banter back and forth between them in the kitchen was great as well.
I can also easily see her running away when asked on the date. I can also see typical blockhead male taking it the wrong way, though I am glad he didn't fall for this "new" (I'm thinking old though, her 'commander' reference has got my mind twirling) character and her succubus ways!
I can't wait to see what happens next!
Until then!
You did a great job describing the changes Soi Fon is going through. I can easily see those things happening in my mind's eye.
The banter back and forth between them in the kitchen was great as well.
I can also easily see her running away when asked on the date. I can also see typical blockhead male taking it the wrong way, though I am glad he didn't fall for this "new" (I'm thinking old though, her 'commander' reference has got my mind twirling) character and her succubus ways!
I can't wait to see what happens next!
Until then!
schedule
December 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Ah, and so the dancing begins. Poor Soi Fong, she has absolutely no experience to draw upon so she has no idea what to do! I can definitely understand those feelings though. It's too bad that Gwydion doesn't know her well enough to see that, but I'm sure that will be remedied soon, right? ^^
Intriguing new character, she sounds like she'd be a formidable opponent for Soi Fong (when it comes to Gwydion, I mean). I don't like her already! Haha.
Intriguing new character, she sounds like she'd be a formidable opponent for Soi Fong (when it comes to Gwydion, I mean). I don't like her already! Haha.
schedule
December 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Definitely a good read. I've read all of your stories in this series. They've been entertaining to say the least. I like the OCs alot and your writing style is really enjoyable. I like how you chose Soi Fong for this fic. You really get inside her head and portray her to be a cold blooded killer who cares nothing for anyone; but at the same time she is learning more about herself and changes along with it as the story progresses. Keep up the good work!
schedule
December 3, 2008 at 12:00 AM
LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! She pulled a Toushiro!! That's sooo cute! I love it, the sexual tension is awesome. Senna is so cute! Awesome chapter.
schedule
December 2, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This was mostly a transitional chapter, so good comments are at a minimum.
I did like seeing a conversation with a zanpakuto, and I like the atypical style of allowing a character to make revelations (sword, arm, etc.), both to readers and characters, quickly. The tradition is to drag out the exposition across several chapters, a sin of which I freely admit my own guilt.
Senna's appearance was quite cute, but I question its accuracy if Senna is really *eight*. Then again, I could simply have my age/maturity scale mixed up again.
And, moonymuch, remember that little digression about how a konpaku will more or less grow as it wills? Like, how Yachiru stays eternally in childhood while Toshiro and Rukia grow up? Well, I'm betting little Soi is about to hit a very belated puberty like a freight train colliding with several thousand barrels of sheep manure.
Finally, and partly because this has been bugging me all month, what happened to ol' Tosen in the Vision continuity? (Pun unintended.)
I'll bet Gin kicked the bucket without Rangiku's love to save him, but did Tosen's friends manage to free him from his own misconceived delusions of himself as justice incarnate, or take his life to prevent his further decline?
You don't have to put Tosen in the story, mark you, but please just let me know. I'll be happy.
...Gads, I feel like a jerk now.
I did like seeing a conversation with a zanpakuto, and I like the atypical style of allowing a character to make revelations (sword, arm, etc.), both to readers and characters, quickly. The tradition is to drag out the exposition across several chapters, a sin of which I freely admit my own guilt.
Senna's appearance was quite cute, but I question its accuracy if Senna is really *eight*. Then again, I could simply have my age/maturity scale mixed up again.
And, moonymuch, remember that little digression about how a konpaku will more or less grow as it wills? Like, how Yachiru stays eternally in childhood while Toshiro and Rukia grow up? Well, I'm betting little Soi is about to hit a very belated puberty like a freight train colliding with several thousand barrels of sheep manure.
Finally, and partly because this has been bugging me all month, what happened to ol' Tosen in the Vision continuity? (Pun unintended.)
I'll bet Gin kicked the bucket without Rangiku's love to save him, but did Tosen's friends manage to free him from his own misconceived delusions of himself as justice incarnate, or take his life to prevent his further decline?
You don't have to put Tosen in the story, mark you, but please just let me know. I'll be happy.
...Gads, I feel like a jerk now.
schedule
December 1, 2008 at 12:00 AM
w00t!!!
I read this last night, but I had to go straight to bed right after as today was the first day of deer season and I had to be out in the woods before sunrise. Got a doe if anyone cares.
Anyway, review time!!
Loved the chapter. It's nice to see both "Dion" and Soi Fon being changed by each other. I loved the talk with his Zan's spirit and I loved the interaction with Senna. No offense to Kaien, but Ichigo's girls have always been my favorite and I can't wait for any more little glimpses into how her character develops. It's nice to see Tatsuki in there as well, though I had no doubt as to how she would react to his fake arm.
In all the chapter was great (as usual) and I can't wait for more!!
I read this last night, but I had to go straight to bed right after as today was the first day of deer season and I had to be out in the woods before sunrise. Got a doe if anyone cares.
Anyway, review time!!
Loved the chapter. It's nice to see both "Dion" and Soi Fon being changed by each other. I loved the talk with his Zan's spirit and I loved the interaction with Senna. No offense to Kaien, but Ichigo's girls have always been my favorite and I can't wait for any more little glimpses into how her character develops. It's nice to see Tatsuki in there as well, though I had no doubt as to how she would react to his fake arm.
In all the chapter was great (as usual) and I can't wait for more!!
schedule
December 1, 2008 at 12:00 AM
It was nice to really see how Gwydion feels about Soi Fong, that was really touching. I definitely feel like she's one of those people who deep down really just wants to be loved. You could see that from the way she treated Yoruichi. Gwydion's relationship with his zanpakuto was very cute, too. And yay! Senna makes her appearance! That was just too cute. "Pretty!"
Soi Fong's growing? Maybe in the bust? I'm confused.
Soi Fong's growing? Maybe in the bust? I'm confused.
schedule
November 21, 2008 at 12:00 AM
It is always a pleasure to read one of your stories. This is no exception.
schedule
November 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Yay! A kiss... but ewww, creepy half formed souls or something... Nasty and evil. I can't wait for the update. Please let more 'action' happen. Oh, and little Senna appear.
schedule
November 16, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Dang. Just dang. Here I am, finally writing and posting my Bleach epic, piece by piece, on this site, and you happen to put a dual-sword wielding mastermind-type character who doesn't much like Mayuri into yours first. I mean, I can tell already that they have completely different personalities and abilities but still... just dang.
But enough of that! Onward to port Reviewdom!
Great chapter. Nice to see some good old-fashioned action, and I appreciate that you didn't fall into the trap of drawing out the suspense about Gwydion's weapon across fifty billion chapters. And what a weapon! "I told it to die in its own blood, and it did..." Heck yes! Freakin' sweet!
Regarding plot, good move. As much as I genuinely like your more episodic-romance style stories, I'll take a good-old-fashioned war over "She loves me, she loves me not despite-all-but-throwing-herself-naked-into-my-arms-and-even-that-eventually" any day. (No offense! *chuckles* Don't take that joke as *too* serious a criticism. It's the genre, after all.)
Evil Genius + Surgical Affection = Good stuff, provided the resulting creations are sufficiently monsterous. Adding in a healthy helping of bionic "enhancements" is also a plus in my book, as are grotesque, Fullmetal Alchemist or Berserk-style fusions of multiple creatures into one, no-longer-recognizable being.
Criticism: None, really. Villain lacks real motivation (or an area TO conquer), but that's pretty much a given at this point in time. Good action chapter, and I like that Gwydion has angst instead of angst. (Wait, that comment doesn't work in a spoken medium. Okay, the first one has the pretentious German pronunciation while the second has a more everyday one. Difference: one is tortured, one merely whiny.) I also appreciate it when you like my comments enough to mull them over in the story. I will strive hard to keep them up to par.
Finally, (and only vaguely self-aggrendizingly) I assume that everyone here has both a greater knowledge of classical Japanese culture than myself and the great fortune of seeing Hayao Miyazaki's epic masterpiece, Princess Mononoke. What are Ashitaka's upper-body-sleeve undergarments called? (Visible when he takes his shirt off to work the billows) I need to know for my story.
But enough of that! Onward to port Reviewdom!
Great chapter. Nice to see some good old-fashioned action, and I appreciate that you didn't fall into the trap of drawing out the suspense about Gwydion's weapon across fifty billion chapters. And what a weapon! "I told it to die in its own blood, and it did..." Heck yes! Freakin' sweet!
Regarding plot, good move. As much as I genuinely like your more episodic-romance style stories, I'll take a good-old-fashioned war over "She loves me, she loves me not despite-all-but-throwing-herself-naked-into-my-arms-and-even-that-eventually" any day. (No offense! *chuckles* Don't take that joke as *too* serious a criticism. It's the genre, after all.)
Evil Genius + Surgical Affection = Good stuff, provided the resulting creations are sufficiently monsterous. Adding in a healthy helping of bionic "enhancements" is also a plus in my book, as are grotesque, Fullmetal Alchemist or Berserk-style fusions of multiple creatures into one, no-longer-recognizable being.
Criticism: None, really. Villain lacks real motivation (or an area TO conquer), but that's pretty much a given at this point in time. Good action chapter, and I like that Gwydion has angst instead of angst. (Wait, that comment doesn't work in a spoken medium. Okay, the first one has the pretentious German pronunciation while the second has a more everyday one. Difference: one is tortured, one merely whiny.) I also appreciate it when you like my comments enough to mull them over in the story. I will strive hard to keep them up to par.
Finally, (and only vaguely self-aggrendizingly) I assume that everyone here has both a greater knowledge of classical Japanese culture than myself and the great fortune of seeing Hayao Miyazaki's epic masterpiece, Princess Mononoke. What are Ashitaka's upper-body-sleeve undergarments called? (Visible when he takes his shirt off to work the billows) I need to know for my story.