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rate_review Reviews

for Prize of Victory

by NovaAlexandria

person JOler
schedule August 6, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Hmmm ... Well since it probably isn't Soi-Fon that has Ggio's attention I'm guessing he's got the hots for a pretty little kitty he's spotted making visits from the human realm where the survivors are ... And he's kept the secret just to hope for a chance and enjoy watching until he figures out how to catch her eye like she's caught his. Hmmm Ggio/Yoroichi might be a cute combo ... Hmmm grey and black tiger striped kittens could be cute too ... LoL ... Wonder if that is the pretty that caught his eye.
schedule August 4, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I never thought I'd ever be motivated enough to make an actual account to review a story (usually I always review stories on FF without a name) but this, is pure unadulterated genius. I came across one of your older stories (cross-breeding the future, i think it's called) and I totally devoured it and it's continuation in a matter of days.

For the most part I love your writing style, and your creativity absolutely blows my mind. You are one of the best, most creative writers of Fan Fiction ever. Period. I cannot stress how difficult a task it is to try and flesh out characters especially if you did not create them, and what you have done with the characterizations given to you by the creator of the series (Tite Kubo) is absolutely phenomenal. Not only have you completely grasped the driving energy behind what makes each individual Canon character tick, you have also managed to harness and recreate that same characteristic energy, and kneaded it to fit the mold of your story. You took these characters deep, and made them more lovable than they were in the canon story. Their struggles, and their inner workings touch the readers heart, and it’s almost as though the reader is right there, struggling with them through every dark moment, and then consoling them and smiling with them in the brighter moments. It’s rare that I actually smile while I’m reading something (for some reason my faces usual disposition when I’m reading is a scowl), but your stories have made me smile so much that even my boyfriend commented on it. You've developed these characters more than even Kubo has in his over a decade of writing them, and that’s saying something! I wish a writer with creative energy and talent akin to yours could have been with Kubo, advising him during those phases where his creativity was obviously lacking in many chapters.
And your Non-canon characters, (Like Ajuga) are absolutely magical. Now, usually I despise second Gen fics, because the new generation is usually boring and uninspiring, or the result of some Anime-fangirl desperately trying to live through one of her characters, alongside the characters that she is so fond of. Because of this, i'm almost always likely to scoff at second-gen fics, almost as frequently as I scoff at AU's with 'rich business man meets struggling college/high school girl' settings. But the second Gen characters, from ALL of your stories, are so well thought out and characterized, that it makes me wish (yet again) that they were part of the canon-universe. Not many people can do that, and you are most definitely gifted in that respect.

On that note however, that brings me to my only major discontentment/concern with your writing thus far. In your FF's, I noticed (especially in your Trial of Fire FF, and to a certain degree in this FF as well) is that you have this slightly irritating habit of constantly pointing out how weak some characters are to one another, especially with the second-gen fics. It’s like, that character is cursed with being mediocre (and constantly reminded that they are by those around them) simply because their parents weren’t Ichigo, or some top-ranking Espada. That was the only thing that rubbed me the wrong way in your other FF’s, and when I started reading this FF in the back of my head it has been a subconscious fear of mine that you would also apply that sort of elitism to this story as well, which in my humble opinion is very disconcerting. In Trial of Fire, I began to dislike the way the other characters constantly reminded Leon of his inadequacy, and the way everyone else grew in strength while he was stationary. I know I cannot force you to do anything, because this is your story and I respect that, but please, if you ever intend to write more about the second Generation born as a result of the relationships between Shinigami/Hollow in PoV, please don’t enlist that particular element in your writing. I would hate to see Diaemus , Ajuga, the Unborn twins, or Renji’s child(ren) if he and Nel have any kids, to be put in that same situation. Of course some characters will be stronger in terms of destructive power, analytical prowess etc… But constantly mentioning one characters weakness is just plain cruel. I know Leon’s lack of power was ‘compensated’ for with his reishi control (which everyone pretty much surpassed anyway) and his ability to create garganta’s, but IMHO it hardly did anything to take away from the obvious discrepancy in treatment that he received, simply because he was seen as weaker. Every Shinigami/Hollow has strengths and weaknesses, and rather than dwelling on what makes them inferior I think more emphasis should be focused on their strengths. Other than that, I have no real complaints or concerns for your story, and again I have to say how much I do love your writing, You are an amazingly talented person, and you’re talented twice as much, for still managing to post all while raising a new born. I applaud you, and I’m sure if your son knew how talented and creative a writer his mother was, he would be very proud.
person satterb
schedule August 4, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I think Crimson and Clover is still one of my favorite chapters to date, but it's still wonderful when you post chapters full of hope. thanks for all your hard work on this story. Good luck in school and do your best.
person Namika
schedule August 4, 2012 at 12:00 AM
As always, LOVE your story and can't wait for the next chapter! Your writing style changed and at became more complex and... rich, I guess,and I like that a lot.
Kiss your little son in the tummy one extra time, from your readers :3 o(^O^)o
schedule August 3, 2012 at 12:00 AM
jesus, love this story but i just cant imagine them suffering 10 years of that kind of abuse and not going insane, i expect a bloody retribution from soi fon lol. its nice to see how the other characters are doing though and i can't wait to see how the Ggio and soi fon thing goes if she is in fact the girl he was refering to. keep up the good work and I just have 1 question, since males can claim other males is it possible for female Arrancar to somehow claim female shini? you may have already answered that so i might have to go back and skim earlier chapts but it's just a thought that has been on my mind for a while, wouldn't mind seeing how that kind of union would go.
person midnightwakeonyou
schedule August 3, 2012 at 12:00 AM
i have been reading this story for a year now and i have to say.. this is my favorite of all and i have read hundreds.. please update with you can as i mother i know how hard it is to write or just get something done.. i have to say your story is just freaking awesome and love what you brought with it...
person Misty
schedule August 3, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Yay, you updated! Aw, Ggio likes Soi Fon! I feel so bad for him and Yumichika, though...you have no qualms about showing how much crap the survivors have to go through (that's a good thing). I do like how all these odd friendships and relationships are forming through mutual suffering. So please, please finish this story.

Oh, and did you know your fic was recommended by someone on tv tropes? Type in 'Bleach Fanfic Recs' in Google and go to the 'For Want of a Nail' folder. Prize of Victory is near the bottom.
person bleachfan7
schedule July 31, 2012 at 12:00 AM
last 3 chaps were read in one go. happy ren's claimed by nel & there seemed to be nice chemistry between them. am hopeful eventually we'll get renruki happiness, with a restored byakuya added to the family group. aizen is such a bastard that i can't wait for him to get his just desserts. i really hope gin & szayzel get to have their piece of flesh, along w/unohana who has to let him rape her on a regular basis, even if he isn't as violent or sadistic with her as with gin and szayzel, & karin who's had so much grief thrust on her shoulders because of aizen's evil deeds. looking forward to the next visit with diaemus and his parents, and of course for some ulquihime romance and/or discussion of their issues & continued growth of ulqui's understanding of ori's view of morality so he doesn't constantly do or say offensive, hurtful things due to ignorance. hope baby is at least giving you time to sleep enough.
person Raymy
schedule July 31, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Geez! I read through 100 chapters in over a week. I didn't stop to review until there was no more to read. My head is so full of this story that I dream about it. I stay up all night (forcing myself to stay awake), even on work days. I had only 2.5 hours sleep last night! On to my review:
The Good: Keeps me interested, obviously. Well planned and executed. Talented writing skills. - I've really gotten into the characterizations you've created. I have a hard time actually watching the anime now because they don't conform to YOUR canon. I had never been a fan of Szayel in the anime because he seemed so prissy but I don't get that from your story and I really enjoy him, now. Same with Byakuya. Of course, I thought he was beautiful but so distant and therefore, hard to identify with. I appreciate what you put him through because he was forced to take a hard look at his previous assumptions regarding the importance of his heritage and self-importance. Now, he seems to be more accepting of people he would never have associated with while recognizing what is truly important within a person. I would like to see him be the one to put Yammy down as that would be essential for him to repair his victim status. I think that if he discovers Renji's secret, that will be one more boost for him on his way to salvation. Then there's Gin. As with Szayel, anyone who has been traumatized over a repeated length of time garners compassion regardless of previous crimes, especially when they've experienced growth in their own compassion. While I don't know if he could possibly be romantically involved with anyone ever, now that he is so thoroughly broken, it would be the finest gift if he could be friends with Rangiku, again. I really like that we get to jump around to the various characters so we can take a break from the same interactions between the main ones. Then when we come back to them, we miss them and want to know what they've been doing. Awww, the chibi's are so cute and are going to be essential to the outcome of the story, I think. I enjoy the sex, smut, smex, whatever you call it. But this last scene with Renji & Nel was awesome. The aspect of the strong male having to surrender after resisting was the clincher. So far, it seemed that the females had to surrender, and accept their mate, while the males made some small conciliations in the way they viewed their pets. I was really glad to see Renji restored. His vibrant nature was really awful to see destroyed. I don't mind any of the darkness as long as there is a flicker of hope, a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm sappy for a resolution in favour of the victimized. Rootin' for the underdog. I'm sure I could continue to give praise but I'll save some for the next review. On to:
The Bad: I'm not fond of spelling or grammatical errors. It distracts me. It clouds my judgement for the true feel of a story. Sometimes I "tch" so much that I can't get past it, I'm so busy wishing I could proof-read stories before they're published. Sooo, I did find there were times that I would have liked to PM you just to correct you. (Not often, though) Most people don't like to be corrected and that is one of my failings because I lack tact in that area. I do try to suck it up and remind myself that it is my problem and I'm not perfect in this regard, either. I didn't find your writing to be overwhelmingly error-ridden. Please believe me, you're paradise next to some. Sometimes it was a figure of speech that was not as it was originally intended and other times it was the choice of the word and its appropriate use. Anyway, if that's the "BAD" of this story, I think you can take it with a grain of salt, right?
The Ugly: Nobody's ugly, I just wanted to keep with the theme. Wait, Yammy's ugly. And Aizen's soul is ugly. Yeah, maybe Barragan but we don't know much about his inner world.
Thank you for your effort to entertain the masses for free. I'm sure it is hard work to get it "just right" and I wonder in passing what it would take for me to attempt it. Ah yes, I admitted it. I'm not a writer and so any criticism I have is not from a place of knowing. Please continue to update frequently. This is one of my pleasures in life; to see the characters fleshed out from a favourite story, i.e. Bleach, to see them have a larger and more rewarding life. I sometimes imagine they are in their universe, waiting for someone to write about them so they can be alive again.
person moodymel
schedule July 31, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Good update. I can't wait to see what you have in store for Aizen's punishment.