rate_review Reviews

loved the new chaps finally caught up again. :-) yay! ichigo is an awesome alpha!

Chap 43:"Grimmjow was puffed up like a bloody peacock". I so totally love that imagery. It's the blue hair, all spiky and fanned out. lol. I'm glad Shunsui finally came. I could understand when Byakuya came because of Rukia, but Shun should have come a long time ago, given Jushiro's acceptance. I imagined that Ju visited regularly over the past 5 years. Shun is one of my favourites so I hope he continues to figure in the story. Please, not in a bad way, I just don't think he's got that in him. Another chuckle came at Karin's "adamantium" jibe.

The following is constructive criticism on minor points which do not detract from the intent or flow of the story. I believe I understood your meaning and thoroughly enjoy the dialogue.

Both "Bisexual" and "Hermaphrodite" refer to having characteristics of both sexes under a biological definition and "characteristics" can mean actual physical parts or just traits. However, in the "living world", hermaphrodite is usually a term used for having both female and male organs, and bisexual is usually used for an attraction to both sexes. Since you are not referring to "humans", but a different "species", the politically correct "inter-sex" term wouldn't be necessary. Your "male" hollows have a penis but they don't really have a uterus since they don't "gestate" as a mammal. The "females" who don't appear in your story would not have a penis or uterus. Intsead, they both have, essentially, what you could call a "hollow's womb": a place to combine and concentrate the "reiastu"(see note below). So perhaps hermaphrodite isn't a good word choice. "Androgenous" might be a better term for your hollows, but then again, maybe not, because they do present as either female or male. They just all have the capability to produce an offspring. There might be a term for that but I'm not sure what it is. Sorry to lead you on a merry chase, but I think the term "hermaphrodite" can still be used after all, if it were qualified by Szayel as "being as close to a correct term that the human language can provide, being that there is no correct terminology for hollow reproduction".

Regarding the substance that they concentrate in their "hollow wombs". I always get confused about this Bleach terminology. This is what I researched: Reishi (spirit particles) the main component of souls, Reiryoka (spirit energy) the storage pool, Reiastu (spirit pressure) physical force released from storage pool. I would have thought that reishi is what the hollows are combining from each parent to create the concentrated bundle which is then extruded as an egg.

I just read chapters 42 and 43 and I'm loving what you did with Szayel and Grimmjow and Ichigo. I totally think it fits. I am glad that Blackstorm liked it too and sorry that you had to have such a negative response to that chapter. I didn't see it as too intimate or anything, I took it just like you explained at the end of chapter 43, you showed how much Grimmjow has become more than just a hollow and how much psyclogical damage was still present in Szayel. I believe you also addressed the reason that Szayel cannot find a mate, being as strong as he is, there are no other hollows that are strong enough, and unmated, to mate with him. I can also see Ichigo doing this as he isn't possessiv,e like Grimmjow, and he wanted to help Szayel. It works out perfect for all parties, as you already explained in the chapter, by healing Szayel more and his milk being ready before both eggs hatch.

I also loved the visual I got from "Grimmjow was puffed up like a bloody peacock", that was perfect. I liked having Shunsui visit, he should continue to do so, in a good way, I always liked him, Jushiro too.

I'm not sure on the whole hermaphrodite versus bisexual and the correct terminology part, but I figure we all understood what you were trying to explain. I think hermaphrodite was a good term to use because we all got it and like Raymy said, "the term "hermaphrodite" can still be used after all, if it were qualified by Szayel as "being as close to a correct term that the human language can provide, being that there is no correct terminology for hollow reproduction".

So once again two more awesome chapters that I absolutely loved! I can't wait for more. Keep up your amazing writing. I hope all is well with you and your family.

Makes me wonder what on Earth people are all up in arms about, but from one writer to another: This is your story, and i'm glad to see that you are keeping it the way it is. Don't let others bother you who may not like the way it goes. If they don't like it they either don't have to read it, or they can go write something themselves... but then most can't do that.
On another note: Still loving this story, and how you are working it. I would have been more surprised had Ichigo not done as he did as he is just that kind of guy, but i love that you show how hard it is to adhere to what he has started. I have to say though that with the Title I honestly expect Ichigo to become the king of Hueco Mundo. I can't wait to see if my guess is right, and how it works out!
Keep on writing!

I love how it's progressing so far. I have no problem with how chapter 42 turned out, i thought it was really good and that it DID kill a bunch of birds with a single stone :) Keep doing a great job :D

I'm amazed that people had a negative reaction. I think it is perfectly logical for Ichigo to realize that the best way to keep Szayel happy and in the pack was for Szayel to have another child. To be honest, I was expecting for Ichigo to find a way to bring H'tsu's body into the forefront while controlling the supreme sadistic actions, but this also brings Szayel's children closer to Ichigo's own, when he already feels so responsible for Szayel. It's a little bit like taking in a pet, but it really is a tactic used in packs.

Also, a note about early breastfeeding; as long as the infant is fully developed, the child can last 3 days on their brown fat while waiting for the mother to produce milk. It is different for creatures coming from eggs, because the baby eats/absorbs the placenta and nutrients as it grows (thus making the shell thinner) The baby doesn't break out of the shell until they get hungry enough to struggle. That's why sometimes 1 or 2 eggs will take a day or so more to hatch than the rest of the nest. I hope that info is helpful.

Other than that, good writing. Is there a little Junshiro/Shunsui action going on in the background? Their wanting a child would be a good reason for the curiosity... *hint hint*

I thought your solution was brilliant - so I don't know why you received negative comments about it.

Good chapter! My only comment is regarding this: "“In actual fact, only those of Adjucus level and higher can breed, and they are Hermaphrodites, not Bisexual. To be Bisexual would imply that they would have both male and female organs, which they do not. The reproductive system is the same for each Adjucus.”"

1) Hermaphrodite is an offensive term for beings with multiple or ambiguous genitalia. The proper term is Intersex
2) "To be Bisexual would imply that they would have both male and female organs". Being bisexual means to be attracted to two or more genders, not have both male and female organs. Perhaps you meant to write Intersex instead of bisexual in this sentence?

Can't wait for the next chapter!

Chap 42: First off. I usually read previous reviews before I make mine and I want to address the "Bleh" review. It's too bad that this person has so much invested in a monogamous relationship between Ichigo and Grimmjow that it caused such a strong reaction. However much that situation is desired in RL, it's a bit restrictive in fan fiction. While I don't think "throwing out the baby with the bathwater" is necessarily a good response, he/she won't want to read more of the 'side affair' and will probably stop reading this story altogether. I don't think that reaction is essential, though, because I believe that you won't dwell on the sex to refresh the markers with Szayel, and will continue to reinforce the relationship between the main pairing. This deviation from their link might well be the only one needed to ensure Szayel's happiness and Grimmjow's instinct. They will probably resume the previous arrangement once the cubs are born. This story has been too good to let a minor disillusionment colour the whole thing. "Bleh", I ask that you give it a chance to work out, and recognize the special circumstances. Not that she needs you as a reader but more that you won't want to miss out on such good storytelling.

As for my opinion, I'm ecstatic that you chose this path! It demonstrates the compassion that Ichigo embodies and the unwavering drive of a hollow's instinct both for Grimmjow and Szayel. I think your solution was brilliant. Ah, Grimmy sure has matured. Even under the influence of his overwhelming urges, he's able to sense and respond to the needs of his Beta. I'm glad Szayel gets not only another cub but some healing for his suppressed pain. He may be able to have a romantic lover of his own, one day, maybe a Shinigami who doesn't follow the rules? Although I don't have many restrictions as to how pairings happen, I would like the story to stay within the plausibility of the author's universe. I think you have achieved this with respect to each characters personality.

I wont bother reading this chapter.

If i had some sort of warning that Grimm would be screwing someone else other than Ichigo at any point in the story, i wouldn't have bothered reading it at all in the first place.

Grimmjow's "dream" finally comes true......and yet I have a feeling Ichigo's 'beta behavior isn't going to mimic his own. Grimm gets to play alpha but doesn't quite get that 100% submissive beta he was wanting. Maybe? LOL

I'm really happy you did a time skip, too! As much as I enjoy your writing, reading about 5 years of schooling would have been a bit boring.

I'm feeling a bit bad for Szayal again and wondering if there will be a way to give him another cub in the future somehow...

Thanks for the update and looking forward to the next as always!