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October 23, 2011 at 12:00 AM
This story is interesting in theory. I think it definitely has a lot of potential. However, you are copying Togainu no Chi almost exactly without a shred of originality. I don't mean to sound harsh, but I lose interest in the story very quickly because I have already seen it. I love Togainu no Chi, but simply injecting the bleach characters into the plot without altering the plot in any way is basically plagiarism and it makes the story uneventful because I know exactly whats going to happen next. Try switching up the plot and creating something original in this universe you created. Like I said, it is a very interesting crossover and I think it could be very successful if you are willing to make the changes you need to make.