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July 10, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I'm dying to know what Ichi is now
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July 10, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I don't know whats happening but I love Chad/Ichi yaoi.... I hope Chad will still be in this.
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July 10, 2012 at 12:00 AM
This is killing me I'm dying to read more.
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July 10, 2012 at 12:00 AM
It seems like their is more to what is going on with Ichigo then what Syazel said. Plus the sword that he'd been using on the soul reapers broke,crumbled & disappeared after he used it the last time.
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July 10, 2012 at 12:00 AM
This is getting better. I like all the soul reapers that he turned into vizards & I like that they all want him. I like the ones that want Ichi now but I'd like to see Chad & Staark with him too. I wonder what Ichigo is now....is he like an incubus or something?
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June 24, 2012 at 12:00 AM
This isn’t a very good fiction.
I’m not saying it to be mean but this is really a very annoying challenge to read. You’ve either written it in a hurry or you don’t really understand basic sentence-structure, grammar or how to use adjectives. Besides that, there’s far too much drama for such a quick beginning, all this yelling and the part where he starting screaming for someone to kill him makes for a very hard to believe story.
The idea behind this story is a good enough one but you need to slow down and let the words flow instead of just ramming them at us. I suggest reading a few well-written books and stepping back so you can actually look at this through clear eyes.
Still, not saying it to be mean, I’m really hoping this will help you fix your writing issues.
With love,
DisPie Swag
(As an after-thought, I suggest also getting rid of the flash-backs at the beginning of each chapter, this isn’t a TV series where you may have people just tuning in, most people read from the start. If you remove this part it will firstly help you to plan ahead and secondly you won’t turn potential watchers away, let’s face it, the flash-backs are annoying.)
I’m not saying it to be mean but this is really a very annoying challenge to read. You’ve either written it in a hurry or you don’t really understand basic sentence-structure, grammar or how to use adjectives. Besides that, there’s far too much drama for such a quick beginning, all this yelling and the part where he starting screaming for someone to kill him makes for a very hard to believe story.
The idea behind this story is a good enough one but you need to slow down and let the words flow instead of just ramming them at us. I suggest reading a few well-written books and stepping back so you can actually look at this through clear eyes.
Still, not saying it to be mean, I’m really hoping this will help you fix your writing issues.
With love,
DisPie Swag
(As an after-thought, I suggest also getting rid of the flash-backs at the beginning of each chapter, this isn’t a TV series where you may have people just tuning in, most people read from the start. If you remove this part it will firstly help you to plan ahead and secondly you won’t turn potential watchers away, let’s face it, the flash-backs are annoying.)