rate_review Reviews

So it's the end, and she's gonna marry Bya. Well, it's not unnatural for him to marry someone he barely knows, that is expected, and at least he knows her more than any other. Considering that Rin doesn't seem to bond easily with people, what she has with him is enough to begin a life. You've set the stage for the next story. I wonder if it was easy to let go of this one, since you have a continuation. See you, Rin, Byakuya, Aika, Toshiro, and Daisuke, soon.

Chaps 23 - 26: Hey there, sorry to wait so long to review. I didn't even notice you had more than one chapter uploaded and then there were a few stories I was reading so I got side-tracked. Anywho, I liked being able to read 4 chapters at once, getting really immersed in the story.

Well, there was a lot of action going on in these chapters. I thought the battle between Rin and Aika was well written. I'm not into fight scenes usually, I guess they're sometimes too technical and just descriptions of who did what. But yours had good dialogue being that they knew each other (rather Aika knew Rin, but Rin couldn't remember knowing Aika, which didn't stop her from making her usual acerbic comments). Haha, lightning up her ass! That's the only way to truly shock her system, in effect, reboot her brain. The flashbacks of Daisuke were also entertaining, bringing him into stronger focus. I'm glad Rin was able to let Byakuya back in; I like that both women have someone to connect with. All in all, I was thoroughly engaged with the story.

Chap 22: Sorry to hear about you being in the hospital, hope you're doing all right. Though, if you're out now, then you must be okay. I work at a hospital lab and there is quite a range of patients, from semi-healthy to extremely ill, who populate the beds. It's hard to tell the nature of the visit when someone says "hospital", so all I can give is the generic response and hope it wasn't serious. Also on a personal note, thanks for your review of my Halloween one-shot. It's nice to get a nod. Can I assume that you prefer Het. stories, with a touch of lime? Your bio is blank but your stories are "telling".

I really enjoyed reading this chapter. I think Toshiro is adorable and doesn't get much nooky due to his youthful, good looks (stress "youthful"). I'm glad you created a strong female who would be a good match for him and it's refreshing for the character to get to know someone new, instead of having to find new feelings for someone in their limited circle.

There was some recent postings in the Forum regarding the lack of good female characters in yaoi stories and maybe the reason is two-fold. One: Het. stories feature women prominently, therefore would make sense they would be written well. Two: females in anime fanfic have been bashed for so long that it's difficult to reinvent them, whereas, female OC's can be as admirable and heroic as any of the males we cherish. I've grown to treasure your OC's and look forward to reading the sequel. It will be easier for me than when I started this fic, now that they are familiar.

On to saving Rin and restoring her memory!

Chap. 21: It's good to see that Rin has a way out of her predicament, the location I mean. As for her amnesia, I wonder how that will 'cure'. It's funny to note that once her memory was gone, her caustic manner remained intact, revealing that her upbringing isn't totally responsible for her behaviour.

I'm not surprised about Aika and Toshiro. It's nice for him as he's usually paired with Karin (too young) or Momo (too gullible) and Aika seems to be a strong character, more equal to his abilities.

I finally got around to reading this story again and had about 4 or 5 chapters to catch up on. I really liked chap. 19 with Grimmkitty and their small friendship. She doesn't have anyone there to trust and I guess he's as close as she's gonna get. I wonder if he'll help her out, later. Also, glad Bya and Rin scratched that itch but its too bad she's so shy about talking, hoping it doesn't put a big strain on the relationship. They had been getting quite comfortable with each other. Is there something developing with Aika and Toshiro?

Chapter 15: Happy to see the connection growing stronger between ByaRin. The small admission of "good person" is quite a feat for her. Too bad about the headaches. If I was plagued with bad headaches, I'd be a grouch, too. No such excuse, though. Will the next chapter be the mission?

Chap 12 - 14: So now that the story is more focused on Rin and Byakuya, apart from the Ryoka storyline, I'm finding it quite enjoyable. I like Rin's abrasiveness. She's very much like Byakuya in that she hides her inner self but her out self is almost opposite of him. She needs people around her that are very patient and observant to understand her. I don't think I would be able to put up with the constant ingratitude she shows for a simple kind word or gesture, though. I would feel she was taking advantage, but she wouldn't care. The swearing and grouchiness is fine to a point, but I hope she opens up more to Byakuya as she gets to know him and vice versa.

Chapter 10. I can see Rin and Byakuya have a unique opportunity because of being forced to remain together. Little things that let down their strongly held guards are allowing them to learn about each other. It's interesting how you insert Rin into the Canon without changing it to advance her story. However, because the story is mainly a forum to introduce your OC's, her plot-line seems to move quite slowly and I may not feel there is anything to comment on in some chapters. I will still following this story and try to find something to comment on each chapter

I'm not generally a fan of OC's, but I have enjoyed other stories with them especially if they're well-written. I by-passed your story many times because of this but as per my usual, I decided to give it a try. I do think it is written with care to keep within the canon while adding your OC's special twist. I'm finding that I"m getting more interested with each chapter and I assume your writing style must be the cause. This is my way of complimenting you without being overly enthusiastic. I'm still cautious about the storyline being followed too closely to canon because you're walking a fine line. While I don't want to read a copy of Tite Kubo's story, I don't want the actual history to be changed either since you've been following it precisely. I think you are presenting this as a side story, complimenting the original. At some point, I expect your story's plot to flourish without the constraints of the original as that arc should end soon. I look forward to that development.