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November 17, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Chap 9 - You are most welcome! I am thoroughly enjoying every chapter of this story I read. I dun want it to end! D:
Don't loose hope Bya! *cheers him on* "Mouthful of canary"...*tries not to laugh obnoxiously and fails* Hee Hee! I would have bonked Shuuehi on the head so hard he'd have had trouble remembering anything just for laughing if I were Bayakuya. That must be a slow butterfly, it is time to play musical houses!
Awww, Renji knows what Bya likes. So sexy! That silly guy kinda sortta drifted off while he was waiting. It does a heart good to hear them making up. I'm glad Renji acknowledged his aggression as something he shouldn't have let get a strong hold of him before. "Moving forward" is a great concept!
Renji crying during their love making was touching but a tense moment for me to read. I was nervous hoping he wasn't breaking down (in a bad way). That was some hot love between those two! Whew! And extra points for Renji being on bottom. *wink*
That was a wonderful ending, it made me smile and gave warm fuzzies. They really do care for each other and that is a beautiful thing. I am wondering a bit about what Renji's final thoughts could lead to.
The feeling is mutual; repeating words when I write, and I can tell when I do it, drives me bonkers. I love that poem! Tee Hee *giggles* I hope I get to read more of your writing! It brightens my day to read excellent stories with interesting themes, and your writing is MOST EXCELLENT!
Don't loose hope Bya! *cheers him on* "Mouthful of canary"...*tries not to laugh obnoxiously and fails* Hee Hee! I would have bonked Shuuehi on the head so hard he'd have had trouble remembering anything just for laughing if I were Bayakuya. That must be a slow butterfly, it is time to play musical houses!
Awww, Renji knows what Bya likes. So sexy! That silly guy kinda sortta drifted off while he was waiting. It does a heart good to hear them making up. I'm glad Renji acknowledged his aggression as something he shouldn't have let get a strong hold of him before. "Moving forward" is a great concept!
Renji crying during their love making was touching but a tense moment for me to read. I was nervous hoping he wasn't breaking down (in a bad way). That was some hot love between those two! Whew! And extra points for Renji being on bottom. *wink*
That was a wonderful ending, it made me smile and gave warm fuzzies. They really do care for each other and that is a beautiful thing. I am wondering a bit about what Renji's final thoughts could lead to.
The feeling is mutual; repeating words when I write, and I can tell when I do it, drives me bonkers. I love that poem! Tee Hee *giggles* I hope I get to read more of your writing! It brightens my day to read excellent stories with interesting themes, and your writing is MOST EXCELLENT!
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November 16, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Oh wow... you can write some hot lovin! I really enjoyed the first five chapters a lot. And then I started to get a little lost in Chapter 6 because I actually don't know anything about Bleach. However, your writing style is solid, and entertaining. I especially loved the little scene of teaching Byakuya to talk dirty. Very good. The only suggestion I would make is for Chapter 5. I liked the way you switched pov between chapters, but it seemed a little startling to do it in the middle of the chapter, especially because you announced it. Even though they were parts of the same scene I almost feel like it should have been split into two mini chapters to keep with the previous trend in the story.
Anyways, wonderful job!
Anyways, wonderful job!
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November 2, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Chap 8 - It seems Renji's run from the room to clear his head so he wouldn't be fooled by some act, if any was present. A wise move but so very saddening. Sharing a lover is no fun at all; I can definitely empathize with Renji's frustrations, and the way he's handling his feels makes sense. Renji appears clever or at least suspicious about breaking down that note. Suspicion can lead to false assumptions though, and we only know some truths about the note from Bya and Juu's conversation but Renji has a plethora of ideas stemming from that note. Hopefully when Byakuya and him talk about it again he doesn't blurt out some theory he'd regret later.
Awww man...missin' the hair-tie...that is one of the most pesky things to be without if you need one. x3 That beside frustration just makes the frustration even worse.
Hana and that tattoo...*dies of laughter* oh that poor guy... Oddly enough I can picture Shuuhei as a tattoo artist. I appreciate Shuu's noted of habit of gathering facts before crafting an opinion; that is an important skill. He seems like the perfect person for Renji to confide in. But wait...oh f*ck...SHUUHEI!!!!!! *rages and clears her desk of papers in one fell swoop* After finishing the chapter... *restacks papers on her desk* that unexpected HORNY Shuuhei has definitely proven himself to make use of interesting tactics to pull Renji from his gloom. I can't say I nod my head and cheer at the use of flirting but it's a little adorable I won't lie. :3 Poor Renji standing awkwardly there with people watching and in complete bewilderment for those moments. I sense a turn of events 'round the bend.
Prequel?! That I will nod to!
I can't wait to read how Renji and Byakuya make up after this severe blow. *cheers* Keep a' typin'! Me wanna read moar!
Awww man...missin' the hair-tie...that is one of the most pesky things to be without if you need one. x3 That beside frustration just makes the frustration even worse.
Hana and that tattoo...*dies of laughter* oh that poor guy... Oddly enough I can picture Shuuhei as a tattoo artist. I appreciate Shuu's noted of habit of gathering facts before crafting an opinion; that is an important skill. He seems like the perfect person for Renji to confide in. But wait...oh f*ck...SHUUHEI!!!!!! *rages and clears her desk of papers in one fell swoop* After finishing the chapter... *restacks papers on her desk* that unexpected HORNY Shuuhei has definitely proven himself to make use of interesting tactics to pull Renji from his gloom. I can't say I nod my head and cheer at the use of flirting but it's a little adorable I won't lie. :3 Poor Renji standing awkwardly there with people watching and in complete bewilderment for those moments. I sense a turn of events 'round the bend.
Prequel?! That I will nod to!
I can't wait to read how Renji and Byakuya make up after this severe blow. *cheers* Keep a' typin'! Me wanna read moar!
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October 25, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Chap 7 - :3 I'm glad my reviews could bring you such a grin! :D
Awwww! It was the worst thing imaginable! *smacks forehead and falls backward off her perch on the couch* I kept reading this whole turn around and cold splash of reality on Renji from Bya had me in knots. Suspenseful! Wonderful! Yet so painful! Renji snarled at Byakuya...that is NOT a good sign. He's very hurt by this, I can feel his pain by how he's acting, and from the after effects Byakuya is hurting nearly just as badly. Ukitake is so kind to comfort Bya in his despairing time.
I love how hard times can really bring out just how much a person cares for another (Renji cares for Byakuya). Ukitake is very respectful about Byakuya needing a little breathing space at the end of the chapter, that made me very happy, Juu is very accepting and takes the turning of events well. :3
Make-up smex?! Yum yum! Still stayin' tuned! Keep it up!
Awwww! It was the worst thing imaginable! *smacks forehead and falls backward off her perch on the couch* I kept reading this whole turn around and cold splash of reality on Renji from Bya had me in knots. Suspenseful! Wonderful! Yet so painful! Renji snarled at Byakuya...that is NOT a good sign. He's very hurt by this, I can feel his pain by how he's acting, and from the after effects Byakuya is hurting nearly just as badly. Ukitake is so kind to comfort Bya in his despairing time.
I love how hard times can really bring out just how much a person cares for another (Renji cares for Byakuya). Ukitake is very respectful about Byakuya needing a little breathing space at the end of the chapter, that made me very happy, Juu is very accepting and takes the turning of events well. :3
Make-up smex?! Yum yum! Still stayin' tuned! Keep it up!
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October 23, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Chap 3 - I'm not certain why when I submit a review that the page cuts it short but it keeps doing that...heh. This is my last try to post the whole thing and if it doesn't work I will send it to you directly.
Chap 3 - Posting many chapters at once can be a good thing, it gives readers more to read if the chapters are short. It could also lessen the number of views you get for your story but to some writers that isn't a main concern. *shrug* We your faithful readers sure don't shun you for giving us a bunch of chapters to read! <3
I often avoid stories with a first person perspective because of series characters being paired with non-series characters (such as people's personally created characters). Maybe that's just me having bad experiences with these types of stories but pah! The first person perspective you use (and switching off between characters) is muy bien! It captures my interest and definitely avoids annoying me because the inner thoughts from the perspective are relevant and at times amusing.
I agree with Byakuya *raises hand* Renji's tattoos are VERY fitting. Washing each other in the shower is such an endearing, sweet concept. I sense the wrecking of the bed in the next chapter, must read more! :3
Chap 3 - Posting many chapters at once can be a good thing, it gives readers more to read if the chapters are short. It could also lessen the number of views you get for your story but to some writers that isn't a main concern. *shrug* We your faithful readers sure don't shun you for giving us a bunch of chapters to read! <3
I often avoid stories with a first person perspective because of series characters being paired with non-series characters (such as people's personally created characters). Maybe that's just me having bad experiences with these types of stories but pah! The first person perspective you use (and switching off between characters) is muy bien! It captures my interest and definitely avoids annoying me because the inner thoughts from the perspective are relevant and at times amusing.
I agree with Byakuya *raises hand* Renji's tattoos are VERY fitting. Washing each other in the shower is such an endearing, sweet concept. I sense the wrecking of the bed in the next chapter, must read more! :3
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October 23, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Chap 3 - (cont...)
I often avoid stories with a first person perspective because of series characters being paired with non-series characters (such as people's personally created characters). Maybe that's just me having bad experiences with these types of stories but pah! The first person perspective you use (and switching off between characters) is muy bien! It captures my interest and definitely avoids annoying me because the inner thoughts from the perspective are relevant and at times amusing.
I agree with Byakuya *raises hand* Renji's tattoos are VERY fitting. Washing each other in the shower is such an endearing, sweet concept. I sense the wrecking of the bed in the next chapter, must read more! :3
I often avoid stories with a first person perspective because of series characters being paired with non-series characters (such as people's personally created characters). Maybe that's just me having bad experiences with these types of stories but pah! The first person perspective you use (and switching off between characters) is muy bien! It captures my interest and definitely avoids annoying me because the inner thoughts from the perspective are relevant and at times amusing.
I agree with Byakuya *raises hand* Renji's tattoos are VERY fitting. Washing each other in the shower is such an endearing, sweet concept. I sense the wrecking of the bed in the next chapter, must read more! :3
schedule
October 23, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Chap 4 - I think I figured out what was cutting off the review for chapter 3, bah!
Oooohhhh boy...making a mess is such a good thing. Byakuya is hard and in charge, but he's still conscientious in a caring sort of way - which I appreciate because it makes him into more than a sex crazed man. "Conscientious" was the first word that came to mind but perhaps "thoughtful" is a better one.
Subordination assumes two forms in my mind after reading this chapter; one work oriented and the other in their blossoming sexual relationship, the progression of the non-work type interests me. Perhaps the two types will have to merge together [in some way] in order to keep them together? At least Byakuya doesn't seem interested in "using" (for the worse) Renji in his subordinate position, that would be a twist but upsetting at the same time.
Poor Byakuya has a moment of internal conflict before Renji makes him laugh, that is just a perfect scene. Definitely heartwarming and still on-track with the events. Overall this chapter made me feel warm and fuzzy about their newly developing type of relationship, a very good read. I expected wild sex from this chapter but I was pleasantly surprised that it didn't come just yet.
Oooohhhh boy...making a mess is such a good thing. Byakuya is hard and in charge, but he's still conscientious in a caring sort of way - which I appreciate because it makes him into more than a sex crazed man. "Conscientious" was the first word that came to mind but perhaps "thoughtful" is a better one.
Subordination assumes two forms in my mind after reading this chapter; one work oriented and the other in their blossoming sexual relationship, the progression of the non-work type interests me. Perhaps the two types will have to merge together [in some way] in order to keep them together? At least Byakuya doesn't seem interested in "using" (for the worse) Renji in his subordinate position, that would be a twist but upsetting at the same time.
Poor Byakuya has a moment of internal conflict before Renji makes him laugh, that is just a perfect scene. Definitely heartwarming and still on-track with the events. Overall this chapter made me feel warm and fuzzy about their newly developing type of relationship, a very good read. I expected wild sex from this chapter but I was pleasantly surprised that it didn't come just yet.
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October 23, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Chap 5 - System of punishment as roleplay, tee hee, exciting says I!
There is a definite passion between these two, and their playfulness is just too cute (in such an enticing and amusing way)! Renji's so tender and sweet toward Byakuya after they've finished their love-making, cleaning him up, tucking him in and cuddling. No wonder Byakuya thinks time with Renji is better (it makes me wonder what dancing together with Renji might make him think).
*cuddles up to your beautiful writing and smothers it with praise* Likie this chapter a lot! Yum yum!
There is a definite passion between these two, and their playfulness is just too cute (in such an enticing and amusing way)! Renji's so tender and sweet toward Byakuya after they've finished their love-making, cleaning him up, tucking him in and cuddling. No wonder Byakuya thinks time with Renji is better (it makes me wonder what dancing together with Renji might make him think).
*cuddles up to your beautiful writing and smothers it with praise* Likie this chapter a lot! Yum yum!
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October 23, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Chap 6 - I have caught up! Yus! *pelvic thrust then steadies game face*
After reading more chapter I see what you mean, I hope Byakuya can help Renji with that self-conscious feeling. Renji is turning out to be a very cute character. *swoons at the happy thought of bare chested men with long, flowing hair*
Why can I see Byakuya's "gimmie space face" ending in him [unintentionally] slamming the door in Renji's face? Pah! Apparently though Renji isn't one to camp outside the door until Bya comes back out. I was about to say that's not a good or bad thing but considering the way Renji comes back to Bya once making contact is again ok seems to mean he isn't disheartened from "gimmie space", that's actually a really good thing so long as Byakuya doesn't get irritated. "...less fire in my loins, more snuggle in my heart." excellent qualification for Renji's affectionate attitude.
Lies?! I think Renji's being a bit too forthcoming but the sooner the better I suppose. Withholding truths can make a mess of a relationship.
At least Renji was willing to confess, Byakuya you have some mystery about you! *crosses arms* Bya you better be there when Renji gets back... *grumbles* Even toward Renji Bya closes off, it makes me think the worst. Maybe something embarrassing or horrific happened...I am staying tuned for next chapter! :3
After reading more chapter I see what you mean, I hope Byakuya can help Renji with that self-conscious feeling. Renji is turning out to be a very cute character. *swoons at the happy thought of bare chested men with long, flowing hair*
Why can I see Byakuya's "gimmie space face" ending in him [unintentionally] slamming the door in Renji's face? Pah! Apparently though Renji isn't one to camp outside the door until Bya comes back out. I was about to say that's not a good or bad thing but considering the way Renji comes back to Bya once making contact is again ok seems to mean he isn't disheartened from "gimmie space", that's actually a really good thing so long as Byakuya doesn't get irritated. "...less fire in my loins, more snuggle in my heart." excellent qualification for Renji's affectionate attitude.
Lies?! I think Renji's being a bit too forthcoming but the sooner the better I suppose. Withholding truths can make a mess of a relationship.
At least Renji was willing to confess, Byakuya you have some mystery about you! *crosses arms* Bya you better be there when Renji gets back... *grumbles* Even toward Renji Bya closes off, it makes me think the worst. Maybe something embarrassing or horrific happened...I am staying tuned for next chapter! :3
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October 22, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Chap 2 - "Guffaw" this word gets a gold star...I am most serious about that. I love that word.
Byakuya as a dancer, I picture such an elegant display of careful fluid movements mixed with long trailing black hair. What a beautiful thought that instils. He also seems very cautious, not wanting anyone from Seireitei to catch him dancing (which begs the question, will some one see him?).
Aww, Poor Renji tripping on the rug, me thinks he's a little tense...and then they hit the shower/bath to get clean just to turn around and get dirty. :3 I think this chapter has confirmed my guess about Byakuya being more composed/confident, I can't wait to see how Renji handles this (with seemingly little experience), should be a most delicious adventure for him.
One chapter compels you to write another and another and another, keep going! I love this story. :3
Byakuya as a dancer, I picture such an elegant display of careful fluid movements mixed with long trailing black hair. What a beautiful thought that instils. He also seems very cautious, not wanting anyone from Seireitei to catch him dancing (which begs the question, will some one see him?).
Aww, Poor Renji tripping on the rug, me thinks he's a little tense...and then they hit the shower/bath to get clean just to turn around and get dirty. :3 I think this chapter has confirmed my guess about Byakuya being more composed/confident, I can't wait to see how Renji handles this (with seemingly little experience), should be a most delicious adventure for him.
One chapter compels you to write another and another and another, keep going! I love this story. :3