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July 26, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Ooooo!!! KenpachixByakuya(semeuke) with toys and oral and anal!
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April 18, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 2: Accidents will Happen
Strange title for this piece. It applies to the reason Mayuri ended up at the 11th barracks, but what happened after was no accident. Heh, heh, what if Zaraki caused the explosion at the 12th, just to get Mayuri's quarters reassigned to his division. You said he was 'surprisingly' open-minded about having them bunk, there. Perhaps, his open mind was due to the fact that it was already plotting this turn. He could've put a bug in Yamamoto's ear about it. Oh, that's just too OOC for Kenpachi! LOL. What's right in character is his swagger. Thinks he's "all that" and interprets Mayuri's expression as being directly related to his "effect" on people. He's a pig. Oh, okay, give him props for preparing the virgin and finding his prostate to make sure he came, but I think that's to feed his own ego. He wants his partner to be "amazed" at his prowess. I just get a creepy feeling about him in this story.
You paint a different picture of Mayuri than what is in my brain already. He seems vulnerable and sort of like an absent minded professor. The statement that "For once, it really hadn't been his fault." is so telling. Like, there are accidents in his lab routinely and they're usually his fault. Doesn't seem like he's got things under control. Then, he's absorbed in his shower and numbed from exhaustion, and doesn't notice his door open. Again, not what I expect. But the final and crucial point is that he is unable to extricate himself from Zaraki's clutches, even though he wants to. This is the vulnerable part. He has a neediness that seems to tip the balance in favour of going with the flow. And his reaction afterwards speaks loudly of his inability to return to his normal state; the emptiness he had kept hidden suddenly exposed and raw.
So, I liked it, overall. If you can make me write this much for a one-shot, then you did what I expect from a story. You made me question, think, compare and ultimately, enjoy. Well done.
Strange title for this piece. It applies to the reason Mayuri ended up at the 11th barracks, but what happened after was no accident. Heh, heh, what if Zaraki caused the explosion at the 12th, just to get Mayuri's quarters reassigned to his division. You said he was 'surprisingly' open-minded about having them bunk, there. Perhaps, his open mind was due to the fact that it was already plotting this turn. He could've put a bug in Yamamoto's ear about it. Oh, that's just too OOC for Kenpachi! LOL. What's right in character is his swagger. Thinks he's "all that" and interprets Mayuri's expression as being directly related to his "effect" on people. He's a pig. Oh, okay, give him props for preparing the virgin and finding his prostate to make sure he came, but I think that's to feed his own ego. He wants his partner to be "amazed" at his prowess. I just get a creepy feeling about him in this story.
You paint a different picture of Mayuri than what is in my brain already. He seems vulnerable and sort of like an absent minded professor. The statement that "For once, it really hadn't been his fault." is so telling. Like, there are accidents in his lab routinely and they're usually his fault. Doesn't seem like he's got things under control. Then, he's absorbed in his shower and numbed from exhaustion, and doesn't notice his door open. Again, not what I expect. But the final and crucial point is that he is unable to extricate himself from Zaraki's clutches, even though he wants to. This is the vulnerable part. He has a neediness that seems to tip the balance in favour of going with the flow. And his reaction afterwards speaks loudly of his inability to return to his normal state; the emptiness he had kept hidden suddenly exposed and raw.
So, I liked it, overall. If you can make me write this much for a one-shot, then you did what I expect from a story. You made me question, think, compare and ultimately, enjoy. Well done.
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December 17, 2012 at 12:00 AM
so sweet. i reakon youve got byakua personality down pat. love to read more
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December 17, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Mmmm. Shunsui...
I don't put him with Byakuya simply because of the reasons Bya gave. They're incompatible, at least for a long term thing. Poor Bya would be in constant irritation mode, wondering what he ever saw in the man. Until they kissed again. Yeah, you could pair anyone up with Shun if its based solely on a kiss. I think you did a good job portraying Shunsui. Byakuya, not as good as some other stories. Hard to pinpoint, just a feeling. The mood was conveyed well, and even though I don't put the two together, I was left wondering how they would get together again. You sure like to toy with Byakuya, don't you? String him along, frustrate him, make him yearn. Anyway, can't wait to see what your other pairings will be.
I don't put him with Byakuya simply because of the reasons Bya gave. They're incompatible, at least for a long term thing. Poor Bya would be in constant irritation mode, wondering what he ever saw in the man. Until they kissed again. Yeah, you could pair anyone up with Shun if its based solely on a kiss. I think you did a good job portraying Shunsui. Byakuya, not as good as some other stories. Hard to pinpoint, just a feeling. The mood was conveyed well, and even though I don't put the two together, I was left wondering how they would get together again. You sure like to toy with Byakuya, don't you? String him along, frustrate him, make him yearn. Anyway, can't wait to see what your other pairings will be.