Unrequited love

I do not own Bleach, Bleach is the property of Kubo. Toushirou is his creation, not mine. Events in this fan fiction do not occur in the arcs of Bleach I make no money off of this story.


Toushirou sighed, digging out the change to pay the front attendant. It was a nightly ritual of late, get off work and come down to the bathhouses to relax. It was more expensive than the bathhouses that the lower ranking shinigami went to but he thought the extra cost was worth it. This bathhouse had a sauna and other special features that were worth the extra money. Today he paid twice as much as he usually paid to enter. He was going to use the ‘special’ room today. He usually didn’t spring for more than the sauna and the baths but today had been particularly stressful.

He pushed the noren aside with the back of his hand and walked into the bathhouse, the hot humid air assaulting his senses at once. He liked the heat though, outside the first chill of winter was setting in and while he liked the weather colder it did sink into the bone after a while. He took off his tabi and carefully placed them into the cubby hole. Stepping up out of the entry way he ignored the boisterous laughing that was coming from one side of the room. Apparently one of their numbers had just lost some sort of inane bet. He placed his bathhouse things into a free locker and stripped from his captain’s jacket and shinigami apparel. Despite the almost annoying level of noise coming from the other men, he grinned. It was the sort of background noise he liked to hear in the bathhouse, maybe he would run into someone he knew and he could tell a few lewd jokes and get involved in a conversation that did not end or begin with the exclamative “MATSUMOTO!!!!”

The warm air felt good now that he was naked and he sighed already starting to feel relaxed. He walked boldly off through the doors into the baths the trip to the special room would come latter. Right now he wanted to soak the chill out of his bones. He picked up a bowl to put his shampoo, conditioner, soap and other hygiene things into. At the stack he looked up and smiled, one of the other regular visitors to the bathhouse smiled back at him. “Oi, Ren, see Byakuya let you off early for once.” It was a bathhouse, not the office. Toushirou always made a point to be informal here.

“Yeah, about time, right? I’ve been working overtime for two months straight now. I thought I was going to go bug shit if I had to work another week like that, but I guess the extra money I made off of all that work was nice.” Renji picked up a bucket too going back towards Toushirou’s locker, apparently Renji had gotten a locker right next to the small taichou’s. He opened it and took out his bath things and put them into the bin, “Sit next to me? I’ll scrub your back for you Shirou kun.” He said with a grin. Whenever they ran into each other in the showers they often did such things.

“Yes, I think I would enjoy that. Matsumoto was SO annoying today. You would not BELIEVE what she claimed today.” He rolled his eyes digging out his wash cloth and tossing it in amongst the pump bottles that populated his own bucket.

“Try to hook you up with Hinamori again?” He asked he had heard all about the continuing drama occurring between those three.

“Yes, she claimed that it couldn’t be good for me not to have sexual relations at my age.” He rolled his eyes. He would have been blushing red if he had to talk about such issues out in public but this was the bath house and what happened here, stayed here.

“Shit, if you don’t want to you don’t have to, you can wait until you’re ready. I waited for the right person…and you know how old I am.” He said opening the sliding door for Shirou. “But I am glad I waited now that I have Ichigo. I have never cared as much for any one as I care for him.”

Toushirou looked up at Renji, noticing the blush. He grinned, “So you’re the bitch of the relationship, I was always wondering about that.” He ribbed Renji, laughing at the look of anger that flashed over the other’s face. Now would come the bragging and further playful banter. It seemed to release a catch that seemed to have been stuck inside of him. Now he could physically feel the stress draining out of him. It brought a brilliant smile to his lips, that was soon echoed on Renji’s face because he knew that this was all playful teasing and not serious.

After a quick scrub from the head down, to include a careful detailed wash of his feet, Shirou washed off and got into the hot spring in the middle of the mist filled room. He sighed and lowered himself into the nearly scalding hot water in degrees, feeling the muscles let go of the tension they had held onto. Renji, who had apparently made a date with Ichigo, had only come for a washing had already rinsed off, sluiced some of the steaming hot spring water over himself and had left. Shirou was alone, eyes closed listening to the conversations around him. There was someone speaking in Kansaiben and it made him think of Gin. The only thing he could think of in the bathhouse that would bring color to his cheeks. Fortunately for him, the hot water had already brought blood into his face and he was sure no one would notice the stirring of his loins. The water was dark brown from the minerals in it.

Just as he was starting to feel light headed and sleepy, he got out of the hot water and went to the pond of water. He used a touch of his spiritual energy to chill the water to the point where ice ringed the rim of the pool before he dunked the dipper in and dumped it over his head. It made him gasp and shiver but he loved the feeling of it and was soon splashing he icy water over the rest of his lobster red flesh. There was nothing quite like following a hot bath with the shock of ice water to purify the mind spirit and the flesh. It even took care of those pesky pimples his teenaged flesh gave birth to from time to time.

When he was done with the cold water he went back to where he had placed his bath things. Gathering them up his thoughts turned back to that silver haired Kansai speaker. Today he had come by to pester him, and as he was supposed to, he shouted at him to behave himself. Gin never acted as he was supposed to in public, but he always seemed so free. Not like he himself, who was always bound by his duty and obligation. His duty that told him that fraternization was wrong, that feeling the way he did for the silver haired man was wrong and that he had the obligation to marry one day and have offspring. He wanted to push those thoughts out of his head, they made him tense. However, he could not think of Gin without those thoughts coming to mind.

He cared for Gin by far more than Hinamori or any other person he was associated with. It was that free nature on top of the good looks that stirred his heart. He put his things into their locker and secured it before he headed up a set of stairs. He was starting to cool off a bit, but the heat in his loins now fired him. He had told Renji that he was stressed about Matsumoto trying to push him to be with a woman he considered only his friend, but the stress was something more of a personal nature than that. The stress had been the hard on that had tented his pants and had made it impossible for him to stand for at least an hour after Gin had left his office.

Toushirou entered one of the privet rooms that were available on the second floor of the bath house. He looked around the familiar surroundings and gave a wistful sort of smile. There was a massage table, for those who wanted to pay for a massage, something which Shirou had never done to date. He didn’t want anyone but Gin to touch him after all…not in that way. Having Renji wash his back wasn’t bad, Renji was a friend.

He ran his fingers over the massage table and went to sit in an overstuffed chair. Before the chair was a kotatsu, set up only in the winter months. Shirou sat under the quilted blanket to warm himself up a bit but more than that he sat there and looked at the adult materials they had spread out like some perverted visual smorgasbord. They had the straight titty mags but they also had the things that he was into, the ones with the hot older guys doing things they shouldn’t. He picked one of them up and rifled through it. He was nervous, but he was always nervous when he paid for such services. He couldn’t put it off or he’d end the day in just as foul of a mood as he had finished his work day in.

He got up, tossing the porn magazine back amongst the pile of its siblings. He went to the far wall and pressed a red button. There was a soft whooshing sound a hole in the wall opened up. He took himself in hand and groaned, he was semi hard already and that was just from remembering the silver haired Taichou. He pressed his need through the hole and gasped as soft cool lips pressed against the head of his shaft almost at once. All thoughts of embarrassment and what he was doing flew from his head then.

It was the guy from last time and the time before that. It seemed as if he always got the same guy every single time. It could just be his imagination but those cool soft lips…the way he always greeted him with a passionate kiss followed by that cool tongue snaking out to taste him. He groaned and rested his forehead against the wall. When you couldn’t see the one who was doing such fantastic things to you, your senses completely take over and Shirou let his eye slip close and his nerve endings tell him what the person on the other side of the wall was doing.

The tongue slid up the underside of his shaft, taking its time, moving almost like an inch worm over his hot skin. It was almost too slow but just as Shirou was thinking of bucking to remind the other he was supposed to be pleasuring him, not torturing him that tongue retreated to the tip of him again and started to circle there. In his mind’s eye he could almost hear Gin’s teasing laugh as he pulled back and looked up at him with those unnaturally blue eyes. He would only open his eyes for him…he had decided that a long time ago.

“Nnng…” He gasped out, clapping a hand over his mouth. Delicate fingers had wrapped around his base, teasing him while his mind had wondered off to that hot image of Gin kneeling before him. He bucked his hips without thought and again he almost heard that soft teasing laughter, ‘eager aren’t we?’ He nodded even thought the voice was only in his fantasy. He bucked again before he could stop himself.

He was too eager.

However, following his over eager thrusting the mouth stopped teasing him and sucked in his head, tongue dancing and swirling around it. The pressure that mouth applied faltered and the coolness of tongue and mouth left him, breathe ghosting over his heated flesh making him shiver and whimper. Whoever was behind the wall tonight felt like teasing him into madness, I seemed. He was starting not to care.

Fisting a hand into his own hair he looked down at his own length as he thrust in an out of the hole getting teasing licks and touches from those slender fingers. When had he started to buck like some desperate horny teen again? The teasing alone may drive him insane before he could get what he came here for, if this loss of control was any gage to go by. Would Gin tease him like this? He wondered, taking a shaky breath focusing on controlling his raging desires, he would not act like some whore for the teasing bastard. He was instantly rewarded by the mouth sucking him down to nearly the base…if only this damned wall was not in the way. He could have the other’s nose buried in his white fluff of pubic hair. That would be so hot. He throbbed at the thought of Gin’s nose buried in his crotch, throat muscles working around him the way the guy’s own were working him…milking him.

“More…” He whined, voice husky with lust. “Shit,” he pulled back sure that the man back there needed air. Toushirou didn’t get what he wanted right away, that mouth seemed to hesitate. Then he realized he had spoken for the first time sense he started to come here and he was sure that whoever was back there recognized his voice. He was so sure that panic turned his veins to ice before reason and logic took over and scolded him for a fool. If he believed that some whore at a soap land would recognize his voice, he really was a fool. He relaxed, resting his forehead back against the wall again, trembling with relief and desperate need.

The mouth came back to life, tongue traveling fast up and down his length, mouth taking him in, sucking him down, bobbing up and down. There was no more teasing, that mouth meant business now and when that mouth sucked him all the way down again, Shirou decided that it didn’t matter. He had heard his voice once already, saying more wouldn’t hurt. “Suck me hard…” He growled starting to thrust into that mouth for a third time. Every inch of him trembled, sweat beaded on his for head, “Get me off Gin.”

Again that mouth seemed to pause but this time Toushirou didn’t notice. There was something hot about uttering the name of the man he fantasized about. It helped the man on the other side of the wall become Gin, and just thinking about Gin back there, doing these things to him made him loose his mind. He clawed at the wall, knees trembling to keep him up.

Lick, suck, pull back to lap up the pre that was surely starting to gather at the tip of him and dribble down his length. Those sharp teeth latched onto the loose bit of flesh that ran from his length to his balls and gave it a playful nip. It had hurt but felt so good in a dirty way that made Shirou cry out for Gin to do it again. This time lips drew out the bit of flesh and let it spring back before they moved up to lock around the head of him, surely becoming slick with his mess. Now the hand had joined in, stroking him hard and fast, drawing him right to the brink of orgasm before they let him go, tickling the base of him.

He was a wreck.

“C’mon…for fuck…sake,” He gasped out, only getting teasing licks. He had been so damned close and now…letting him calm down like this, back off from the edge. What was he doing to him, “Giiiinnnnn” His voice was too whiny for his liking and when he was back in his right mind he was sure he would be disgusted with himself but for the time being he would have sold his sword, hell he would have given up his captain’s seat just to cum.

He got a squeeze and a lick, it felt like an apology. After another teasing pause the mouth slurped him down to the base again, muscles clamping down around his head. Shirou sobbed, head actually banging against the wall in his frustration. So…god…damned close!

“Gin,” He gasped out, that hot mouth had slid all the way back up to the head of him, hand trailing, squeezing him; stroking him. His body had had enough, when the man on the other side of the wall flicked his tongue roughly over the slit of his cock he gave a jutteral cry and came. He wasn’t sure if the man drank his down or if he let his cream dribble down his chin or even if he pulled back to let Shirou make a mess all over his face…it didn’t matter to him. With orgasm came the clarity of thought that had eluded him during the entirety of the tryst. This wasn’t Gin…and it never would be. His body may be sated, his lust may be quenched but his longing would never leave him and the thought brought tears to his eyes.

He pulled his softening manhood out of opening and hit the red button again, tears splashing down his flushed cheeks. He growled at himself for this new found weakness and forced the tear away. He would not cry, it was his duty and sometimes duty was as heavy as a mountain but he would not fold under it. He left the room, promising himself that he would never come back here. It had been a lark, a way to ease his jangled nerves but if he were to start crying like this…to start desiring the end to his duty and obligation…than it was a poison that he did not need in his life.

He closed the door on that pat of himself and on that part of his life and never looked back.