Dark Side of the Moon

For seventhSINwrath
Alasse Telrunya and mayablackwolf, I looking at my list and realized that I don’t have a pairing or anything written down for you for answering the question right in Never Fade Away. If you want anything specific, please include it in a review or PM.
This three shot if for seventhSINwrath.
Summery: This is an Ero-Shiro Uke-Ichi Ero-Ken threesome for those who wanted it. Kenpachi is friends with Ichigo. Shirosaki is friends with Ichigo. Kenpachi and Shirosaki are not friends. Ichigo attempts to get them to be friendly and they end up teaming together to get Ichigo’s heart. ShirosakixIchigoxKenpachi. Shirosaki and Kenpachi do NOT have a sexual relationship.
Perverts and Ignorance: Part 1/3
“I don’t know why you don’t like him.” Ichigo huffed.
Shirosaki rolled his eyes. “I just don’t. That bastard is all muscle and no brains.”
Ichigo snorted. “Like you would know, you haven’t even talked to him long enough to find out.”
“Can he even talk? Or is it just pointing and grunting.”
“Shiro!” Ichigo exclaimed and smacked him in the back of his head.
“Just teasing Ichi.. But you know Zaraki hates me as much as I hate him.”
“I know. Which is why you guys are going to learn to get along.”
Shirosaki eyed him warily. “How do you plan to do that?”
“Both of you are coming over tomorrow to watch videos.”
“Ahh…Ichi!” Shirosaki protested with a pout.
“Nope. You’re coming. Kenpachi has already agreed, since he know how much it means to me.”
“…Fine…”
Ichigo smiled lightly and threw his arms around Shirosaki’s shoulders. “Thanks Shiro!”
Shirosaki didn’t really have anything against Kenpachi. It was just that he distracted Ichigo from seeing Shirosaki’s obvious affections. It didn’t help that Shirosaki suspected that Kenpachi felt the same way about Ichigo that Shirosaki did. Even now Ichigo was going off to call Kenpachi. But maybe it would be better if they all hung out. Then he could show Ichigo how amazing he was compared to Kenpachi.
With Ichigo on the phone…
“Hey Kenpachi.”
“Strawberry.”
“I told you not to call me that.”
“Hn.”
“Anyways, I just wanted to call to tell you that you’re coming over to watch videos with me and Shirosaki.”
“Shirosaki.” Kenpachi growled with evident hate.
“No arguments. Shirosaki has already agreed because he knows how much it means to me.”
“…Fine…”
“You two really are a lot alike sometimes.”
“Whatever.”
“Maybe that’s why you don’t get along.”
“We don’t get along because he’s a fucking weakling.”
“Hey! He’s not a weakling, he beats me in a fight.”
“Whatever.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’m going to go take a shower. See you tomorrow at 6.”
“Bye, Ichi-Berry.”
“Bye Ken-Chan.”
Kenpachi fought not to drool as he pictured Ichigo taking a shower. Damn. Too bad Shirosaki would be there tomorrow. Kenpachi hated that little shit. Always with that smug look on his face. And he continuously got in the way of Kenpachi’s plans for seducing Ichigo. If Ichigo wasn’t so oblivious, than it wouldn’t be so fucking hard. But Strawberry remained ignorant of Kenpachi’s AND Shirosaki’s feelings for him. But that was going to change. Kenpachi didn’t like many people so Ichigo was very special indeed, to catch Kenpachi’s eye romantically.
The next night at Ichigo’s…
Kenpachi was already at Ichigo’s and they were just waiting for Shirosaki. Kenpachi had been sweet enough to get some alcohol before he came, which would save them a trip later. Shirosaki arrived soon after with a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates which, he said, were for not being understanding about Ichigo’s friendship with Kenpachi. But Kenpachi knew better. Sly Shirosaki. Very sly.
Ichigo ended up sandwiched between Shirosaki and Kenpachi on the couch. Kenpachi were currently having a glaring match over Ichigo’s head while they hit on Ichigo. No matter what they did, Ichigo remained idiotically ignorant. They all had a few drinks, enough to get them slightly buzzed but nowhere near drunk. Right now Kenpachi had his arm around Ichigo’s shoulder and was indiscreetly sniffing Ichigo’s hair. Shirosaki had his hand on Ichigo’s thigh and was gripping Ichigo’s leg precariously close to his cock. And yet Ichigo remained oblivious. It was driving the other two men mad.
In Shirosaki’s head the gears were spinning. Individually both Kenpachi and himself were not getting through to Ichigo. And he had discovered that Kenpachi wasn’t exactly disagreeable, it was just his love for Ichigo that put Shirosaki off of him. So maybe they could work together to get Ichigo. He didn’t mind sharing Ichigo with Kenpachi as long as he was with Ichigo as well. Kenpachi could also help keep other wanna be suitors away. They could take shifts! Shirosaki giggled inside his head. He glanced over at Kenpachi. He didn’t see why Ichigo would be attracted to the brute, but as long as Ichigo was happy, Shirosaki was happy…As long as Ichigo was also happy with Shirosaki. Of course.
Now he just had to talk to Kenpachi about this new arrangement.
LINE
And so it begins. I know this is not a typical ShirosakixIchigo fic, so I would really appreciate your input.