Seireitei Monogatari
#11: Of Love's Bestowing
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Title: Of Love’s
Bestowing
Characters/Pairings:
Byakuya/Yoruichi (one-sided), Byakuya/Jyuushiro, Byakuya/Hisana, Byakuya/Renji
Rating: T
Warnings: OOC, Male/Male
kiss, spoilers for Byakuya’s back-story
Words: 1278
Description: Byakuya has
been in love four times.
His first love was Shihouin
Yoruichi.
She was everything his
stifled, caged existence was not. Yoruichi was carefree and fun with an
ever-present and rather mischievous smile. She always laughed, enjoying life in
a way that he had never been allowed, and he envied her more than even he cared
to admit.
He loved her dark skin,
which reminded him of the smooth chocolate he secretly coveted when he thought
no one was looking. And Yoruichi’s eyes shone with a hint of amber-hued
awareness, as if she already knew everything before he did.
Yoruichi had always ruffled
his hair, pinched his cheeks, and chirped nonsense at him. She had called him
cute pet names that made his lips twist into a scowl, all the while beaming
with happiness on the inside, and she had forever goaded him to play tag. Yet,
he had never been able to catch her, not even now.
However, Yoruichi had
disappeared from Seireitei before he could ever confess, though he suspected
she had already known. Sometimes, he imagined he still could hear her laughter
echoing in the sakura blossoms, and something like happiness and longing
tingled in his belly, in spite of the fact she had left him for that fool
Urahara.
His second love was a man,
which had surprised him at first. Yet, what was there not to like about Ukitake
Jyuushiro? No one could hate the kind man, who
always had a smile for everyone. He was Byakuya’s senpai, and from the moment
he had met the white-haired man, Byakuya had felt something jump sharply in his
chest.
Jyuushiro was beautiful, and
that had been the first thing Byakuya had noticed. When introduced to the
oldest son of an aristocrat family, he had been struck by the graceful
gentleness in the man’s dark eyes. For the first time, Byakuya had felt nervous
at a meeting, jittery, his palms sweating and his knees shaking.
The older shinigami had
simply beamed at him, patting him companionably on the shoulder. The man had
promised to look after him, to take care of him, and unlike so many of
Byakuya’s other caretakers and associates, Jyuushiro had always kept his
promises.
It had taken him a while to
work up the nerve to confess, and Byakuya could tell at a glance that he had
taken the other man by surprise. He was certain that Jyuushiro received love
confessions at least one a day, but still, he had hoped that his own would be
something special.
Waiting there with bated
breath, something like hope fluttering in his heart, had been one of the
longest times of his rather short life. For a startling and wonderful minute,
Byakuya had almost believed that his senpai returned his feelings, especially
with the way Jyuushiro had stared at him. The man’s eyes had swirled with some
nameless emotion, their dark depths glittering strangely.
However, the moment had
passed all too quickly. Jyuushiro had reached out, squeezing him on the
shoulder more tightly than he ever had before, giving that same gentle smile.
Yet, it had somehow been saddened, bittersweet, and in that instant, Byakuya
had known what was to come. He had barely listened to whatever the older
shinigami had said next, and even now he could only faintly recall Jyuushiro’s
words, something about age differences and having his whole life to find his
true love.
It had been easier from then
on to keep a more impassive facade around Jyuushiro, even when he received
smiles that seemed secretively sweeter for him than everyone else. They were
even more special than the ones reserved for Kyouraku.
Perhaps the true love that
Jyuushiro had spoken of was Hisana, or at least, that was what Byakuya had
wanted to believe. For him, it was a tingling, maybe even love, from the
outset. For her, it was mere joy at the thought of leaving the horrors of
Rukongai. He had married her, despite the fact that she was a commoner, defying
the elders of his clan.
And yet, she had always been
lukewarm to him. Her heart hadn’t shone in her eyes when she had gazed at him,
not like his had for her. Her smiles had been empty, her touch cold, like ice.
Though it had hurt, he simply could not let her go. While his heart had
thrummed and his eyes had softened for her, it had been with the startling and
aching knowledge that she had appreciated him at the most and respected him at
the least.
Nevertheless, Hisana was his
third love, the only one who had ever even given him the chance. Not even
playful Yoruichi or kind Jyuushiro had been willing to do that much.
Byakuya had thought that
after her death his heart would forever be a solid block of ice and stone, one
that would never crack. Years of rejection, of learning to deal with the loss
and impossible, unrequited love had made him… well, loveless. He was composed
and cool and locked inside, all notions of romance and yearning lost to the wind
as foolish improbabilities.
He had been unprepared for
the furious fire of a stray dog, one that took form in his cocky and brash
vice-captain.
Renji was everything Byakuya had never known he wanted and nothing he had ever
expected. The Kuchiki head didn’t believe he would ever feel anything again,
content to keep everyone at a safe distance and far from reaching for his
carefully protected heart. Yet, something in his newly appointed vice-captain
called to him.
The boy was annoying and
loud, determined to reach the stars, despite his complete lack of wings. And in
his scarlet eyes, there was such a vigor for life, one that Byakuya knew he had
lost long ago if he had ever even had it at all.
Renji was common and low. He
was young, noisy, and full of ideals. Yet, Byakuya wanted nothing more than to
rip off that tie and bury his hands in dark crimson strands. He wanted to mark
skin with his own teeth and to silence the nonsense words with his lips. The
plain need that he felt when he looked at Renji surprised even himself.
In
spite of all that, Byakuya never said anything; he never made a single move. He
watched. He imagined. He pretended… but he never acted, like always. For all
his courage, Byakuya was a coward on the inside.
He
had been brave once, and look what it had gotten him. A childhood friend who
had abandoned him, who had always loved someone else more. A senpai who had
simply smiled, pity and wordless apologies forever shimmering in his eyes. A
wife who had used him, who had never even cared for him at all.
So
when Renji had grabbed him one day for no reason, pulling him across his desk
and scattering the paperwork to the floor, Byakuya had been shocked. He had
been perplexed. Still, it hadn’t shown; above all, noblemen did not display emotion.
Nevertheless,
his eyes had widened, and a small gasp had escaped his mouth when Renji had
growled in his throat, suddenly kissing him as if nothing else mattered in the
world. There had been passion; there had been warmth. There had been
else had ever returned, and he had instantly melted, a part of him cracking
deep inside.
He
had returned the embrace, forgetting about the paperwork and his duties and
decorum. He finally,
his grasp.
Byakuya
just never would have guessed that his fourth and final love would be Abarai
Renji.
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A/N: Thanks everyone for
your continuous support. Please leave a review before you go and let me know
how I’m doing.
-
BrucesGirl: I do so love a
good Chad/Ichigo and had been itching to write one for them. When this prompt
came along, I knew exactly who to aim it towards. And did I mention how much I
adore your Byakuya/Ichigo? Yum. I’m glad you like them, especially since
they are my first attempt at a dive into the Bleach fandom. Thanks!!