Doomed From the Start

Warning!: If you haven't read my In This Twilight fic, this one won't make any sense.

It can be found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3369343/1/In_This_Twilight

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Renaissance
Theme #5: Seeking for You
By Renegade Raine

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It had been a month since he reached his destination and Grimmjow was still convinced that going on an impromptu trip to France was the most moronic decision he had made in his life. He had come to the country, hoping to try to piece together the fragments of memory from another life he had. However the results so far were far from helpful.

It seemed like everyone in the country could speak French, and that was a problem, as Grimmjow only understood Japanese, a little bit of English, and Spanish (although he still had no idea as to why he had such an easy time learning the language). He had tried showing some people a picture of the girl that resembled the female in his old memories, but everyone would either not know what he was talking about or would think he was talking about the model from his hometown. Although she did resemble the person he was looking for, he somehow knew that it wasn’t her.

He supposed though that he had nothing to lose by traveling to a different country. His life sure as hell wasn’t going anywhere in Karakura Town, so it was better that he got away from that place. And although he hated the people in France, he had to admit that they made really tasty food. It was certainly more appetizing from what he remembered eating with that woman, even if he found that he had a mysterious craving for her weird concoctions.

Sometimes he wondered if it was wise to pursue something that seemed unattainable, but he continued to search everyday. He would search an entire town each day, although if it were a bigger town, like Paris, he would spend several days searching before moving on. Every once in a while, he’d run into some moron who would say a lewd comment in French, which he wouldn’t understand. But when some would make gestures that even Grimmjow understood, he was often kicked out of whatever establishment he was in, or sometimes even escorted out by the local police, as he would often have the very sorry jackass just barely hanging on to the last threads of their life.

As the days passed by, it became more and more obvious that the woman that Grimmjow was searching for was not anywhere in France, or perhaps anywhere else in the world. He would not let the matter rest in his head though, because the last and only dream he had in Karakura Town seemed far too real to ignore. Plus, he was never the kind to make things out of his imagination, thus Grimmjow was sure that the other memories that he had must have amounted to something significant for him at least. That’s why he continued to search for the mysterious woman, as he felt she was the missing link to finding the reason as to why he seemingly didn’t mind living in the shitty world that he was currently living in now.

Unbeknownst to Grimmjow though, the very woman that he had been searching for the entire time was watching him from her post very far away from the human world. If she were still just a regular human, the work would be exhausting, as she was always the kind to listen to the pleas of others and try to make everyone happy. However she found that the latter was impossible, as many people’s desires constantly contradicted each other’s. However, she was able to get over her initial stress by assigning her Shun Shun Rikka to run certain aspects of life on Earth.

With much more free time granted to her, she had more time to watch over the people below her. She remembered when she thought that being God would be like playing a game of The Sims. However, she quickly found out that not even she had control over life. She was more like an architect, designing things she hoped would help life. However, she was glad that was the case, as watching people evolve was always so interesting to her. It made her happy that everyone she knew in her life had achieved their dream, or happiness at least, without having to make a lot of adjustments to their lives.

However, the person she watched the most was seemingly the only person that she knew was having a horrible life. On one hand, she wanted to help him in any way that she could, as she felt bad to watch someone she cared about to suffer so much. On the other hand though, she knew that it would not be fair to everyone else if she were to give Grimmjow so much special attention. All she decided that she could do was watch him and hope that his life would get better. Although she tried to hide her feelings from her Shun Shun Rikka, they knew that she was having some sort of anxiety, and judging from whom she constantly watched over, it wasn’t hard for them to figure out why she was so distressed.

“Are you going to do anything about him?” Shun’o asked out of the blue one day.

“It’s not my place to interfere with his life.” Orihime sighed.

“But Orihime…he’s looking all over France for you!” Shun’o exclaimed. “Don’t you think you should do something?”

“He’ll stop looking eventually.” Orihime answered. “Then maybe he can find a purpose to his life.”

“I’m not so sure about that…” Shun’o commented. “He seems pretty intent on finding you.”

“I’ve already done too much by entering his dream.” Orihime mumbled.

“Yes, you did.” Shun’o said. “And now you should be the one to straighten out the matter. Do you really want him to search for something that doesn’t exist in the world for the rest of his life?”

“No…” Orihime said as she looked to the ground. “You’re right, I should straighten out the matter. Perhaps it would be best to erase all of his memories of myself.”

“Orihime, are you sure you want to do that?” Shun’o asked. “Even if he wouldn’t be aware of it, it’s still kind of cruel.”

“I know, but it would be for the best.” Orihime said with a melancholy tone. “Besides, I’ll go see him one more time before I do it.”

“Do you really want him to forget you?” Shun’o asked with a concerned look.

“No.” Orihime said after hesitating a couple of moments. She then looked across at her screen at Grimmjow before sighing. “But it’s something I must do.”

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As Orihime walked into a cheap, dark hotel room, she had a sense of déjà vu when she looked upon Grimmjow’s sleeping form. This visit to Grimmjow though was drastically different from her visit to Ichigo’s room several years ago. For one, she wasn’t as flustered to enter a guy’s room as she was back then. Two, Grimmjow didn’t seem to have any physical injuries that needed healing. Lastly, Orihime fully intended on having Grimmjow awake as she said goodbye to him.

She approached the bed, but paused to look at Grimmjow’s expression while he slept. She couldn’t help smiling, as it seemed that even while sleeping, Grimmjow still had his brows furrowed in a way that made him look slightly grouchy. After a few moments, she sat down on an unoccupied spot of the bed and hesitated as she looked down at his left hand, the same that she had healed in his previous life.

She knew that he was not the kind of person who would ordinarily do the little things that most lovers would do, but she disregarded that fact as she raked her fingers with his. Grimmjow twitched a little, before suddenly jolting his eyes open, sitting up, and immediately put his hand around her neck.

“Is that how you greet everyone?!” Orihime said with a slight frown. Grimmjow blinked a couple of times before his eyes went wide with recognition and immediately removed his hand from her neck.

“Gut reaction.” Grimmjow explained. “How the fuck did you find me anyways?”

“I know…a lot of things.” Orihime said with some thought.

“That didn’t answer my question.” Grimmjow said flatly. “Okay, then where the hell were you?”

“Very far away.” Orihime immediately responded, to which Grimmjow grimaced.

“Okay, these vague answers are pissing me off!” Grimmjow growled. “I know you know something about me that even I have no clue about. The least you can do is tell me what the fuck is up with my memories, since I’ve looked just about everywhere in this god damned country for you!”

“It was…another life.” Orihime answered.

“I figured that much out.” Grimmjow said with a roll of his eyes. “What I want to know is what the fuck I did in that life.”

“I…I can’t tell you.” Orihime stuttered.

“Why the fuck not? My life now is a god damned waste, but when I got those other memories, I felt like my life had some kind of purpose. I want to know why the fuck I feel that way!” Grimmjow seethed.

Feeling bad about being responsible for his life, Orihime looked down at the bed for a moment before looking back up into his blue eyes. Raising her hand a little, Orihime figured that she was going to be erasing all of his previous memories anyways as she gave Grimmjow his full memory of his former life. After processing all of the information, he sat quietly for a moment before finally looking over at Orihime.

“So who the hell are you?” Grimmjow asked.

“I thought that your memories would cover that but my name is-” Orihime started, but was cut off by a shake of Grimmjow’s head.

“Orihime, I know.” Grimmjow said. “I mean, what the hell are you? If you can remember a life before this one and do crazy shit like restoring memories, you’re not an ordinary human.”

“I was, once. But after you died…I obtained the powers of God and basically pressed the reset button on the world!” Orihime explained.

“So wait…what you’re telling me…is that you’re God?!” Grimmjow said in disbelief.

“Well, I like being modest…but I guess so.” Orihime replied as she scratched the back of her head. Grimmjow continued to stare at her for a couple of seconds before a wide grin slowly formed on his face. He then leaned against the headboard and pulled Orihime closer to him.

“So is sex better as a God?” Grimmjow leered. When Orihime looked dumbfounded by his change of attitude, he pulled her even closer. “Wanna find out?”

“I don’t think this is the time for that kind of thing!” Orihime exclaimed and visibly blushed.

“Why not? We did it dozens of times before, didn’t we?” Grimmjow said with a raise of an eyebrow.

“That’s not the point!” Orihime sputtered, but then quickly regained her composure and looked down at him wistfully. “I came to say goodbye.”

“Where the fuck are you going?” Grimmjow asked, his former grin slowly turning into a scowl.

“I can’t stay here.” Orihime said. “I wish I could, but I have to watch over everyone else.”

“Screw that. Give the job to someone else!” Grimmjow argued.

“I can’t! I’m the only one who can do it!” Orihime countered.

“I didn’t die for you, only to have you leave me like an abandoned fuckin’ cat as soon as you didn’t need me anymore!” Grimmjow yelled. “If you can’t stay here, then take me with you and get me out of this shit hole of a world!”

Frustrated, Grimmjow finally grabbed the back of Orihime’s head and brought it close enough to forcibly kiss her. However, she didn’t resist for long as she deepened the kiss shortly after. When she felt his hand on her waist though, and felt it slowly going up her body, she pulled away before they could get too carried away.

“I can’t take you with me, I’m sorry.” Orihime said as she stood by the bed. “You’re still alive. Only those who have left their human life can enter my dimension.”

“Then kill me.” Grimmjow said with a surprising lack of emotion.

“I can’t do that.” Orihime said. “I can’t watch you die twice!”

“Even in my past existence, my life had more meaning after I became a Hollow and later, an Arrancar. I don’t care how you do it, just kill me and get it fucking over with.”

“I’ve…gotta go. But I promise that it will get better for you soon!” Orihime said with some hesitation. “You won’t even remember what misery is like!”

“Don’t you fuckin’ leave me.” Grimmjow muttered. Orihime turned around to look at him one final time.

“Farewell…Grimmjow.” She said quietly before turning around and successfully hiding the tears from him that fell down her face. A moment later, the entire room was engulfed in a yellow light as she opened the door and didn’t turn back.

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Grimmjow fluttered his eyes open as he looked up at the white ceiling. He quickly scanned his surroundings and noted that all the other sparse furnishings in the room were just as plain. He had just woke up, but for some reason, he already felt a strange sense of loneliness.

He turned his head over to one side and immediately had to shield his eyes from the bright light. Apparently he had forgotten to shut the curtains the night before. He turned his head back to its original position and sighed. When he felt a foreign sensation through his hair though, he jerked his head up. His expression then lightened slightly.

“You didn’t leave?” Grimmjow asked.

“I couldn’t.” Orihime answered. “I couldn’t stand the thought of having the last person who remembered me to forget I ever existed. I guess I’m still weak in that aspect…”

Grimmjow shifted a little and climbed over Orihime. He brought his lips down to Orihime’s and silenced her with his tongue. She readily accepted him by wrapping an arm around the back of his neck to deepen the kiss. Although neither needed to come up for air, Grimmjow pulled away after a couple of minutes.

“So is this what they call heaven?” Grimmjow asked.

“I guess that’s what most people call it.” Orihime confirmed.

“There’s a lot of fucking white. It hurts my eyes.” Grimmjow complained.

“I made it so you would come here instead of Soul Society, so quit complaining!” Orihime scoffed. “Besides, you can paint the room blue if you really want. It’s not like it’s a requirement for it to be white around here.”

“Che. That’ll have to wait.” Grimmjow commented and grinned deviously. “After all, I’m still intent on seeing what sex is like on God mode.”

“Pervert.” Orihime groaned, but yet she didn’t lift a finger as Grimmjow’s mouth went down her neck. Perhaps Grimmjow’s life would have been better if she hadn’t interfered at all, or perhaps it would have stayed as an undesirable life, Orihime wasn’t sure.

It was funny that when she was a fifteen-year-old human, she had her own ideas of the future. She had sworn to love Ichigo in five different lifetimes, instead though she had not only fallen in love with the enemy at that time, but also an entirely different species.

Although he was brash and often not pleasant to be around, when she saw the pleading look in his eyes when she threatened to leave, she knew that he loved her too, even if she knew he would never be the type to say that out loud.

She now felt a sense of completion. Her friends were successful and happy, no one would ever have to fear Aizen anymore, and as she looked up at Grimmjow staring down at her lustfully, she knew that she had finally figured out how to make him happy. And even if it might have been a selfish thought, Orihime was glad that she would never be lonely again.

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Author’s Notes

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To those of you confused, I had Spanish be one of the languages that Grimmjow understood, since pretty much everything in Las Noches (including Las Noches itself) is named in Spanish, so you’d figure that Grimmjow would be fluent in it just by knowing the names of everything. Even if the thought of Grimmjow speaking it fluently is somehow hilarious to me. XD

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I’m in search of a back-up beta to pick out my typos and/or other grammatical errors. If anyone is interested, let me know!