Doomed From the Start

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Somewhat Damaged
Theme #18: Lost You Forever
By Renegade Raine

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Thought he had it all before they called his bluff
Found out that his skin just wasn’t thick enough
Wanted to go back to how it was before
Thought he lost everything
Then he lost a whole lot more

“I’m Looking Forward to Joining You, Finally” – Nine Inch Nails

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It was suspicious enough when Grimmjow opened the door and found that it was so quiet, that he could hear the creak of the door echoing inside the room. When he stepped inside though, a chill ran through his body, which stopped him dead in his tracks. He focused his energy, but he still could not sense any hint of the woman anywhere in Los Noches. He then stormed out of the room, into the halls. Almost as if he was anticipating his reaction, Ulquiorra watched as Grimmjow glare at him with feral eyes. In rage, Grimmjow grabbed the collar of his coat, not thinking nor caring about any possible repercussions from the action.

“Where is she?” Grimmjow yelled.

“I assume you mean Orihime Inoue,” Ulquiorra stated, and then closed his eyes in annoyance. “I suppose that since you were sent on a mission, you would have no knowledge about her escape.”

“Escaped?!” Grimmjow spat. “What the fuck, Ulquiorra?! Did you sleep on the job or what?!”

“She escaped while I was dispatching the enemy and also killed Yammy in the process. If you find her, she’s considered hostile and is to be killed on sight.” Ulquiorra droned.

Grimmjow gritted his teeth as he let go of Ulquiorra’s collar and swiftly turned around. Ulquiorra seemed unfazed as he straightened his collar and watched Grimmjow with cold eyes.

“God damn it.” Grimmjow muttered, knowing that he was the reason why she ran away. He didn’t want her disappearance to have as much of an effect on his as it was, at that moment, so he tried to tell himself that he was only angry because he would probably be sent on some search and destroy mission for a woman that couldn’t even put up a decent fight.

However, he knew that was a lie as anger was not the only emotion that rippled through his body. He would deny it if anyone ever made any accusations of it, but somewhere in his lifeless body, the mixture of regret, anxiety, and feelings of betrayal made him absolutely sick to his stomach. Even if he felt that Orihime forsaken him though, it was his fault, as Grimmjow knew that he shouldn’t have even had anything to do with her in the first place.

He remembered back when the red headed woman had first tried to talk to him. In his typical arrogant style, he would try to brush her off. No matter what though, Orihime would never get angry with him and instead would continue to try to initiate conversations with him, because she felt that there was more to him than what her first impressions of him told her.

It intrigued her that someone like him, who appeared sadistic and bloodthirsty, would have enough morals to save her from abuse, even if he profusely denied any claims that he did it for her. She would ignore him though, as she wanted to reach out to him, to find out why he acted the way he did.

Their interaction had started innocently enough, as Grimmjow learned far more than he wanted to about Orihime’s past and inner workings. Eventually he caved in too and spoke to the girl about his own life. As the two interacted more, Grimmjow found that Orihime grew bolder, asking him more personal of which he would always answer in some form or another. One day, however, Orihime asked a particularly odd question.


“Can I touch your mask?” Orihime said nervously, scratching the area behind her head. Grimmjow blinked a couple of times before giving her a weird look.

“It’s just fucking bone.” Grimmjow said in an incredulous tone. Orihime, however, was unfazed.

“I don’t care, I’m still curious.” Orihime shrugged. Grimmjow continued to glare at her for a little while longer before he sighed and took a seat on her bed.

“Fine, but don’t you dare tell anyone else about this, or I’ll never hear the end of it.” Grimmjow muttered.

Satisfied, Orihime stepped a few paces ahead and reached out to feel the cold, hard surface of his mask. Grimmjow, meanwhile, glanced at her face, full of wonder, as she concentrated on the texture of the foreign surface. His cerulean eyes then trailed down her well-endowed body as he tried to ignore the fact that her body was all too conveniently placed between his legs. He brought his eyes back up to her face, in an effort to steer his mind away from his lecherous thoughts, but as he noticed the faint blush on her cheeks, he found that it didn’t help at all.

To make matters worse, whether it was on purpose or not, Orihime’s hand slipped past his mask and caused a small area of his skin to tingle upon her contact. He knew then that it was better for him not to get involved with the girl more than he already was, but he thought that he could scare her away from him if he would taste her, even just for one time. He then objected to the suggestion in his mind, however his body betrayed him as he brought his hand up behind her neck, causing Orihime look down at him curiously. He tried once more to control himself, but his desire won over, and instead pushed her head down slightly, so that his lips were able to trail up to capture her own.

While he kissed her, he put his one free hand on her shoulder, wanting his one kiss with her to leave an impression on the girl. However, it was then when she foiled his plans as she actually reciprocated his kiss and even leaned in to feel more of him against her. Noticing that she instinctively moved closer to him, something at the back of Grimmjow’s head told him that he should have stopped there. However, he ignored that voice and instead moved his hand up from Orihime’s neck to the back of her head, threading his long fingers through her tangerine hair as he ran his tongue across Orihime’s bottom lip, silently requesting to be allowed more access. Orihime granted him the permission, opening her mouth slightly to receive his warm tongue.

Slowly, Grimmjow ran his tongue inside her mouth, until it came into contact with Orihime’s tongue. Feeling lightheaded already, Orihime moaned in a barely audible pitch, however the noise did not escape Grimmjow’s ears. Regaining his senses, he pulled away and promptly walked out of the room, not even bothering to give Orihime a departing look. He didn’t have to look back to know that the girl probably conveyed some combination of awe and disappointment on her face, but he told himself that he didn’t care. He didn’t give a shit if she thought he was some cold and heartless bastard, because that’s exactly what he was supposed to be.

He tried to tell himself that it would be the last time he would visit her room, as he had better things to do than act like some god damned high school student going through puberty. However, day after day, he was drawn into that woman’s room, unable to resist the hold his lust had on him. Instead of the usual small talk though, more and more he found that there were better ways to occupy her lips. Some days Grimmjow didn’t even give Orihime a chance to talk, as he would immediately push her against the wall, the bed, or whatever hard surface was nearby, forcing her to submit to both of their desires.

Every time he came into her room, he would feel disgusted with himself afterwards and always left without saying a word, swearing he would have no more to do with the damned woman, feeling that his more carnal desires would push him off the edge, which would in turn cause him to do something he would probably regret later.

When Aizen assigned him the task of invading Karakura Town to fight Ichigo (along with Ulquiorra, who would monitor any and all new developments with Ichigo’s Vaizard abilities.), Grimmjow almost didn’t hate his superior for once. It was perfect. Not only would he be away from the woman, but now he had the perfect chance to kill one of the people that were annoyingly dear to her. By the time he’d come back, Orihime would finally hate him, forcing their interactions to stop.

However, his plans fell apart. Gaining even more power than before, Grimmjow was defeated and was barely saved by Ulquiorra, who had collected enough information to report back to Aizen. Later at a meeting gathered to share their discoveries, Grimmjow seethed in a corner of the throne room while Aizen went over the information. He caught Orihime looking over at him, but instead of the expected anger, he found her glancing over at him sympathetically, which only proved to drive him further into madness.

He didn’t even bother paying attention to his conscious this time as he felt his feet drag him to the girl’s room again. He stood outside of the door a couple of seconds before opening it. He took a couple of steps forward and stared at the back of the occupant of the room, whose back was barely illuminated by the presence of moonlight.

“Grimmjow,” Orihime greeted in a low voice, knowing who was in the room without having to hear him speak. She stared up at the window for a few more moments before turning around to look at him with the same look of concern she gave him at the meeting. “Are you alright?”

“Fucking peachy.” Grimmjow muttered. Orihime, however, didn’t look convinced.

“I was worried about you,” she spoke, blushing slightly. “I couldn’t sleep well, knowing that you could’ve died out there.”

Grimmjow blinked a couple times, not expecting Orihime to be so compassionate toward him when he was fighting someone she at least considered a friend. He didn’t know if it was because she was suffering from a bad case of the Stockholm Syndrome or was just naturally that gentle towards everyone. Either way, he didn’t like it. However, he shook it off with a sinister grin.

“Did you want me to kill that Shinigami bastard?” Grimmjow asked.

“No,” Orihime said, shaking her head slowly. “But I didn’t want you to die either.”

“One of us will have to die sometime,” Grimmjow observed as his grin faded. “And it’s not going to be me.”

Orihime cast her gaze downward, knowing there was nothing she could say to change his mind about his rivalry with Ichigo. Instead, she turned to the side a little, walked a few steps, and sat on her bed.

“I don’t want you to leave again,” her words came out in a barely audible tone. “I feel so…alone when you’re not here.”

Peeved, Grimmjow stomped over to her bed, grabbed the collar of her outfit, and sneered at her.

“I’m not your fucking friend.” Grimmjow growled.

“I know,” Orihime said, seemingly not bothered by his statement. “I don’t expect you to be.”

“Then what the hell do you want from me?” Grimmjow asked. Orihime looked up at his face for a moment, and then sighed.

“Perhaps I should be asking the same question. You were the one who entered my room, after all.” Orihime said, crossing her arms. She knew it wasn’t wise to make statements as bold as that, but she didn’t care. Grimmjow gave her a sour look at first, but then leaned down a little, causing Orihime’s body to tip back a little. Placing his lips over her chin, he roamed up to her ear and gave a smirk.

“I think you damn well know what I want, girl.” he whispered, causing Orihime to tremble slightly. However, she still managed to shyly look up to his piercing gaze.

“Then take it.” Orihime whispered in a hoarse voice.

Needing no further encouragement, Grimmjow pushed Orihime against the mattress and took her lips in a bruising kiss. Although he was being even more aggressive with her than usual, Orihime didn’t care as long as he was with her, helping her alleviate the loneliness she felt. Even if she knew it was wrong, she grabbed the flaps of his coat and pulled him closer to her. Roughly, Grimmjow grabbed the front of her outfit and pulled, which freed some of her skin for his mouth to skim over.

While he suckled the nook of her neck, his hands traveled down, pushing the material off of her body. Although his hands were no stranger to her body, being able to run his calloused hands over her smooth skin with no clothes in his way was definitely a new sensation for him. However, he must have taken too much time reveling in this fact, as Orihime looked down at him with pleading eyes.

“Grimmjow…” she whispered.

Snapping him out of his daze, he bit down on the flesh of her neck, not hard enough to draw blood, but definitely hard enough to leave a mark. Orihime cried out in a mixture of pain and surprise, but when Grimmjow snaked his hands around her back to push her skirt down her legs, she moaned slightly as his hands glided down to her rear to move her groin closer to his. Feeling too impatient to toy with her any further, he pulled his hakama off of his body, tossing it to the floor.

His hands were then back on her skin, gripping her as he rubbed his erection against her wet folds. Orihime inhaled sharply and instinctively opened her legs wider. Misty-eyed already, she looked up to Grimmjow with a flushed face. She didn’t speak a single word, but she didn’t need to, as Grimmjow knew exactly what she wanted him to do just by looking at her. And as much as he didn’t want to admit it, there was something about her expression that made him all too willing to fulfill her silent request.


He grabbed one of her legs with one hand and positioned his erection with the other before pushing himself into her. With her tightness around him, Grimmjow instantly closed his eyes and groaned. Orihime, however, didn’t seem to be enjoying it as much, as tears streamed down her face. Grimmjow noticed this and figured that it was probably from pain, since it was pretty damned obvious that the girl was a virgin.

Thinking that her pain would subside after a while, he continued to thrust into her. However, when the tears continued to trickle down her face a couple of minutes later, Grimmjow started to get a little pissed off. Sure, he might be the god damned Sexta Espada and was infamous for his violent ways, but fucking a crying woman just wasn’t his idea for a good time. He had thought that screwing her would relieve some of his stress, but she was only piling it on him even more. However, the nice thing about sex was that there was more than one position.

He ignored her disappointed glance when he pulled himself out from her.

“Turn over,” he ordered, moving back slightly to give her a little room. When Orihime looked up at him quizzically, Grimmjow gave a small grin. “Do it. You’ll like the way it feels.”

Wiping her tears away with a hand, she obeyed him and turned around, so that her head faced the mattress. A moment later, she felt his hands on her sides, bringing her rear up against his waist. He then removed one of his hands off of her to again adjust his erection while he slid into her folds from behind.

He heard her grunt from the contact, but he took it as a good sign, as she wasn’t crying anymore at least. Both of his hands gripped her waist hard, almost hard enough to leave bruises, while he began to move inside her again. This time though, the only crying he heard out of her was out of pleasure.

“So you do like it that way, huh?” he said huskily before hastening his pace.

Now, even if she wanted to, there was no way that Orihime could cry, as she was too busy attempting to balance herself by desperately trying to grab onto the sheets, although they didn’t do much to level her center of balance at all.

“Grimmjow…” she moaned, but a particularly hard thrust from him caused her to keen loudly, instantly cutting off what she was going to say.

With his thrusts becoming harder and deeper, Orihime’s eyes were again watering up, but it was only because the ecstasy was becoming too much for her inexperienced body. Giving one last cry, she felt her body spasm as she reached her climax. With her vaginal walls tightening around his cock, Grimmjow took a sharp intake of air.

“Fuck, woman…” he said with a groan, releasing himself within her a few moments later.

He took a moment to gather his thoughts before he pulled out of her, and sat down on her bed. After a couple of minutes, Orihime recovered from the high from her orgasm, and also sat up on her bed. When she looked over at Grimmjow though, her combined expression of embarrassment, fear, and regret was enough to make him feel more than a little disgusted with himself. Quickly, he stood up, picked his pants off of the floor, and pulled them back on.

“Grimmjow…please don’t leave me here!” Orihime begged, trying to reach out to him as he adjusted his sash. Grimmjow, however, pushed her hands away.

“I’ve got shit I need to do,” Grimmjow growled and turned around with a sigh. “Next time, I don’t want to see you cry, understand?”

Taken a little back by what he just said, Orihime blinked a couple of times before looking down.

“I understand.”

“Good, because I’m not gonna waste my time with you if you do that shit to me again.” Grimmjow warned before leaving her room.

He swore that it would be the last time he entered her room again, because as much as he hated to admit it to himself, he was starting to get attached to the dumb broad. In a world where all that mattered was power though, he couldn’t afford to allow himself to be brought down by a goddamned woman who had barely reached puberty.

He had already gone too far with her, but he figured that if he distanced himself from her now, eventually the temptation of her body would finally leave him, and everything could go back to normal like it was before. That way, he could enjoy his high rank of power peacefully and never have to worry about anyone using the woman against him.

However, the stress of every day life at Hueco Mundo was too much for him, and his impulsive streak always won over, carrying his feet back to the woman’s room, which almost always led to sex. Sometimes the two would converse for a little while before, if he was in a good mood. However, those times were rare, and more often than not, it didn’t take long before he would pull her in his lap and have his way with her, although she would never object to it.

He told himself that there was no love between them, as it felt more like symbiosis as he used her to relieve his stress and she used him to erase the lonely existence she felt. He thought that he made it clear to the woman that there was nothing between them, but when he entered her room one day and found her frantically searching for something, he sneered at her.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked, tilting his head.

“I lost my necklace! Have you seen one lying around anywhere?” she inquired.

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” Grimmjow answered. “You never wear any jewelry.”

“Well, that’s because I’m afraid that someone will steal it.” Orihime said. “My brother gave it to me when I was younger. He told me that the pendant on it was a charm that would help you if you ever lost your way. It might be silly, but since he’s dead now, it means a lot to me.”

“That’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever head,” Grimmjow said harshly. “Are you telling me that you feel ‘lost’ here? Some fucking necklace isn’t going to help you find your way. Especially one from a dead guy.”

Orihime glanced up at him as the features on her face slowly fell into disappointment. Grimmjow scowled, as the expression irked him. What the hell was she expecting from him anyways?

Feeling too stressed to deal with her shit any further, he grabbed the back of her head and kissed her, hoping that it would make her forget about that stupid necklace. When she didn’t resist his advancements, he continued on, as it again led to sex between the two. However, he noticed that she seemingly wasn’t as into it, as she usually was. He ignored it though, figuring it had to do with her time of the month.

Afterwards, the two again sat on the bed in silence briefly, before Grimmjow got up to put his clothes. When he was about to leave, however, the sound of her voice stopped him.

“Grimmjow?”

“What the hell do you want now?” Grimmjow said with annoyance.

“I…um…” Orihime muttered, keeping her head down as she blushed.

“Spit it out, or I’m leaving!” Grimmjow bellowed, baring his teeth at her.

“I was wondering…do you…care about me?” Orihime finally said, raising her head to look at his flabbergasted face.

Grimmjow couldn’t believe what she was asking him. Was she fucking serious? His answer was simple.

“Of course I don’t,” Grimmjow replied. “How fucking dense can you be? I’m incapable of loving anything but myself.”

“I see,” If she was disappointed, she hid her emotions well, as she looked at him with an expressionless face. She then gave a faint smile, which seemed a little odd for Grimmjow. “I’m sorry I asked. Farewell, Grimmjow!”

Her sudden change of moods seemed off to Grimmjow, but he chalked it up to mood swings. Turning around to leave, he gave a snort, again swearing that it would be the last time he’d fuck around with her.

This time, however, he was right.

He was soon sent on another mission, which he again failed in, raising his stress to an unbelievable level. Of course, once he got back to Los Noches, he immediately started to head to Orihime’s room, as she was seemingly the only thing that could ease his agitation. Once he opened the door though, he found himself in his current situation.

He walked through the halls, trying to quell his self-loathing thoughts, as well as fight back the thoughts of concern for the girl that he found was fighting their way through his head. All the conflicting emotions through his head were aggravating, making him want to bash his face in the wall to make them stop.

Just when he thought his madness had reached a new level though, he spotted something on the ground. Curious, he bent down and picked the trinket up with a hand, dangling it before his eyes. When he saw the pendant hanging off of it, he gritted his teeth as he realized what it probably was. Finally, he snapped, as the halls were filled with the sound of his laughter.

He laughed because of the thought of that clumsy girl losing it as she wandered the halls of Los Noches. He laughed because the woman getting so panicked over the stupid-looking necklace that he now held in his hand. But most of all, he laughed because of the irony of it all.

He wasn’t sure if it was because he had finally fell off the deep-end or if it was because he suddenly realized something that he should have before, but he suddenly felt the urge to go find her. He knew the idea was stupid, but he didn’t care any more. Without further hesitation, he created a garganta for himself and was about to step through, when he felt Ulquiorra approach behind him.

“Grimmjow,” he deadpanned. “Where are you going?”

Grimmjow only grinned and looked at Ulquiorra dead in the eye.

“I lost something. I’m gonna go get it back,” he replied vaguely.

“If you turn against Aizen-sama-” Ulquiorra said before he was cut off, instantly realizing what he meant.

“Aizen-sama can go fuck himself for all I care.” Grimmjow said nonchalantly as he turned around and went through the portal he created for himself, leaving the pale-faced Espada alone in the halls of Los Noches.

As he entered Karakura Town though, he was disturbed to find that he couldn’t detect the woman’s reiatsu anywhere in the town. However, that wasn’t going to stop him, he swore that he would find that girl and make everything right again somehow. Even if he didn’t know where to begin, he continued to walk down the street, clutching the necklace in his hand.

Perhaps it was the girl’s stupidity rubbing off on him, but he knew he’d find her somehow.




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Author’s Notes

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For those of you confused, there will be another part to this that will deal with Orihime’s side of things and also wrap up this story.

And I attempted to make both Orihime AND Grimmjow seem at fault for the deteriorating relationship, so hopefully I succeeded there. ;D

Also, I totally didn’t mean to get as into the smex as much as I did in this oneshot, but it just turned out that way. The next oneshot won’t have any smex though, so I can’t get carried away like I did in this entry. XD

Anyways, musical inspiration was once again brought to you by Nine Inch Nails and She Wants Revenge.

What to expect in the next oneshot? More angst, of course! So anticipate “The Great Below” soon to conclude this story!