Crush Or Lust

Disclaimer: I don\'t own Bleach nor make money off this fic.





Authors Note: Forgive me for not updating sooner. I have had massive writers block and you all can thank my sister Solaris for this chapter as well as the next couple of chapters. This is all her idea.



And yes, this is a filler chapter but it is very important to the story line.







Chapter 14





Izuru and Renji sat in the blonde\'s quarters, drinking sake and conversing. The red head sighed.



"So, there\'s nothing?"



The other vice captain shook his head, then dropped it. "Not for a while. What am I going to do Renji?"



Renji picked up the bottle and poured him another glass of sake. "You need to tell her the truth. She deserves that, at least. What changed?"



Izuru leaned his head back, staring at the roof. "I don\'t know."





Renji stood, popping his back. "Tell her the truth. Don\'t let this go on any longer. This war is coming quick and we need everyone at the top of their game. I need to go to Orihime."



"Thanks for coming by."





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The next night found Izuru and Rangiku sitting in his quarters. The two had just finished eating when he looked over and met her eyes.



"Izuru?"



"Rangiku, we need to talk. I mean seriously talk. No sake, nothing between us."





The woman sat back on the couch and nodded. "Alright. What is it?"





Izuru let out a deep breath. "Rang, this isn\'t working." He met her eyes and continued. "Our relationship.



I know and see it every single time our eyes meet. When you look at me, I feel like your looking through me or your seeing Captain Ichimaru.



When someone talks about him, your eyes get that distant look. You still love him, don\'t you?"





Rangiku opened her mouth and shut it, knowing every word he was saying was true. "Izuru, I.."





He raised his hand. "Don\'t. I know you still love him. Hell, I would think you crazy not to. I know I offered you comfort when he left, but it was wrong of me too. Don\'t feel bad, Ran. I wasn\'t completely honest with you either."



"You weren\'t?", she asked, surprised.



"No. I am in love with someone else also. I have been since my academy days. It\'s just she never saw me and it\'s not right I use you to take her place."







Rangiku looked at him with a smile. "That\'s a long time to be in love with Momo, isn\'t it?"





Izuru\'s eyes shot wide open. "How?"





The woman chuckled. "I saw you watching her. You know, you should tell her what you feel. I\'ll be all right, I always am. I know it\'s foolish of me but I keep holding onto the idea that Gin will come back to me. Let\'s end this now. We shouldn\'t drag it out any longer than it has been. Our hearts belong to others. We\'ll still be friends."



Izuru felt like a huge burden was lifted from his shoulders. "Thanks for understanding."



She nodded. "That\'s what friends are for.





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Later that night, Rangiku sat in her own quarters, her eyes locked on her opened closet. One of Ichimaru\'s old captain\'s jackets hang there for her to see. She felt her eyes filling with tears as she continued to look at the clothing.



"Oh, Gin.", she whispered. "Will you ever know how I felt and still feel about you? Will you ever know I love you or are you already too far out of my reach? Will I ever get the chance to tell you how I feel, how much you mean to me? Is it a chance wasted? A time never to happen? I should have held on longer, I wouldn\'t have been in this pain right now."





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Renji leaned his head back on the wall, after hearing what his friend had to say. He had always thought it true but she hid it so well. If he could, he would go into Hueco Mundo and get a message to Gin, but as it stood, he couldn\'t.



He sighed as he started walking away from the door, his mind heavy with thoughts. Not only was Toushirou hurting, Rangiku was also. He found himself slipping into his and Orihime\'s quarters, quickly undressing and climbing into bed. He just hoped that everything would work out for the best and that his two friends could find happiness as he had.





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Toushirou sat on his bed, staring out the window. In his hand, he held the diamond ring he had picked out for Karin, two days before she was abducted. He looked down, feeling his eyes fill with tears.



Part of himself wanted to give into the thoughts of never seeing her or his unborn child again, the other part begged him to hold on to the thought that they would return safely. He thought about the words he never got to say, the question that never left his lips. Now there was a chance that she was lost to him forever and while he would fight to the death for them, he found himself loosing hope quickly.



He kept himself buried in work, keeping his mind occupied. His hand reach over out of habit on the bed and picked up the small blanket he had purchased for her to wrap his child in when it was born. As his fingers ran softly over the material, his head dropped to his chest and he allowed the bottled up tears to fall freely.



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In another place, a man sat in front of two mirrors, his own eyes filled with tears. In one mirror he watched his child fight with demons inside. In the other mirror, his child\'s other half was fighting as well. Both were miles apart, their hearts calling out to each other, never touching, neither one feeling the pain or thoughts of the other.



While the pain wasn\'t felt, it was known. He wanted to take action but couldn\'t and that killed him more than anything to see his only child, suffer as it was. He could reach out and bring them both together but the fates wouldn\'t have that happen. It was important to let this play out the way it should, the way it was written. Many times he wanted to step in and play the god he was but doing so would disrupt it all.



Soon, they would be back together and all would be well but he wondered if soon would be too late.



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Karin was curled up on her bed, tears pouring down her face. Her child kicked in her stomach to let her know, it was there and it would be alright. Each day she found herself loosing hope that Toushirou or anyone from the Society would come to her rescue. Before long, she felt the fight to win would leave her forever. Her baby kicked again and she calmed down. She would find a way out of this, she would find a way back to her love.





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The next day, a meeting was called in the Society for the captains and vice captains. The First Division Captain brought his staff down, bringing order.





"Late last night, Kisuke Urahara delivered a letter to my hands. He would not state who delivered it but we now know where Karin Kurosaki is."



Isshin\'s head shot up as well as his son, and Toushirou.



Captain Soi Fon\'s eyes went wide at seeing the Captain Commander\'s eyes. "Please, sir. Say it isn \'t so."



The older man dropped his shoulders. "It\'s true. Karin Kurosaki has been taken prisoner by Souske Aizen, the traitor."





He brought his staff down, stopping everyone in their tracks. "We can not attempt to fight him right now. He will kill her and her unborn child. From the letter, we were told that he is going to use them as a bargaining chip, to gain access to the Soul Society. He will not take action until after the child is born. We will train and we will bide our time. For now she is safe. No harm will come to either."



Retsu Unohana spoke up. "Sir. Who delivered the letter?"



The man shook his head. "Urahara wasn\'t kind enough to give me that information, only the letter. It was unsigned but we can hope the truth was written there. While we don\'t know if it is true, we must trust that it is. We will have another meeting in a few days. Please don\'t do anything stupid right now, we must think this through and come up with a plan of our own. This meeting is adjourned."





As the group left the room, he closed his eyes. "Please don\'t have let Aizen found out the truth about what I have been hiding all these centuries. That is the last thing we need is for him to find out about the connection. If he does find out, we will be in more trouble than we are ready for."



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Author\'s Note 2:



Sorry it is short but it is important. I sort of wanted to get some information back into it and get the story restarted. Hopefully the updates will be sooner than before. I will try to work on my other stories also. Again, much love and huggles to my sister Solaris for helping me get restarted on this. Go read her stories. Shinigami Trouble is the best.