Darkest Blue

Chapter 14: Coming Out Strong

"Follow me, and I'll take you somewhere lighter

Than you've been

Come with me, I won't let you fall apart

Not again

And it's been so long, Just barely holding on

We're coming out strong…

Hey... You're smiling again

Leave the scars, the future is waiting…"

- Ana Johnsson

 

'Gah, Ichigo…' Urahara gasped as sharp teeth scraped his neck, sending shivers through his skin and down his spine. Warm hands ran across his chest, sneaking under his clothes, pushing aside the fabric of his shirt to allow the redhead better access to the pale skin of his neck. Urahara leant back against the solid headboard attached to his bed, biting his lip at the warm weight of the shinigami deliberately pressing against his crotch. Ichigo was perched on his lap, straddling him upon on the bed as he teased his skin.

'This isn't going to make me change my mind you know.' Urahara murmured as Ichigo tugged the soft cloth of his shirt down past his shoulders.

'Please Kisuke…' He whined as he pressed fleeting kisses across the strong line of his stubble peppered jaw, his eyes half lidded as they gazed out at him pleadingly.

'I won't put you in danger.' Urahara couldn't bring himself to look in those eyes for fear that his resolve would crumble to pieces under the beseeching stare.

'Bullshit.' Ichigo hissed in his ear. 'Do you really think we're safe from him here?' His teeth scraped against Urahara's neck again, making his skin shudder with pleasure. 'Do you really think we could keep him out if he wanted in?' Ichigo sat back in his lap and fixed him with a weary stare. 'Don't lie to me Kisuke.'

'Ichigo…' Urahara could feel his resolution slipping at Ichigo's repeated pleas. The young shinigami had been trying to convince him for weeks now to be allowed out of the shop; away from the enchantments that everyone was kidding themselves would be worth a damn for keeping Aizen out.

'I know you're just trying to protect me, but I've been stuck in this goddamn shop for nearly a month now. I'm going crazy here Kisuke, I need to get out, even if it's only for a few hours.' The wheedling tone returned to his voice as he fluttered his eyelashes and fixed Urahara with wide eyes that were almost 'puppy dog' in their pleading nature. 'I just want to be free for a few hours, that's all I'm asking. Is that so bad?'

'Goddammit…' Urahara frowned at the redhead in his lap and muttered. 'How did you learn how to twist me round your little finger so quickly?' Ichigo grinned, sure of his victory in this on-going argument, and he looked so smug that Urahara just had to fight back. He pulled Ichigo towards him again, kissing him passionately, running his hands up and down the redhead's back. Ichigo made soft noises as he kissed back, giving as good as he got. He ran his fingers along the brim of Urahara's hat as they touched, hooking his fingers underneath it, lifting from his head so that he could run his fingers through the soft pale locks of the older man. He let the hat fall to the floor when Urahara pushed him down to the bed, moving his fingers to push the cloth of the shopkeeper's robes further down his back as he leant over him. Urahara kissed Ichigo's neck in a way that he knew would have frightened him terribly had he done so a couple of weeks previously. But as it was now, Ichigo was slowly getting used to physical contact again, specifically; the young shinigami hadn't slept in his own bed since they had first spent the night together. It wasn't all about sexual contact though, some nights they would lie together just feeling their skin touching, or the rising and falling of Urahara's chest as Ichigo slept cuddled up to him. And despite the circumstances, Urahara couldn't help but guiltily admit that the time he had spent with Ichigo recently had been some of the happiest weeks he'd had in a long, long time.

He started pressing bruising kisses to Ichigo's neck to distract himself from the guilt that welled in his soul at these thoughts, taking refuge in the sounds of pleasure that escaped Ichigo as he sucked gently on the sensitive skin of his neck.

'Nngh..! Kisuke.' Ichigo hissed as Urahara bit down gently on his neck, sparking off pain and pleasure across his delicate skin. He could feel Ichigo growing hard beneath him and he had to fight the temptation to take him right there and then. He was starting to push the boundaries of Ichigo's comfort zones, but there were still limits on what he could do, on how far he could push.

'You know better than to tease me Ichigo.' Urahara murmured against his neck as he started to unbutton Ichigo's shirt with slender, deft fingers, pressing kisses to his neck and chest as he did so. He felt Ichigo's breath catch in his throat as he pinched at the fabric that covered his nipple, and smiled as he leaned in to smother his moans with another deep kiss.

The shopkeeper was just about to turn his mouth to tease Ichigo's chest when they were interrupted by a sharp knock on the bedroom door. Urahara lifted his head from Ichigo's neck and smiled shamelessly at Tessai as he slid the door open, not even batting an eyelash at the sight that he found before him.

'Lunch is ready…' he mumbled through his moustache as he nodded his head towards the two men on the bed before softly sliding the door shut again. Urahara had to bite his lip to keep from laughing at the horrified look on Ichigo's face, his cheeks burned with flames of embarrassment at being caught in flagrante with the blonde.

'You okay?' Urahara nuzzled at his face but resisted the urge to continue teasing the blushing redhead.

'Yeah.' Ichigo swallowed his embarrassment as the flames subsided. 'I just didn't exactly expect him to come in then.'

'Well it's not like our… relationship' (could he call it that?) 'is exactly a secret to the residents of this shop.'

'I know.' Ichigo shrugged as best he could with his back still pressed against the mattress. 'I just don't want everybody thinking that I'm…'

'Being taken advantage of?' Ichigo winced as Urahara filled in the gaps in his speech for him.

'That's one way of putting it.' He mumbled, averting his eyes from the blonde leaning over him.

'Hey.' Urahara ran his fingers along the curve of his chin, tilting his head back so that their eyes met again. 'It doesn't matter what people think, all that matters is that you're happy…' He paused, unsure how to press on. '…Are you happy?'

'Yeah.' A slow smile crept across Ichigo's face and into his eyes as he spoke. 'I am.' Urahara couldn't help but grin back at him as he pressed another soft kiss to his waiting lips.

'Good.' Urahara grudgingly rose from the bed and offered his hand to help Ichigo do the same, giving the redhead a cheeky wink as he spoke. 'Now I don't know about you but I'm starving…' He started to readjust his clothing and frowned, turning to the boy on the bed with a wicked sparkle in his eyes.

'Now, what did you do with my hat..?'

---

Ichigo breathed deeply, tasting the fresh air as they walked along the tree lined road. Urahara in his slightly more conservative looking gigai was walking a few steps behind, giving him the illusion of freedom that he so desired. Despite the nagging of his conscience he was glad that he'd crumbled to the requests of his young lover as he watched him walk in the autumn sunlight. The warm light beamed down through the slight chill in the air and alighted upon Ichigo's moon drenched skin, tangling in his hair and seeming to light him up from the inside out. When he turned to look for the shopkeeper his smile was warm and genuine, so different from the drained, defeated expression that Urahara had been used to seeing upon his face. A gentle breeze ruffled the strands of his hair as leaves drifted lazily past him in the fall afternoon and his cheeks were tinged pink from the warm sunlight bathing his cold skin. The colour had returned to his face and the spark of light was burning brighter in his eyes, looking at him in that moment Urahara could almost have believed that he was a normal youth, free from all the troubles of his existence.

When Ichigo reached out his hand towards Urahara his eyes fell upon the thin red band around his wrist, something that would've been mistaken for a bracelet by anybody but those who knew its true nature. A little reiatsu cancelling device, one of the conditions of Ichigo's expedition back into the everyday world. Urahara wasn't taking any chances in attracting any enemies, be they hollow, arrancar or someone much worse.

Ichigo saw how Urahara's eyes lingered on his wrist but in that moment he didn't really care. He never imagined how good it would feel to get out of that stuffy little shop, to feel the wind on his face again. He hadn't even realised how the world outside had changed while he had been away, the seasons slipping from summer to autumn, the leaves dying off to soon be replaced with new buds of life. He couldn't help but feel that this was an appropriate time for his reintroduction to life. And as he regarded the older man before him it was difficult to imagine a more perfect moment.

He had convinced Urahara to adorn some more appropriate clothing for their trip out amongst the humans, and he was glad that he had insisted upon the more modern outfit. He didn't even know that Urahara owned such clothing, and the sight of him dressed in something other than those traditional green robes was almost as impressive as the sight of him without any clothes at all. His baggy green trousers were replaced by fitted dark jeans, his wide necked shirt and robes switched out with a loose fitting beige shirt unbuttoned at the neck and a dark blazer jacket that hung open and unbuttoned despite the slight chill in the air. Ichigo had even convinced him to ditch the hat, and though his blonde bangs still hung around the sides of his face and dipped down between his glittering, mercurial eyes, his hair had been scraped back into a little ponytail by Ururu as they sat having lunch, and (as much as he loved running his fingers through that soft blonde hair) Ichigo thought that he actually might like it better that way, being able to see the curve of his jawline and neck more clearly than before. With the soft sunlight falling down upon his pale skin he was, in a word, stunning, and Ichigo felt quite drab beside him, dressed merely in a pair of his dark blue jeans which were still slightly too big for him after his weight loss in captivity, a slightly too long black V-neck t-shirt that he'd borrowed from Urahara's civilian clothing cupboard (who knew that ex-shinigami captains had such a thing?) and topped off with a grey sports jacket half zipped up and open at the chest which hung off his frame a little too much as though to further highlight his muscle loss.

'What?' Urahara addressed the curious expression that hung on Ichigo's face as those bright eyes bore into him.

'I was just thinking, you look good in those clothes.' The younger man smiled softly, feeling a little embarrassed at being caught staring.

'Oh really?' Urahara mused as he plucked at the sleeves of his jacket. 'I feel so… human.'

'Well you look good.' Ichigo laughed slightly at him as he approached.

'So do you.' Urahara chuckled at the grimace that crossed Ichigo's face. 'No really, you look… happy.'

'I told you, I am.' Ichigo smiled shyly up at him. 'You're here aren't you?' Urahara felt some kind of warmth flood his chest at Ichigo's innocent words, and replied softly as he took the boy's warm hand in his own.

'Always.'

They walked together hand in hand through the crisp afternoon, Ichigo blushing slightly at the looks cast their way by passers-by, Urahara paying no heed at all to the humans that they passed, keeping alert for any sense of approaching danger. They had no set destination, and Urahara simply allowed Ichigo to follow his feet towards the inevitable journey's end.

Ichigo looked almost surprised when they arrived at the Kurosaki Clinic, his home, as though he hadn't even been meaning to end up there. He looked up at the sign over the entrance and swallowed hard as he followed the path all the way to the front door. As Ichigo tried the door handle Urahara almost breathed a sigh of relief when it didn't open, because he knew that there was no-one home, he could sense fresh remnants of the presence of Ichigo's family but no living breathing bodies.

'Dad must be picking the girls up from school.' Ichigo chewed on his bottom lip as he spoke. 'He never used to do that, not before…' Urahara understood the unspoken words just as he could sense the unease in his voice, the guilt over the fear that he'd put his father under and the sadness and confusion of the young girls who just wanted to know when their big brother would come home. He squeezed Ichigo's hand gently as he fumbled in his pocket for a set of keys.

'Where did you get those?' Ichigo frowned slightly as Urahara unlocked his front door. The key clicked softly as the lock released.

'Your father.' He murmured as he pushed the door open. 'We both knew you'd make your way back home eventually.'

Ichigo paused as the door swung open, suspended in the threshold of his home, as if by entering he would break some spell that hung in the air. In the human world it had barely been five weeks since he'd stepped foot in his house but to him it had been nearly four months, most of that time spent in the dark hole of the hollow world. He'd been suspended in limbo ever since, out of time and out of place, and stepping over the threshold would cause real human life, his time, to start moving again.

Urahara waited patiently, he knew what coming home meant to Ichigo. And once he'd summoned the courage to let go of the shopkeeper's hand he stepped along over the threshold, into the hallway of his home. Urahara stepped in softly behind him and closed the door, blocking out the rays of sunlight that bathed the hallway in orange. Ichigo didn't seem to notice, didn't even turn back to look at him as he made his way down the hall, eyes drifting past the kitchen and living room that was empty of the brightness of his family. With the front door shut all sound from outside seemed to cease, the silence of the empty house reverberating all around them. Silently, as though under a spell, Ichigo reached the end of the hallway and continued up the stairs, trailing his fingers along the polished handrail as he went. Urahara followed slowly behind him, he knew where he was going; up the stairs, first room on the left.

Ichigo's bedroom.

When Urahara caught up with him he was sitting on his bed, staring out through the window. The blonde stood in the doorway, watching him watching nothing in particular. The blinds were open, casting the fading sunlight of the afternoon across the room, lighting up the figure sitting on the bed.

Urahara sat and watched Ichigo sitting on the bed, his heart heavy with guilt. It had been so long since he had dared to let another into his heart, and he would never have imagined that a rouge human-turned-shinigami-turned-vizard could have broken through those barriers. He was bright and young and dangerous and everything that Urahara knew he should stay away from, (not to mention the physical and spiritual age difference, and the fact that he was the son of one of his dearest friends.) But there was no way he could leave him now, even if he was still a flickering shadow of his former self. He was already caught in a spider's web of feelings for the boy and he felt a stab of something like guilt as he thought back to his conversation with Tessai earlier that day. Whilst picking up after lunch the two old friends had a rare moment alone together in the kitchen and Urahara had thought it best to talk to him on the matter of what he had stumbled upon in his bedroom.

'Tessai, I know you know what's been going on,' Urahara had laughed wearily as he spoke, 'knowing you you've known it even longer than I have...' Tessai sighed and removed his glasses, cleaning them gently using the soft cloth of his tunic before speaking.

'I'm not going to lecture you, as I know you're painfully aware of all the reasons that you two shouldn't be together… But it's been a long time coming and you might be right, I probably realised your feelings for him before you even did.' Urahara wasn't surprised; the ex-kidō captain had known him longer than anyone and had always been wonderfully astute on matters of the heart. (He remembered back in the day when Tessai was one of the few people in Soul Society who hadn't been expecting Urahara and Yoruichi to get married and produce little cat babies…) He continued, 'And I'm sure you think you know what you're doing. Just be certain that you're committed to this Urahara, because you're the only thing holding that kid together right now…' Tessai paused for a moment in his thoughts as something like a grin tipped the corner of his lips. 'And I would not like to be the one to face Isshin when he finds out…'

It was then that Ichigo spoke, cutting into his thoughts, asking a question as though it had just occurred to him.

'Hey, what day is it? I've lost track.' He murmured softly from the bed where he sat.

'Me too…' For the life of him Urahara couldn't keep track of such trivial things as that, especially at his age where time was relative and meaningless. 'I think it's a Tuesday, but I could be wrong.'

'Mmm.' Ichigo hummed in what could've been agreement or annoyance, but either way Urahara couldn't stand to be apart from him much longer. Shaking off his doubts he crossed the room to the bed where Ichigo sat, sliding in behind him so that his back rested against the wall as he put his arms around the quiet redhead. Ichigo relaxed into his arms, his back slouched so his head rested against the older man's chest and the soft spikes of his hair tickled his chin. The comfortable silence was broken by a soft pitter patter as rain began to fall outside the window.

'I can't go back to how I was.' Ichigo broke the silence again as he shifted slightly in Urahara's arms. 'There's no way back. So it's no use dwelling upon the past. I have to move forward, just like I've always done, right?' He didn't look towards Urahara for an answer, and the blonde remained silent, letting him get his thoughts in order, only responding by means of hugging him tighter to his chest. After a moment Ichigo continued, 'As long as I still have them, the people I was fighting for, my family, my friends, and you… I'll be alright. As long as I can be here with everyone, I can move forward with them.'

'Ichigo…' Urahara whispered, squeezing his hand gently in his own. He didn't quite know how to respond, in all his quick wittedness he was struck dumb for a moment as both of them realised that, despite everything that had happened, and everything that would ever happen, Ichigo would be alright. The rain was still falling gently outside, the sun still shining through the glistening drops as they fell through the autumn air. They sat together in silence for some time, Urahara savouring the feeling of having Ichigo safe in his arms as they both looked dreamily out at the rain falling softly outside. And as he watched the drops fall Ichigo could feel that, after the longest time, the rain had finally stopped inside his head.

'It feels like everything is getting back to normal…' He murmured, his voice quiet despite the still silence of the afternoon.

'I wonder…' Urahara mused softly as he pressed a kiss to the top of Ichigo's head.

It was then that the spell of the afternoon was broken with the sound of the front door being pushed open, and uncertain voices floating up the stairs towards them.

'The door was open… I'm sure I locked it, unless… Ichigo? Are you here?' The low mumble of his father was unmistakable, and Ichigo couldn't contain the smile that split his face at the sound.

'Yeah Dad, we're upstairs.' He called down to them, and in a split second they heard the sounds of his twin sisters racing up the stairs towards them. A moment later they appeared in the doorway, both pausing for a moment as though they disbelieved the sight before them. The room that had sat cold and empty since Ichigo's departure was lit by the orange glow of the sun and there, where he belonged, sat their brother on his bed.

'Ichi-nii… YOU'RE HOME!' Yuzu almost squealed with excitement, neither of the girls even seeming to find it curious that their brother was nestled in the arms of another man. They wasted no time in throwing themselves upon him, even the normally stoic Karin was beaming with joy and Yuzu had tears in her delicate eyes at the joy of the homecoming of their big brother.

Urahara disentangled himself from the huddle of siblings just in time for Isshin to appear in the doorway, beaming from ear to ear but resisting the urge to jump upon his son as was his usual way of greeting. His smile was soft as he saw his children re-united where they belonged, and for once he was savouring the moment instead of barging right into it. He beamed as he turned to his old friend,

'You brought him home, just like you promised. Thank you Kisuke.' And Urahara didn't have the heart to tell him that it wasn't permanent, that Ichigo would have to return with him later and remain resident at the shop for the foreseeable future (for the safety of himself and his family, and not just out of Urahara's selfish desire to be alone with him). So later they would return to the shop, and later they would have to deal with the Aizen situation and Ichigo's place in the war. But the moment was rare and beautiful, and Urahara would not bring himself to ruin it.

Instead he placed his hand on Isshin's shoulder and smiled back at him. Something unspoken passed between the two friends and Isshin's grin grew wider. In two quick strides he crossed the room to grapple with Ichigo in a bear hug as his sisters laughed and smiled and Ichigo lit up from the inside out. His eyes sparkled with joy as he fought off his father, laughed and put his arms around his sisters, and when he looked up at Urahara the happiness that shone in his face was pure and genuine, and the shopkeeper though that he'd never seen anything so beautiful as the love that he saw and felt in that moment.

'I'm home.'

---

In the world of endless night, the black and white devil was stirring, moving swiftly down the moonlit marble hallways, white robes swishing by his sides as he smiled his cruel smile and mused to his right hand man.

'Everything is in place, I'd say it's about time we retrieved my pet, don't you think?'

The fox's smile split the night, and enveloped in the warm glow of his family, a cold shiver passed through Ichigo's body as the skin of his cheek began to itch again…