Resurrection

ANGST WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER!!! Nnoitra just can’t figure out his feelings. Reminder, Zaiaku is Nnoitra’s inner hollow.

Resurrection: Chapter 15

Nnoitra’s POV

I wanted to slam my head against my desk repeatedly. That lieutenant broad was off at some woman’s society meeting or whatever, which meant that I was stuck helping Shunsui with paperwork. I eyed the man who was snoring slightly and ‘accidentally’ pushed a heavy book off of my desk, making it land with a loud thump on the floor. Shunsui awoke with a jerk, looking around, and then yawned lazily.

I narrowed my eyes and fought the urge to light the paperwork on fire. I glared at the seemingly endless stack of papers and allowed my mind to slip to Ichigo who was probably off hiding from Kenpachi somewhere. I frowned at the strange tightening sensation in my chest and rubbed at it.

“Ah, you really like him don’t you.” Shunsui’s sing-song like voice wafted over to me. I glowered at him and stabbed the paper I was writing on with a particularly hard flourish. “Love is nothing to be ashamed of.” He smiled at me from beneath the wide brim of his hat.

“Love?” I questioned with a hiss, wondering what that had to do with anything.

“Yes, yes. You do love Kurosaki-kun, don’t you?”

“I-” Well I knew that I really, really liked making out with him, and I didn’t want him to die…The idea of anyone else having him made me beyond angry. But love? “I don’t NOT care for him…” Take that, double negatives!

“So you care for the boy?”

“Tch.” I looked away from the meddlesome Shinigami.

“Hm, I guess not. Kenpachi will be pleased to know-

“That fucker better not go anywhere NEAR my Ichigo!” I slammed my fists onto the table and glared at Shunsui who was chuckling.

“Yes, yes. Calm down, Nnoitra-kun. I’m only suggesting that if you do not make yourself emotionally available to him, there are others that would take what is offered.” Shunsui gave a sly grin. “Abarai-san, for example.”

“That red-haired idiot wouldn’t dare go after Ichigo.” I narrowed my eyes and unclenched my fist. “Besides, Ichigo is only interested in me.” I added smugly.

“Of course, of course.” He waved a hand at me and closed his eyes again. In anger, I grabbed the paperweight on my desk and threw it at him, very disappointed when he dodged. “Hey now, that wasn’t very nice.”

“Neither is your face.” I growled out childishly and moved to leave.

“You should tell him.”

I paused, my hand on the door as I glanced back with a menacing glare. “Tell him what?”

I slammed the door shut before he had a chance to respond. Now I was in a bad mood and wanted to kill something. Seeing Ichigo should cheer me up. My next step faltered at that thought and I stopped, frowning in incomprehension. It couldn’t really be true that I…loved Ichigo, right? I’m Nnoitra Jiruga! I kill without a thought, I have no mercy, and I most certainly do not love. Even an attractive, cuddly, amusing Shinigami like Ichigo. That’s not it.

My heart clenched again and a shiver ran through me. I was getting way too attached to this Shinigami, and it was making me weak. I couldn’t allow weakness if I wanted to be the best. It was that simple.

…

But on the other hand, I couldn’t imagine being without Ichigo right now. As much as I hate it, I have become dependant on him in more ways than one. I couldn’t imagine not laying beside him as we slept, touching that soft skin and the sensation of his hand around my rock-hard cock. Or his mouth. Shit!

I ran my hand over my hair distractedly. Maybe we should…take a break for a while. Just to…make sure. I went to his house and found him there, lounging on the couch with his eyes half-closed. Then I told him.

Ichigo didn’t take it well, like I expected.

“You want to what?” He stared in disbelief at me, his mouth dropping open slightly. Ah, all I wanted to do was kiss him now, but I restrained myself.

“To break up for a little while.” I said again, trying not to wince at my own words.

“I don’t…understand.” His confused expression was adorable. Fuck, this was hard. I didn’t want to do this; I wanted to be with Ichigo.

“I don’t need anybody…” I paused and corrected myself. “I shouldn’t need anybody. This relationship of ours…” I trailed off again. “It’s made me weak. I can’t be weak.”

He was still staring at me in disbelief. “So what you’re saying is that you’re breaking up with me because I make you weak.”

“Yeah.”

His beautiful brown eyes that I loved- liked! - so much were now narrowed in anger. “Well, fuck you.” He snarled. “Better get you’re fucking stuff out of my apartment.” He looked so hurt, so betrayed. He turned around to storm away, but I wrapped my arms around him before he could, unable to stop myself from burrowing my face into his orange hair and breathing in his scent.

“Ichigo.” I whispered his name. “I didn’t say ya could leave.” My arms tightened around him in warning.

“You’re the one leaving me!!!” He yelled and tried to escape my grip but I growled at him and bit down on his neck. He flinched and gave a little yelp.

“I just need to get my feet underneath me.” I murmured once I let go of his flesh. “I need to sort a few things out.”

He didn’t say anything, but stopped trying to escape. I let him go and stepped away from his warm body. He wouldn’t look at me, still silent. I got the little stuff I had at his house and moved it to mine, which I had only been to a few times. I sat on my cold bed, staring at the empty side that Ichigo would have normally slept on at his place.

I already missed him.

Ichigo’s POV

Well fuck him! I don’t need him either. I glared at the door that he had left through, ignoring the strong urge to cry overwhelming me. Shit, I really need to drink.

Renji and Rukia weren’t as understanding as I would have hoped. In fact, they seemed rather gleeful that Nnoitra and I had broken up. Needless to say, they weren’t making me feel any better.

“You know what you need to do?” Renji said drunkenly, his arm slung over my shoulders with his face close to mine.

“What?” I said back, just as intoxicated as he was.

“You need to find somebody else. You could do so much better…” He rested his head against my shoulder while Rukia giggled. “Like me.”

“Cut it out Renji.” I mumbled and nudged him a little.

Third Person POV

Little did Ichigo know, a couple of people were listening to the entire exchange, while two specifics ones were shaking their heads.

“Jiruga-kun is a bit of an idiot, isn’t he?” Ukitake said forlornly to Shunsui.

“Yes, it appears so.” Shunsui said. “Apparently he didn’t take the comment I made very well.”

“What was it that you said?” Ukitake asked curiously.

“I was just saying that Nnoitra-kun loves Ichigo-san.” Shunsui took a sip of sake and eyed the way Abarai was touching the oblivious Ichigo. “Obviously he didn’t like that.”

“Hm, I suppose that someone like Nnoitra has a hard time appreciating love.”

“Yes, but if he doesn’t watch out, somebody else is going to snatch Ichigo up.”

Nnoitra’s POV

I really needed to fight Kenpachi, to let some of my anger out.

“You sure are pissed-off today.” The bastard commented as he blocked one of my swings.

“Tch. Shut up, I’m not here to talk.”

“Angry about your break up with Ichigo?” The 11th division captain smirked. “I’m going to have to pick him up myself, if Abarai hasn’t already.”

“Abarai?” I asked, my grin dropping a little in confusion. “What does he have to do with anything?”

“The way he was all over Ichigo last night, I assume that he’s already banging him.”

I didn’t even remember moving, just the red spray of blood that erupted from Kenpachi’s chest as my sword bit through his skin, muscle and bone. His face remained frozen in a grin as he fell to his knees, then onto his face. That pink haired girl that always hung around him was instantly at his side, looking at his bleeding form, then back up to me.

“Thank you!” She chirped to me cheerfully, and then summoned a hell butterfly, sending it to the fourth division. I glared at Kenpachi one last time and turned, my anger still burning through my veins. I flash stepped to the large cavern I had been training in, calling upon my Zanpakuto instantly.

Santa Teresa formed, its insectual head cocking to the side as it studied me, Zaiaku frowning at me with its impossibly white arms crossed over its chest. “You’re such a fucking idiot.” It growled at me.

“I didn’t come here to talk! I’m here to fight.”

“Do you know why you haven’t achieved bankai?” Santa Teresa clicked at me while Zaiaku drew the inversed version of my Zanpakuto.

“I’m stronger now!” I yelled back in protest. “Ichigo isn’t going to hold me back anymore!”

“Weakling.” I dodged a slash by Zaiaku. “Do you think that is what makes you weak?”

“Fuck you, I’m not weak!” I snarled at him and parried a thrust.

“You are” Santa Teresa loomed over me. “Do you know what makes hollows and Shinigami different?”

“Tch, like I care.” I took a few steps back so I didn’t have to crick my head back to look at him.

“Hollows are empty.” I scowled at the obvious explanation and tilted my head to the side. “Pushing fear to the side may make us stronger. What are you afraid of?”

“I’m not afraid of anything!” I screamed, my sword whistling as I attacked Santa Teresa, but Zaiaku appeared in front of me and blocked it.

“What are you afraid of?” The mantis asked again calmly, only making my anger sky-rocket.

“I don’t fear death!” I spat at it, forcing my weight against my blade.

“Hah! No you don’t, do you?” Zaiaku said mockingly. “You fear becoming me!”

“What the hell? No I don’t!” They were only succeeding in confusing me, and my anger still hadn’t died.

“You fear becoming empty, you fear losing your emotions.” Zaiaku snorted and turned his head to the side, as if snubbing my existence. “You fear losing Ichigo.” My head throbbed where my hollow hole used to be, the ache becoming almost too painful to bear. “So instead of losing him, you decided to break up with him first. You need to face what you fear, Nnoitra!”

“I don’t fear anything!” I shouted yet again.

“No? It doesn’t make you angry to know that Renji might be fucking that sweet little Shinigami ass you’ve been coveting?”

“Ichigo is mine! No one else can have him!” My anger was spiraling out of control, fueled by pain and the idea of Ichigo with somebody else.

“Than prove you are stronger! Prove to me that you are stronger!!!”

“Bankai!” I roared, and blackness surrounded me. My zanpakuto lengthened and spikes curved out of it, away from the hilt. Power beyond belief filled me, almost orgasmic in climax. Oh yes, this was it. This was what I was searching for. My bankai.

Santa Teresa and Zaiaku dissolved my inner hollow’s scowling face the last thing I saw. I started laughing, I couldn’t help it. It echoed in the large cavern, sounding maniacal even to my own ears.

Now to find Ichigo and get him back.

LINE

So…what do you think? Nnoitra broke up with Ichigo, but he’s going to get him back.

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