Sinner

A/N: Ok guys, I have to be honest with you my loves, this story came dangerously close to being discontinued after I read what was happening in the current chapters of the Bleach manga. No, it came more than close, I had truly decided not to finish it. However, a very well-timed and moving review from Delmasca (and not even for THIS damn story, mind you) saved it from being left unfinished. Despite me being very saddened by Bleach, I’m going to finish this story for everyone who is just as disappointed as I am. So, despite the fact that it takes me literally months to update, have no fear, this story well never be discontinued and it WILL be finished. Keep showing me your love, please, because you have no idea how much your reviews can change somebody’s mood or opinion and eventually I will thank each one of you for being so devoted. And if you want to thank someone for this story, you should thank Delmasca, cause she saved its ass like the little angel she is.

P.S. To everyone who was disappointed about Hitsugaya’s lack of power, just let me say a few things. One, he has a reiatsu blocker on him, and without his powers, he’s in the body of a 13 year old, what do you expect? And two, all you had to do was be patient and have a little faith in me, my dears.

ALSO, if you're curious to see the review that got me to continue this story, here it is below. It's for my Naruto one-shot, A Broken Mantra

"You know, I really wanted to take my time. I wanted to choose my words carefully and wait for a "hit the nail on the head" phrase that would allow me to convey to you what your story just meant to me. But then I realized that what I'm feeling is located exactly on the left side of my chest, and that it is special enough that I'd rather not try to describe it.

Instead I'd like to share with you an interesting fact. Every time I try my hardest to stop reading Naruto, when I try to stop watching the anime,try to stop reading its multitudes of fanfiction because of the anger I feel, I see this; your story, word for word, image for image, emotion for emotion, and I grudgingly continue.

It's how I console myself and my rage in Naruto's name. Everyone gets what they deserve.

No one would agree, but it's the happiest ending imaginable.

Thank you."


Warning: This chapter may seem a little off, I’m trying to get my grove back after almost putting a torch to it. Also, may have more typos than usual. My bad.

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Reunion

In the quiet of their room they stared at each other in silence.

Hitsugaya wondered idly when he had started referring to it as “their” room.

He watched almost wearily as Ichimaru moved from his standing position and slinked towards him, climbing slowly onto the bed where Hitsugaya was perched, a grin of triumph plastered on his face, and it suddenly became ironic that Ichimaru referred to him as a cat.

He stayed still as Ichimaru approached him and didn’t move until the man cupped his long fingers on either side of his face, leaned forward and began placing soft kisses along the bruises under his eye.

He tilted his face towards the feel of those lips, even as they slightly stung his damaged skin and he let out a breath of air that had been trapped in his throat.

“Ya shouldn’ interfere when tha grown-ups are talkin’.” Ichimaru breathed into his ear, and even though the words were taunting, Hitsugaya could hear the underlining seriousness behind them.

“By talking do you mean getting the shit beat out of you?” He bit out, not bothering to keep the bitterness out of his voice even as small fingers wove into Ichimaru’s silver hair, because Ichimaru could have stopped it, could have easily subdued Grimmjow, but he hadn’t, he had just fucking taken it. “Bakayaro”

“Anger, chibi, anger is a motivator, one that I needed ta git ‘em to cooperate. He had ta git pissed, o’ it never woulda worked.”

He leveled Ichimaru with a stare then and spoke the words that he had been thinking since Ulquiorra had said yes and probably even before that.

“This is stupid.”

“Very.”

“We can’t win!”

“Probably not.”

“But that doesn’t change the fact that we’re going to do this, does it?”

Ichimaru didn’t answer then, instead he just moved his hands down Hitsugaya face along his neck and down, down, down until they reached his slim waist and he bodily pulled the captain to sit on his lap.

He slipped the shoulder of Hitsugaya’s thin clothing down before he leaned forward and rested his lips on the smooth skin he found there. Hitsugaya closed his eyes, suddenly feeling a burning behind them that he didn’t care to acknowledge.

“And what about you, Ichimaru?”

“Hmmm?” The slight vibration of Ichimaru’s lips across his skin almost made him forget what he was going to say next. Almost.

“Are you angry?”

Ichimaru drew back to look at him, studying with his nearly closed eyes and Hitsugaya just stared back, knowing that there was no reason to back down on something like this, and then he saw something break in Ichimaru’s gaze, and he knew he either said the right or the incredibly wrong thing.

“Furious.” Ichimaru whispered before diving in and latching his teeth onto the same spot where his lips had rested gently moments before. Hitsugaya arched up involuntarily, a keening cry falling from his lips, his head fell back and Ichimaru held him possessively to his chest as he marked him all over again.

Hitsugaya gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut because he didn’t have to look to know that blood was now spilling through the sides of Ichimaru’s mouth and running down his shoulder and chest. He felt his skin break under Ichimaru’s canines and still the man didn’t let up and it hurt, it fucking burnt, but still he felt himself becoming hard, and he didn’t understand it, how pain could make him ache in an entirely different way, but at this moment he believed in it.

Ichimaru didn’t even bother to remove Hitsugaya’s clothes, he just snaked a hand in between their bodies and without any hesitation dove into his pants and roughly began to jerk him off. The glide of Ichimaru’s hand over his cock wasn’t smooth, wasn’t gentle, and the friction was too much, but still Hitsugaya was moving with it, wanting it, craving it, as high pitched, rapid pants fell from his lips in between calls of Ichimaru’s name, sounding like it was the only word Hitsugaya knew anymore.

Through his hazed mind, the young captain barely registered that this was actually the roughest Ichimaru had ever been with him, that every other time, even through his cruel words, Ichimaru had shown restraint, almost caution in his actions. Now it was almost brutal. Now it was so fucked up Hitsugaya wasn’t even sure how it got to this point, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret his choice of words.

Ichimaru was mumbling softly against his throat, even as his hand moved at an unwavering speed. It took Hitsugaya a moment to comprehend what he was saying but eventually he got it.

“I have ta have somethin’ that’s mine. If everthin’ else is gone, I need ta have somethin’.”

Histugaya didn’t know what compelled him to do it, maybe because Ichimaru was showing weakness in his brutal behavior and he wanted to return the favor but he suddenly clasped Ichimaru’s face in between his hands and placed the gentlest kisses he was capable of on the lips, eyes, forehead and cheeks of the man who held his cock in a now shaking, vice-like grip.

“You have me. You already have me. It’s enough, Ichimaru, it’s enough.” He managed to get out between kisses and pants and cries.

Ichimaru’s hand stuttered in its movements and he stilled for a moment and Hitsugaya almost wanted to cry from it, but then Ichimaru was nodding against his hands and leaning in to catch his lower lip between his teeth and suddenly that wicked hand was moving again, gentler this time, stroking and twisting up as a long fingers circled the head, smearing the droplets of precome that had gathered along the slit, and Hitsugaya was back to saying things he’d probably regret later but didn’t give a damn about then.

“I’m yours. I’ll be yours. Just don’t stop, Gin. Please, just don’t stop.”

“I wont.”

Their lips collided in a kiss that seemed so familiar now and Hitsugaya moved in time with Ichimaru, and growled when the fox-man swatted his hands away when Hitsugaya tried to reach down to return the favor.

“Not about me, Toshiro.”

The pressure was building, coiling so tightly in his gut that it hurt, and Hitsugaya didn’t think he’d ever be used to it, but he knew he never wanted it to stop.

Still, it had to end eventually, and it did when Ichimaru gave one harsh tug as he leaned down to lick away the blood trails on Hitsugaya’s shoulder and abruptly Hitsugaya was screaming Ichimaru’s name and coming all over that pale hand and the inside of his shorts and he was holding on for dear life to the one thing that had dismantled him in the first place.

“Gin…Gin…Gin…” He kept repeating the mantra over and over again as he came down from his high. He felt Ichimaru’s free hand smoothing down his side, calming him, and he heard Ichimaru raise his other hand to his lips and lick away his essence from them, and he smelled the heady scent of sex and sweat and them lingering in the air, and he tasted all of it on his tongue, but he kept his eyes closed because he needed to enjoy this moment and not have to think about everything he had to face when he decided to open them.

It wasn’t until Ichimaru was smoothing his eyebrows with his thumb that he finally did open them. Teal found crimson and for a moment they just stared at each other until Ichimaru’s eyes began to close once more and his ever present grin was back in place.

“If you keep dropping the act like that, it will lose its impact.” Hitsugaya said and he wasn’t sure if he was actually teasing or not.

“All good things must come ta an end.” Ichimaru sing-songed and Hitsugaya had to resist the urge to roll his eyes like a human teenager.

“Che.”

Hitsugaya reached a hand up and pulled his sleeve back over his shoulder and into place, wincing slightly at the feeling of stickiness in his pants. Ichimaru watched him the entire time, not offering any help but not hindering him either. As he shifted to relieve some of the odd feeling, the front of his groin accidentally brushed against Ichimaru’s and he was immediately aware of the man’s own problem.

Despite everything that had happened already, he still felt heat stain the color of his cheeks and for a moment he just stared at the prominent bulge, before catching Ichimaru’s eyes that had been fixed on him the entire time.

“Ichimaru, you’re…I could-”He began, feeling incredibly irritated by the modesty that still entrapped him.

“What do ya expect, Shiro, with ya wigglin’ and cryin and moanin’ my name so deliciously like that.” Ichimaru chuckled but still he stopped Hitsugaya’s hand when it reached for the center of his arousal. He giggled even louder when he saw the indignant glare from his little chibi at being stopped from doing something that probably took a lot of built up courage to do in the first place.

“There will be plenty o’ time fer me later.”

And Hitsugaya supposed that that was the closest to a promise that they were going to survive this as he was ever going to get. It was a promise that Ichimaru probably couldn’t keep and it did nothing to settle the storm in his mind, but it did wonders for his heart. He nodded slowly despite himself and instead just leaned forward until cheek was resting against Ichimaru’s chest.

“What about Ulquiorra, Ichimaru? What if he turns on us?” He still had his doubts after all.

“He wont.” Ichimaru answered simply, reaching a hand up to tangle it in Hitsugaya’s unruly locks, giving a playful tug every once in awhile, immensely enjoying the growl that the action produced.

“How can you be so sure about that?”

“Because somethin’ much more destructive than anger motivates him. Well, really, it motivates tha both o‘ ‘em.”

“That being?” Hitsugaya asked, raising his head up slightly and swatting Ichimaru’s hand away.

“Isn’t it obvious, ‘ittle one? Love.”

Hitsugaya let out a disbelieving snort at the idea, but in truth the notion had already crossed his mind, though it completely rivaled with everything he had been taught about hollows and the extent of their emotions.

“You want me to believe that those two hollows are-”

“In love with each other? No, I ain’t askin’ ya ta believe anything’. Tha idea itself is disgustingly ludicrous…Still, more solid belief systems hav’ been destroyed before.”

“So, this… love they have for each other is stronger than their loyalty?” Hitsugaya questioned, suddenly becoming uneasy with the direction the conversation had taken but wanting to press on anyway.

“This ain’t really my subject, Shiro-chan.” And despite there being no indication in his slightly amused voice, Hitsugaya had to wonder if Ichimaru was becoming just as uncomfortable as he was. “But it woul’ seem they are tradin’ in their loyalty fer another type o’ loyalty.”

“For each other?”

“Cute, huh?”

“That’s not really the phrase I would use.”

“Sour puss.”

“Ichimaru-” Hitsugaya was silenced by a finger placed on his lips and he narrowed his eyes down at the offending digit, not really caring at the moment if it made him look ridiculous.

“Enough, Chibi. We hav’ other things ta discuss. Like ya stayin’ out o’ other people’s fights.”

Hitsugaya let out an annoyed huff, crossing his arms over his chest. “Are we still on that? Look you bastard, despite everything, do not forget that I am still a captain of the Gotei 13, and I probably earned my position far more fairly than you did.” It was a low blow, so what?

Ichimaru laughed right out at that. “Ne Hitsugaya-taicho, how could I forget when ya seem so keen on remindin’ me.” Ichimaru teased.

Hitsugaya was ready to retort and quite violently too when Ichimaru leaned in and captured his lips in a quick kiss before disappearing out the door after muttering a low, “Wait here fer a moment.”

Hitsugaya stared around the now unoccupied room, wondering where Ichimaru had ran off too. His retreat had been abrupt to say the least.

He fell back against his sheets, once again making a face at the feel of cum drying on the inside of his pants and he made a mental note, much to his own embarrassment, to remove said pants before engaging in anything like that again.

He let out a customary sigh as he settled into a position that was more comfortable while he waited for Ichimaru to return and he raised one hand up to brush away the hair that had fallen into his eyes, wincing when the action caused him to graze across the bruises on his face.

A hiss that was not entirely attributed to pain left him and he was suddenly brought back to what had happened only a little while ago.

Could this really work?

Could they really escape from this hell hole, limbs intact? It didn’t seem very likely. Even with two of the espadas begrudgingly on their side, they still had an army to face.

He felt a shiver run through him at the thought of once again coming face to face with Nnoitra. Or the far worse devil that was Aizen.

And despite everything there was to fear, he felt anger as well. Anger at Aizen for taking the power he had and manipulating it into something so dark. Anger at Ichimaru for dragging him into this fucked up world where he no longer knew where he stood, and anger at himself for being afraid in the first place. He suddenly felt glad that there were no mirrors to be found in this place, because would he even recognize himself anymore or would he only see the scared little boy he felt himself to be?

He grabbed the pillow that lay beside his head and shoved it over his face. It was a bit childish he knew, but it was something he had been doing for as long as he could remember. Whenever something seemed insurmountable or hopeless or if things were just too much to handle, he would press his face against his pillow and breathe deeply, finding, if only for a moment, some solace in the darkness.

This time relief was a little harder to obtain.

Still, he could always pretend. So he laid there, with his pillow over his head, breathing in and out, as deeply as he could and as slowly as he could. It wasn’t until he heard Ichimaru’s voice some minutes later that he stirred.

“Takin’ tha easy way out and tryin’ ta suffocate yerself?”

“Shut up, dammit.”

“Ne Hime, why don’t ya come out from under there? I have somthin’ ya might wanna see.”

Hitsugaya pulled the pillow reluctantly away from his face and raised up, ready to retort, but anything he might have said caught in his throat the moment he saw what Ichimaru held in his arms.

It wasn’t the clean pair of pants that were neatly folded, and very appealing that made him gasp, it was what laid on top of them. The light in the room caught a glint on the metal and Hitsugaya followed it all the way along the blade until it reached a hilt that had once felt so familiar in his hand. He wondered if it would still feel that way.

“Hy-Hyorinmaru!”

The name sounded thick on his tongue and he wanted to say it again and again until it felt like it used to

He didn’t notice Ichimaru watching him as his eyes stayed planted on his zanpakuto and he rose shakily from the bed. He didn’t even look up when the other man spoke.

“ I can’t release tha bind ya have on yer reiatsu yet, cause Aizen would notice immediately, but I thought ya’d might like ta have this back.”

Something akin to a ragged cry fell from Hitsugaya’s throat as he lunged the few feet there was between Ichimaru and himself and without any hesitation gripped his sword in his hands and pulled it against his chest in a mock form of a hug.

There still was no power there, as the bind was still intact, but even so he could feel Hyorinmaru thrumming contentedly below the surface, happy to be reunited with his master once again, and it felt…right, in a way that was only ever achieved when he was holding his zanpakuto. This was a part of him, a piece that had been ripped away since coming to this place, and though Ichimaru had destroyed and rebuilt him, this was something that would forever shape him no matter what. It was a little bit of power back when for so long he felt like he had none. His head was spinning with the heady intoxication of it.

“Adorable.”

He didn’t even have to think.

In a second he had Ichimaru pressed against the wall, the tip of Hyorinmaru against his pale throat. And Hitsugaya knew Ichimaru had expected it, had let him do it even, but it didn’t stop the thrill of pleasure ripping through him at the feel of having a little bit of control back.

Ichimaru’s throat shook with amused chuckles, but he at least had the decency to angle his throat away from the blade as not to get cut.

“There’s my feisty kitty.”

Hitsugaya just gritted his teeth and pressed the blade closer, focusing in on the tip as it pricked the thin skin of Ichimaru’s neck, causing a thin trail of blood to run down the column of Ichimaru’s throat. He thought briefly that now he and Ichimaru would both have wounds on their necks. He looked up from the spot where his blade was pressed and instead let his eyes focus on Ichimaru.

There was no grin on the other man’s face but their was a kind of tenderness that looked so foreign on those pointed features. It made Hitsugaya’s pulse quicken.

“What, do ya wanna kill me now that ya got yer ‘ittle sword back?” The expression still remained, despite the condescending words. “Ya can do it, ya know, if ya really want ta.” Hitsugaya was surprised by the sincerity behind those words. Though it made absolutely no sense to him, he guessed it was Ichimaru’s way of giving back some of what he had taken. He felt Ichimaru’s body relax against him, in a show of acceptance to whatever Hitsugaya wished to do, and the petite taicho smiled, truly smiled, feeling that still annoying stinging in his eyes, because did Ichimaru really think that after everything that had happened, after every curse and kiss and touch that Hitsugaya could really kill him?

“Idiot.” He whispered before using his free hand to tangle in Ichimaru’s robes and hoist himself up on tip toe so he could connect his lips with the man who stood at the point of his sword.

Ichimaru’s hands were no longer idle at his sides and now they were wrapped around Hitsugaya’s thin waist pulling the smaller boy closer up against him, groaning deep inside his throat, and it was good, so fucking good, because for once, despite the fact that he couldn’t even properly reach and it may only be for this moment, he felt like he and Ichimaru were on equal ground.

“Thank you, thank you so much for this.” He mumbled against Ichimaru’s lips in between kisses, and a lone tear may have fallen past his closed eyelids, but he would never know because it was caught immediately by Ichimaru’s thumb as the man reached a hand up to cup his cheek and nodded against him.

They pulled away from each other after a few moments, both breathing heavier than before and Ichimaru silently took his hand and led him to the bed, where he forced Hitsugaya to sit down, pinning him with a suddenly serious stare.

“Now that that’s out o’ tha way, ya better start mentally preparing yerself, Chibi.”

“Ichimaru?”

“We’ve got some prisoners we’ll need ta release.”