Different Perspectives

Warning Yaoi(boy x boy) don’t read if you don’t like.



AN: Thank you to satterb, killerfox, Darkephoenix, andYakumo for the reviews of the last chapter. OK I know that Kenpachi is OOC but…I think that anyone would be OOC in certain situations. I can’t see him being crude or rude or the such if his lover was injured or sick. Staying in character only applies to events that mirror those of the show/manga, therefore, I believe that Kenpachi does have a softer side that is not fully explored in the anime/manga. That being said, I have chosen to have him showing emotion towards Izuru. I know I don’t have to explain myself but I like to know that my readers are on the same wavelength as me. I appreciate the support of this fic, its been extremely difficult to write. This story is totally different from what I originally had planned but that’s the fun with writing you can change things along the way. Thanx so much to everyone that supports this fic and I hope you enjoy this chapter.



Chapter Nineteen



Izuru felt the fog lift from his mind. It occurred so suddenly that he wasn’t sure he had done more than black out for a few minutes. However, the fact that he was lying in a bed that was not his own in a sterile white room was enough to startle him into sitting up quickly in bed. The sudden change in position sent a rush of blood from his head causing spots to dance behind his eyelids. Izuru lifted a hand to his head to try and calm the feeling of disorientation.



“Ah you are awake, Lieutenant Kira.” smiled Hanatarou from the doorway. The small man walked timidly into the room and lifted Izuru’s wrist to take his pulse. Izuru opened his mouth to speak but all that came out was a croak.



“Here, have a swallow of water before you try to speak.” said the other man as he offered Izuru a glass of cool water. Izuru shot Hanatarou a grateful look and inhaled the entire glass. It surprised him how thirsty he really was.



“How long have I been out of it?” asked Izuru, now that his throat was moistened enough to form words.



“Three days. You had us a bit worried, Lieutenant.” said Hanatarou.



Izuru sat in shock. Three days!? How could he have been unconscious for three days. It seemed almost unfathomable. What had happened to send him into such a state. Had he been sick?



“What’s the last thing that you remember?” asked Hanatarou. Izuru sat for a moment and considered the question. He had just gotten to the office. His captain had been out for the day. He had been looking through a file left on his desk. Izuru clenched the bed sheet in his fist. The color completely drained from his face.



“Oh gods.” whispered Izuru. He felt the sudden panic engulf him once again. The horror and pain seemed just as fresh now as they had the moment he had read the contents of the file. Izuru began to gasp for breath, it seemed as if someone had a vice grip on his lungs.



“Izuru are you alright? Just breathe. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Focus only on your breathing.” said Hanatarou as he left the bedside and walked to the door.



“Captain Zaraki… I need you in here now.” called Hanatarou from the door. The worry in his voice was evident and Kenpachi wasted no time rushing back into the room where his lover had lain for the past three days.



“Izuru?” boomed Kenpachi as he entered. Seeing his lover in a panic attack forced Kenpachi into action.



Izuru looked up as his lover strode over to the bed. His large calloused hand gripped Izuru’s in a firm grip, while his other hand rubbed in a soothing manner over the hunched spine. Izuru could tell that Kenpachi was speaking to him but his mind couldn’t comprehend the words. Izuru closed his eyes and attempted to focus his mind on finding and focusing on Kenpachi’s voice. He didn’t care what he was saying but the sound of that deep voice was enough to calm him enough that he could breath without gasping.



“That’s it, Izuru. Listen to my voice. Just focus only on me.” intoned Kenpachi.



Slowing Izuru’s breathing normalized and he leaned heavily on the wide shoulder of the warrior captain. Hanatarou watched the interaction of the two with something akin to amazement. Never in his life would he have thought that a man such as Kenpachi Zaraki would have such an impact on Izuru Kira. They seemed to be cut from very different cloth but at the same time they complemented each other so well.



“Izuru, what set you off, baby?” growled Kenpachi into Izuru’s ear. Izuru whimpered a little and turned to bury his face into Kenpachi’s chest. The material of the haori began to dampen and Izuru realized that tears were pouring from his face. Izuru shook his head and attempted to pull away only to be drawn deeper into the embrace. One would never have thought Kenpachi to show such gentleness with anyone other than his adopted daughter, Yachiru and yet here he was comforting a fellow shinigami with more compassion than many of the Division Four members. Hanatarou decided that it best to leave the two alone.



“I found out the identities of my parent’s killers.” whispered Izuru into the soft material.



“What!? How?” questioned Kenpachi as he looked into the reddened eyes of the blonde man. His pale face was splotched with red patches of flushed skin and his eyes still leaked tears.



“A friend gave me an unauthorized file from Central 46. It had the names of all of the men that participated in the slaughter of my parents. No one was punished for the attack.” murmured Izuru. Izuru figured the slight evasion of truth wouldn’t hurt anything. The fewer that knew of Central 46’s involvement the better. Kenpachi was pretty much in shock from this revelation. A growl rumbled through his chest.



“Who gave you this information? How do you know its real?” asked Kenpachi.



“Its real and I can’t tell you who gave it to me.”



“Horseshit. I wont sit by and let you drive yourself into the ground again with this shit. Look what happened to you from just seeing the names written on a fucking file. You need to drop this self imposed quest. It won’t fucking bring back your parents of give you the childhood you lost.” growled Kenpachi. Izuru knew Kenpachi would never support his decision to find the killers. He would chain him down. A pain started in Izuru’s chest.



“What do you know of it? You didn’t have everything you loved taken from you. The only thing you know or care about is your next battle.” yelled Izuru, now thoroughly pissed off at Kenpachi. Kenpachi jerked as if slapped. He dropped his arms to his side and stood from the bed to glare at it’s occupant.



“You right I don’t know what its like to be loved by parents because I don’t have any. I even had to name myself because no one bothered to even give me a name. I’m tired of listening to this crock of shit from you. If you need me, boy, you know where to find me.” growled Kenpachi as he stormed from the room.



Izuru slumped on the bed, feeling more tired that he ever had in his life. It was better this way for all the parties involved. He couldn’t truly commit himself to a relationship until he could finish what he had started more than fifty years ago. It would be a disservice to Kenpachi as well as to himself. Izuru felt a tear trail down his cheek. That thought didn’t make it hurt any less but at least he could justify this self induced injury to his heart.



“What happened?” asked Hanatarou. Izuru looked up. He had been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t even heard the other man enter the room. Izuru smiled sadly at the diminutive man.



“Just setting Kenpachi free.” murmured Izuru. Hanatarou looked shocked. Had what he had just witnessed from the doorway not happened, he would not have thought twice about the statement. However, seeing Kenpachi’s loving caress and gentle demeanor around Izuru made Hanatarou speak up.



“How could you give him up?” Hanatarou practically yelled. Hanatarou might be goofy, clumsy, and shy but when it came to things he cared about he was adamant in his defense of them.



“Did you know that he sat with you for the whole three days that you were here? He would only leave to attend the Captain’s meeting and even then he had a member of his division sitting with you in case you woke up. Do you even care?” yelled Hanatarou, his passionate defense of Izuru’s relationship surprised the blonde.



“Why do you care, Hanatarou-san?” asked Izuru quietly, his heart aching at each of the words from Hanatarou‘s lips.



Hanatarou paused in his tirade at the question. He dropped his eyes to the floor. A sad look entered the otherwise upbeat shinigami‘s face. There was obvious pain in that gentle face.



“Because not everyone can have the one they love and you are throwing yours away for only you know why. The ones most precious to us give us strength to fight our battles. They are the ones that heal our wounds at the end. The one I love could never love me but I am happy to care for him in any way I can even if it is not the way I truly desire. I know that one day I will have to watch my love die before my eyes and I know I will mourn him forever.” said Hanatarou, his eyes still lowered the ground.



Izuru looked on as the vicious tirade turned into sadness that was all encompassing. He would never have thought such passion existed in the other man. It was eye opening. Hanatarou’s eyes were so expressive that Izuru felt as if Hanatarou’s pain was his own. He didn’t know how Hanatarou lived with such sadness. Izuru didn’t know who it was that Hanatarou was so devoted to but he decided that if the young man ever admitted his feelings to his ‘beloved’ then that was a lucky person indeed. A knock on the door ended the tirade.



“Hanatarou-san, Captain Ukitake is here for his treatment.” said a nurse in a pink uniform. Hanatarou’s face lit up in joy. Izuru now knew to whom Hanatarou’s devotion belonged to.



“Hanatarou…” said Izuru as the smaller man turned to leave the room. Hanatarou turned and glanced back at the bed. “Thank you.” Hanatarou smiled and left the room. Izuru laid back on the bed, his mind whirling with thoughts. Some concerning Kenpachi and others a lot more darker. He now had the identity of his parents’ killer. What would he do with that information?



XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx



Izuru stood outside Division Eleven once again. Captain Unohana had insisted that Izuru stay one more day in her infirmary before releasing him with strict instructions not to return to work for at least two more days. Izuru wasn’t worried. Captain Ichimaru could handle things well enough without him. Izuru had things he needed to fix. He and Kenpachi might be total opposites and he was unsure how the possessive, dominating man would deal with his need to provide justice for his family, but he would try. He didn’t want to have Hanatarou’s eyes.



Raising a hand to knock, when the gates were flung open and a blur of black and pink tackled Izuru. He grunted at the impact. Yachiru packed a lot of punch in her tiny body.



“Where have you been, Pretty-chan?” cried Yachiru. Izuru scooped her up into his arms and buried his nose in her shoulder. She smelled sweet, like a mixture of flowers and candy. Oddly enough, it suited her.



“No shit, where the fuck have you been?” growled Ikkaku from the gateway, his arm in a sling. “The captain has been running our asses into the ground because of you. I don’t care what you need to do, just fix it. I liked how it was before.”



“Now, now, Ikkaku, don’t be so vulgar. You are so unattractive when you curse.” purred Yumichika from behind the bald man. Izuru did a double take when he saw the fifth seat of the division. The raven haired prima donna was sporting a large black eye and his normally perfect hair was a bit worse for the wear. Yumichika strolled up to Izuru as if nothing was amiss and leaned down to whisper in his ear so not to be heard by anyone else.



“Fucking fix this mess, concealer only does so much.” he whispered and Izuru grimaced in empathy. It was obvious that Kenpachi had been riding his members hard.



“Where is he?” asked Izuru.



“Where else would he be? Fucking murdering the entire division.” shouted Ikkaku. Izuru sat Yachiru on the ground.



“Yachiru, I’m going to go talk to Kenpachi. Do you think you can give us some time to talk?” asked Izuru. Yachiru nodded and grabbed Ikkaku by his good arm, nearly pulling it from its socket as she dragged him behind her. Yumichika stepped aside and closed the gate after Izuru entered.



“I hope you have your zanpakuto ready. He’s on the warpath.” said Yumichika cheerfully.



Izuru walked through the main building into the training grounds. Division Eleven, due to their nature, was allotted a larger area in which to train. There in the center was Kenpachi surrounded by what looked to be about fifty men. All of them lying at his feet in various stages of injury.



“Come on, you worthless pieces of shit. My daughter can put up more of a fight than you.” yelled Kenpachi, as he swung his zanpakuto up to rest on his shoulder. His annoyance at the lack of challenge was definitely noticeable. Kenpachi glanced up from where he was looking disgustedly at his squad and saw Izuru standing in the shade of the awning. Hurt passed across his face before he scowled stepped over the collapsed men, ignoring their presence completely.



“Kenpachi, can we talk?” asked Izuru quietly.



“Hn.” grunted Kenpachi. Though it wasn’t a warm welcome, at least he hadn’t attacked. The large man hadn’t thrown him out yet so there was still hope. Kenpachi brushed past Izuru and strode to the water bucket. Taking the dipper and filling it with cool water, Kenpachi downed it rapidly before looking at Izuru.



“So, talk.” he said.



“I don’t know what to say.” he whispered. Kenpachi scowled.



“Well, I’ll be here when you do.” he growled and pushed past him and headed for the main building.



“Wait, Kenpachi.” cried Izuru. “I’m…sorry. I want you in my life but you have to understand that I need to do this. I need to give my family justice. I have longed for it for so long that it has become a part of my being.”



“I just don’t want you with blood on your hands. Mine are bloody enough for the both of us.” rumbled Kenpachi.



“I don’t know what will happen when I find them. But I cant sit by and do nothing. My parents lives were more than just that.” whispered Izuru.



“Why are you here, Izuru?” asked Kenpachi with a sigh.



“Because I need you. I need your strength to help ground me. I don’t like the thought of going back to being alone.” answered Izuru.



“I won’t let you destroy yourself. You do realize that?”



“Yes, but I need you to know how much I need to do this. I need to show my parents that I haven’t forgotten about them.” murmured Izuru.



“For now…we will take this one day at a time.” said Kenpachi.



“Alright.”



“There will be some ground rules in this self imposed quest of yours. First, you will not rush off into anything. If you find information, you will bring it to me and we will go together. Second, I will kick your ass if you ever put me through what you did the last two days.” growled Kenpachi.



“I think your division would gladly assist you in that mission, Kenpachi.” answered Izuru when his eyes landed on the still collapsed forms of several division members.



“Hmph. Lazy bastards, drinking instead of training.”



“Should I call Division Four?” asked Izuru. Kenpachi seemed to be considering the question.



“Well I don’t want any of them dying so I suppose it would be wise to bring the wimps over here to heal them.” answered Kenpachi with a grin. The smile didn’t carry the malice that his grins usually did. This was a smile just for the sake of smiling. It took years off of his battle worn visage and gave him an almost gentle appearance. Izuru smiled and sent for Division Four. Then followed his lover into the building.



TBC~