Straitjacket Feeling

A/N: Took the holiday weekend to get some serious writing done, or at least I let myself have some creative fun with this chapter. The internet at my parent's house is not agreeing with my computer right now so it took me forever to get a signal when I was done, which luckily I did. Hopefully it stays for a little while longer.

She couldn't believe herself and how far she had gone to push Captain Unohana's patience with her. This whole situation was just... it was getting to her. The fact that it was recently brought to her attention that Division Twelve had the intention to 'imprison' all the women involved in this mess... without their direct acknowledgment just rubbed her the wrong way. She couldn't help but to think that her sole focus of hatred on this matter had a lot to do personally with her. If Kiyone hadn't been positive with Sentaro's child and... it had been the Espada's instead, she'd be locked up here just the same. And she would have hell with that- fuck, the Division would probably have to knock her out just to touch her sister, and even then she'd get back up and continue to fight. There was no way in hell she'd let Kiyone stay in a place like this... and get treated by these Division members, so deadened by Scientific means and observations they had separated themselves from the morality; from humanity.

All of that was obvious.

Because no other humane Division would proceed to cut up the same person over and over again just for the hell of it, no matter who they were.

There wasn't anything she could do, in this kind of position she was ultimately powerless but... given the chance to do something to stop it all, she would have. She would've done it a long time ago by the Gods.

But all she could do now was stand aside and try to help anyway she could. At least it was something, right? At least she hadn't gotten kicked from the Division just yet but she had that persistent worry that it was just around the corner. After all, she was a risk; she didn't agree with their tactics at all. They wouldn't want to keep someone who disagreed with them, it was just a further threat to their 'structure'.

She paused just in front of the door and tried to recompose herself; she really couldn't just walk in there like this- an emotional and mental mess beyond everything. Taking a deep breath, she ran her hand through her silver-locks and pushed the door open- hoping her energy wouldn't give her unstable self away.

"Hey, sorry about the sudden departure-" Isane started before she took note of the black-haired woman curled up on her bed once more. Of course, women normally slept quite a bit during the early stages of pregnancy... she probably should've seen that coming. Shaking her head lightly, she pushed the door closed behind her and slowly made her way across the room. She probably really shouldn't but... she wanted to wake the woman up and make sure everything was okay; she probably needed the extra hours of sleep but she could risk to donate a few minutes right? Walking to the bedside, she reached over and gently shook the woman's shoulder in an attempt to stir her at least. "Come on, I need you to wake up for a moment."

She didn't think it would take much to get the woman awake; she hardly slept anyways and when she did, she was a light sleeper.

That didn't seem to be the case now.

Despite her lightly shaking her, and even speaking to her, not even a single facial feature twitched; she remained absolutely still. It wasn't anything to panic over though... she was probably just really, really asleep, right?

"Nemu? Nemu, I'm serious." she called lightly and tried to use a bit heavier force to shake her with- to no avail. Frowning, she rolled the woman over and onto her back only to get no response from that either. "... Nemu?" the name barely seemed to leave her now as a small sense of panic began to rise. More shaking lead to nothing; more calling lead to nothing. But... she checked her pulse and her vitals and everything was still functioning; she was still breathing and her heart was still beating. She pulled her up slightly and tried to see if the elevation would help. "Nemu, seriously, you're freaking me out."

Still nothing.

She felt the need to panic start to tighten in her chest before watching as those green eyes slowly peeled themselves open and looked up to her; focusing just lightly before she looked to the arms that held her.

"Isane? What are you doing?"

She stood there for a moment before she eventually dropped the woman back to the bed. "What was that all about? I've been trying to wake you up for five, maybe seven minutes and you weren't even responding to me."

"What? I don't even... remember falling asleep... how long have I been out?"

"I don't know, we've been gone for maybe one or two hours at most. I kind of made Captain Unohana upset and she sent me here to see if you were okay and... I thought you were in some kind of coma or something." Isane started before she sighed lightly and tried to drop the panic. "You just... you scared me, okay?"

"I apologize for doing so but... I don't even recall any of that." she replied as one hand went to move aside her bangs as she pushed herself into a small sitting position; carefully moving as the bulge of her stomach seemed to wish to hinder her movement a bit. "How on Earth did you upset Captain Unohana?"

She gave into a light groan and shook her head. "I don't even want to talk about it anymore. It was more like me getting in a fight with Akon and then it kind of spread around... look let's just not talk about me anymore. I came down here to check in on you and see if there was anything you wanted. And I mean anything."

Well, she'd like to see Officer Akon and fulfill that promise she told him earlier. She figured his Atlanto-occipital joint needed some readjusting anyways. But that request would not seem suitable right now.

"No, I'm fine."

"You sure? I was ordered to fulfill any request you made and Captain Unohana gave emphasize to 'anything.'"

She took note that the woman seemed fully intent on reminding her of the same thing over and over again- as though she hadn't picked up on it before; as though she hadn't already given full thought to it and had already picked out plenty of things at request. But she couldn't bring herself to say any of them. "I know... I know exactly what I want but... I don't know if I really want to face him right now."

"Are you sure? He seemed ready to see you again before."

"... Could you bring him here instead?"

"Well I don't see why not... I don't think anyone could really object to it, especially if it was under Captain Unohana's orders; Captain Mayuri's not here to stop us either." Isane remarked. "I'll get him if you promise not to fall asleep like that again."

"I'll try."

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Why was it as soon as the woman left with promises that neither of them wanted to see one another ever again... he suddenly had about a dozen questions he needed to ask her. And it wasn't just questions out of curiosity, he needed to know the answers and now would be a good time to get them. Shit, he somehow needed to catch her before she went off and isolated herself completely from the rest of the world. Although he highly doubted anyone would be able to put themselves between her and what she wanted; it was going to take a lot more than sheer force to get her to come back.

Which is why he was beginning to think he would never get those answers.

He was half-dressed as usual when he pushed aside what remained of the bathroom door; cringing slightly at the dying creak that erupted every time the broken frame was shifted. Of course, that last creak was a bit louder than it should've been- aw shit. It was around that time he noticed the room door being pushed aside and didn't really care for who was on the other end- although sight of the silver-haired woman calmed his nerves just a bit. "I think there's a scratch on my neck you might've missed, you want to heal it?"

She turned at the words and frowned partly at his almost playful tone; it was more out of bitter sarcasm as he spoke to remind her of the healing mishap from before. "Very funny." she muttered in response.

"Yes well, actually that might've gotten off on the wrong foot because there is something I need to ask of you." he started. "Do you remember the woman who was in here before? That Captain?"

"Do you mean Captain Soifon?"

He really didn't know why he couldn't seem to keep track of her name, but right now that wasn't all too important to him. "Yes, do you know if she's still in the building? I believe we might've cut off our conversation too short and there's just one more topic I need to discuss with her."

She narrowed her eyes and tried to recall if she had passed the woman somewhere in the hallways or anything but nothing came to mind. "I don't know if she's still here but... I suppose I could go and look."

"That would be lovely."

She turned to go before she stopped herself upon remembering why she was here in the first place. "Wait, wait, I came here to get you because Nemu wanted to-"

"Well then disregard that earlier request." he interrupted. "I'll... just have to see if I can't catch that Captain at a later time."

"Just like that? You made it seem like it was urgent for you to speak with Captain Soifon."

"Yes, it is urgent but one woman is destructive towards others and one is destructive to herself; I think the choice is plainly made." he answered as he eventually pushed himself towards her. "She is, after all, the one who is carrying my child; if she makes a request for my presence, I am more than willing to join her."

"But I thought-"

"There is a long and complicated discussion that I must finish with the Captain first that answers that very question in detail; it's a personal matter for now but she has admitted that... that 'positive' result has been in progress for awhile now."

It took a moment before the words seemed to finally sink in. "You mean... she's been pregnant for awhile now?"

"That much, I do not know; it was within the time frame of our session and to now when she mollycoddled with another- perhaps someone far more willing or at least suiting for her tastes. Either way, it is a matter I am willing to push aside for now for something far more important. If you do not mind my urgency... I would much rather go and meet with Lady Kurotsuchi now and deal with the Captain later."

She slowly nodded before she pushed the door open wider. "Alright, well just follow me and we'll try to avoid anyone on the way out."

"Seems like a perfectly suitable plan." he nodded in return before he moved to follow after her; listening to the sound of the door squeaking tightly closed behind them. As much as the situation seemed to scream that it was urgent to know... he wouldn't dare put her second to anything; as far as he was concerned, she was the only importance there was to him. "I'm not entirely sure if anything has changed much since our last encounter but how is she doing?"

"Ah well, she's finally showing symptoms, like the morning sickness and fatigue." Isane answered. "Actually... she was asleep earlier and it took me a couple of minutes just to wake her up. It was like she was in some kind of deep, subconscious form of sleep- she didn't even realize she had been in the first place until I told her. I haven't dealt with many pregnancy cases, but I'm almost certain that fatigue isn't supposed to run as deeply as that."

A faint chuckle escaped him as he barely paid much attention to the surroundings around him. "Perhaps in terms of your experience with your own species, that is not typically normal but when following the guidelines of my own, it's merely a side effect of the pregnancies. I've witnessed several of our females sleep for days and others went on to sleep for weeks; one case slept for a month once. I myself haven't gotten the chance to compare the difference in pregnancy between our species but I have a minor feeling that our species reacts quite differently. At one point, it almost seemed as though the fetus itself was attacking its mother host- which was a fairly reasonable hypothesis of why they slept for such long periods of time; it put both their bodies at ease and allowed for them to grow accustomed to one another."

She didn't know why she found the topic so heartbreak but she did; she tried to focus more on the rooms and corridors they moved through to try and distract herself from it. "I have to ask even though I'm afraid of the answer... did any of the female Arrancars that were killed... were they pregnant?"

He picked up on the empty tone that tried to desperately mask the breaking one underneath it and for a moment he questioned whether he wanted to answer truthfully or not- but she had asked and he expected that she had done so for the honesty of it. "There were only a small handful of them, and they all ran the chance of being high-risk- which they all were in the end; a few of them didn't make it past the first twelve weeks, others didn't make it far past that either, and there was one case of sabotage."

"Sabotage?"

"Yes well... a former acquaintance of mine was not entirely too happy to learn that his Fracción member had gotten into an affair with another Fracción associate; that unhappiness was furthered when he figured out that she had fallen pregnant with his offspring. So... to make sure that his Fracción didn't forget his place on the ladder of command, he did purposely attack the female."

The answer fell to the pit of her stomach and a faint feeling of nausea began to swell up in her chest; feeling as though it was bringing itself to the brink of suffocation. "That's terrible."

"He wasn't a man to be crossed- although beating his own Fracción member to the brink of death seemed as though it was enough punishment just the same; however, he was an evilly sadistic man like the rest of us... he just couldn't get enough of torturing others. Fortunately enough, that's where our similarities end." he remarked as he moved fingertips to brush aside his still damp strands. "Although, in the end, it turns out that he hadn't harmed her enough to rupture the first twelve weeks."

"What happened after that?"

"I assumed she died somewhere during the final battles."

And again with the sick feeling that continued to build itself up against her throat. She was beginning to wish that she had never brought it up in the first place. Shaking her head, she tried to find something else to turn the conversation to. "Well uh... do you think that's why she had been so difficult to wake up before? Because she's stuck somewhere between being a Shinigami and nursing some kind of hybrid?"

He took note of the sharp change of topic and he supposed he couldn't really blame her. "Yes, something like that. I'd really much prefer to witness it myself before I make a hypothesis but from what you've described, it is sounding similar."

"Well good, because I started to panic and thought she had slipped into some kind of coma of some sort." Isane started before she paused slightly as a rush of energy from nearby seemed to course its way through the building. At first she passed it off as some kind of fluke but a second, almost stronger wave disproved her greatly. She could recognize the energy easily, which is why the rush of it was just a tad bit frightening; why on Earth would Captain Soifon be putting out this much energy? "What on Earth..."

He stopped just the same at the thick waves and picked up on every conspiring vibration that seemed to echo with every burst. Something had certainly dug itself beneath her skin and he was curious as to what it was... but just the same he had set his sights to another matter instead. "Perhaps I should be speaking to her now..."

"I don't know, when she gets riled up, it's difficult to get a word in-" she started before she watched as a massive crack formed down the wall just on the far side of the room from them; a burst of dust and sheetrock seemed to erupt from the split before pressure forced it to give in and explode outward into an oncoming mess of large pieces and shattered brick. She ducked back slightly and tried to avoid any outward debris that destroyed the room around them. Blocking her face with one arm, she tried to wait for the dust to settle before she slowly peaked out into the gray-white cloud that smoked out the room. Hazel eyes could only pick out two figures that were blacked out from a distance but she didn't really need all too much guessing to know who they were. "Uh, I think it might be best to leave this area before anything else happens."

He heard the woman speak but found himself far too drawn to the other conflict to bother with her words. There was the Captain he needed to speak to and... she seemed to be having a problem with that Akon figure; judging from her energy radiation and the sole ability to blow through a wall with only the same radiation... there was something she was pissed about. And he wanted to know what it was. "On second thought... this may be my only chance to speak to her before she follows through with her plan."

"I would highly recommend not approaching her right now."

"Believe me, given another situation, I would choose to never be near her again but... there's something we need to discuss first; she may already be aware of it as well so hopefully this goes better than how I plan it to." he explained as he started towards the mess of conflict. "Just uh, go back and make sure Lady Kurotsuchi is alright; I'll meet up with her later than planned."

Before she so much as had the chance to put in another word, he was already halfway towards the two figures. She herself didn't want to move much closer towards it and sighed in near defeat as she choose to check up on the woman instead. It seemed dangerous to leave him here to deal with the Captain but... well she guessed she assumed Captain Unohana was still nearby and with the amount of energy that was bouncing off all over the place... she was bound to be here soon, right? Maybe she could fix this mess.

Every step that pushed him closer towards the conflict showed just how much anger the woman had accumulated in such a short amount of time; every burst of energy was nearly unstable and out of control- completely out of character for the strict, impenetrable woman. He knew what he wanted to say to her but... he needed absolute solitude for the two of them; which meant he needed to get rid of the third figure somehow- or see if she would take the honors of doing so instead.

Closer inspection showed blood running down the man's face and a few blacked out bodies in the previous room behind them.

Matching blood dripped itself from her hand that was tightly compressed at her side.

Oh yeah, someone definitely rubbed her the wrong way and she was merely expressing herself for it.

He glanced back at another set of footsteps and watched as the silver-haired woman caught up with him; there almost seemed to be an apologetic expression on her face. He didn't really question it all too much; it just gave him a second person he would need to discard later.

Hazel eyes moved to the bloodied figure to the left and she felt just a light gasp escape her. "Oh jeez, Akon, what happened here?"

He barely moved his sight from the enraged Captain in front of him and to the more questioning Lieutenant off to the side. "A mere suggestion of relaxation appeared to have been... misinterpreted."

"Misinterpreted?" Soifon snapped; taking another step towards him just to watch him wince slightly at the action. "Your suggestion was to sedate me, you worthless scum. And let's not forget the other members you decided to bring in on the subject. Just because you can dig around and find my medical records mean nothing; it gives you no right to even dare make such a 'suggestion' towards me."

"I was merely suggesting that because of your high-risk case, it would be under safer protocol to have you sedated for further study- it's all for your own health; we don't want to run the risk of-"

"Enough with your medical bullshit!" she shouted; watching as he seemed to brace himself for another strike. "If you so much as get near me again, I will show you what 'high-risk' can mean; I'll show you how filled I can make your medical report when I rip off your limbs one after another- and I'll fucking make sure you're conscious to see the end of it."

Maybe he liked her more than he originally thought- which wasn't really much to begin with anyways. Now, he would have to treat this next motion carefully or end up on the wrong side, which is where the rest of the world seemed to be. "I'll admit, those threats sound all the more reasonable- I wouldn't risk crossing her with them still in the air." he started; drawing her eye away from the other man and towards him instead. "If you'd rather have something else to pass your time with... there is part of this 'high-risk' case that I wish to discuss with you. And I assure you, I bare no means of sedation."

"Please, there is nothing that I wish to speak with you about either; we finished our conversation a long time ago."

"But there is something I wish to speak to you about- call it a late thought process but given time, I found myself surrounded by a dozen or so questions that I needed to ask you. Now we can choose to speak here openly about it and you can try to ignore me or... you can allow these simpletons time to recover and we can speak in private; the ball is in your court."

There seemed to be a brief wrinkle in her nose as her energy died down just enough to seem significant before it flared up as some faint movement in the room behind her caught her eye. "As much as I'd prefer for these bodies to pool about in their own blood and sense of pain... I'll take you up on this 'conversation.' After all, it separates me from these dead souls and you do bear some truth- you're not stupid enough to try and sedate me."

Alright, well she handled it better than he expected although the situation still called for some sensitivity in it. "Alright then, I'll try to make the talk quick- there is somewhere else I need to be at the moment."

"And I as well as soon as everyone decides to jump off my back." she nodded before she turned to the other two. "Lieutenant Isane, I would suggest that you find and inform Captain Unohana of these bodies and do remind her that they are lucky to even be breathing at this point. Now then, if you'll excuse me, there is probably something far more important than this worthless shit to spend my time on."

The silver-haired woman nodded faintly and seemed to remain partly frozen in fear as she watched the other two walk off; leaving the slightly destroyed area. "Oh Gods... what on Earth happened exactly? What did she do here?"

One hand was kept pressed against the bloody spill of his nose as he felt the continuous grind of the clear break of the facial bone; the fracture ranged out to his cheekbone, which shifted in and against the break just the same. "Yes well... she requested that any and all paperwork that held her name be destroyed- which I was following because only the copies are kept in this room; the original paperwork is hidden else where in Captain Mayuri's office. And when she came in to surveillance the work, I had already discovered a brief medical report we had 'received' from Division Four- or rather a report Captain Mayuri might have taken some time in the past; it was some kind of test that revealed her to be an incredibly high-risk case... my suggestion was only in the best interest of her health. High risk cases can lead to a long list of problems and death, as much as we wish to keep this project running, we don't want to run the risk of harming our subjects either. I thought... perhaps with mild sedation, we could keep her calm and under control just enough to run some test and see where she was or how her body was reacting; I believe her sharp bursts of energy like that overstresses her body and can put her at risk. However, in that suggestion, it seemed to bring on that same stress situation. The other Division members had merely overheard the commotion and came in to see what was going on; she misinterpreted the additional members and... well as you can tell, she turned it into a bloodbath."

"... Yes, well... that does sound like something Captain Soifon would do; she does not take kindly to someone wanting to control her." Isane responded. "I'm just curious as to what he wanted to speak to her about; I mean... what on Earth would have him so desperate to talk to her again, as far as I knew, he absolutely despised her."

"He holds a secret motive in all of this, it's evident in the way he acts and his sheer calmness in this situation." Akon replied.

"I think I need to find Captain Unohana first, and then-"

"No worries, I overheard everything."

She turned back at the words and watched as her black-haired Captain slowly made her way towards them. "Ah, Captain... well, if you already overheard, then I suppose there's not much to fill you in on."

"Not all of it, but there are a few things here or there to do." Unohana remarked. "Akon, if you're in suitable condition, will you please gather the Division members who are injured in here and give me a number? I don't want to miss anyone in the case that debris might've covered their bodies or if they had been knocked out of the room just the same." she watched as the man nodded lightly before he slowly stepped back into the room and disappeared. "Isane, if you will, go find those offices... and destroy all the original paperwork with Captain Soifon's name on it."

"What? But why?"

"Because... she will leave as she so wishes because no one here will dare to stop her; they'll merely wait a few months when she's further along and can't risk putting herself into a conflict. Her greatest amount of health problems occurred between months five and six, in which case she was the weakest and heavily ill with sickness; they'll choose that moment to find her and bring her back for the remainder of this 'testing.' Even though I agreed to overlook this project, I cannot allow for them to put her into risk like that; she's leaving to protect herself and her other child... who may as well be brought into this operation."

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"Alright, here we are, some place nice and secure, maybe even a little warm for your taste; now what the hell do you want to speak to me about? I have a schedule to keep and plenty of things to do other than suffer my time here."

He glanced around the small area to ensure that it seemed secure and isolated enough; watching as she seemed all the more confident in her placement of choosing- in which case it was good enough for their given situation. "I don't know if you'll be willing to give away the information I'm going to request, but there's no harm in the attempt. I need to know... when exactly was your daughter conceived?"

She narrowed her eyes slightly towards the question before she slowly moved to walk to the other end of the room; hands seemingly cemented to her hips as she moved with every slow step and appeared to have been merely pacing herself. "... Almost a year after his departure. Don't ask me how we managed to run into the situation of doing so because I won't tell you; I've never told anyone about it... Technically, he should've been marked as my enemy, but even despite my hate for him, I realized he was still the only person who could understand me. It was a difficult situation that we both put ourselves into but once it started, we couldn't just let it go... I merely made the whole thing easier by not releasing the information to him, even as difficult as it would've seemed to get in contact with him again... I would've had my ways of doing it if I really wanted to."

It was his turn to narrow eyes as he took in her words and tried to put them in to a faint timeline in his head. He turned to follow her movement and watched as she seemed to pause now to examine some kind of document that had been posted on the nearby wall. "But that would mean..."

"Yeah, I know." she interrupted. "... He had already changed himself at that point- I didn't know about it till soon after the end of the Winter War; that's when I realized that our daughter was... well had the possibility of being mixed- not in terms of just color but energy as well." her voice had almost dropped into a muttered state as she kept her back to him. "Does that disappoint you?"

"What? No, I couldn't really care much for who came first but... I don't understand how your two species type could conceive in such a manner- successfully at that as well." he replied.

"Maybe because he wasn't a Hollow; he was Shinigami first, heartless bastard second... not like you. You're complete, pure heartless, you don't have the taint of Shinigami in your blood, not like he did. That's why she's not a mixed; that's why she only carries the energy of a Shinigami."

He remained quiet for awhile; listening to the bitter sense of desperation in her tone. "You said she looked just like him... didn't you?"

"She's going to, yeah; she's got his eyes and her hair color matches his perfectly. I keep hoping that it'll change when she's older but there are no guarantees; I'm not sure if I really want to see him every time I look at her."

"I can understand your frustration with him, given the situation before and after." he started. "In all honesty, out of the three of them, he was the only one I gave some respect to. The others were brainless and in it for the power, and while he seemed to keep a secret agenda to himself, at least he had a reason; the fact that he would even brace the decision to convert himself to be like one of us... well the process is not easy nor is it painless- I've heard there's nothing more painful than the feeling of your heart dissipating inside of your chest. But... we shared a few things in common other than that; we had a few welcoming conversations and opening discussions. He was surprisingly intelligent and I almost considered him a scientist much like myself. Perhaps those traits will pass on to your daughter."

She shook her head and tried to keep down the rush of memories that wanted to release themselves from her mind. "We tried to keep the whole relationship thing from becoming too emotional involved because neither of us were ready for one and we just... we didn't want one overall. It was mostly based off of lust and physical looks; he had a body that put women to shame and pulled me over to the other team. He was the only one who could make me scream like a bitch... When I left that night, he admitted that he had once loved me, or at least still did; I just left without saying much else."

"Sometimes that's best." he spoke.

"You know, I don't even know why the fuck I'm telling you this; it's really none of your business and it's just... it's a waste of my time." she scoffed as she eventually turned away from whatever she had been using to hold her concentration.

He watched as she seemed finally content to leave and started towards the nearest door. "About the father now..."

"After he died, only one person came to comfort me because he was the only one who knew about us; despite everything they had suffered through... he still chose to remain at his side when he died. Sometimes... it's a terrible feeling to fall for his best friend but sometimes I tell myself that it could be worse; at least this way, even he would think I was in good hands."

"I'll go ahead and send my congratulations if things work out for you."

"I'd say the same thing but everything's going down the hellhole real quick around here." she replied over her shoulder before she made her exit and disappeared from his line of sight.

He slowly released a heavy sigh from his chest and looked over the things that had been said; almost finding some sense of relief in it now that he had his answers and... she seemed to have her freedom. Now if only that could be said about the others.

"Well here you are, I was hoping I wouldn't have to search for too long."

He turned back at the voice and could only shake his head at the other Captain who slowly made her way into the room. "Captain Soifon and myself were merely exchanging a few important words between one another. Our conversation is over and will probably remain as so as I highly doubt we'll cross paths again."

"Who knows, there is a possibility for anything." Unohana replied. "Now then, let's not keep Nemu waiting; she's expecting you sometime soon."