That Good Night

A/N: Again, I apologize for any and all ooc-ness in this chapter.



The Dying of the Light



"Why in God's name did you slap me?!"



"Why'd you kiss me?!"



"I-I thought we were having a moment."



"In your head, maybe." As he spoke he leaned back in his bed and calmed his facial features somewhat. Where before had been waves of sadness now resided clear, unclouded, still-shimmering pools. The hint of a smile, momentarily lost, returned in full force. It grew and grew until it engulfed the entirety of his face. A chuckle, delicate and light, escaped his lips. "Idiot."



My hand still rested on my burning cheek. The events, still processing in my mind, left me dumbfounded. "You didn't have to slap me. And why are you laughing?" Anger, of a different and more amiable sort, had returned to me. Perhaps it would be more accurate to label this new emotion as something more akin to a combination of playful frustration and childish annoyance.



"Because," he said. He wiped away at the teary remnants on his cheeks before continuing. "Because you're just. . . so young."



"I don't see what my age has to do with you slapping me."



"No, you wouldn't." There was a strange, playful tone to his voice altogether unfamiliar to me. Coming from him, at least. "Seriously, do you even know how old I am?"



His question caught me off guard. I had never even considered his age, given how young he looked. Only, before I ever had a chance to answer, or even contemplate an answer, my dad came in and forced me to leave. Something about letting the patient rest. I trudged back up to my room and, when I glanced at a clock, was surprised at how late it wasn't. Which was fine by me, because I needed the time to think. I laid myself down in bed and stared out the window instead of going straight to sleep.



The snow had picked up, and everything outside was covered in it. Snowflakes swirled around in the air in a hypnotic yet asynchronous rhythm. That Izuru was sleeping under the same roof as myself excited me to no end, though I wonder at whether my thoughts were a bit uncalled for, given the circumstances. But God help me, I was never going to let Renji see--let alone hurt--him again. That bastard had his chance, and now he could rot in hell for all I cared. Though I could hardly see it, I watched as the dark snow transformed into sleet, and upon waking the next morning such was the first thing I saw.



After fending off Dad, the first thing I did was check in on Izuru, only to find he was missing. I don't know why I thought he would still be there--his injuries weren't that serious--but that he wasn't depressed me. Still awash in my romantic naiveté, I had thought the previous night had changed things. I was obviously wrong. I was still a boy, a child, head full of childish thoughts and hopes and dreams. Really, what did I ever expect for him to see in me? Though I had hoped he might prefer me to the guy abusing him. Oh well; such is life. Fortunately it was Sunday, so I at least didn't have to suffer through school or see any of my friends. I thought about moping in my room all day, but I figured that would just depress everyone else, too. So, putting on the happiest face I could muster, I left the house to go for a walk.



There was no longer any evidence that it had snowed the previous night, and the slush covering much of the unpaved ground was uninviting to say the least. There weren't many people outside due to the weather, and the few people I did see weren't very interested in noticing me. God, was I such a child. One thing doesn't go my way and suddenly I'm inconsolably depressed. No wonder Izuru didn't stay around. Although, I did at least make him smile; but not in the way I had intended. He was laughing at me, not at anything I'd said. I was nothing to him, just some dumb kid with a crush for him to laugh at. I could see then the age difference between us. He obviously had more experience with relationships and things like that; he had tried to let me down gently, but I saw through that. I was just an object of pity, of annoyance. Who just so happened to rescue him. And what connection did he have to me, anyway? He was just a friend of a friend who had a pretty smile. If it weren't for Renji I might not even know the guy, and I fell head over heels for him at almost first sight. Obvious sign of immaturity. I hadn't ever even been with anybody, so what could I offer him? Inexperience and adolescent longing. Nothing else. Just my selfish desire to be with him. But could my saving him be viewed as a selfish act? Certainly, I did take something away from having been his rescuer, but did that change the fact that I had saved him?



All these thoughts were swimming through my head, and I had no idea what to do with them. It was raining now, the weather having warmed up to the point where not even sleet could survive. Light gray clouds covered the sky and cast their pale shadow on the earth below. I wasn't really paying much attention to where I was going, but before long I was standing outside Chad's place. I didn't even have to knock or anything before he opened the door, and I could tell by his smile that he wouldn't force me to talk. He took my coat and gestured for me to sit. We didn't talk much to begin with, just sat and basked in the calming glow of each others' company. He offered me a drink, which I accepted. It's not very often that I visit Chad's place, but whenever I do he is a very gracious and accommodating host. That is to say, he is not one to force conversation if the guest is not so inclined. But it's actually pretty difficult to keep to yourself when you're around him for an extended period of time; you just feel this urge to open up to him. Which is what I did.



"Chad," I said, "I've got something I want to tell you."



He nodded and made this noise that's near impossible to describe that seemed to say 'proceed', only it said so much more.



"I-I've been going through this thing, right? And this. . . thing, it's caused me some problems."



He nodded again and motioned for me to continue.



"But I haven't really talked about it with anybody, and I want you to know you're the first person I've told."



He didn't nod, just looked at me, waiting.



"Right. So--"



I had no idea how to say it, really, and the thought that I would frightened me to no end.



"I really shouldn't be this nervous. I don't even know why I am. You're my friend, right? I should be able to tell you anything without hesitation, but here I am with my stomach so full of knots it's painful. Still, I have to do this. I took a deep, calming breath. I have to.



"Like I said, I don't know why I'm nervous, but I am. I guess what I'm trying to say is I hope you don't take this the wrong way, that you'll really think about it before you say anything. Anyway. What I've been building up to is this:



"I'm gay."



It was more exhaled than said, as if I were letting out a breath I had been holding for ages, and, after having done it, I felt relief in a way I don't think I'd felt before. It washed over and soothed me and untwisted all those knots in my stomach. I felt much better.



Chad just sat there as if nothing had happened, and that form of acceptance made me happy. Nothing had changed.



"So you've finally come out of the closet, then?" Ishida was standing in the doorway, and I wondered how long he had been there. "It certainly took you long enough."



"Bastard, what are you doing here?"



"If you must know," he said while pushing his glasses further up his nose, "I'm dropping off some work I did for Sado." He held up his bag. "I can't say I expected you to be here. . ."



"Wait." I was confused. "What do you mean 'finally'?"



"I mean that I've known you were gay even before I knew you were a shinigami." He had on that smug, know-it-all look he's so fond of. "It was really very obvious."



Chad went over and, after thanking him, took the bag and put it on the counter. Ishida took a seat on my right.



"Was there, perhaps, an impetus for this sudden declaration?" he asked. "Or did I interrupt before you could declare your love for Sado here?"



I flustered at that; I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks all the way up to my ears. "N-no," I stuttered. "It's not like that."



"Oh?" He gave me this pointed look like he didn't believe me.



"I thought. . . I just needed someone to talk about it with."



"So you picked the guy most likely to say nothing."



"Well, to be honest, I didn't exactly plan anything. It just sorta happened."



"Then that takes us back to my other question." He leaned in close, uncomfortably so. "What motivated this confession of yours?"



It felt like he knew everything that had happened the previous night. There was no way he could, I knew. Unless he had talked with Izuru--but Ishida didn't associate with shinigami, so there was no way he could know. But that didn't change the fact that I felt like Ishida held the upper hand. Damn him and his perceptiveness. "What makes you think that's any of your business?"



"Maybe I'd like to make it my business." He leaned in even closer, held my chin in his slender hand; looked me straight in the eyes. "Maybe you're not the only one with a secret." His face contorted into this weird grin, like a predator looking longingly at his prey.



"What are you trying to say?"



Chad had, in the meantime, managed to merge with the shadows in the background. Not unlike a ninja, but creepier.



"Are you really going to make me spell it out for you?"



"Spell what out?" At this point, I was trying my damnedest to ignore the obvious.



No longer putting up with the futility of mere words, he closed the distance between our faces and stole my lips in a kiss, short and to the point. "Do you understand, now?"



I stuttered in reply. I could be really graceful when I wanted to be, really. I could feel the color returning to my face; I bet it matched my hair.



"You're so cute when you do that," he teased. "Especially how your cheeks match your hair."



"I-I think maybe I should go." I stumbled up from my seat and fumbled with my coat on the hanger. "Th-thanks for listening, Chad. I appreciate it. Really." I turned to face Ishida. "And I guess I'll see you when you're feeling better. You're obviously ill right now."



Only, before I could properly exit Ishida had grabbed me by my coat. "Ichigo, you're not getting out of this that easily. You are going to sit down and talk. Something is obviously bothering you." His once predatory grin changed into a more fraternal worry. He shoved me forcefully back down into my seat, coat still on. He towered above me, arms crossed menacingly. "Now talk."



I mumbled and stuttered for a bit, coherent thought having left me with Ishida's sudden change in countenance. "I-I don't know what to say."



"Just tell us what happened." Chad had since reemerged from the shadows to join the conversation.



"Right. Well. . . If you really want to know. . . I might have just a bit of a crush on Izuru." I paused for a bit to let it sink in and thought I heard Ishida mutter something about at least it not being that idiot Renji.



"Go on."



"And I might have been kinda following him around town while he was on a date with Renji."



"More like stalking, Ishida said."



"Whatever. So I was following them around, but then I lose track of them when this hollow shows up. Afterwards I just wander around town for a bit. I make sure to leave out the bit about the strip club. Can't have them knowing all of my secrets. I had pretty much given up, but when I pass by this motel I can sense Renji inside one of the rooms. But without Izuru. I can see him through the window and he's passed out on the bed and looks pretty hammered. So I get worried, right?



"When he answers the door he can hardly stand or speak, but from what I could tell he had gotten pretty violent with Izuru. I ask him where he went, but he doesn't know. I run off and find him pretty beat up--mostly bruises, thank God--in this alley. He's pretty friendly considering the circumstances, and I offer to take him to my dad's clinic to get him patched up.



"After my dad was done with him we started talking for a bit. I, uh, might have said some stuff about how he shouldn't stay with Renji and how I would treat him better." My face was, by then, burning again. I wonder that it isn't permanently a bright crimson. "And, uh, th-then I might've kinda. . . you know. . ."



The words fumbled out of my mouth as I got to the most embarrassing part.



"I-I. . . I kissed him."



At which point they both started laughing.



"And then he slapped me."



They laughed even harder.



"And then he made this comment about how I was so young and how I couldn't possibly understand. When I woke up this morning, he was gone."



"I-I'm sorry to hear that." Ishida's face was still shaded a light red from his laughing fit. "Really, I am."



Chad nodded in agreement.



I realized something.



"Uryu--"



It took me a moment after beginning before I found the words to continue: "Since when are you gay?"



"I was beginning to wonder when you were going to ask that. I thought maybe you'd forgotten."



"Or I was distracted by your sudden advances. . ."



"When it comes to you, it's easiest to just go ahead and spell it out as obviously as possible. In my experience, at least. But, if you must know, I've known of my orientation for a while. I'm perceptive like that."



"Would you like some tea?" Chad was holding a teapot, but I couldn't recall his having made it.



"Yes, thank you," Ishida said.



I declined.



"So, then," Ishida said. "You're acting like the world's ended because you got turned down by the guy you're stalking for being too young?"



Chad grunted in agreement.



"And it's our job, as your friends, to cheer you up, right?"



Chad nodded affirmatively.



"In that case," Ishida said with a particularly mischievous grin, "I believe I have a plan."