Stopping for Death

A/N: I apologize in advance for the liberties I took with Byakuya\'s history.



Fields of Grazing Grain



“When I was a young child, my family would frequent a particular orchard, which no longer exists, during the fall months. The entire affair required a good measure of planning on my mother\'s part, but each visit was always executed flawlessly. I had a brother back then, and we would play throughout the orchard while our parents rested on a blanket in the shade of the principle tree. But, rather than such a general impression, I intend to relate one, specific event etched deeply into my memory.



“Evening was approaching, and my brother and I were engrossed in a game of hide-and-seek. It was my turn to hide, but, as I sat perched among one of the innumerable trees, I remembered our mother had instructed us to return by sunset. The sky above might have been streaked with colors, but my only intent as I ran beneath the ancient branches was to return to my mother\'s arms. In my hand I held the apple given me earlier as a snack. I took a bite, my first, as a reached the clearing where lay the hill atop which sat my parents as always.



“At the clearing\'s edge, I could just make out my parents\' outlines in the distance, but they were very much more animated than was usual. But I was young and knew no better, and so I proceeded undeterred. I arrived at the scene in time to see my mother strike my father across the cheek, leaving a reddened mark in her hand\'s wake. My father and I stood in stunned silence, though for inherently different reasons.



“My mother then broke down into tears and fell prostrate to the ground. \'I\'m sorry,\' she said. But my father cut her off. \'No,\' he said, \'I\'m the one who should be sorry. It\'s my fault.\' He reached down to comfort her before he noticed me standing off to the side. \'Why\'d mommy hit you?\' I asked. \'Because,\' he replied, \'I deserved it.\' The entire ordeal was left at that and discussion of it was forbidden.



“I say \'forbidden\', but what I mean is that our family simply did not discuss matters of that nature, and it was understood that such things were not to be talked about. I never, until this moment, discussed it with anybody. Preserving my family\'s honor and traditions was my highest priority, even as a child. But that day was my first glimpse of my parents in a light anything but puritanical.”



Byakuya stopped, for a moment, in his telling. He reached down and took another sip of his tea, which had cooled somewhat since his last. Renji sat in silence.



“Several years later, when that incident was but a shadow at the edges of my memory, when I had been accepted into the Shinigami academy, I recall another, though dissimilar, occurrence. My brother, several years my junior, had always looked up to me, but the thing he abhorred most was violence. He was a pacifist of the first degree, and he took my acceptance poorly. He had the notion the he should be a poet, and he spent much of his time outside writing haiku. But my mother was interminably proud of my accomplishment and forever looked forward to my eventual captain-ship.



“My father was mostly indifferent to the news, though there was the hint of a smile at the edge of his lips. But, as I said, my brother did not take the news well. We got into an argument that night at supper, the details of which I shall summarize for you. His argument: that the shinigami were an organization founded on violence whose only purpose was to fight and kill; that a shinigami\'s destiny was to die in battle; and that, no matter a person\'s intentions upon joining, the shinigami political structure bred corruption. My argument: that the shinigami served to restore balance to the world by guiding departed souls to the afterlife; that, if left unchecked, the hollows would surely kill us all; and that, as a Kuchiki, it was my duty to serve Soul Society in such capacity as I was able. Our actual discourse consisted of much more yelling amidst many more expletives. We did not speak for several years.



“Before I continue, I would like to point out that I held my brother in the highest regard. His was a kind and gentle soul, and I valued his opinion above all others. This separation, then, served two purposes: firstly, it sent me into a brief but deep melancholy where I could do nothing for weeks except weep at my loss; and, secondly, to strengthen my resolve and my self-reliance, by forcing me to make decisions for myself.



“The next incident concerned my parents. Theirs was a troubled marriage, and it deteriorated by the second. Once I had been promoted to a seated officer, I returned home to give them the good news, but I was, instead, met with my mother collapse and beaten on the stairs. My father was in his study, imbibing what alcohol he could find. He carried bruises as well, though fainter than my mother\'s. I left immediately and tried my best to forget the ordeal entirely, as I was raised to do. But seeing my parents in such a situation, one likely caused by anger and a lack of communication, made me think of my brother. He lived, at the time, in a secluded place, which I happened to know.



“The next morning I paid him a visit. He was surprised at my unannounced visit, to say the least. I found him there together with his boyfriend, my then superior officer. It was a fairly awkward scene, but I managed at last to convince him of how much I valued our relationship. He reciprocated and told me how his views towards shinigami had lightened over the years due to his falling in love with one. When my superior officer left, I noticed a bruise forming on his arm. \'Oh, that,\' he said. \'I just bumped it against the bedpost last night.\' \'Oh,\' I said as realization dawned. But that his relationship with that man was causing him such injury worried me, and rightly so.



“I visited him as I was able several times over the following weeks. After a few months, however, he disappeared. I asked my superior officer where my brother might be, but he didn\'t know, either. \'He just up and vanished,\' he said. His explanation did not satiate my curiosity, however. I had seen the bruises my brother always brushed off as accidental, as his fault. I could see my superior officer\'s over-possessiveness. I challenged his assertion, but he merely ordered me away.



“That night, I searched for him. When I found him, deep in the dark woods near a creek, he was covered in bruises and barely hanging to life. He screamed out in pain when I tried to pick him up. He was dying, and there was nothing I could do about it except watch. \'Who did this?\' I asked, but he refused to answer. \'Was it him?\' At last, he nodded. I stayed with him the rest of the night, long after life had left him. \'I love you,\' I repeated over and over until he was gone.



“At daybreak, I went in search of my superior officer, the man who had beaten and killed my brother. And, when I found him, I challenged him to a fight. He did not live to see the next day.”



He took another sip. In the background, the metronome ticking of the clock counted out the hour. Renji remained in a mass of silence huddled upon himself sitting before his captain.



Byakuya began again. “I hope my words have illuminated you. You are not to leave this room until I instruct you to.”



Renji nodded.



“During your stay, I hope you will reflect upon what I have told you tonight.”



He left the room without so much as a farewell. He walked along through the garden to the wing of his manor where his room was.