Reflection

This chapter has been extended to the full-version.

Chapter 20

Orihime ran a lot faster than Ichigo would have given her credit for. He had been chasing after her for what appeared to be forty minutes and the girl was still in the lead, zigzagging through crowds and rushing through neighborhoods. It was a miracle that she managed to dodge cars and people in her mad fleeing. He nearly had three heart attacks during their furious running whenever she had a close brush with death by speeding cars that didn’t slow down for her.

I shouldn’t have said anything like that to her! I’m such an idiot!, He gritted his teeth, willing more power into his legs. His physical body was fit, but it was nothing compared with his spiritual form. His material body was heavier and more clumsy, having none of the lightness and swiftness of his shinigami form. Even keeping up with Orihime was a chore.

Just follow her until she stops! She has to get tired eventually!, His legs were burning in strain as his feet beat heavily on the sidewalk. She was a good distance ahead of him, her ginger hair waving like a flag behind her. She hadn’t even bothered looking back at him to see if he was still pursuing her.

What is wrong with her?

That was something he had been asking himself during their running. When he had gone into the abandoned building, he had seen her so lost and melancholic that he had instinctively believed that it was due to having suffered his Hollow’s sexual abuse, only to have her say that she missed the monster. He had reacted in rage that was fueled by jealousy. He still didn’t know if he loved her, or if it was just sexual curiosity, but he didn’t like that she preffered him.

There was no way to dampen his feelings. He had been telling himself that she had a right to choose whatever path she wanted, but his body still ached and his heart still thumped painfully in his chest whenever he thought of her being with the evil within him and enjoying it. It was a physical sign of distress, obviously. He couldn’t help how his body and thoughts ran wild at just imagining them together.

Last time… She had wanted him. She has probably always wanted him.

The Hollow had made him watch how willing Orihime was. He had seen her fear and anticipation when he had pinned her to the wall and how she moaned and desperately moved against him once his Hollow had drove himself deeply into her core. She hadn’t uttered his name… No, she had whimpered in pleasure, “Hollow-san…!”. That was the one giving her pleasure, not him. She had never thought of him. Never fantasized that it was him fucking her with that anxious beastly abandon…

Rough and completely deprived, the Hollow always pushed her to the limits of her human body and she only wanted more. Ichigo wondered if Orihime had ever felt shame over his body being used to pleasure hers… If she once saw him that way.

He knew the answer to that… The Hollow was someone recognizable to her. Her body only demanded that dark sickening energy. He would never understand why she was so fascinated, obsessed even, of that Hollow. He was ashamed of even having such a creature within him at all…

‘Why do you bother anymore, King? You ain’t helpin’! Just lemme outta here already! I know exactly what will make her come around!,’ the warped demonic voice in his head barked out an arrogant laugh that only made his running become quicker and more fierce as his lungs started to burn.

SHUT. UP!, he grounded out in a yell only to have the Hollow snort conceitedly before falling into silence.

That bastard… He was the one to blame for all of this. If he hadn’t started toying with Orihime, dirtying her mind with things she couldn’t begin to comprehend, Ichigo wouldn’t be so anxiously following her, silently hoping that she would reach a safe place away from potential harms in the street. Deep down, he still wished for her happiness and saw the pain his ignorance had caused her, but the Hollow wasn’t the one who could change that. No, that cackling diabolical white version of himself was only disturbing her and making her already confused mind become even more riddled.

She used to want me…

His inner words earned him a tsch! from the Hollow inside of him.

Maybe that was what he missed. The silent unconditional admiration. Before the Hollow had started ‘playing’ with Orihime, he had seen her as just a friend. Sure, she was beautiful… One of the few women that easily took any guy’s breath away, but her childish personality had been what prevented him from seeing her on a sexual level. He would have felt like he was abusing her innocence in making a lusty approach. She had always been too shy and somewhat oblivious of things kids their age usually talked about and did.

The Hollow had been her first everything. The first one to mistreat and plunge her into a world full of depraved carnality, the first to kiss her, the first to fuck her… Well, he was the one that had initiated Orihime into things everyone around her had always done in secret and said in hushed whispers among others of the same experience.

He had forced her to grow up and see what others had concealed. In fact, Ichigo almost thought that Orihime probably had more experience than him or Rukia after the Hollow’s attentiveness.

Sick asshole!

The girl up ahead of him took a sharp turn into a recognizable street. Ichigo felt a bit of relief and apprehension. It was the same street her apartment building was on. He didn’t think that she was in good enough shape to be alone. That was the main reason why he had been chasing her. The feeling that she could end up doing something stupid in her depression.

Please…, He really cared for her, in spite of everything. Orihime didn’t deserve anymore pain and her current attitude was escalating his anxiety. If she went into her apartment, he would knock down her door if necessary. He wasn’t going to leave her alone.

“INOUE…! WAIT UP…!” he shouted hoarsely.

Her legs pumped like pistons at the sound of his voice and he silently cursed as her building quickly came into view.

FUCK!

‘You really are a tactless piece of shit!’ the Hollow spat snidely at him.

Ignoring the voice, he didn’t stop running when she completely passed and avoided turning to her building. She continued running down the street…

Tatsuki’s house!

That should have relieved him, but he knew that she was only going over there to avoid listening to him, so he stayed hot on her trail.

Eventually she reached the quaint little two-story house and quickly ran up the front steps without missing a beat to end up frantically banging at the front door.

DAMMIT INOUE!

The door she was punching opened because he could see her hastily shouldering her way in, her shapely form disappearing out of the front porch.

He didn’t stop running until reaching the bottom step. Tatsuki was already waiting for him with crossed arms and a scowl, the door still open behind her only showing shadows. Inoue had probably rushed up to her room already.

“What hell did you say to her now, Ichigo?” was the first thing out of her mouth as she eyed him darkly.

Panting, resting a hand on the veranda of the steps leading to her house, he choked out, “I… I just need to talk to her…!” He could feel his shirt sticking to his body and once hot sweat that had turned cold, trailing over his flushed face. His mouth was dry due to him nearly holding his breath during most of the chase.

“Well from how she nearly mowed me over to get inside the house, you’re obviously the last person she wants to see right now,” Tatsuki said flatly, her cool brown eyes unchanging.

“Damn it, Tatsuki!” he snapped with a grimace, running a hand over his sweat-dampened hair. “Just let me talk to her!” his voice was getting a distressed edge. He truly felt that he couldn’t leave until clearing things up with Orihime. The girl inside must be thinking that he was the biggest asshole that had ever lived.

“I really need to fix things with her,” he whispered and swallowed dryly when Tatsuki just stared at him radiating hostility.

Her stiff shoulders relaxed slightly, though her hardened features didn’t lose any sharpness.

“I’ll… crap!” she shot a glance over her shoulder before looking at him, “I’ll talk to her… You would just mess things up again.”

“But-”

“No buts, Ichigo!” Tatsuki held her hand up to stop him and closed her eyes before she pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed tiredly. Speaking in a more subdued tone without opening her eyes, she added, “The last thing she needs is someone recriminating everything she does.”

“I wasn’t-!”

“Don’t explain yourself! She’s smarter than you think!” she snapped her eyes open to give him a pointed glare, removing her hand from her face. “All she needs is someone that understands, not someone who yells and makes her feel like she’s clueless. If you had been more observant, she wouldn’t be going through this!”

“I…” he trailed off, dragging his hand off the veranda to have it fall limply at his side.

Tatsuki’s eyes flickered in something that was a mix between pity and anger.

“I’ll talk to her…,” her tone was gentler and lower than before, “What you really need to do right now is fix things in your end.”

“Fix things in my end?” he asked hollowly.

“Yeah… She’s been wondering a lot of things and I think its due time for her to know them… It’ll make her feel better.”

“Wondering things…?”

“Sorry, Ichigo,” his friend shook her head, closing her eyes. “I-I shouldn’t even be talking to you about this… Just fix,” her eyes open to look at him solemnly, “things.” After saying those words, she turned around and quietly walked into the shadows of her house, closing the door behind her, leaving a confused Ichigo staring blankly at the lacquered wood of her door.

Fix things… What could I possibly fix if everything is broken already?

Creasing his brows together, he turned away from Tatsuki’s now vacant front porch. He had always wanted to find a way to protect his friends and to keep them from suffering. Now… He was lost. What could he do to mend this current problem? Orihime didn’t even want to see him.

The Hollow…

From the very beginning, he had been competing with the dark spirit and he had never known what the continuous battle was all about. He finally understood what was that had fueled it.

Competition to see who would always be on top of everything in life. From the start the Hollow had always tried to prove his superiority. If Orihime had been the Hollow’s main goal in that twisted game he played then Ichigo had always been in the losing end because…

He’s won!, his hands clenched into fists at the realization.

The Hollow had won!

***

"He's gone now," Orihime stiffened at hearing Tatsuki entering and closing the door of her bedroom.

Closing her eyes and squeezing the sheets on her friend's bed, she felt a bit of relief but at the same time a sense of loss.

Kurosaki-kun doesn't understand...

Feeling the bed dip, she didn't look at Tatsuki even though she knew full well that the other girl wanted to talk about what had happened in the belief that she was suffering which wasn' that far from the truth.

Orihime was indeed suffering and had been for a long time. She was finally coming to grips with what she wanted and desperately yearned to fight for it and no one was showing her any support thinking that she was delusional.

Maybe she was delusional; a kind of madness that she enjoyed and somehow completed the blanks of malice within her. Everything happening around her wouldn't hurt so much if all of her friends hadn't turned on her, making her desire for independence seem dirty and childish.

"I guess you don't want to talk about it, huh?" Tatsuki sighed softly, her voice low and wry.

"I-I thought he would at least try to understand why I need him so much," she whispered, hating how her voice quivered. The Hollow had strengthened her as odd as it may look to all others. He didn't coddle her or speak gentle words. He just said things bluntly without bothering to make it sound pretty for her sensitive ears.

Ears that had been sensitized by years of her friends' over-protectiveness.

"Do you... do you think you're in love with him?" there was an edge of dismay and disbelief in Tatsuki's slow question. It was as if she didn't want to hurt her feelings by doubting her sanity again.

Her eyes shot open in surprise.

Love?

Sitting up sharply, she looked at her friend that wore a serious expression

"Love him?" the words sounded foreign to her.

"Well," Tatsuki looked away with a blush. "From the way you've been defending him and crying for him, I kinda' think that you have to love him, you know? He's the only one you've thought about this whole time and from what happened that day that Kuchiki went nuts, he was probably worried."

"What makes you think...," Orihime swallowed at what she was implying,"think he was worried?"

"I don't know," she lifted a shoulder, making a face. "Just something tells me that. Ichigo worries about you like a brother or a friend, so that Hollow had to have some of that rub off on him. Besides... He always finds you and only you, putting Ichigo's body through so much trouble. It can't be easy for him to take over like that if it's difficult for Ichigo to come back right...?"

Orihime gasped, but doubt kept her from getting her hopes up. That day... the Hollow had been so angry that Rukia had struck her and then... then when Ichigo had started to repossess his own body the Hollow had seemed so anxious, not only showing physical pain, but something deeper.

He was trying to keep things from worsening between her and Rukia. Even though he had enjoyed rubbing things on the small shinigami's face, he had obviously been defending Orihime in his own strange way, calling things out to smooth over her sins. Setting things straight as they should have been from the very begining.

But... He hasn't sought me out anymore.

"No...," her voice cracked, her eyes stinging uncomfortably. "He... He only used me. Kurosaki-kun told me that."

"Geez!" Tatsuki dragged a hand over her face in exasperation, puzzling her. "So that was what that idiot said?! I should have punched him when I had the chance; what a thoughtless ass! You've been moping around because of that thing of his and he's been all emo because of his crazy ex and he goes and takes it out on you?!"

"B-but, Tatsuki-chan, it's not Kurosaki-kun's-"

"I know, I know!" her friend groaned. "It's not entirely his fault."

Orihime relaxed her tense shoulders only to be surprised by her next words.

"We're all at fault here."

"What?"

Looking at her and smiling sadly, she explained calmly, "We've been selfish when it comes to you. All of us have. Me in thinking that you can't handle tough stuff, Kuchiki in walking all over you when it came to Ichigo and Ichigo...," she huffed out a sigh and then rolled her eyes with a soft snort, "in not noticing you until it was too late. You've been blaming yourself for what we did, Orihime. This was bound to happen sometime with or without the Hollow. He just... made it come a lot quicker. Talk about a swift kick in the ass, right? I really have to hand it to him. I wouldn't have noticed what his true intentions were until everything started crumbling."

His true intentions?

"You hadn't noticed it, did you?" Tatsuki eyed her curiously and Orihime blushed, shyly looking away because whenever she had encountered the Hollow he had just wanted sex. However the few times he had bothered to take the time to actually talk...

He had pushed her to do what she felt like, not what others wanted, but what she desired.

"I guess... he did do some things," she finally admitted it, having a hard time in coming to grips with his strange actions.

That still doesn't mean he cares... That fact was what kept any happiness from unfurling in her chest. Not once had he spoken of caring and on the last day they had been together he had scoffed at the very idea of loving her.

Am I really that unworthy of love? So pitiful that even a Hollow finds it funny to love someone like me...?, shaking her head as her friend quietly watched her inner turmoil, Orihime then decided that she wasn't going to be strung along like a dead weight anymore. That was what had caused the present problem in the first place. Her inability to deal with conflict of emotion and low self-esteem.

She had to stop being a pushover who had others think for her. And that meant that the harsh words she had said to Ichigo at the abandoned building weren't going to be dwelled on any longer. They had been her truth and no one had to apologize for being honest, so no crime had been committed.

"You're really a good friend, Tatsuki-chan," she whispered and managed to smile brightly at her friend that widened her eyes before smiling back.

"I wasn't before, but it's not too late to start," Tatsuki muttered, her smile losing some of its light.

"But you have been a great friend! You've tried your best to understand what I was feeling from when all of this started when no one else thought of doing it! That's what makes you a really great friend!" Orihime defended passionately, a frown marring her pretty face.

"Honestly, Orihime-chan, no matter what happens you still manage to see the good in people. You are a lot stronger than you let on."

She blinked in confusion. Goodness had never appeared to be a strength to her, but considering that in spite of all her problems she still existed, being able to smile, care for her friends while giving them some reason and not thinking too lowly of them, she did suppose that her view of things made her different. Unique... Something that other people wouldn't have been capable of doing.

I guess... I am stronger than I think.

And the realization of that strength that was once believed to be a weakness, made some of the heaviness and sadness that had been consuming her disappear, giving her room to breathe again.

***

"It's sure cold this year," Kisuke remarked to his feline companion while sitting in front of his shoten.

"You wouldn't be so cold if it weren't for half of your chest sticking out like that," Yoruichi replied dryly back to him.

"Well!" he snapped his fan open with a flourish, pretending to be offended, "I can't help it that my gorgeous chest likes to be looked at! And besides," a teasing tone entered his tone making the cat's golden eyes narrow in suspicion, "you're one to talk, since you're practically walking around naked, Yoruichi-san."

"But I have fur," she retorted flatly.

I just love riling her up. It's so rare! Grinning behind his paper fan, he wasn't all too surprised to see a lone tall male figure walking heading their way. Widening his grin until all teeth showed, without removing his fan (he liked looking mysterious for dramatic flare), he yelled out cheerfully towards the dejected looking teenager, "What brings you to my humble yet infamous shop, Kurosaki-san?!"

"Cut the act, Urahara!" he simply snapped before stopping in front of them. Kisuke still smiled, having a pretty good idea why Ichigo would resort to coming to him. "You know why I'm here!"

It was about time. He took too long in making a decision. He really isslow. For awhile now he had been feeling a certain spirit energy clashing with a very familiar softer female one. It was an oddity for a inner Hollow to come out to consort with a human, going far enough to possess the body of it's host, but it wasn't impossible.

"Is that so?" he felt Yoruichi's eyes on him, wondering what they were talking about.

"The Hollow... I need to make him stop," the words left Ichigo's mouth with some difficulty. He knew perfectly well what was needed to be done which was why he had come there. He was just in denial.

Ooooh, he thinks he can 'stop' the Hollow... That's a joke.

Snickering behind his fan, he suddenly yelped when a very irate Ichigo grabbed him the front of his robe and pulled him close to his face.

"I. Want. Him. To. Stop," he gritted out, his eyes glittering in angry determination.

"Um...," Kisuke began awkwardly, "You're starting to hurt me a bit, Kurosaki-san." And his hat was slipping off his head and that simply wouldn't do. He hated to get it dirty. Dry-cleaning it was too much of a hassle.

"And I'll hurt you some more if you don't get this thing out of me!"

Hardening his face, Kisuke's playful mood vanished, while easily prying the strong hands holding on to the front of his robe. Focusing his eyes on the clearly raging teen that was having a hard time standing there and asking for his help, he sighed before adjusting his hat.

"I'm going to help you get that Hollow out of you, but there's going to be a bit of a problem that you are going to have to deal with for a long time ."

"What?!" Ichigo edged impatiently.

"We'll probably need two things...," he trailed off, for once feeling some dread about the crime he was about to commit. It was purely scientific, yet the Soul Society wouldn't see it that way. He was breaking an unwritten law of common sense.

"Just tell me what those things are already! I want him out now!"

"First, we need Inoue-"

"No! I don't want her involved in this anymore!" slicing a hand in the air with cutting finality, Ichigo glared at him for even suggesting such a thing.

"Well, then, I guess we have to go to plan B."

This he won't like either.

"And what's that?" shifting uncomfortably in the front porch step, the shinigami's previous bite was waning off.

Kisuke didn't bother hiding his grin behind his fan this time.

"He'll need his own body."

***

Author's Note: To Bleach whore All is forgiven, but next time before jumping the gun and insulting a writer look at the publish dates of the fics beforehand (I ignored the other one for a full four months, longer time than this one) And the term closet perv is more in reference to shadow readers (which I guess you're not since you've reviewed unlike them. LOL). And as for the shadow readers. Those people have really started to get on my nerves and was one of the reasons why I almost wanted to quit writing altogether. If you are going to read something at least review or rate. The counter shows how many hits a fic receives and having dozens of people breezing by daily without showing some respect in acknowledging it is like saying that you aren't interested enough about reading it. This is an issue that has been plaguing all of the writers in AFF. We write to please others and expect to hear people's opinions on the fic's contents.

Anyways! Hope people likey and sorry for taking so long. I had alot of issues that needed fixing including computer problems!