The Broken Souls of the Seireitei

A/N: Hello all. I really struggled with this, because I wasn't sure of how I wanted this to go. Since I never really liked/respected Kurotsuchi, I decided this should be kinda campy and dark comedy-ish. And here we are. More will come soon, and all plot holes shall be filled in due time. Thanks.




Matsumoto yawned and scratched at her belly. Kyoraku’s ‘Secret Special People’s Club’ as he had named it was actually a great location; an old storage building in the 8th division. The way the roof was made allowed for leisurely and unnoticed sunbathing, and a small door to the left provided delicious and ample sake.

“This place is great!” She exclaimed, sipping at the jug again. Kyoraku nodded and brought a finger to his lips. Matsumoto winced and nodded.

“Was I too loud?”

“Yes. I’m sleeping, cant’cha tell?” He winked at her from underneath his straw hat, making her push at his face. She leaned against his shoulder and sighed, closing her eyes. They lay on the roof beside each other for a moment and then-

“Whaa?!!” Kyoraku said, bolting up, making Matsumoto’s head fall and hit the roof.

“Goddamnit!” She screamed in frustration, as she was nearly asleep.

“Shinji is here,” Kyoraku observed, turning his head toward the 12th division.

“Shinji?! But I thought…” She trailed off, noticing Kyoraku staring at her. He smiled when she stopped speaking. “What did you think, Ran-Chan?”

Matsumoto was caught off guard and tried to be cute. “Uh…that Shinji wasn’t supposed to be here. In the Seireitei. Now. Um…or ever?”

Kyoraku laughed and offered her his arm. “Come now, I know you better than that. You’ve been keeping secrets, even after I gave you some great sake. But,” He said, placing a finger on her about-to-protest lips, “We’re gonna go over to the 12th.”

“But Shun-sama, I’m drunk.” She even wobbled as she stood, but got no sympathy.

“No you aren’t. Careful, before we fall over off the roof. Or you, rather. Besides, we will walk really slow and you can tell me why Shinji is here.” He patted her hand and gave her a small shove towards the stairs to the ground.

“Aw man,” She grumbled, wishing she had stayed in her office bound to her chair.
*********************

Renji shoved past his officers and stood gape-mouthed at the former 5th division captain. “SHINJI?!!”

Shinji smiled at him, scratching his neck. “Abarai-kun! How are you?” Shinji’s brows knitted and his face looked dark. “Did you do your math homework?” His voice sounded hopeful, hoping to procure coveted answers as to if X= 7, and XY is 70, then what would Y be? After he screamed out “Why do I have to find ‘Y‘,” Hiyori had hit him in the head, and he blacked out.

Renji scratched his neck. “Nah, but Ichigo did his homework. I think I might still have it on me…” Renji started reaching in his pockets, searching for the sweaty balled up piece of paper. Yumichika grinned, a few feet away. Renji had obviously forgotten he had passed the flouncy man the stolen answers.

Kurotsuchi growled and stomped his feet. “What is the meaning of this? You come here under the pretense of a fight, but use this as an opportunity to share homework with Abarai fukutaicho? Idiots, all of you! I’m leaving!” Kurotsuchi turned to walk away, but was blocked by Komamura taicho and Hisagi taicho.

“You aren’t going anywhere, Mayuri-san,” Komamura growled, still disgusted over what the clown taicho had done. Mayuri backed off, glaring at them. “So what is the plan, Shinji? To kill me? As if you ever could,” Mayuri haughtily scoffed, reddening the former taicho’s ears. Shinji’s brow darkened further, and a few people started to cough from the reiatsu being released.

“I can’t kill you? Surely you jest,” Shinji said nonchalantly, making Mayuri gulp. He advanced a step, but was halted by a red and a yellow flash.

“Kurotsuchi Mayuri! I challenge…you…to…WHY ARE YOU HERE?!!!” Urahara screamed at Shinji, flailing his arms. By this time Matsumoto and Kyoraku walked up, and got a few stares, mainly from members of their respective divisions. Matsumoto nodded to Kyoraku and walked over to stand close by Kenpachi, who didn’t look at her, but visibly smiled at her closeness. Byakuya and Ichigo had also walked up, giving each other relieved smiles as they stood near each other.

Shinji grinned at Yoruichi and Urahara, who was frowning at him, mainly his outfit since they had worn the same soft butter yellow color. “Well, well, well. If it isn’t Kip and Lafawnduh!” Shinji sang happily, making Renji, Ichigo, Matsumoto, and Yumichika laugh.

Yoruichi never missed a beat. “Well if we are Kip and Lafawnduh, with your teeth that makes you Napoleon Dynamite.” The same ones in the crowd that had laughed then ‘OOOOOHED’, making Shinji blush and cover his mouth.

“I’m sensitive about my teeth, you hussy,” He snapped angrily, his eyes glowing bright. Yoruichi smirked. “At least my clothes can fit me and I’m not a total FAT ASS like you,” Shinji snipped, nodding towards the broken zipper on Yoruichi’s jacket.

“I don’t have to wear clothes! I can be naked!” Yoruichi screamed, bits of red cloth flying. Kyoraku gasped, and Kenpachi reached his hand over Yachiru’s eyes, who was squirming trying to see nakedness.

“She has gained just a pinch of weight,” Byakuya whispered to Ichigo, making the teen nod. Both of them froze when golden eyes were cast hatefully on them.

“Ha ha, Neko-sama is fat,” Mashiro sang, directing eyes up to a tall pillar on a nearby roof.

“Damn it! I told you to stay back!” Shinji screamed, his mask cracking.

“Oh. You did, didn’t you?” Mashiro sang, sitting on the ledge and swinging her legs. Shinji glared at her and shook his head. Lisa, Hiyori, and Kensei all appeared to sit on the edge of the roof, even having chips and candy to snack on while watching the fight.

Ichigo walked forward, wanting the circus to end. “Here,” He said, taking off his haori and wrapping it around Yoruichi. “Why are you here?” He asked Shinji, hating the glint in the older man’s eye.

“Well, after I heard the terrible news about Kurotsuchi fukutaicho, I figured things here had gotten really lax and I said to myself ‘Self!’,”

“Self!” Mashiro and Lisa cried out gaily.

“I don’t agree with these politics. So perhaps if I come here and carve my initials into that there clown’s face, that maybe things ‘round here could change.”

Urahara cast murderous eyes on Ichigo. “Did you tell him to wear a yellow suit and come here?” He hissed, needing an answer. Ichigo’s eyes were wide. “No! And how would I know what color you were gonna wear?”

“It matches my eyes!” Urahara barked, angry at being one-upped by the Vizard.

“There needs to be less clothing coordination, more killing rapists, ne?” Ichigo whispered harshly, nodding at Kurotsuchi, who was still trying to get past Komamura and Hisagi.

“I’ll fight him,” Urahara declared, stepping forward. Shinji smirked. “Do what you must, but it won’t make Sousuke love you,” He said smugly.

Urahara advanced menacingly. “What did you say, you scum bucket piece of shit?”

Shinji smiled evilly. “I SAID do what you must, but it won’t make Sousuke love you. More than me,” He added, making the former captain growl in anger and unsheathe Benihime.

“Sing, Benihime!” Urahara yelled, preparing to charge Shinji.

“NO!” Ichigo screamed, grabbing Urahara by the shoulders and swinging him hard back towards Mayuri.

“Let me through! Let me through you bastards! I am a captain and you will respect me! Let me-,”

-SQUELCH-

Komamura, Hisagi, and Kurotsuchi both looked down when they heard that noise. The confused man turned around to see Shinji, Ichigo, and especially Urahara staring at him as something blue quickly started to stain his haori. Benihime’s blade stuck a little ways out from his chest, the hilt of her quite not touching his back. He looked down at the blade, and brought his hand to his face, taking his mask off. His eyes locked with Unohana’s, who had just come to join the crowd as he was stabbed.

“Is this how it feels? What I’ve done to people? Amazing,” He whispered, still staring at her. His eyes never left her as he fell to the ground, his blue blood quickly soaking the sand below him.

Ichigo stared at Kurotsuchi for a moment and then at Shinji and Urahara. This was not the way things were supposed to have gone. Shinji noticed the conflicted way that Ichigo was looking at them, and blamed Urahara. “Are you happy now?” Shinji asked flatly, sneering at the former captain. The scientist was mute as he pulled his zampakuto out of Kurotsuchi’s body, wiping the blue blood on the one of the haori sleeves.

“Take back what you said,” Urahara muttered darkly, not looking at Shinji.

“Fuck you and him,” The Vizard declared boldly. Urahara opened his mouth to say more, but Kensei and Lisa jumped down to each hold one of Shinji’s arms.

“I think this has gone on long enough. The man is dead, everyone is happy,” Kensei noted quietly, looking at Shinji. Ukitake overheard the comment and looked over at Unohana, who wore a peculiar look on her face. It was almost a look of indecisiveness.

“Is everyone happy?” He murmured to himself, making Rukia look at him, but not comment.

“What is the meaning of all this?!!” An angry and old voice made all raise their heads as Yamamoto stood in front of them, glaring at Kurotsuchi’s body. “Who killed him?”

Everyone was silent.

Yamamoto banged his cane against the ground. “Who killed Kurotsuchi taicho?” He asked loudly, glaring fiercely. “I demand an answer!” Urahara looked at him and bowed respectfully. “It was I that killed him, Soutaicho.”

Yamamoto glared at him, and then at each Vizard. “None of you are allowed here,” He snapped, banging his cane again. Yoruichi stepped forward and bowed. “Respectfully, sotaicho, we were summoned here.”

Yamamoto’s mouth curled into an ugly expression. “Summoned? By whom? I demand to know the conspirators of this plot!” He demanded. Byakuya cast a furtive glance at Matsumoto, mentally telling her to keep her trap closed. Zaraki looked more upset by the fight (or lack thereof) than anything else. Yoruichi shook her head. “It doesn’t matter who came to us. We heard that you were getting lax in your judgment and that it needed to be corrected. Do you disagree?” She challenged, looking at him directly. Yamamoto glared back at her angrily.

“How dare you shame your family by lowering yourself to such a nefarious deed! Kisuke-kun has slain one of his former brethren, a cowardly blow to the back at that! What honor was in that?”

Yoruichi scoffed at him. “What honor was in you letting that crazed maniac rape and sodomize his daughter for fun? Where was the honor there? In her bruises? Perhaps he left his honor inside of her when he came! Piece of shit!” She yelled, kicking dust onto Kurotsuchi’s corpse.

“Wench! How dare you disrespect me! I’ll teach you a lesson you’ll never forget!” Yamamoto flash stepped to Yoruichi, but was blocked by Shinji, Urahara, Byakuya, and Kensei.

Yamamoto was taken aback. “Kuchiki taicho? You would stand against me? What would Ginrei-sama say?”

Byakuya’s face went rigid. “Ojisama would be proud of me. I cannot and will not say the same for you.”

Yamamoto sneered. “It sounds as though you’d like to take a trip to the Nest of Maggots.”

Byakuya bowed. “Everyday I am here, I am in a nest of maggots.”

Yamamoto brought his hand hard across Byakuya’s face, instantly turning the pale flesh a painful shade of red. A small trickle of blood leaked from his lip, and although he wasn’t looking at them, he could feel the anger from Renji, Rukia, and Ichigo. Especially Ichigo.

“Control your boy,” Yamamoto murmured to him, indicating the violent spike in Ichigo’s reiatsu. Byakuya allowed his eyes to land on his lover, shocked that the eyes he looked into were not brown, but a glowing shade of yellow, and that the roots of his hair were turning white.

Byakuya looked Yamamoto in the eye. “If you wish to calm Shirosaki, back away from myself and Yoruichi…now." Yamamoto scowled, but did what he was told, and gradually Ichigo’s reiatsu level lowered, but not to where it was before the fight. Yoruichi placed a gentle hand on Byakuya’s back, as a way of thanking him. Yamamoto glared at all of them before walking away, making sure to stay as far away from Ichigo as possible.

Ichigo looked at Shinji, spreading his hands out. “Why are you really here?” He asked, his voice somewhat shrill, a telltale sign that Shirosaki was teetering on the surface. Shinji sighed and shrugged. “Hiyori wasn’t comfortable with our deal. If I fought Kurotsuchi, then she wouldn’t have had to come back here.”

Urahara overheard and laughed. “So stupid. I was testing all of you. Do you really think that I’d return here to be a captain again? Like Kuchiki-san said, this place is a maggot’s nest.” He turned to walk away, and Yoruichi smiled at Kensei, Shinji, and gave Byakuya a brief hug. “Thanks,” She whispered.

Byakuya shrugged. “Sorry I said you gained weight.”

Yoruichi smiled. “I have, too much tuna and milk at midnight.” She smiled at him again and took off, walking to catch up with Urahara. On her way out, she passed by Soi Fon, who waved at her and genuinely smiled. Confused, Yoruichi waved back. Last she’d heard, Soi hated her. Maybe she felt Kurotsuchi’s reiatsu fade and was happy about it. She didn’t let the thought bother her as she waited for the hell butterfly to lead them back to the shop.

Kensei watched them leave and tugged on Shinji’s sleeve. “Perhaps we should take a cue and leave also, hmm?” Shinji nodded quietly and turned to walk away. Lisa took the opportunity to run over to Ichigo and give him a weak smile.

“I know that things kinda didn’t go as planned, but are you and Byakuya still going to make out for me?” Hiyori rolled her eyes and grabbed Lisa, pushing her away. “Ok then, just let me know!!” Lisa shouted over her shoulder, waving her arms. Byakuya gave Ichigo a look that made even Shirosaki back down, and scowled.

“Muguruma-sama! Please wait!” Shuuhei yelled, breaking from the crowd. The silver haired man paused and turned, looking stone faced at the young man that ran up to him.

“Yes?” The former taicho said patiently, looking at the ‘69’ on Shuuhei’s face. Shuuhei panted a bit and looked at the man in his eyes.

“Do you…do you remember…me?” The look of hope and eagerness in the boy’s eyes made Kensei chuckle. Mashiro peeked around him and stared at Shuuhei.

“He’s much too young for you. And his hair is messy,” She chided, sneering at him. Shuuhei glared at her and Kensei wordlessly gave her a shove toward the other Vizards. “Yes. I remember you. Your name was…Hikari?”

“Hisagi,” Shuuhei corrected, his voice noticeably less optimistic.

“Of course. And I see you’re wearing my old haori.” A tone of bitterness made his words sharp, and Shuuhei flinched.

“I’m sorry for the actions Tousen-sama took against you,” Shuuhei murmured, bowing his head. Kensei just stared at him.

“C’mon, let’s go! We’re gonna miss Bura-Rei!” Mashiro yelled.

“Oh shit, she’s right! Excuse me,” Matsumoto exclaimed, running off to get her cell phone where she could watch the show. Ukitake turned around to see his fukutaicho running off with Matsumoto and chuckled.

“Yeah, alright.” Kensei turned around and walked off, never knowing that Shuuhei had impulsively reached for him, his fingertips barely missing the back of the man’s jersey. Ikkaku came up behind him as a source of comfort, only to be cruelly shoved away. Yumichika watched Ikkaku’s shoulders sag, the sight of it making him sad for his friend.

Unohana had silently been staring at the corpse of her lover. Part of her felt sick and wanted to throw herself upon his body and grieve, and part of her wanted to laugh hysterically. Ukitake could sense her inner pain and walked over to her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Retsu are you alright?”

She opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out. She swallowed and nodded, looking away.

“Are you going to tell her?” Unohana recoiled from Ukitake, her eyes wide and frightened. “She won’t blame you for what happened.”

“You can’t promise that,” She countered tightly, tears threatening to fall. Ukitake looked around, noticing the crowd dispersing. “This isn’t the place, nor the time. I’ll send a hell butterfly to Kotetsu fukutaicho for her to gather a few members of the division to gather Kurtosuchi’s body. And then from there, your decisions are your own.”

Unohana nodded and Ukitake patted her shoulder before walking away. She remained there until her division arrived to take Kurotsuchi to the morgue, and with Isane’s arm wrapped around her, she slowly walked back to her home, in need of a stiff drink and a hard cry.




^-^