A Shinigami Valentine

Akina jerked awake. Hot, searing pain washed over her senses. She tasted blood, coughing violently. The sudden movement blinded her with agony. Everything hurt. Her side burned like fire. Her head throbbed. Pain seemed to surge through her body with each beat of her heart. She remembered the battle. The arrancar. Yachiru. She closed her eyes, tears slipping down.

"Thank the heavens." she heard a familiar voice whisper. Her eyes fluttered open again. She couldn't seem to keep them open. Captain Retsu Unohana's kind face swam in front of her cloudy vision.

"Yachiru?" Akina spoke but her voice was a hoarse whisper.

"She's alive. Isane is working on her right now. You must remain still, Akina." she said softly, her hands passing over her face. Akina closed her eyes, the pain overwhelming her.

"Kenpachi?" she croaked, grabbing one of Unohana's arms to try and anchor herself in the here and now.

"He's...He's with Yachiru. Hold on." she said then turned away. Akina heard her voice boom out, surprisingly loud.

"Captain Zaraki! Akina is alive. She's asking for you."

Alive. The word seemed louder, more emphatic, than the others. Why would she say that? Was she so close to death that her survival was uncertain? It was true. She could feel it. Her eyes closed again, fear and loss mingling with the pain she felt.

It was all suddenly so vivid. She could hear the cries of the wounded, the sharp smell of the blood, the prickle of the grass underneath her, the blueness of the sky. It was as if her body was clinging desperately to the last few sensations it would know. She was dying...here on the battlefield.

"Sugar?" she heard Zaraki say. She opened her eyes partially. He was suddenly next to her. She felt his hand gently caress her cheek. She could see his anguished face. Blood ran down his cheek. Her eyes blinked closed. It was becoming harder to keep her eyes open. She opened them slowly, seeing him staring down at her. She thought she saw fear in his dark eyes. Darkness crept in from the edges of her vision, slowly stealing away the sight of him. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him. She needed him to know.

"I'm sorry..." was all she could get out. A coughing fit struck. A wet, gurgling sound accompanied her cough. Blood rushed up into her mouth. Agonizing pain crashed over her, dragging her down into eternal darkness.

--

The sound of bells pierced the blackness. Slowly, she rose up towards them, fighting the cloying, sickening blackness that held her down. She could hear voices in the distance. In and out of consciousness, she heard Zaraki,

"Is she gonna make it?"

"It's too early to say. We should be thankful that she's alive." Unohana's soft voice followed as the darkness swept back up and over Akina.

--

Akina felt something warm and comforting touch her face. She roused, unable to shake the darkness away but still aware.

"You gotta wake up, sugar. I don't wanna lose you both." she heard Zaraki say softly. Yachiru. She couldn't be dead. The fear swelled up, dragging her back down and away from him.

--

"Captain Zaraki," the sound of Nemu's sweet, quiet voice stirred her into awareness. "You should be resting. You are injured."

"I don't need to rest." she heard Zaraki reply. He was close by her, his voice loud and clear. If only she could open her eyes. Maybe if she could move. Akina tried to raise her hand. Pain, red and sharp, slammed her back down into the pitch.

--

"Where is Captain Zaraki?" she heard Nanao's voice cut sharply through the blackness. Nemu spoke,

"He is with Yachiru. She woke up a few hours ago."

Yachiru. Nemu's words brought her a profound sense of peace. This time, she drifted peacefully back into the darkness.

--

Akina heard low, sweet singing. It was an oddly comforting sound. She felt hands moving lightly over her body. What they were doing was beyond her but there was no pain in the touch. She could smell something sweet and green nearby. Slowly, she opened her eyes. A stark white ceiling stared back at her. She looked to the side. The walls were white and empty except for a large clock which hung across from her, slowly counting the seconds away.

The singing was coming from her right. She tried to turn her head but sharp, blinding pain shot through her head and neck. She heard someone cry out as she slipped unconscious.

"Are you sure, Egao?" Akina heard a familiar voice ask. She struggled to open her eyes again but couldn't.

"I'm sure, Captain Unohana. I was just straightening up and delivering those flowers. And she looked at me. I swear!" another voice insisted.

"Akina, can you hear me? Akina, open your eyes." Unohana ordered her. Akina could feel herself starting to slip away but she resisted the tempting lure of the darkness. With a great effort, she opened her eyes.

"Thank the heavens!" Unohana cried out. "Egao, go and get Captain Zaraki. Akina, don't try to move. Your injuries are very severe. You must remain still."

"Hurts." Akina tried to speak. Her voice was barely a whisper, hoarse and crackling.

"I know, dear. Just stay still. The fact that you've woken up is a miracle."

"Kenpachi?" Akina asked as best she could.

"He's with Yachiru. He'll be here soon. Just hold on." Unohana insisted. Akina's eyes grew heavy. She felt so very tired. Zaraki's voice boomed as he burst into the room,

"She's awake?"

Akina smiled faintly at the familiar sound of his voice then eased back into the comforting darkness.

--

Akina slowly opened her eyes. She wasn't sure where she was but the room was dark. The only light came from a half open door off to her right. She was laying in bed, she knew that but it wasn't her bed. It was too hard, too stiff and unyielding. Her eyes focused on a large clock on the wall opposite her. She recognized it immediately. She knew where she was. She was in the Division 4 hospital.

Memories of the battle rushed back. She wondered how long she'd been out. A sudden snore followed by a rough snort caught her attention. Akina looked to her left, careful not to move her head too much. Zaraki was asleep in a chair pulled close to her bedside. His chin rested on his chest, his hands folded in his lap. Bandages were visible on his neck and chest. Unable to resist, she turned and reached out to him. The simple movement triggered a cascade of pain. Gasping, she closed her eyes tightly against the torturous hurt. When she opened them again, Zaraki was looking at her.

"I didn't think you'd ever wake up." he said softly, holding her gaze. She tried to smile but even that small movement caused her pain.

"How's Yachiru?" she asked with some effort. Her voice still sounded dry and hoarse. She barely recognized it as her own.

"She's gonna be fine. It's hard to slow her down for long." he replied with a grin. "Thank you." he added quietly. She looked at him questioningly, unsure what he meant.

"Thank you for taking care of her. She told me you saved her." he explained, leaning closer. Akina closed her eyes, shaking her head slightly. There was no need to thank her, she thought. She would willingly give her life for either of them.

"The others?" she whispered, thinking of her squad. He leaned back suddenly, his expression grim. A cold fear settled in the pit of her stomach.

"It was a bloody fight, Akina. We managed to take down four of the arrancar. I lost two men from Division 11. Except for you and that other girl, everyone from Division 7 died. Everyone was injured. The rest of the fuckin' arrancar took off with Aizen before we could finish them."

"Dead? Four men..." she struggled to say, tears filling her eyes. No, she thought. She should have been able to protect them. They were her responsibility.

"I'm sorry, sugar. Those arrancar bastards were a lot tougher than I thought. Turned out Aizen was there too. I don't know how he masked his spiritual pressure but he fucked with our heads...twisted reality. Some of the men turned on each other. They didn't know. It was a mess til he opened up a Gargantua and called what was left of his arrancar back home."

"Aizen?" she questioned.

"Yeah, he was there. Out in the woods. That's how come they looked like shinigami. It was one of his fuckin' illusions. I hate that son of a bitch. Made me raise my sword to Yumichika. I swear, I'm gonna kill him if I ever see him again." Zaraki cursed, crossing his arms. Akina tried to process everything he had told her. Six shinigami dead. Nine injured. She wondered about the rest of her patrol and Division 10? How had they fared against the arrancar? She suddenly realized what a bloodbath it would have been had they encountered the arrancar before meeting up with Zaraki and Division 11.

"I'll let you rest, Akina. I oughta go check on Yachiru. Ikkaku's sitting with her. I'm glad you woke up, sugar. Retsu said that if you did, chances are you'll make it." he said, standing. She tried to reach out to him but the movement filled her with pain. She dropped her arm.

"Take care of yourself, Akina. Yachiru's gonna be pissed if you don't get better." he added as he walked out the door. Akina closed her eyes as tears ran back into her hair. He was only here for Yachiru, she realized sadly.

--

Akina was lost. Aimlessly, she wandered through the broken and bleeding bodies. Her fallen comrades stared up at her with cold, dead eyes. She could hear Yachiru's cries of pain echoing across the battlefield. She couldn't get back to her. She ran towards the sound but didn't seem to be moving. Suddenly, Zaraki appeared. He was holding Yachiru safe in his arms. He held her eyes for a moment then turned his back on her. He slowly faded from sight.

"No!" she screamed, running after him. Hands came up to grab her legs. Hands of the dead. They pulled at her, dragging her down.

"No!" she screamed again as the darkness rose up, swallowing her whole.

"No!" Akina cried out, jerking awake violently. Gasping for air, she looked wildly around. She was safe. It was just a dream. Breathing hard, she tried to relax on the stiff bed. Bright sunlight filled the small room. She was alone. The clock on the wall read one fifteen. Akina closed her eyes, the dream still painfully vivid. She jumped when the door swung open.

"You're awake!" Unohana said in surprise. She smiled warmly at her as she stepped up to the bed.

"How long...have I been...here?" Akina asked slowly. Unohana examined a bandage on her head as she replied,

"Oh, not too long."

"How long?" Akina demanded as the healer moved her attention to the bandages covering her from neck to hip.

"Over a week." she said smoothly as if it were nothing.

"A week?" she whispered, shocked.

"There's no reason for alarm. Your body was healing. How do you feel, Akina? I know that you're in pain. I'm doing what I can. I don't want to medicate you too deeply. We don't want you slipping away again." she said with a smile that didn't seem to fit the words she spoke. Akina stared at the woman. A week. It didn't seem possible.

"Kenpachi?" she asked quietly, almost afraid of what she might hear. Unohana's kind smile tightened ever so slightly.

"Captain Zaraki is with Yachiru. She's still recovering as well." she said softly. Akina closed her eyes. She knew what the woman wasn't saying. He was avoiding her. When she opened her eyes, tears slipped down her cheeks. She was tired of crying. It did no good. They were wasted tears.

"Akina," Unohana said in a gentle tone. She reached out to tenderly brush her tears away.

"Captain Zaraki is a stubborn man. Surely, you know that by now. He is difficult to sway once he's made up his mind, regardless of whether he is right or wrong. Give him time. I believe he will come around. He cares deeply for you. But his pride has been injured. It will take time for that to heal."

"Lies! The rumors...are...lies!" Akina cried out, her words causing her throat to ache dully. Unohana nodded.

"I know. The problem is the kernel of truth amid them. The Academy fire." the older woman said with a sigh. "That small bit of truth lends credence to the rest of the lies. Chizu is not a stupid woman. She's very calculating...and vengeful."

"You know..." Akina whispered. Unohana smiled reassuringly as she said,

"Commander Yamamoto and I are quite close. And yes, I know about what happened when you were at the Academy. He came to me seeking advice when Captain Komamura stood up for you, offering you a spot on his squad. I know what motivated you and I don't believe you intended to cause such destruction."

Akina closed her eyes, unable to hold her gaze any longer.

"I'm tired." she whispered, wanting to be alone to suffer in silence.

"Akina, do you remember anything after the battle?" Unohana asked, sitting down beside her bed in the chair Zaraki had abandoned.

"No." she replied quietly. She did remember Unohana being there. She remembered thinking that she was dying. She remembered pain. But it would be too difficult to explain all that to her.

"Well, let me tell you what I remember." she said sweetly. "We were in the middle of a Captain's meeting when the Hell Butterfly from Lt. Iba arrived. He described what he had been told regarding Division 10 and the arrancar. He explained that he was dividing his patrol group...sending half as reinforcements for Division 10 and sending the other half back to defend the Sereitei. Captain Zaraki wanted to leave immediately. Commander Yamamoto ordered all remaining shinigami to remain and defend the Sereitei. Captain Komamura spoke up, agreeing with Captain Zaraki. He said that if Zaraki didn't go to provide backup, that he would take his remaining squad and go in his stead."

Akina listened in shock. She couldn't imagine Komamura challenging a direct order from Commander Yamamoto. Unohana continued,

"Captain Zaraki left. He didn't argue. He didn't wait. He just left. Ran from the meeting and apparently out of the Sereitei. You know that he left because of you, don't you, Akina? Granted, he is rarely well mannered or patient but in his own way, he respects Commander Yamamoto. And he has never openly disobeyed in such a manner."

"He wanted to fight." Akina whispered.

"Probably but I saw his face when he ran out. It wasn't his usual eager grin when he smells an opportunity to fight. He was...worried."

"Bullshit." Akina snorted, her throat dry. As if sensing her need, Unohana stood and poured a glass of water from a bedside pitcher. Using a straw, she offered it to Akina, who drank greedily. It felt good. Cool and refreshing.

"I assure you that I have known Captain Zaraki much longer than you. I have seen him worried only on a few occasions and all have involved Yachiru. He was quite concerned when he left. But the look on his face when I saw him again...I don't have the words to describe the anguish I saw there."

"What?" Akina croaked.

"We received word that your group had engaged the arrancar. I left with a group of my men and a unit from Division 6. We didn't arrive in time. So many died." she whispered. Akina could tell that the loss of life weighed heavily on her. In a softer tone she continued,

"Captain Zaraki found me first. He appeared out of nowhere, carrying you and Yachiru. I've never seen the man use shunpo. I truly didn't know that he even knew how to use flash-steps! But he did...for you."

"Yachiru." Akina argued, shaking her head slightly. Unohana smiled.

"He was worried about Yachiru but he held you both in his arms. Not just her. If you could have seen the way he cradled you to him...you wouldn't have any doubts over his feelings."

Akina's tears swelled again. Damn her. She didn't know what she was talking about. She hadn't heard the things he had said to her or seen the way he looked at her.

"You were dead, Akina." she said flatly. Akina's gaze sharpened on the dark-haired woman. What did she mean?

"You died in his arms on the way to reach me. Isane took Yachiru from him but he wouldn't let go of you. He knew. It devastated him." she whispered, recalling the scene.

"How?" Akina asked softly. Unohana dabbed at a stray tear as she raised her hands in the air.

"Who knows why some can be revived and others can't? I don't understand. I know that I tried to resuscitate you and it worked. You came back fighting to live. Maybe that's the key...the will to live. It's a truly powerful thing. We almost lost you again right after you came back. It was a struggle keeping you alive, dear."

"Thank you." she whispered, tears running freely. Unohana patted her hand.

"You can thank me by living well. And by loving Kenpachi Zaraki. I know how you feel about him. I can see it in your eyes when you look at him. He needs this, Akina. He has never known love, not like this. If he were to truly lose it...it would crush his heart. He'd never let another woman get close. You are truly...his one and only." she said softly. Akina stared at her. The woman was insane. She didn't know what she was talking about, she thought darkly.

"He's gone." Akina said flatly. Unohana stood, smoothing out the creases in her uniform as she said,

"Be patient. He'll be back. And if he doesn't get it...perhaps you'll have to make him see the truth. You've already proven that you as much a fighter as he. Isn't he worth fighting for?"

Akina watched the woman walk around the bed. She paused by the door to smile back at Akina.

"Rest now. You still need to heal. I'll check in on you later. And Akina, think about what I've said."

Akina closed her eyes. She wanted to believe. She wanted to believe that there was a chance he would care for her again. Sleep crept up gradually, despite how hard she tried to resist. Just talking with Unohana had exhausted her.


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I realize this chapter is a bit different than the previous one. Please review and let me know what you think. I appreciate all the wonderful reviews that I've received so far.