Reflection

Orihime didn't need to hear Rukia's whisper to know that she had figured it all out. It was in her wide trembling disbelieving eyes.

What is Kuchiki-san doing here?! And today of all days?!

It was an unwanted surprise. One moment she felt as if she could confidently take on the world and now all of that bravery had crashed into nothingness. She didn't have any negative emotions reserved for Rukia, quite the contrary, but her status as the local shinigami made the sight of her there unpleasant and full of frightening possabilities.

Ogichi...

Beside her, just as tense as her, Ogichi spat in disgust,"That fuckin' Kuchiki bitch had to come here and mess everything up!" He obviously thought the same way she did, except that he was more vocal about it.

Fearing what could happen, she squeezed the arm she was holding and looked at him.

"I'll talk to her."

His pale brows lowered. "So she could what?! Slap you and throw a fit again?! Fuck no! I'm going with-!"

"I don't think that she'll do that this time," she whispered, unable to look at his eyes sharp with hostility.

Clenching his jaw, he studied her for a couple of heart-pounding seconds.

"If you talk to that bitch, I'm staying close. If I hear you so much as scream, she's dead," his tone was hard and left no room for arguments and for a moment she felt fear, not for herself, but for Rukia. Ogichi had made it clear time after time that he despised her.

"Okay," her eyes met his and the hint of a smile touched her lips. This was the way he showed at least half of his approval.

Still not wanting to let him go just yet, she gripped his arm tighter to let him know wordlessly that she wished for him to accompany her to approach Kuchiki.

She felt that she couldn't walk over there by herself and the powerful presence of Ogichi was soothing to her.

Instinctively understanding, he was the one that lead the way to the anxious trio that was grimly watching them from outside of the gates.

Here goes nothing!

Seeing her friends closer and closer, specifically Ichigo and Rukia, her stomach began to cramp uncomfortably until she had to advert her eyes. Everything came back to her... The pain she had felt about their relationship, the pain of letting it go and then... the pain she had caused in freeing herself.

Breathing heavily through her nose, she reminded herself that she was no longer alone. She had Ogichi by her side, silently offering his volatile strength.

He would never let her go through that lonely hell again and it wasn't because he had promised her to stay; it was because she just felt that he wasn't going to make the same mistakes everyone else had.

Reaching them, she reluctantly let go of his warm hard arm. Her body almost protested at the lack of contact. It yearned to stay close during such a torturous moment.

"Remember what I said. If you scream, she's gonna get it no matter what you say!"Orihime didn't dare look up, not wanting to see the looks on the faces of her friends after Ogichi's threatening statement.

"Now what are you so uptight about, Ogichi?" Tatsuki stressed his name, crossing her arms.

All she got as a reply was a hard silencing glare. Probably due to Ogichi's usual mirth, his seriousness was more frightening than anything else. Orihime could understand why Tatsuki didn't start an argument after seeing him not even cracking a hateful sarcastic cheek-cracking sneer.

Forcing herself to lift her gaze, she finally looked at Rukia.

The girl was stunned. Confusion written all over her face as she looked at an already irritated Ogichi then at her own saddened face.

"Hurry up and talk to her. I hate it when you get like this."

His low words made her smile and were enough encouragement for her to head over to Kuchiki. With Ogichi around it was even easy for her to ignore the clouded hurt in Ichigo's eyes, though it still made her stomach clench harder in... sympathy for him.

I can do this...

"May I speak with you in private, Kuchiki-san?" her question didn't have a nervous quiver, which surprised even her. She straightened her back and looked at her directly in the eyes, unwillingly to look away. Showing fear at complications had grown tiresome to her, though inside she was practically convulsing in nervousness.

Blinking, taken aback by her calm tone, Rukia nodded slowly," Um, sure..."

Orihime was now certain that she could pull through what was to come.

***

"I know that you are wondering about... Ogichi," Orihime began unsure on how to begin now that both her and Rukia were thirty feet away from the others that were observing their interaction. Because she didn't want them to exactly know what they were talking about, she turned her back on them, and as she had hoped Rukia did the same.

"Ogichi?" Rukia just looked more puzzled than before.

Blushing, she began to fiddle with her hands. Just enterwinding her fingers together and releasing them in her discomfort. She really wanted to set things straight without any outside interruptions. Maybe that way, something in their friendship would at least have a chance of salvaging itself.

"He's Kurosaki-kun's Hollow..."

I don't want her to tell anyone about him... I don't know what the Soul Society would do if they were to find out, anxiously thinking that, she watched as Rukia's face paled.

"I still... I still don't understand. Why is he out? When I came here I thought...," Rukia didn't finish, her unsaid words hanging in the air.

You'd thought that Kurosaki-kun and I would be together...

Smiling gently at her, Orihime shook her head. "It was him all along, Kuchiki-san." Her fingers wouldn't stay still though her face was calm and her body didn't for once tremble in anxiety.

The hint of an embarrassed blush touched the other girl's cheeks as she looked down at her feet.

"I should have figured as much... That day that I saw the two of you at the gym... I had thought that it was just Ichigo making excuses and taking advantage of you and now that I see... Ogichi... I just don't know anymore...," confused and perhaps feeling a load of guilt dropping abruptly on her shoulders, her voice slightly cracked.

Nodding in understanding, Orihime murmured,"I know that it's hard to take it all in." Laughing lightly, not really feeling the need to laugh, she told her wryly, "I'm still having a hard time believing that he's here with me and not inside of Kurosaki-kun anymore!"

At the lightness of her tone, Rukia looked up at her with a hint of disbelief.

"Are you honestly happy with him? I mean," subtly glancing over her shoulder to see that the three people watching them were still present behind them, she then looked at her worriedly, "he's a Hollow... Ichigo's Hollow."

Knowing where this was going, Orihime shifted from side to side. Rukia was hinting at it and she didn't want her or anyone else to think that again. To think that she was using Ogichi as a replacement when over the last couple of weeks, she had learned that she wasn't truly replacing anyone. She had never felt that way to begin with. To her, he was far more than that.

"It's not what you think...," taking a deep breath, she steeled herself to tell her everything that had pushed her to act so brashly over the last couple of weeks that their views of each other had become twisted and unrepairable.

"He's very important to me, Kuchiki-san," the girl's eyes enlarged, but she didn't interrupt her, respectful enough to listen because it was the least she could do.

"At first he really scared me, but the more I was around him, the more I realized that he just doesn't like to hide what he feels and thinks. He takes what he can and is very determined to get it. That's what I love about him," Rukia gasped, her lips slightly gaping at her admission. Orihime didn't feel any shame at her reaction. There was no need to shield things anymore.

"He doesn't lie to me or try to protect me all the time, though he can be a little over-possessive at times. It's like he trusts in my own strength and treats me like an equal in spite of him being much more powerful than me," her chest expanded as she smiled genuinely at the shocked girl. It felt good to tell her. To tell someone what she felt. Telling Ogichi had been a release, but telling others made what they had seem more indestructable and absolute.

What she liked most about Ogichi was his bluntness. He didn't need to lie or pretend in order to protect her like everyone else had been doing for years. The few things that everyone considered 'normal' about her were considered strange by him, while her eccentricities were accepted easily like second nature. That was why she was so at ease around him once she had dropped her guard and forgot her childish fears. The moment that she had accepted that she wanted and needed him around was the moment that she felt complete. Gone was her loneliness and desperate yearning for common ground among her friends.

With him she was free to be herself and he didn't criticize at thing about it.

"In the begining I hated him because he was bringing up a side of me that made me feel horrible. Because of this, I tried to force myself to believe that I still loved Kurosaki-kun even though I no longer felt that way for him. Every time he showed up," her voice trembled with emotion and her eyes began to have a familiar itching burn.

Don't cry!, she mentally reprimanded herself before continuing.

"... I stopped caring what others thought and I wanted him all to myself. I knew that I couldn't have him completely because he was inside of Kurosaki-kun and I always felt dirty after I thought that what we were doing together could hurt your relationship... which it did," sniffling loudly, she felt some self-disgust at breaking down in front of Rukia the moment she felt that her cheeks were wet and that tears clung to her lashes.

"I'm really sorry about that...," tearing her eyes away from Rukia's own misty ones, she closed them tightly, feeling some release combined with a bit of remorse. She was happy to have Ogichi out of Ichigo's body, but all that had happened before still upon occasion came back to weigh heavily on her, clouding over things. Her happiness had caused the unhappiness of others.

"It took me a while to realize that what I felt for Kurosaki-kun was just gratitude... I had just been so lonely after my brother had died and no one was really trying to see me. There was nothing really special or profound to it... I couldn't think the same way about him as I do with Ogichi. It was physically impossible for me. It would have been wrong to even try to do it. I-I only clung to that gratitude thinking that it was more acceptable to everyone... I-I was just so confused and afraid of admitting that I wanted to be with someone like him," a wince passed over her face over how her voice sounded so broken to her. She couldn't help keeping emotion out of it because talking about it brought it all back again.

Letting those be her last words, she hesitantly looked at Rukia that was staring at her unblinkingly.

"Inoue-san...," Rukia began slowly, her eyes showing that she didn't know exactly how to begin. "I'll admit that it's worrisome for you... and a Hollow to be together like this-"

"No matter what you or anyone else says, Ogichi belongs here with me," Orihime interrupted her, her voice steady with a warning. How she loathed it when other people acted as if there was something wrong with them. In the past that was what actually kept her from feeling at peace with her desicion to fight for him, even if it meant turning her friends against her.

Gulping, Rukia blinked before nodding and looking back at the rest of the group that were probably struggling to hear what they were talking about.

"You don't have to worry about me telling anyone about this," Orihime's eyes widened at what the other girl was trying to say. "I'm," Rukia's face contorted and she saw tears filling her eyes as she continued gazing back at the group, "I'm just happy to know that you aren't suffering anymore..."

"Kuchiki-san...?" she asked out of concern, noting her saddened state. She had never seen Rukia so broken before. No, Rukia was strong and confident. Not torn and deep into pit of despair.

"It's okay!" letting out a laugh, while absentmindedly wiping a tear, Rukia gave her a soft distracted smile. "I'm not falling apart or anything. I was just so worried that what I had done had...," trailing off, she straightened her back and said sincerely, ignoring the tears that were glimmering in her eyes,"I'm just so glad you're finally happy. Even if it isn't with Ichigo."

"But Kuchiki-san... I don't understand why you're like this...?" Orihime stared at her helplessly. What had happened in the gym was supposed to make her feel sad. From how Rukia was behaving, she was clearly blaming herself for everything that had transpired.

"I'm like this because I've made far too many mistakes that have destroyed everything here...," scoffing softly, she shook her head, that aura of sadness not waning in the least, "In the Soul Society, everyone is afraid of even talking to me like a normal person because of nii-sama, but here... I'm just another person. I had missed that and after that day at the gym, I realized that I was the one that constantly chased people away with my choices."

"You... You want to come back with us? Now that you know that Kurosaki-kun didn't betray you?" Before the incident with the Hollow, she would have secretly not liked the idea... However having Rukia there with her, without yelling or hating her, made her wish for her to come back.

Swallowing, the other girl looked undecided at her tentative question, but after a couple of moments she shook her head with a strained small smile.

"I-I just wanted to right things again... I see that now things have rightened on their own," she lifted a shoulder, keeping the sad barely detected lift of her lips, "just not the way I expected them to. Even if I did come back, I know that things won't be the same again."

Stiffening at what she meant, Orihime looked down at the ground.

"He does belong here, you do know that Kuchiki-san?" just to make sure, she repeated herself, letting in a hint of command. Being around Ogichi constantly had been helping her learn the art of intimidation. He had the gift of instilling fear by certain subtle looks and slight highs and lows in his voice and somehow that had begun to rub off on her in a good way. Now whenever she used those 'tricks' people took her more seriously and didn't brush her off.

Laughing softly, Rukia looked at her. This meeting of eyes was different than all of the times in the past that she had merely glanced over her. No, for the first time she was actually looking into her and for a moment, Orihime felt that they understood each other perfectly. That there was nothing separating them. They were just two women who had made mistakes and had paid their prices for it. There was no need to fear one another or feel intimidation or jealousy.

"No, he doesn't belong here, Inoue-san."

She gasped and almost instantly hated her until she heard her next words.

"He belongs with you."

Ever since she had started speaking with Rukia she had been holding in her urge to cry, but hearing her say that was what finished breaking her hardly earned resolve. She wasn't crying out of sadness. They were tears for sacrifices made and lessons learned.

"Ku-Kuchiki-san... Thank you...!" Not warning the shorter girl whatsoever, she literally jumped on her and gave her a fierce hug that pressed her tightly against her chest.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" she was oblivious of the fact that Rukia was struggling to breathe.

Pulling away from the purple faced girl that looked at her in pure fright, she beamed at her brightly, not caring that tears kept trailing down her cheeks. When the tears were of happiness, there was no shame to be had.

Completely baffled, Rukia breathed, holding a hand to her chest to still her heart, "Wh-Why are you thanking me for, Inoue?!" .

"For saying what you've just said! I really needed to hear someone say that! Everyone usually just tells me how wrong it is and so on, but you! Just... Thank you!" as she exclaimed, more happy tears spilled from her eyes, though she made sure not to pounce on the poor girl again. She had hugged the girl with everything she had after all.

Surprised, Rukia frowned still confused. Eventually, she shook her head and smiled back what had to be the first heartfelt smile Orihime had ever seen on her face.

For some reason... I feel like things are now as they should be. There's no more emptiness or secrets that hurt everyone. There's still a lot of work to do, but I know that it can be done... Just little by little.

***

"That Orihime-chan is really something," Tatsuki remarked wearing at smirk at seeing how she had nearly smothered an unprepared Rukia yelling happily.

Ichigo didn't comment, his eyes straying over to Ogichi that seemed like he wanted to leap at the two girls and tear them away from each other. The instant Orihime had left the Hollow with them, he had felt as if all life had been sucked out of him. He wondered if that lifeless sensation was supposed to be normal... Tatsuki didn't seem to be affected by it as him. Only he felt the gaping emptiness.

He was a part of me, even though Urahara said we're still connected.

There was no way of knowing why he was so vacant inside. Like a part of him had died the second Ogichi and Orihime had appeared. Was that the feeling loss? Or symtoms of both of them being separated?

It hurts just having them around me.

"Ogichi!" Orihime yelled, waving her arm wildly at him. "Come here! I want you to introduce you to Kuchiki-san the right way!" her yell ended with a ripple of laughter that he had never heard coming from her.

She's really happy with him.

Hearing a groan that showed reluctance, Ogichi made a face.

"You better go to her," Tatsuki said dryly, her eyes sharp on him though a smile quirked her lips. "Ever since she has been around you, she's gotten a bit of a temper."

Smirking with a scoff, the Hollow walked away from them, finally leaving them alone. When he finally reached Orihime's side, Ichigo noticed that it wasn't his Hollow that had created a vacancy within him.

It was seeing him and Orihime together and merely thinking about them.

"Man," at the sound of Tatsuki's voice he looked at her, his eyes not showing any interest or hint of him being completely there.

"I still want to kick his ass every time I see him, but...," she shook her head, her grin widening while not truly reaching her eyes as if she were laughing inwardly at herself. "...whenever I see him next to Orihime-chan it feels wrong to do it."

His eyes fleeted back to the couple. Orihime was apparently speaking a mile a minute to Rukia while she held Ogichi's hand. The Hollow didn't look all too happy to be around the somewhat frightened Rukia, but he held his ground, saying a few forced words whenever Orihime looked at him expectantly.

"They look... strangely good together. Isn't that weird as hell?!" he shuddered at Tatsuki's remark

He had to admit that they did and the knowledge of it made that nagging emptiness grow.

"Hellooooo? Are you there, Ichigo?" she passed a hand in front of his line of vision and he blinked. For the last full minute he had been just staring at them.

What's wrong with me? I never space out like that.

Raising his brows at Tatsuki, he wondered why she wore such a strange expression on her face. It was as if she had seen something that had shocked her.

"What is it?!" he asked, feeling some annoyance at how her intense searching stare held a hint of pity.

Shaking her head quickly, she said, her voice holding irony,"Nothing... It's just that for a moment I felt like I was looking at the old Orihime-chan again."

The old Inoue?

Clearly seeing the confusion in his face, Tatsuki sighed tiredly.

"She used to have that same look on her face whenever she saw you and Kuchiki together. You know? Like her dreams were being crushed..."

He didn't have time to hide his grimace, his internal organs twisting at her words.

Don't tell me that this was what Inoue had felt...

"Ichigo?" he shivered, closing his eyes letting a wave of loss wash over him. "Ichigo? You can't be... Are you regreting letting him out now?"

Clenching his fists at his sides, he shook his head, lying to her that could see through him so easily. He had to keep in mind that Tatsuki had known him since they were in grade school. She could read him like a book.

"Kurosaki-kun! Tatsuki-chan!" Orihime's excited voice called out to them, a sign that she wanted them to join them.

"She's calling us over there, Ichigo..."

I feel like I can't move. his eyes pained him when he opened them to glance their way to see that Ogichi had his arm around Orihime's shoulders with such familiarity. The brilliance of her smile made his heart ache and in a attempt to take away some of the piercing pain, he unconsciously rubbed his chest directly over the hurting organ.

"Ichigo...?" Tatsuki asked slowly and he looked at her dully. "You... You don't have to go to them. If you want I could make up an excuse-"

"It's okay," he forced a smile that didn't reach his eyes and she stared back at him, her eyes showing shock and worry. "I'll," his shoulders shrugged,"have to get used to them. That's all..."

"What's taking you two so long?!" Orihime's laughter was infectious and he could hear Rukia say something to her and she openly laughed again.

Get used to them... That's all that has to be done.

"Let's go," he let out a huff of breath, letting his eyes look forward vacantly in a sad attempt to ignore the image of them. "They're waiting for us."

"Okay," thankfully Tatsuki didn't push any further because she understood that he was induring an inner battle that he was obviously losing.

What Orihime had felt... He now could see what he had ignorantly missed in her lonely grey eyes for so many years.

Jealousy, yearning to be with someone that filled a void inside of herself. The sight of losing a good chance at being whole. He could see it so clearly now that it nearly crushed his soul to feel such pain. The pain only increased when he willed his feet to move towards them with Tatsuki at his side, shooting him concerned glances.

This whole time... In Orihime's dismal eyes, he had been seeing his own raw misery reflected back at him. Too bad that he had been too late.

His grieving eyes fell on the couple again that seemed to be in their own little world.

Far too late to want what could have been his...

The End?

***

Epica-Unleashed

(Declining, all colour fading)
(Defining, time coming for me)
(Rescinding, my inspiration)
(Receding consciousness)
(Aaahh)

Back in the day I can recall that
My thoughts were outstanding and sage
There was no black
Staining the walls of my memories

Now there's a haze pushing me sideways
And leaving me nothing to gain
Taking me back
Locking me cold in disparity

Where was I meant to be?
I feel I'm lost in a dream
Long for the day I can be myself

When I'm free
When my sun has set
Release my soul forever
I'll have no regret
To be free
I'll exist again
No more lost endeavours
Nothing to contend
When I'm free

Color declines, all that defines me
Is falling away far behind
Nothing to keep me with the time
The here and now

Where am I meant to be
I feel I'm lost in a dream
Yearning again only to be myself
When I'm free
When my sun has set
Release my soul forever
I'll have no regret
To be free
I'll exist again
No more lost endeavours
Nothing to contend
When I'm free

(Cure me, free me, help me, see me)

(No more worry, no more losing)
(Save me, near me, help me, hear me)
(No more heartache, no misery)
(Cure me, free me, help me, see me)
(No more worry, no agony)
(Save me, near me, help me, hear me)
(We despair) No more heartache, no despairing)
(Cure me, free me, help me, see me)
((No repair) No more worry, no repairing)

Time is just a concept
And always the first thing to fade
Agony and weakness
Nothing we can ever evade
Years are cruel they break us
Bringing on decay and despair
Awareness and perception
Something we can never repair

(Freedom for me)
(Is all I'm really wanting, needing)
(Give me power to break out)
(I can't hold on for any longer)
(My time has come to end it all)

No one to blame
Fate's only random
It's nothing we'll ever explain
So it remains

Where was I meant to be
I feel I'm lost in a dream
Long for the day I can be myself free
When will I be unleashed
It's not the way it should be
Yearning again only to be myself

Free when my sun has set
Release my soul forever
I'll have no regret
To be free
I'll exist again
No more lost endeavours
Nothing to contend
When I'm free

***

Author's Note: A friend of mine that had read the whole story including this last chapter before being uploaded actually screamed at me for writing a 'complete and utter mind-fuck!'. LOL. Sorry about that, but this was always the planned ending. You know that in the first chapter Orihime had been feeling down and empty, jealous of Ichigo's and Rukia's blossoming relationship... That's why in the ending, Ichigo was left alone and feeling exactly what she had felt; now towards her and the loathed part of himself, Ogichi. Call it a HUGE karmic wallop. Yes. It's indeed a mind-fuck and I'm sorry if people are upset about this, but this was more like an erotic, dark, (with hints of gag-worthy fluff close to the end), psychological adventure for them. It had always been intended that way. And oh! I highly suggest you listen to Epica's Unleashed! It describes what Ichigo is now feeling and what Orihime once felt. It's an awesome song! Hurray! I finished it! WOHOOO!!! I can't freaking believe it! WOW! At rosuki I still hope you like the story in spite of the very depressing ending! *winces* I almost cried when I re-read this, but I like giving stories some drama that makes people think. Can't wait to see some cool art soon!=) At bleachfan7 LOL. Hope the ending didn't disappoint you though! =( And yes, Rukia's presence was an unwanted disturbance, but I felt that she was needed here for some reason. I don't know... I'm just weird that way. I would like to thank the following reviewers for taking the time to review this fic during its growth!: taixi, Valmasy03, rosuki, Boogermeister, P. ours aka Erosu, bleachfan7, brainfear, Sumeiia, makochan, Orant mihi, Bleach whore, and miszxbrii Oh, crap! Now I feel depressed because it's finished! *wails*