Black-and-Red Conflict

first things first:
thank you for the reviews!! they made me really happy :D
and a bit frustrated about the fact that i can't answer them in the way i can on Y!galleries or lj... so i'll just do that here now (i apologize for the bother to all the other's who are not interested in that, just scroll down, please!!)

BruceGirl: ohooohh yes, the ice prince, that description definitely fits him more than well! i'm happy you think i manage to create tension, i think it's one of the most important things between those two. Yes, bya definitely wants renji, but, IMO he would actually not bend over for it ;)
i definitely agree with you on the respect thing though. and the manga's way better anyways :)
still, if bya could just accept that renji can make him happy *sigh* :P thank you !!

hina88: wow, i feel honoured that my fic is the one you reviewed... *blushes* on the one hand a feel almost a bit sorry that i also put you through so much when you read this, but on the other hand i'm hoping that maybe exactly that is the point that makes my fic special for you. thank you!!

ginny: thank you! here's the next chapter, i hope i can proceed and keep it up well :)

and now i give you


~~~Three~~~
Storm


The sky was a slowly moving mass of bleak, windswept gray. The clouds hung so low they seemed to cover Soul Society in an all-embracing blanket, weighing heavily even on the white walls and towers of Seireitei. For Renji, to call them 'foreboding' would have been a huge understatement.

His head hurt from too much alcohol, too little sleep and memories of the day before haunting him. He wasn't sure how he had even found the strength to get up from his futon or, an even bigger mystery: out of his very small apartment at the very edge of the great wall, without taking a kitchen knife and committing suicide. He'd never contemplated touching Zabimaru for a purpose like that, for he was quite sure the monkey would have just beaten him up somewhere in the world of his unconscious, were now and then he conversed with the white baboon.

Now Renji, still limping slightly, trotted forward as if carrying a heavy weight, foot after foot nearer towards the one building that housed the one room with the one man in it, he really would rather not face today. He wasn't scared. Had he been scared, he would not be four hours too late, he would not have left his 6th squad badge thrown carelessly somewhere on the floor of his flat and he definitely would not have swallowed the last drops of a bottle that still had been unopened when he'd come home the night before. It had been an extra big bottle. One that had contained a lot of Ikkaku's self-made liquor that the 11th squad generally referred to as 'Old Man's Piss'. A gift Renji had gotten from his old buddies when being promoted to vice captain and had never touched since then, one reason being its name and another being the guys sniggering evilly while handing it over to him.

When Renji had taken the first draft from it last night, he referred to it as the most gruesome thing that had ever touched his throat. The stuff had effected his head even worse, so he hadn't hesitated to swallow a lot more of it almost immediately. Now, as he stood before the 6th division's headquarters and could look up to the window of Kuchiki-Taichou's office, he wished the bottle was still full and with him.

Maybe he should just turn around, go back home and back to bed, nurse his headache and nausea and only return to work a few days later. In the last weeks, when the conflict between him and his captain had become worse and worse, Renji had neglected his responsibilities more each day and by now more or less failed to care about it. He was at an all-time low since the very day he'd become a Shinigami.

Sneaking his paperwork somewhere between that of his captain had been nothing new, just that normally it had only concerned some of the more complicated papers and one or two of them. The amount he'd moved the last days though, had gotten so big that he refused to believe his captain hadn't noticed anything. It was impossible, even regarding the way the dark-haired man mowed through these sheets as if it was the easiest and most satisfying task in the whole world. That Renji was late on days he had office work was nothing new either, but this was the first time he had crossed the border of two hours he'd mostly kept to before.

In retrospection it seemed a true wonder he was still a Shinigami, not to mention even still in the 6th squad and Fukutaichou under Kuchiki Byakuya. That realization hit him for the first time now, and with such force that he stood stunned for some seconds in the hall leading to his office and was almost run down from behind by Rikichi, who had his arms full of papers. The youth had been in deep thought, remembering a certain fight from the previous day and wondering what had went on between his captain and lieutenant that they both seemed so mad at each other, as he stumbled into the broad back of the latter.

“Oh Renji-san! Hello I'm sorry how are you what a nice day today isn't it?”

That sentence was a bit much for the redhead's brain to work out just right now, so he only nodded as the other looked up at him with a mix of worry, happiness and shock. He probably looked so terrible the word 'wasted' must have been practically pasted onto his forehead, Renji mused as Rikichi stared at him some more before he tried to look elsewhere and stepped back, picking up some of the sheets that had fallen to the ground. One glance told the lieutenant immediately where the boy was heading with at least a part of that load. Kuchiki-Taichou had noticed about the paperwork, of course, he had just not been able to confront his vice about it yet, because Renji was four hours late.

Rikichi stood again, the stack in both hands and looked up.
“By the way, Kuchiki-Taichou said he wanted to see you when you're in. Has something happened?” the youth said, emitting the 'you're late' that lay on the tip of his tongue. A questioning look was on his face, his risen brows accented by tattoos very similar to Renji's.

“Nah, nothin' really,” the redhead murmured. He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head. The door to Byakuya's office was a few meters behind him. It had been the door to his own office not such a long time ago, since captain and vice usually shared that room. But that had been before their relationship had had a turn to the worse. A few weeks ago already, Renji had moved to another room. Today he had passed the main office's door deliberately and not even looked at it, but with his luck the captain had probably already noticed that his lieutenant had finally shown up.

Renji thought he should probably go there, knock politely, enter only after he was asked to, and then apologize for his existence and hope that he'd get off lightly. Unfortunately the redhead was one of those people who lived after the philosophy that, if they screwed up, they could as well screw up really bad so they'd only have to apologize once in the end. As it stood between him and his captain, Renji expected there were a lot more fights to come, so he could as well pile them up and eventually get out by...
No, even Renji realized that, by now, the chance for him to get out of this at all didn't actually exist.

“Ya can put 'em on my desk,” he said to Rikichi, motioning to the stack of paper, then took a few steps back down the hall towards his captain's office. Just as Rikichi wanted to call after him to mention that there was in fact no space on that desk to put anything anymore, the dreaded door opened and Kuchiki-Taichou stepped out.

In the for him typical, controlled, elegant steps, he carried himself past Renji and Rikichi without even looking at them. The youth tried to bow but curtailed the movement, for the paperwork in his arms shifted dangerously. As he had them balanced again, he caught a look at Renji from the corner of his eyes and almost let the whole stack fall back to the ground another time.

His lieutenant's eyes were narrowed to thin, red slits, his mouth an angry line and his left hand clutched Zabimaru's sheath tightly. As Rikichi watched with his mouth open, Renji took a deep breath as if to steady himself, his gaze fixed on the the back of their captain. Slowly, and seemingly only accomplished with great concentration, a dangerously thin smile appeared on his face and he said, much louder than he would have needed in the short hallway with only the three of them around, “Wonderful morning to you too, Kuchiki-Taichou. Heard ya wan'ed ta see me?”

Rikichi gaped as Byakuya stopped in his tracks and turned his head to the side slowly. His eyes were storm gray and raging. After a silence that seemed to stretch for hours he said, “Morning? Four hours late, Abarai. Twenty-eight papers in one week. At least two offenses and one assault in the last twelve hours. Considerable neglect of a Fukutaichou's responsibilities. How much more do you want to add? At least abuse of alcohol while in service, apparently.”

His voice had been quiet at the beginning, with a cutting edge to it that seemed to freeze the air around him, but he hadn't been able to keep it down all the time. He felt a dangerous tremor taking hold of his muscles. It was the same rage and annoyance that he had started to feel for a long time now whenever Renji revolted against him again and again. He wasn't sure how long he would be able to keep himself in check anymore. Every time that he hoped Renji had come to his senses, the other would just always ad more and more. Whenever it seemed that bullhead would give up his unreasonable war against his superior, like it had yesterday evening, when he had stood with his head down and had left the office with his shoulders bend, the next time they met he would come up with something new to push the noble even further toward his limit. And Byakuya was close to that, closer than he'd ever been before.

Rikichi looked back and forth from captain to lieutenant, unable to grasp what was going on. Renji had turned a bright red out of anger as well as embarrassment. His hands were clenched to fists and his eyes dark. The look on Byakuya's face was as intense as Rikichi had never seen before and the only thing the youth could feel right now was true fear. He was at the wrong place, at a very wrong time, and just wanted to get away as far as possible.

“Abuse...? I didna... I'm not... drunk,” Renji finally managed to defend himself. How had the noble notice it? There hadn't been more than what, four drops left in that bottle when he'd left from home. On the other hand, that liquor had been so strong that even after a few hours of sleep it might very well still linger on his breath. Actually, if he smelled like he felt...

But there was something else he noticed as he replayed in his mind what his captain had just said.
“Why, ... what... I mean, all this, all...of this, you say 'tis all my fault?” Renji put forth between clenched teeth.

Byakuya just stared at him, mind racing as to what he could do, how he could solve this situation without having the whole squad assemble once more to watch them fight, with words this time. He saw clearly that Rikichi was more than just uncomfortable to witness this, too. He had to stop it now, but as he turned around, trying to simply walk away from both of them, Renji raised his voice.
“No. DAMN it. You're not just walkin' away now.”

He almost yelled and automatically took his stance, fingers clenched now around his soul slayer's hilt. Byakuya stopped. The risk to have Renji snap and maybe draw his sword here was too great, the risk of himself having to answer that threat in the same manner was smaller, but proofed a danger even greater. He had to calm down. He had to make Renji calm down. He had to think, and gain back his usual control and just simply deal with this. But those words mocked him.

Control? In the last weeks with Renji, control had been a sweet illusion, he realized. He fought for it relentlessly, but every time only just seemed to bring him closer and closer to his final defeat.

He shook his head almost unnoticeable, then turned and looked. Renji had taken the stance he usually took for opening a fight, all tension and wrath, Rikichi stood against the wall, the stack of papers now in front of his chest as if they were a shield, his eyes wide and fearful.

“Rikichi,” Byakuya said, his voice quiet again, trying to sound calm but not completely sure if he succeeded. “You can leave the papers here, Abarai-Fukutaichou will take them with him. I am sure the Hell Butterflies need your attention more than we do.”
Actually, he was not certain if the butterflies weren't better off without the boy, but he needed to get him out of the way as fast and far as possible and Rikichi didn't need to be told twice. He hadn't even passed around the corner as both men's attention was already focused singularly on each other again.

Byakuya moved forward until he stood only a few feet from his Fukutaichou. “We will not discuss this here. My office.”

He said it matter-of-factly and his frown deepened as Renji didn't budge. The captain really had no time for this and even less patience. There was an uncomfortable pressure at the back of his head accompanied by a horrible image of numerous doors opening to spill out people to watch them, to see how their captain wasn't able to deal with a breach of respect, orders and several other things from his lieutenant. Without thinking twice he locked his hand around Renji's upper arm and shoved him towards his office.

None of them even remembered the stack of papers in the hallway.

Again, the redhead was surprised at the strength in that grip, too surprised in fact to react, until he was pushed into aforementioned room. The hand let go and the door closed behind them. Only then did he turn, face reddened and ready to open his mouth for another fit of angry words when Byakuya raised his hand and said, “Calm down, Abarai.”

Now that they were in his office and behind a closed door, Byakuya hoped the chance anyone heard them was smaller, even if Renji started screaming. Not that the noble had any desire to have the other do that, but of course once again he had to notice that the redhead didn't care the least what Byakuya wanted or not.

“Calm down? I'm not calming the fuck down. Ya've any idea what shit you're talkin'? Why's this all my fault now? You were the one suddenly turning all bitchy after things'ad just gone well. All was cool for what, six weeks after Aizen turnin' crazy and then you start spittin' on me again allova sudden.”

“It is enough, Abarai-Fukutaichou.”
Byakuya was getting seriously angry, his pride forcing itself to the fore as he was talked to in a way that he could not bare any longer, and—what was even worse—as he had to realize that his opposite was in fact right with what he said.

“You won't talk to me like this,” he added, but Renji was not about to stop now that'd he had finally got to the point he had wanted to confront Byakuya about for many weeks.

“'tis NOT enough. You're the one ignoring me and still y' tell me I am...”
“ENOUGH!”

This time it was Byakuya who slammed Renji against the wall. His mask wavered and for a moment the redhead could clearly see the tension behind the dark gray eyes, as well as rage and something almost like fear, just that this seemed so impossible for someone like his captain that it was dismissed in the mere fraction of a second.

The smaller man, who nonetheless seemed to loom over his Fukutaichou, had his fist curled tightly into the black cloth over Renji's chest. They were close enough to feel each other's breath on their faces, to feel the heat of each other's body, the heat of their rage close to their own and suddenly, neither of them could move.

Renji's face caught in the moment of surprise. Byakuya's was marked in dark lines of rage as he stood paralyzed and there, everything he sensed but had before refused to let seep through the walls of his rationality, now made it's way into his innards, and heart, and soul.

The smell of a night drowned in alcohol seemed not to matter, as there was the scent of Renji's skin as well. Wild, dark, and tangy, it reminded of summer, of the last truly hot days in August that made the air waver and the needles of the pines crackle. A smell that already carried with it a wild wind's salute and its promise that it would soon rip the leafs from their hold on the trees and swirl them around in the first of the last passionate dances of the year.

Byakuya saw himself in the storm that whipped the red strands of Renji's hair, adorned them with leafs the same color as those amber and garnet eyes. The only ones that had ever dared to look straight at the noble without shying away from his power or title. The only ones that made his insides twist and turn as they did now and should have made him nauseous, but didn't, because for some reason it felt just unbelievably amazing.

But he couldn't feel, shouldn't, wasn't allowed to. Feelings were nothing, they were useless, they destroyed, they hurt. They clawed at him and made his breath catch painfully in his throat, made him want to scream and tried to convince him that only the lips opposite from him would be able to ever make his heart truly beat. That only Renji could ever make Byakuya live.

In one last desperate attempt to rise back up his walls, shut all gates and isolate the metaphor that was his heart, his reason rushed forward, but only to be but moments too late. As his hand loosened from Renji's uniform and gripped the back of the other's head instead, their lips locked and for neither of them, surprise had the slightest chance.

The tempest had swallowed them both and as they attempted to devour each other, for a moment Byakuya really lived, the promise had come true. They burned themselves on each other's fire and still wanted nothing but more. They would not have let go, if the clatter of Zabimaru slipping out of the Renji's grip and hitting the floor hadn't startled the noble enough to give his reason the instance it needed to gain the upper hand again.

He shied back as if hit across the face.
He gasped and stared in terror.
His gut cramped and nothing could hide the emotions that crossed over his face. Fear, surprise, shock, incomprehension, they all invaded him at once and his feet moved automatically. He fled his office, not able to take a look back, not even closing the door behind him, not heeding Renji's voice as the other finally reacted.

“Wait!” the redhead called, but Byakuya was gone, leaving his lieutenant alone in the office.

Slowly Renji sank to the ground, back against the wall, eyes wide. His fingers found his lips and rested there as they trembled with the fresh memory. They were slightly swollen and a bright red, and they yearned for the lost contact as his hand yearned for another, the slender fingers, which it had sought out and clutched tightly only moments before.

So this was it, wasn't it? That made it pretty clear, didn't it? There was not much he could understand wrong now, could he?

“Oooh shit...,” Renji moaned quietly.


~~~