You're Gay?!

Okay, so this is REALLY late! So sorry!!! Please forgive!!! My internet connection has been awful ever since I moved. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, and hell if I’m going to post this using my parents computer!!! It doesn’t matter if I’m nearly 24, they’ll burn me alive if they find out what I write! Grrr…. So, anyways, here is the next chapter. Hope you enjoy!


CHAPTER 3:

Ichigo had pressed his shinigami badge to his chest and was out his window in shinigami form almost before Yumichika could blink. He shook his head as he looked at Ichigo’s limp, lifeless body on the bed and then he popped a soul pill into his mouth and detached his shinigami form from the gigai. “Stay here”, he ordered the gigai sternly, “and watch Ichigo’s body.” Then he too jumped out the window with a little shake of his head thinking about how rude it was to jump in and out of people’s windows. He paused on the rooftop briefly to find Ichigo’s reiatsu, which wasn’t hard to do seeing as it just poured off of him in an uncontrolled manner, and then he took off in the direction Ichigo had gone. It didn’t take him long to catch up to the orange haired boy but when he did he saw something he hadn’t expected to see. Ichigo was simply standing there staring, with his zanpaktou pulled, as Abarai Renji leapt into the air with a yell and slashed down with Zabimaru right through the hollow’s skull. With a bright flash of light the hollow split in two and then disappeared into the air. Renji landed lightly on the ground, sheathed his sword and brushed off his hands. That was when he turned to find Ichigo and Yumichika standing there staring at him in silence. “Oh hey, guys!” He called out, waving.

“WHAT THE FUCK!!!???” Ichigo suddenly exploded. “Every single fucking time I come out on a call you are already here killing MY hollow!!! What gives, man?! Don’t you have a life??!!” He was now right up in Renji’s face, his face all red, yelling at the confused man.

“Um, actually, my life, if you can call it that, is all about killing hollows if you didn’t forget.” Renji said glaring back at Ichigo. “In fact, the whole reason I came here was to help with this hollow problem, remember?! And I get here before you because I can sense their reiatsu while you have to wait for that stupid badge to go off before you know they are around. So, if you don’t plan on getting here sooner, then just plan on leaving all the hollow killing to me!” Here Renji stabbed one finger at his chest and glared superiorly down his nose at Ichigo, who was still fuming. Ichigo huffed and puffed and stomped and then turned right around and walking right past Yumichika without even looking at him he called out, “Come on Yumichika, we’re going back now!”

Poor Yumichika looked between the haughty Renji and the miffed Ichigo, shrugged his shoulders and cast an apologetic look at Renji and then ran off to catch up with the pissed off orange haired boy.

Ichigo didn’t speak one word until he had jumped back through his window and settled back down into his human body. Yumichika just followed suit silently, slipping back into his body and putting the pill back in its case. He sunk back down on the chair he had occupied before the whole hollow incident and looked curiously at Ichigo who just sat there on his bed staring at nothing.

“Um, Ichigo,” Yumichika began hesitantly, “You know, Renji was just doing his job. You didn’t have to blow up at him. Besides, think about it this way, by not having to fight the hollow you didn’t have to risk marring that beautiful face of yours!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Ichigo started to mumble, then he stopped cold and slowly turned his wide eyes onto Yumichika. He gulped audibly and then managed to choke out, “Did you just say my face was beautiful?”

The black haired man tilted his head to the side thoughtfully and said, “Hmmm…yes, I believe I did just say that.”

Ichigo’s eyes went even wider if that was possible and he scooted back slightly on the bed. “Are you, are you hitting on m, me?” He stammered out.

“Well, that wasn’t my purpose when I said that, but you can take it that way if you want. You are hot you know, Ichigo.” This was said with a mischievous little grin on Yumichika’s face.

Ichigo blanched and glanced about the room as if looking for a way of escape from the crazy man in front of him. He looked as if he was afraid that Yumichika would eat him alive at any given moment. Said man found that look extremely humorous, but not wanting Ichigo to bolt up and tear out of the room for really no reason at all he spoke up calmly and quietly. “Didn’t you want to know which of your other friends are gay? I think that’s where we left off before the hollow alert, right?”

Ichigo looked carefully at Yumichika. If this creepy man was willing to tell him what he wanted to know then maybe he could put up with the threat of being molested that the man posed just to find out the answer to the question that was burning in his mind. Yes, he could deal with this. Damn, he could fight Yumichika off if he had too, no big deal right? Yes, pretty much anything was worth it to find out which of his many friends were gay. Knowing this could make things much more comfortable for him, or uncomfortable, depending on how you looked at it. He chose to believe that if he knew which ones of his friends were gay then he could be careful not to say or do unintentionally suggestive things around them. Yep, exactly. He SOOO needed to know, now! He looked Yumichika squarely in the eyes at that last thought and said, “Yes, I do want to know! You, you can just start where you left off before the hollow.” He then sat back on his bed to make himself comfortable while he heard this all important news.

Yumichika grinned and said, “Okay, now where did I leave off, oh, yes, the human world and the one friend that you really should suspect without anyone hinting to you about him. Thought of who I mean, yet?” He looked expectantly at Ichigo who was thinking really hard and not coming up with anything. He sighed then, this boy is so hopeless, but so cute when he thinks too hard, he thought to himself with an inner giggle.
“Um, is it Chad maybe?” Ichigo questioned though he looked a little disturbed at that thought and made a face.

“Aghhh!!” Yumichika groaned and clapped a hand to his face. “No, it’s not Chad! Believe it or not that boy is as straight as they come. I can tell!!! Besides, I think he has a crush on Inoue.”

“He has a crush on INOUE??!!” Ichigo practically yelled, staring in consternation at the calm man in front of him. “What the fuck?! How come I never saw this?!”

“Well, because you aren’t very observant, Ichigo my dear. You just aren’t.” The black haired man shook his head ruefully.

“What the…! Did you just call me ‘my dear’? And I am too, observant, I just don’t pay attention to things that aren’t that important!” He spluttered indignantly.

Yumichika laughed at that. “Yes, well, that is the definition of observant, Ichigo. Paying attention to all things, even those that don’t seem so important. Usually those small details turn out to be the ones that are the most important.”

“Fuck you!” Ichigo muttered half under his breath, but Yumichika heard it nevertheless and a smile crossed his face.

“Gladly,” he said in a seductive, almost purring sort of voice. Ichigo’s head jerked up and he stared at Yumichika as if the man was a monster straight out of a horror movie. “I didn’t mean it that way!” Ichigo practically yelped. Damn that man, he thought, all he did was say one word and now I have the shivers. The orange haired boy carefully rubbed both his arms as if to warm himself and eyed Yumichika out of the corner of his eyes. He must be careful what he said around this man, the freaking pedophile with the pretty face. As he thought this he stopped rubbing his arms to slap himself in the face. He DID NOT just think that Yumichika had a pretty face. No way in HELL!!! He growled low in his throat and glaring up at Yumichika he practically commanded, “Okay, so if not Chad, who?!”

Yumichika chuckled. The boy was like an open book. He could read him sooo easily and he knew how that one word he had spoken so seductively had affected the boy. Oh yes, he would get this boy to admit that he was gay, or at least bi, very, very soon. “Well,” he continued as if nothing at all had happened. “Since you really can’t seem to see the obvious I guess I’ll just have to tell you. Does the name, Ishida Uryuu, mean anything to you?”

Ichigo jumped a few feet off the bed as if he had just been shot. “No way in hell! Seriously?! Uryuu??!!

“Um, yeah, the signs are all there. Just think. He sews, he wears girly clothes, he is way too graceful for a boy, I mean, even the way he wears his hair! Just think about it for a minute Ichigo.” Yumichika said in exasperation. And Ichigo did think about it and he came to the conclusion that Yumichika was right and he had just been ignorant and blind this whole entire time. Or maybe he just hadn’t wanted to see what was right in front of him and so his subconscious had kept him from realizing it. Yep, that’s the one he would go with.

“Okay, okay, so I guess I see that.” Ichigo admitted, “Though it is kinda creepy. Okay, who’s next?”

Yumichika just grinned. “Well, in the human world I guess you already know about Chizuru.”

“Yeah, who doesn’t,” Ichigo groaned. “She’s always all over poor Inoue.”

“Okay, then, well, let’s see…living in the human world…hmmm.” Yumichika stared at the ceiling and tapped at his chin thoughtfully. “Well, there are a few that are bi, but they lean more towards women so I don’t think you really need to know about them. And then, oh YES! One important one!” His eyes gleamed as he leaned forward and looked at Ichigo in a way that made him shiver and shrink back.

“Uh, who?” Ichigo asked in a small voice.

“Hehe,” Yumichika chuckled sadistically. “I’m giving your secret away! And to one of the people you really like!” He practically sang to the ceiling. Then he looked back at Ichigo and stage whispered, “Urahara Kisuke!”




Okay, sorry for another cliffhanger! My internet decided to start working again suddenly so I thought I’d take advantage of that fact and post this before it quit working on me again. I’ll try to get another chapter out soon! Review if you like it! Oh, and you can tell me if there is anyone you want to see on Yumichika’s ‘Gay List’, and I’ll try to make it happen.