If I Close My Eyes Forever

A/N: Sorry about the long update but had some family issues to take care of. I was only able to go over this once so there might be a few errors, if so I apologize. Also I've done some rearranging with the pairing, it will still be Uryuu/Ichigo but there will also be some Uryuu/Renji (at the request of a very dear friend). Thank you for being patient.




Chapter Three



He was being mocked; Uryuu s narrowed his eyes at the never decreasing pile of folders resting on his desk. He was sure he’d done at least half of the documents by now or close to it. His mind just wasn’t on work today, or how to calculate percentages. It kept going back to the orange haired shinigami that was somewhere out in the city.


Several minutes ago he’d felt the man’s presence not far from the building. Just barely after noon and there were hollow appearances. Ishida wished he were out there where the action was, because sitting behind a stack of bills was making him want to scream. He could imagine the look on his secretary’s face if he were to suddenly yell at the top of his lungs.


He didn’t want to remain working, or go home either. If he went home eventually Ichigo would show up and the forced silence would begin. How many weeks had passed since they had spoken to each other? If not for Orihime stopping by almost daily then nothing would get done around the place.


Uryuu had tried to strike up a conversation on a few occasions but had been given the silent treatment which usually ended with the slamming of a door. At other times he would ask his roommate to attend an errand or two only to come home and find that it hadn’t been done.


How much longer could they live with this behavior? What had he done to piss off the shinigami? Was it really asking too much for him to insist that Ichigo do some shopping or to pick up the dry cleaning? These places were open while he was at work and he didn’t have time to do most of it. It was true that he’d told Ichigo that he wouldn’t expect anything from him when they moved in together, so was it wrong of him to ask for things now?


Did some of the fault lie with him? He wasn’t asking much from the other man and never would. He thought to chance an argument and demand what he’d done. What good would forcing an argument solve? Nothing if Ichigo wouldn’t so much as spare a word for him.


If things kept going down this road he would break down and ask Tatsuke to have a talk with Kurosaki and see what was going on. He couldn’t understand the silent treatment or the sullen behavior. He was the one with the wayward emotions and desires, so why was Ichigo behaving strangely? Was there a chance that his roommate had begun to suspect things and didn’t like it?


Uryuu was positive that he hadn’t let any of his feelings come through. He was sure if it had come through then someone would have commented on it. He was positive that none of them even suspected that he swung the other direction at times. It wasn’t something he ever intended to broadcast unless it was necessary. If he did find the one for him and it was a male then it wouldn’t bother him if his friends knew about his sexuality.


A quick scribbled note was sitting on the edge of his desk; it had come from his male lover. Having a night out might make him feel better. He was becoming bored with sex when it came to bedding down with his girlfriend. Maybe it wasn’t just her either, because the note had been shoved away in disgust. Could it be that his emotions were starting to control every aspect of his life?


There was no way he’d get to be with Ichigo so what was he to do? Was there someone out there that could replace the shinigami in his affections? The Quincy couldn’t imagine loving someone as much as he loved his friend. He wasn’t foolish enough to believe that there was only one type of love or that he’d never love another. The human heart was capable of many things and loving endlessly was one of them. He just couldn’t picture another that could affect him as much as Kurosaki.



The sound of boisterous laughter greeted him through the doorway. Uryuu wasn’t up for company, not if it meant dealing with people. Who would come over at this hour? There was only one person he knew that could be that loud.


The two voices set his mind at ease as to who would come by. Rippling heat coiled in his gut at the soft tenor of Ichigo’s voice reached his ears. It felt good to hear it after weeks of silence but it wasn’t directed towards him.


The Quincy managed to put a smile on his face as their two guests turned at the sound of the closing door. Rukia and Renji glanced up to greet him properly before continuing to laugh at whatever had been previously said. “Evening, what brings you two here?”


“A case, it’s good to see you Ishida-kun.” Rukia greeted the Quincy. She hadn’t been too keen on the idea of Renji coming here but seeing the brunette walking into the home she tried to assure herself that she was worrying over nothing.


“A case?” Uryuu glanced to the strange looking documents placed upon the table the three were sitting around. What had brought the two Vice-Captains out this time? Ichigo was the resident shinigami here so it had to be something important.


“Oi Ishida-kun,” the red-head finally acknowledged him in words. Renji allowed his eyes to roam over the lean form of their friend. His chest gave a tight squeeze as the rich brown eyes turned to him in question. The other male looked tired and worn down, so unlike the Quincy he was used to seeing.


“Renji-kun,” Uryuu swept his gaze over both shinigami and back towards Ichigo who was back to ignoring him. It was just as well, he wouldn’t have known what to say. “Anything I can help with?”


“No, we got it under control.” Ichigo spoke before the others could agree to the Quincy helping. They were only looking to retrieve a stolen weapon; there was no need to get Ishida involved.


“I see,” he did. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that statement out. Uryuu knew Kurosaki didn’t want him intruding or sticking his nose into their business. “I just thought I’d offer. If you are sure I believe I’m going to retire for the evening.”


“Wait, Ishida-kun.” Rukia stopped him from retreating. She wasn’t like Ichigo; she wouldn’t intrude on the man without asking. She wouldn’t consider the fact that she’d done just that, years ago when she’d made her a bed in the man’s closet. “I’ll be staying at Orihime’s place while we are here. Urahara-san is currently rebuilding his store and Renji will need a place to stay as well.”


“We have a couch, he’s welcome to it.” Another freeloader, just what Uryuu always wanted. He was being unfair since he liked the other shinigami. Their beginning friendship had been somewhat strange but he enjoyed the vice-captain’s company.


“That works,” Renji didn’t care as long as he wasn’t forced to stay with Chad or Orihime. They were both good friends but he’d rather not suffer their presence more than he had to. Plus a small part of him was elated that he would be near the Quincy. He could feel Rukia’s eyes on him in silent warning. Only his childhood friend knew of his feelings and she wasn’t about to tell anyone.


Last year, she’d gotten him drunk enough to make him confess everything. It had shocked her to learn that he had overcome his childhood crush on her and had moved onto someone completely different. What had caused his interests to sway?


That was a question he didn’t have an answer to. During their fight against the Bounto when Urahara had tested them with the mod souls he’d noticed how attractive the Quincy was. From that moment on he’d found himself watching the other male in earnest. He’d always been good at hiding what he wanted, which wasn’t much. Being a very emotional person it had disturbed him as the feelings grew and all he could do was watch and wonder.


The fight with the espada- he couldn’t even recall the bastard’s name- but it had pained him to watch the Quincy being tortured. At the same time it had been wondrous to have the man fight at his side, knowing that some kind of bond had formed between them.


Now all Renji could do was keep his wayward feelings to himself and wait. Rukia said she’d heard that Ishida had a girlfriend that was in the picture. A girlfriend meant that the Quincy was taken and would most likely shun his advances. He didn’t want to ruin what friendship that had been built over the years. He had told Rukia he wasn’t sure if he was in love or if it were a mere curiosity but he’d never get the chance to explore the feelings or where they could lead.




Another body to pick up! Uryuu hung his head down in weariness but didn’t return to his room. Hearing the rain splattering on the window had woken him up. Lightning was crashing outside, thunder vibrated the walls and dulled compared to the storm raging in his soul.


He wasn’t sure if Ichigo was coming home tonight or not. Both he and Renji appeared to be out in the weather working on something that he couldn’t concern himself with. Uryuu pushed the limp form of Renji Arabai with his bare foot.


Should he leave the man laying face down in a bowl of chips? Had the man been eating this late at night? There was still ice in the glass forming a ring on his coffee table so the man couldn’t have been gone too long.
He had another mouth to feed, another shinigami to look after and another sexy male in the house.


“Damn,” Uryuu scolded himself as the thought came and went. There was enough emotional turmoil in his life that he didn’t need to bother appreciating just how good-looking his newest mooch was.


Giving into temptation, he grabbed the broad shoulders underneath the armpits and dragged the shinigami’s form to the couch. If these things took after the soul inhabiting them than Renji-kun needed to go on a diet. The man had never been tiny but every pound was being felt as the top half was placed on the cushions first. The feet were last and they were the lightest.


“You owe me,” Uryuu spoke down at the body now resting on his couch. The features were sharp and bold; completely different from the boyish looks that he loved about Kurosaki. Yet, he had to admit that Renji did have sex appeal and was also in love with a female. Why were all the good ones taken?


“What do I owe you?” Renji snorted as the Quincy spun around to face him. It wasn’t like he’d been that quiet coming back inside the double doors. He’d seen the man looking down at his gigai and had entered believing the man was trying to wake him. With his reitsu being so close Ishida might not have noticed that he was outside instead.


“You can start by vacuuming the carpet tomorrow.” He was flustered over being caught staring at the other man. Uryuu shifted his eyes to the man’s mouth that was tilted up into a strange smile. Another one with a kissable mouth and strong defiant chin; he really needed to get laid.


“I’ll try but don’t blame me if I break it.” What had the Quincy been looking at? Renji had come back after being led on another dead end. Rukia was still out there hunting with Ichigo but he’d decided to come home and get some rest.


“Don’t bother then, I’ll do it when I get home.” The last thing he needed was having his vacuum busted. With any luck his home wouldn’t be a total wreck when he got off of work. Renji had only been there for three nights and he could spot signs of the other man in his domain. His nerves snapped seeing the stain near the edge of his couch.


“You okay?” Renji could see the tension rolling off of the man in waves. Was this about the chips or was something else bothering Ishida?


“No, I am not fine. I’m not sure who is the bigger slob, you or Kurosaki! I do not mind you staying here but could you please clean up after yourself. It is enough that I am forced to do so after him but I don’t need another kid to babysit. I do not like to find stains on my floors, bodies spread out all over the place, or chips crushed into the carpet.” Uryuu did something that surprised even him, he kicked the small coffee table sending the remaining chips scattering over the clean part of the carpet and the bowl into the wall.


The dull thud was enough to snap him out of the fit and he lowered his gaze to the floor. Even his delicate feet were calling him stupid. It wasn’t Renji’s fault he was in a foul mood and this wasn’t like him. “My apologies, Renji-kun.”




Next Chapter: Some advice, a gesture and a fight.... please read and review.