Finding Home

Warning this is Yaoi which is boy x boy so if you don’t like don’t read. Death to a minor character is mentioned in this chapter.



AN: Thank you for the kind reviews. I’m glad that everyone enjoyed that chapter, it ended up totally different than what I originally had planned. I ended up deleting the whole story and rewriting the whole thing for the end result of the story you all read. Darkephoenix I’m glad that the chapter lightened your day. And to Affie you are more than welcome to borrow that little Kenpachi make up session. I personally thought it was a stroke of genius on my part. I myself was giggling at the mental image. All that being said, On with the show.



Finding Home



Chapter Three



Large men with giant hammers were beating on his skull. Or at least that’s what it felt like to Izuru as he rolled off of his futon and dragged himself to his feet. The world was spinning, the light filtering from the small window sent needles stabbing through his brain. At this moment nothing in the world could compare to the pain radiating through his skull. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had gotten that drunk. Hell, he couldn’t even remember half of the night not to mention he had no idea how he got home. The company, after the initial round of Kira love jokes, had been pleasant. So pleasant, in fact, that he had lost track of the never ending cup of sake. It had been a long time since he had enjoyed the company of his friends. Izuru had been avoiding them for far too long. As much fun as last night was, he was definitely paying for his actions today.



‘Make it stop.’ he whimpered to himself. A comforting pulse from Wabisuke was the only response he received. Though feeling her warmth gave him the strength to remain standing. Leaning heavily on the wall, Izuru waited until the waves of nausea passed before continued towards the direction of the pounding.



“Izuru!” came a voice from his door as the banging continued, growing louder and more urgent.



“Hai, Hai I’m coming just a minute.” he yelled and instantly regretted it. Even his own voice caused his headache to double in magnitude. Izuru moaned. Why couldn’t whomever was at the door stop with the pounding. Izuru stumbled towards the door, willing to do anything to make the loud pounding stop. Swinging the door open, light poured in and Izuru reached up to shield his eyes, releasing a small whimper at the new pain driven in his head. When the pain had subsided a little, Izuru opened his eyes to stare at the intruder whom was the source of the pounding on his door.





Ichimaru Gin stood in his doorway, a concerned frown on his normally grinning visage. Izuru’s eyes widened slightly. The handsome taicho stood in the late morning sunlight, his violet tinted hair slightly ruffled from the early summer breeze. The pale skin of his face drawn in worry. Izuru wondered what could have Ichimaru-taicho so worried.



“Ichimaru-taicho, what are you doing at my apartment?” asked Izuru quietly, not able to stand even his own voice louder than a whisper.



“When ya didn’t show up at the office this mornin‘, I got worried and went lookin’ for ya.” answered the other man “Never seen ya miss a day in all the years ya have been my fukutaicho.”



Izuru paused, looked back in his apartment in the direction of the clock. Eyes widening Izuru bowed low to his taicho. His taicho had been worried about him. He was three hours late for work. “I’m so sorry, Taicho. I didn’t realize I had overslept.”



A relieved grin returned to the face of the smiling taicho. Reaching up a hand, Gin ruffled Izuru’s hair in a teasing manner, similar to what a person would do to a younger brother. Izuru stiffened minutely, the touch was one of affection but not the type that Izuru had wanted for so long. ‘Why does he keep doing this. Why won’t he just treat me like I’m not there. Why does he have to care.’ Izuru almost couldn’t bear the touch. It felt as if he was having shards of glass stabbed through him.



Stepping away, Izuru walked into his apartment. “Taicho, give me a few minutes and I will be ready.”



“Izuru, ya look like shit.” said Gin with a grin as he followed his fukutaicho into the small apartment. “And ya smell like stale sake.”



A blush spread across Izuru’s face. The pale skin made the blush all the more evident. He believed it when his taicho said he looked terrible. Izuru didn’t even remember coming home, that alone was a good indication that he had drank way too much.



“I was drinking last night with Renji, Rangiku, and a few others. I know that doesn’t excuse my actions.” said Izuru.



Gin started to laugh. “Drinking with Rangiku, ya are a brave man.”



“Stay home, Izuru.” smiled Gin “I got things at the Division under control. I was just worried about ya. I‘m glad ya are spending time with ya friends.”



“Hai, Taicho.” said Izuru half heartedly as Gin walked out the door and made his way towards the door. Gin turned before exiting and glanced at Izuru.



“By the way, there is a rumor going around about a certain picture involving Zaraki-taicho.” began Gin.



Izuru’s eyes grew wide. He remembered that picture. Oh dear gods did he remember that picture. If that picture was circulating around Soul Society, Zaraki must be on the rampage. For a moment, Izuru wondered of the fate of Yachiru. Zaraki doted on the girl but that didn’t mean he was one to spare the rod.



“Ah, I see that ya do. Should ya happen to come across it, would ya be a good boy and bring it too me.” Gin grinned like the devil and Izuru pitied Zaraki-taicho should Gin ever get his hands on that picture. Gin had a wicked sense of humor and the man had no shame when it came to his amusement. Even before the truth of Gin’s service to Aizen was revealed, Gin had been some what of a practical joker.



“If I come across such a picture I’ll be sure to let you know, Taicho.” said Izuru quietly.



Nodding, Gin closed the door and began to whistle an off key tune as he made his way towards Division Six for his “lunch” date with Byakuya. ‘I’m in the mood for somethin’ salty today.’ thought Gin with a grin as he strolled towards his lover’s division.



Izuru slid down the wall. Ichimaru-taicho had been worried about him. Shame spread through Izuru. So locked had he been in his own sorrow that he was making the people he cared about the most suffer. Knowing this didn’t stop the longing for the instant relief the razor gave him. It simply made him more ashamed of his need of it. It had now become like a drug to him. If he went too long without cutting the pressure built to the point that he feared he would explode. Dropping his head into his hands, Izuru began to cry. Why did it have to be like this, why was he suffering.



A knock brought him out of his misery. Wiping his face on his sleeves, Izuru stood and went to the door once again. Upon opening the door, Izuru was greeted to the smiling face of Renji.



“Good Morning, Kira.” said Renji. Renji looked none the worse for wear after their night of drinking and merry making. Renji was dressed in his black kimono uniform with Zabimaru tied at his waist. His scarlet red hair was tied up and held in place with a white bandanna.



“Renji, I’m not feeling so well can you come back later?” asked Izuru. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with Renji at this moment. All he wanted to do was spend the rest of the day in his bed, moping.



“I brought ya lunch. It will make ya feel better.” said Renji with a smile, holding up a bag.



Izuru turned slightly green in the face, Shaking his head. “I cant eat anything now.”



Renji nodded his head knowingly. “I know about ya hangover. That’s why I brought you some crackers and the making of a herbal tea that will surely ease your stomach. Let me help ya out. I was the one after all that kept your cup full last night.”



Izuru knew there was no winning with Renji. Stepping aside, Izuru motioned Renji into the sitting area. “I’m going to get cleaned up, if you will make the tea.”



Renji nodded and made his way to the small kitchen to begin heating the water for the tea. Izuru watched him for a moment, then made his way to the washroom. Striping the yukata from his body, Izuru drew the water for a bath. Settling in the steaming water, Izuru bathed away the stink of the previous night. The calming bath salts that he had thrown into the water began to work their wonders on his aching muscles. Leaning his head back against the rim, Izuru’s thoughts began to drift.



He thought back to the days at the academy when he and Momo had helped Renji with his Kidou. The man had absolutely no talent with it. A small snicker left Izuru’s throat. Honestly, it was a wonder that Renji had even passed that part of the exit exam. Though, over the years, Renji had learned a few Kidou tricks, he still preferred the face his enemies with his sword. The viciousness of his attacks with Zabimaru threw off his opponent giving Renji an edge in battle.



Renji had a rare type of zanpakuto. Zabimaru was one the most difficult shikai to master. Even though Renji had achieved Ban Kai, in his shikai form Zabimaru was limited to three consecutive strikes before being forced to return to a resting state. Renji was always strengthening himself. Izuru sighed. Why couldn’t he be more like Renji, strong both mentally and physically. It was well known through Division Three that Izuru refused to fight unless ordered to or forced to. As such he was often seen as weak by members of other divisions. Renji had never seen him as such. Pulling himself from his thoughts at the knock on the door.



‘The tea is ready.” Renji said through the door.



Standing, Izuru wrapped a towel around his slender waist and walked from the washroom to his bedroom. He didn’t even notice the brown eyes tracing lovingly over his nearly naked form. Dressing in his black kimono uniform, Izuru returned to the sitting room and took a seat opposite Renji.



Renji poured the tea and set a plate of delicate crackers in front of him. Then pouring his own tea, Renji began to watch as Izuru cautiously began to eat the crackers. The tea was really good. It soothed his churning stomach from almost the moment it touched it. Izuru’s eyes widened, even his headache seemed to be pounding a little less harshly.



“Taicho told me where to get that tea the first day that I came into the office sporting a hangover.” said Renji “I don’t know what all is in it but I can give ya the name of the shop where I buy it.”



Izuru smiled slightly. Renji had read his mind. It had been a while since they had talked and that shamed Izuru. He had abandoned a friend because of his own emotional turmoil.



“I thought we could go see Momo today after you finish ya tea.” said Renji.



“It has been a while since I’ve been to see her.” admitted Izuru. That wasn’t exactly the truth. So caught up in his own pain and turmoil, Izuru had feared adding to it by visiting her. Drinking the last bit of tea, Izuru set his cup down and nodded to Renji.



“Lets go.”



The day was warm and the birds sang as the two shinigami walked down the streets of Seireitei. Climbing the large stairway and passing the remains of the sokyoku, Renji and Izuru come to a large peaceful area. The two continue walking when Renji places a hand on Izuru’s shoulder. Glancing up, Izuru sees the small frame of Hitsugaya-taicho. The shoulders seem slumped and the white spikes of his hair seemed to droop slightly. Even the air around them was chilled. Turning when he heard them approach, Hitsugaya nodded to the two fukutaicho.



“How are this afternoon, Taicho?” asked Renji. The younger man merely smiled sadly and answered that he was fine. Giving a small bow, he flash stepped away leaving the two friends alone. Both turned and walked up to the tiny grave of Hinamori Momo. Upon the grave was a tiny flower made of ice. A gift from Hitsugaya-taicho. The young taicho had taken Momo’s death hard. All of them had. Her suicide had rocked the entire Soul Society. Not long after Aizen had left, Momo had fallen into a deep depression. Finally unable to take her pain any longer she had ended her life on a crisp fall morning. Hitsugaya had found her a few hours later. The whole Seireitei had nearly frozen over and his screams still gave Izuru nightmares.



Aizen had taken more than just the Hogyoku, Aizen had taken Momo’s will to live. Hitsugaya had nearly gone insane himself. It had taken Zaraki and Komamura to keep him from charging after Aizen. Izuru had avoided coming to see Momo, knowing full well that her pain was very similar to his own. To love ones taicho more than yourself. It was a dangerous road to travel if the love isn’t returned. Momo had given her all to her taicho and had nothing left when he defected. She had been a living shell. Aizen, unlike Gin, had taken everything Momo had to give. Gin had refused to take from Izuru, perhaps that is what saved Izuru’s sanity in the end.



Renji laid the small bouquet of flowers next to the tiny ice rose.



“We miss ya, Momo. Just wanted ya to know that.” said Renji quietly. The two stood in silence over the tiny grave in the shinigami graveyard. After a few minutes, Renji turned and asked “Ya ready to head back?” Izuru nodded and Renji turned and began to make his way through the cemetery. Izuru stood a few more moments at the grave. Placing a hand on the tombstone Izuru bowed his head.



“I’ll come back to see you soon, Momo. I promise.” whispered Izuru as his fingers caressed the name.



“Oy, Kira. Ya coming or what?” yelled Renji. Izuru smiled and began to trot after Renji. His soul seemed a little lighter after seeing Momo. Even in death, the tiny young woman showed him what could be his fate should he allow the darkness to engulf him.



AN: so now you all know Momo’s fate. T.T I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I look forward to any Reviews. Until next time.