Silent Tears

I do not own Bleach.

Random fan: Wow you just love messing things up don't you?
Me: huh?
Random fan: I mean the way Renji just spoke to Rukia. They have been friends ever since their days in Rukongai and it was him not Byakuya who yelled at her for showing emotion and doing things unbefitting of a Kuchiki. What the hell did Byakuya do? Brainwash him?
Me: Now that would make an interesting story, but no.
Random fan: You are seriously messed up in the head. You better fix this mess.
Me: I will soon enough...though looking back on the genre of this I realize its a romance/hurt/comfort fic and yet there has been no romance. *sighs and then smiles evilly* time to have some fun
Random fan: What are you going to do?
Me: Oh nothing much...just add a bit a romance, well the start of one...hahahaha...Enjoy the story

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Time: 8pm

Place: Renji's apartment

Renji had made it home not long after he had finished the work he needed to do. A soft sigh escaped his lips as he realized that he may have been just a little too hard on his squad today. He closed his eyes thinking about it for a moment. No, he was not hard on his squad today. They needed to learn to dodge attacks and they would have a better time learning that from him than they would have with the former 6th division captain. It had taken him years before he learned to dodge or block attacks from Senbonzakura, so his squad should feel lucky that they only received a few bloody gashes from him. Feeling justified in his actions, he went to his kitchen and pulled out some food to make a meal of rice and vegetables. The fridge was fully stocked with various types of food, but he had wanted something simple tonight.

The food took only half an hour to prepare, and when it was done Renji put it on a plate and sat down with a paper he was looking at for removing or hiding tattoos. He ate and looked over the paper, before tossing it away. He would still be the same whether he had them or not. It would not change the amount of power he had, and in truth a good portion of him didn't want to part with them. He continued to eat his food thinking of the paperwork he would have to complete tomorrow on his own, as he did not expect Rukia to come back to work for a few days. Moving to go get another cup of tea, he stopped as he felt a strange reiatsu. It wasn't one he was familiar with and moved towards his door cautiously with Zabimaru drawn. A letter slipped under the door and then Renji felt the strange reiatsu vanish. He waited a few moments and when he deemed it safe he went and picked up the letter. It was address to him with no other name or anything on it. He wondered briefly why someone had sent a letter and not a hell butterfly, but figured it was something that someone didn't want to risk being overheard. He went back to the kitchen placing the letter on the table and pouring him more tea. After thinking about it thoroughly he figured their would be no harm in reading the letter so he put the tea down and opened it reading its contents.

Renji,

I have noticed you for quite some time. I know of the power of your heart and have seen the strength of your zanpakuto.
I know this isn't the best letter ever or even the only letter of this kind that you have ever gotten. Still I would love to know more about you. I would like to know what you think about when you are alone or working. I want to see the person you are when you do not have to be so formal. I want to know what kind of lover you are. I want to know all this and more. I want to know you Renji. Please say you will give me a chance. I will not expect your answer tonight as I will also not give away who I am either. Whenever you think you want to break free of formalities and such please write a letter and give it to Captain Unohana. She will know whom to give it to. Just write on the envelope. 'To the one who wants to give me the freedom to love'. After I receive your response, if it is the one I am hoping for you will receive another letter just like this one with a time and place to meet. I hope that you will give me a chance to show how much someone could really care about you.

Hoping to be yours,
Your secret admirer

P.S. Yes I did have help writing this and no I will not tell you who helped me in case you con them into spilling my secret identity.


Renji read the letter over again. Someone wanted to date him? Judging by the fact that it was written on plain crimson colored paper which was pretty much the color of his hair and written rather nicely without anything odd such as flowerly scented paper or decorated paper, he deduced that the person who wrote him this letter was male. A small but genuine smile appeared on Renji's face momentarily before it disappeared. He had no problem with having a relationship with a male so he wasn't concerned about that. Maybe he did need to go out and take a night to enjoy someone else's company rather than spend his nights alone. He wouldn't slack off in his work as he didn't want to leave the 6th division with a captain that knew nothing about how to handle it. What would he have done a few years ago? He would have probably responded and at least given it a try. What would he do now? His first impulse was to just throw the letter away and be done with the mess, but something inside him wanted him to at least meet this person. Maybe they could be the one to make him forget how hurt he was from Byakuya's betrayal. On the other hand the sender of this letter could be Byakuya himself, but why hide it? I mean it wasn't as if he was going to go yell at the Captain Commander especially since he valued his life.

This was all so confusing, but maybe he could at least try. If he started to feel something more than pain again then wouldn't it all be worth it. His division members would probably be happier and maybe he would stop wishing for his demise at a particularly nasty hollow. Mmmm, that would be nice. He stood up, taking the letter to his desk which was located in a small room of his apartment and sat down composing a reply to this mystery suitor.

To the person who wants to give me back my wings,

I am very curious to know who you are. You claim to want to know me though I wonder if I will be nothing but a disappointment. Whoever you are, I am sure you have heard the rumors about my former captain turned captain commander tossing me away like useless garbage. I do not wish for you to date me only to find out I do not meet your expectations. Still I am willing to give it a try even though I do not know who you are. So please send a letter to me for us to meet as soon as you can. Maybe you can make me see that there is more to life than pain.

Waiting for your reply,
Renji

P.S. Except for a 'proposition' from Matsumoto that I never accepted. This is the first letter I have gotten in which someone stated that they wanted to know me. All of me. Thank you.

Renji put the letter in an envelope, sealed it and then wrote on it 'To the one who wants to give me freedom to love'. He went back out placing the letter on his nightstand, then took his shower, and went to sleep trying to figure out what guy in the whole of soul society wanted to date him.
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Time: 9PM

Place: Kuchiki mansion

Rukia was sitting at the table sipping some water thinking about her earlier actions and wondering if Renji would actually punish her for what she had done. Either way, she did not regret it. Renji wouldn't stand up for himself and so someone needed to stand up for him. What Byakuya was doing was wrong and he needed to know that he hurts people that don't deserve it. Ichigo was in their room in their wing of the house sleeping right now, so she couldn't talk to him. In fact there was no one she could talk to about helping Renji. She would just go to work tomorrow, apologize and accept any punishment he threw at her or anything that Byakuya had added to that punishment. She was so consumed in her thoughts that she didn't notice another person enter the room and sit across from her drinking tea.

"What is on your mind Rukia?", Byakuya asked her.

Rukia looked up at her brother's expressionless face glaring at him. "What is on my mind, brother dearest, is the fact that Renji hasn't been himself for about four years now. I miss my best friend and whether he admits it or not the reason he is so blank and empty is you.", she said with a bit of anger in her voice and reiatsu.

"Why do you think I am the cause of Renji finally maturing?", he asked her still calm.

"Maturing? Is that what you call it? Ha! Let me shine some light on the situation for you Com-man-der. You promoted Renji to your lieutenant for the 6th division. Renji dreamed of surpassing you for quite some time but after a while he just wanted you to be proud of him...to notice him. I mean seriously it couldn't have been that hard for you to see that. He has gotten better with everything that he could just to please you. And don't forget Byakuya that beautiful moment in the war where you, not Renji, but you lost focus and right before you were about to be dealt a final killing blow Renji was the one that came to your rescue. Not me, not Ichigo, not Shunsui, and damn sure not Hitsugaya. It was Renji. It was Renji who fought so hard to save you, and to protect you. It was Renji who ended up in the 4th division for about a week and a half from the damage he took to make sure you were safe. No one else, just Renji. He left the others he was helping just to save you and fight by your side. Why? Not only was he a faithful lieutenant, but he truly cared about you Byakuya. Not just as a captain, but as a person.", Rukia said in tears by this point. "And you know what you did to repay him for all that? You not only did NOT visit him in the 4th division. When you were named Captain Commander, you named Hitsugaya your lieutenant. Renji might not ever admit to it, but I know him better than he realizes. You might have just as well as killed him that day. At least I think that would have hurt him less than you breaking his heart.", Rukia said wiping tears from her eyes as she thought of her friend.

Byakuya looked at her his face not showing any emotion. "So because I did not think Abarai worthy of being my lieutenant when I became Captain Commander, he has apparently changed in some way?"

She looked at him with disgust and anger in her eyes. "Because you did not think him worthy of continuing to be your lieutenant?", she chuckled a low hollow chuckle. "Well I think this conversation is over.", she said as she placed her cup in the sink. She turned back to Byakuya. "You know even though I never met her, I am surprised my sister had even cared enough about you to marry you. Who would want to be with someone so cold and unfeeling. You never deserved to have Renji as your lieutenant.", she said and then left to her room before he could say anything.

Byakuya too stunned that she would say anything like that to him, especially about Hisana, sat there staring off into space for a few moments. His thoughts went to the cold expressionless eyes he had seen in his former lieutenant early that day. Renji was never that cold, that empty. Could it truly be his fault? Surely, if he thought about it, he could remember times that he had told Renji he was impressed with his skills and he could remember telling Renji thank you for saving his life that day. Byakuya frowned as he actually thought about it.

-Flashbacks-

"Captain, I have finally mastered the art of calligraphy.", Renji had said to him excitedly. "It took a while, but I did it."

Byakuya had looked at Renji. "Ok. So finally you know something useful. Now stop wasting time and get back to work.", he had said in his same monotone.

---

"Hey captain. Guess who is now more than proficient in kido.", Renji said one afternoon.

"Unless it is going to fill out this paperwork. I do not care if you have become Kido master.", Byakuya had answered.

---

The enemy was defeated. They had won the war. Renji was on the ground in front of him with large bleeding cuts on his body. He had turned to look Byakuya in the face with a light smile. "Are you ok, Captain?", he asked with concern in his voice.

"I am fine. That was rather foolish of you to put yourself in a position in which you could get that badly injured." Byakuya had said to him. "You should know better than that."

Renji's smile disappeared from his face. "Yes you are right. My apologies Captain.", he said.

---

Everyone was waiting to hear his decision. Renji had a small smile on his face truly happy for him and then...

"The person whom I have chosen to be my second in command will be - Toshiro Hitsugaya.", Byakuya had said to them.

-End Flashbacks-

Byakuya dropped the tea cup he had been holding close to his lips. He could not believe his own actions, not caring about the tea now spreading on the table or partially soaking into his sleepwear. He felt a strange feeling in his chest almost painful. What was it? Guilt, maybe? He may have been a noble, but he acted no better than someone from Rukongai in his opinion. No, he acted worse, as it had been a someone from Rukongai that had improved to impress him, had risked his life to save him, had cared about him. Byakuya looked down noticing the tea had spilled everywhere and cleaned it up. He then went to his room and changed before laying down. Another thought passed through his mind before he went to sleep. Why did I make my lieutenant Hitsugaya?

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Time: 10 AM

Place: 6th division office

Rukia had shown up for work early that day and apologized to Renji for her behavior the day before. He just told her she would have some extra paperwork to do and not to worry about it. They had worked quietly for quite a few hours at that point, when a knock sounded at the door and Rukia answered it taking the letter from the academy student. Renji looked up to see that she held a letter. He felt almost excited about it. He had turned that other letter into Captain Unohana at seven in the morning. Now he already had a response. Renji did his best to keep his face expressionless, but Rukia could see a spark or something in his eyes.

"Renji?", she asked with a raised eyebrow. "Are you ok?"

Renji looked at her and cleared his throat. "I am fine lieutenant. Is that letter for me?", he asked her in a calm voice.

"Yes. I do not know who it is from but they made it out to you.", Rukia said going over and handing him the letter.

"Thank you.", Renji said doing his best not to tear open the letter. In truth he had thought over at least a few of the males in soul society that would want to date him and the thought that someone might not see him as worthless as Byakuya did made him feel a bit happy. Not crazily happy and not enough to make him forget what had happened, but happy enough. He took the crimson colored paper from the envelope once he opened it and started to read its contents while Rukia looked at him slightly amused.

Renji,

I had not been expecting a response from you so soon, but I am happy that you are willing to try your chances with me. I am also glad to know I am the first person to write you a letter stating that I want to know the real you. Because in all honesty, I do. I don't know what to call the feeling I am having right now. All I know is I want to hold you and make you smile again. Thank you for being willing to give me that opportunity. I enclosed a slip of paper that details where I want to meet you, the time, and something else. Don't worry once you see what it is. Just trust me. Oh and destroy that little piece of paper so that no one comes to interrupt our first meeting.

Can't wait to see you,
The one who promises you happiness.

Renji quickly went back to the envelope pulling out a blind fold and the small piece of paper that was it.

Meet me by the river to the south of Seireitei. At 10pm. Everyone should be asleep which means no one will follow you. Once you get there have a seat by one of the trees looking over the window. I can't help but to think your hair would look good in the moonlight. Put the blindfold securely on please. I want to take it off of you to reveal who I am. I hope you will accept me then. I do not know much about your preferences.

Renji read over the small paper and then use a basic kido spell and incinerated it. Rukia looked up from her desk with an eyebrow raised.

"Something interesting Captain?", she asked him.

"No.", he said putting the blindfold in his pocket. "Hey how about we leave as soon as we finish up this paperwork? It shouldn't take much longer."

"Are you ok, Renji?", she said with concern in her voice.

"Yes I am very much ok, Rukia.", he said with another genuine small smile. "I will be right back."

When he left Rukia went and read the letter. Her eyes widened and she smiled. Finally, someone was going to make Renji happy she thought as she went back to her desk working. She wished she knew what the smaller piece of paper had said, but that was probably what Renji had just incinerated. Though one thing looked oddly familiar about that handwriting. She had seen it somewhere before, but she did not remember where. Renji came back and they worked through the rest of the day.

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Time: Five minutes to 10PM

Place: Under a tree by the river to the south, Seireitei

Renji had arrived a little bit early to see if he could detect the other person's reiatsu but could not. Sighing heavily, he sat down with his back against the tree, but not before deciding to let his hair free. The moonlight shone down on him making him look even more handsome. He had removed his headband since anyone who wanted to be with him wouldn't mind those. He put on the blindfold and made it so that he literally couldn't see anything out of it as Zabimaru rested peacefully by his side. He did not feel the other person's reiatsu as they approached since the person kept it very well masked. He only knew they were approaching by the sound of their footsteps.

He heard them stop when they reached him and he heard their sharp intake of air when they saw him like that. The person looked in awe at how truly beautiful Renji looked with his hair out and the moon shining down on him. Steadying their breath they went over and placed a soft kiss on Renji's lips. Only their lips were touching as the person made sure Renji couldn't feel the rest of them as they skillfully kept their reiatsu completely concealed. The kiss was soft, sweet, and mutually shared much to the delight of the person.

Finally they stepped back and took a deep breath smiling softly from the kiss. The person the reached over and removed the blindfold from Renji. Renji blinked a few times and let his eyes re-adjust and then looked at the person in front of him. His eyes widened slightly.

"So its you.", Renji said in a soft whisper and a light smile. "I...I will accept your offer to make me happy."

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OMG! Who just kissed Renji?! Cookies to anyone who figures it out.