Ladies and Gentlemen

Ladies and Gentlemen 3

**Emo Kid is by Adam & Andrew, Candyman by Christina Aguilera, and I've Got a Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas.


"I'm an emo kid,

Nonconforming as can be,

You'd be nonconforming too if you looked just like me.

I got paint on my nails,

And make-up on my face,

I'm almost emo enough to start shaving my legs..."

I laugh and pull my phone out of my pocket. The new ringtone I have affixed Ulquiorra with cracks me up every time. If he hates it, he doesn't show it. Then again, he doesn't show much of anything. Once the laughing subsided enough to make intelligible conversation I flip the cell open. "Hey spunky, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

Being used to my smart ass comments, he ignores the nickname and replies in his usual impassive tone, "Shirosaki, you were supposed to meet me on the roof for lunch. Has your small brain already forgotten the conversation we had not even one hour past?"

"Nah, don' get yer panties in a twist, I'm just grabbin' some grub. Be up there in a sec." Snapping the phone shut, I grab one of the cafeteria's greasy 'death' burgers, and head up to the roof.

Despite the differences in our personality, Ulquiorra has been a friend of mine for years and probably the only one I will actually bother keeping in touch with after graduation. He never even took the time to make other friends, calling most of the other students "worthless trash."

Guess being ruthlessly picked on as a child had that effect on him. We were both born with the 'gift' of albinism. Being a fighter most of my life, I never really had the trouble he did though. Our father's both enrolled us in a private school, hoping to keep the social damage down to a minimum. We met when I was pounding some kid into the dirt for calling me a demon and trying to take a hit on me.

Afterword, he timidly approached me and asked me to teach him how to fight. When his father found us sparring in the backyard, he invested in private lessons for not only both of his sons, but me as well. Aizen told me I could pay him back by keeping an eye on his son at school. Ulquiorra has "tolerated" me ever since.

When I finally made it to the roof, I looked around but didn't see my pale friend. Not wanting to walk aimlessly around vent shafts or stacks to find him, and seeing an opportunity to piss him off, I pull out my phone and dial his number...

"Candyman, Candyman,

Sweet, Sugar, Candyman,

I met him out for dinner on a Friday night,

He really had me workin up an appetite,

He had tattoos up and down his arm,

There's nothin more dangerous than a boy with charm.

He's a one sto..."

"If you do not get over here and change my ringtone back, I am going to kill you." Hearing him answer made me laugh even harder. I head to where the sound originated and find him sitting in the corner, back to the wall and a scowl on his face. It only furthers my amusement.

By the time I make it to him the laughing subsides enough for me to talk, "I honestly don't know how you are the top of our class and know how to work almost any computer software, but can't change yer damn ringtone."

"Why would I pollute my mind with such useless information?" He replied, handing me the object of his heated glare. Taking the offered phone, I flip through his tones and put his ringer back on the dull beeping he's had on there since he got the damn thing.

"Hey, you an' Grimm wanna spar tonight?" I ask, biting into my burger. Nothing like a good fight to take away some of the stress from finals. He looks at me before giving a light shrug, "I do not mind, but Grimmjow will most likely be busy with his new toy."

"New toy?" I ask, confused as hell. Normally when Grimmjow gets anything new, like that blue Jag Aizen got him for his last birthday, they hear about it for weeks. Come to think of it, I haven't seen him around a lot lately...

"Yes, new toy. A couple months ago, I caught him in a rather compromising position on our living room floor, with an orange headed boy that goes to his school. Since I know Grimmjow can not commit to anything long term, I have simply labeled the boy a toy."

Huh, I guess that explains why Grimmjow hasn't been bugging me for a fight. He's been getting laid. About damn time. I have been tellin' that hot head he needed to get laid for three years. On that note, "I can't believe there is someone out there who can put up with Grimmjow for a couple months straight."

Ulquiorra responded without looking up from his lunch. "They have been friends for quite some time. From what I have seen, the boy is just as temperamental and stubborn as Grimmjow."

I had to think about that a second. If Grimmjow found someone with a personality just like his then... "So...who tops?" I snorted as Ulquiorra choked on his rice, so it looks like he is affected by something after all.

He even sounded startled, "how would I know that? And what does it matter to you?" Hmm, that last part sounded almost defensive...Interesting.

"Well, Grimmjow is quite the looker. With his personality though I never thought he would be a submissive. If he is though, I think I might make a move." I laugh a little at the though before continuing, "I mean can you imag-" I didn't get to finish as Ulquiorra's rice bowl smacked me in the face.

"I guarantee my brother is not submissive. Aside from that, how many times do I have to tell you that I do not wish to hear of your exploits, future included." He looked slightly flustered on the topic.

"Aww, whats the matter spunky? Yer not jealous are ya?" I tease, pulling out my gym towel to wipe his lunch off my face.

He responds with a simple "perhaps" before standing up and heading back to class. To shocked to move, I remain in my spot thinking of a way to avoid the awkwardness that will accompany speaking to him again. "Well shit."

I finally made it back to class about ten minutes after the bell, "Mr. Tensa, so glad you could join us." I ignore the teacher and head back to my seat, shooting Ulquiorra a questioning glance. He seems impassive as always and doesn't spare me another look. Maybe that was just his way of teasing me back? Probably not, but if he is willing to play it off that way then I won't complain. We may have been friends for years, but I had no intention of bedding the guy. I'm not very turned on by the quiet, antisocial type.

Taking my seat, I zone out and think about what to do tonight. I wanted a nice stress-relieving fistfight, but I am suddenly not in the mood to fight Ulquiorra and Grimmjow probably won't be home. Maybe I will just call up one of my many contacts tonight and get laid.

Unlike Ulquiorra, since high school started, I became quite popular among students of both sexes. My thin body became toned and muscled, my arrogance became confidence, and my cockiness became charm. Puberty definitely dealt me a winning hand when it came to maturing.

I decided to have one last pleasure filled night with one of the names on my list, before my high school life ends and I lose contact with all of them. With that thought, the bell rang and I made it my mission to find a partner for tonight.

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That night I lay in bed thinking about the future. The little brunette I pounded into the mattress left not long after we were finished, saying something about making plans for graduation night. I thought about college, and my father's offer to pay for an apartment close to campus, provided I keep my grades up.

Like Ulquiorra and Grimmjow, I was going to school for a business degree. I know I would like to open up my own business one day, but I have no idea what kind of business I want to run. Hopefully by the end of college, I will have that one figured out. My old man says I should try out a couple different part time jobs, and see if any of those peak my interest. For such a strange old man, he comes up with some pretty decent ideas. Being a business owner himself, he told me that once I find something I like, he would help me with a business plan. Yeah, I got pretty lucky havin' Zangetsu as my dad.

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Graduation was lame as could be expected. At least being in a private school meant that we didn't have as many students to go through. From what Ulquiorra told me, Grimmjow's graduation lasted nearly four hours. That would have royally sucked. Once it was finally over, I bid goodbye to the friends I would probably never see again, and told Ulquiorra I'd call him after I got settled in my new place.

That weekend I packed up my stuff and had it moved to my new apartment in the city. From there, I acquired a few part time jobs, and even took a couple modern dance classes at my gym to pass the summer. I spoke with Ulquiorra once every few weeks and learned that he got a place with Grimmjow on the other side of town. I also found out that we would all be sharing a few classes since our area of study was the same.

By the time school started, I had grown accustomed to keeping busy and kept one of my favorite part time jobs to fill the time gap. My nights were spent as a stripper at Pleasure Harbor, a popular bar close to the edge of Tokyo. It was far enough away that my professors stayed unaware, but close enough to make it a quick train ride to and from work.

One night, Grimmjow actually came to work with me, saying he needed to have a drink and unwind. Unsurprisingly, Ulquiorra declined, saying such places were uninteresting to him, and that he would rather stay home and read. Once Grimmjow tipped back a few drinks, he ended up on stage in between sets and began taking his own clothes off. He accepted a job as a stripper later that night and has been my coworker ever since.

The system I had set up lasted well throughout my college career. I tried many different jobs the four years I was in school, but none held my interest like Pleasure Harbor. Probably because I am such a fiend for attention and love the Tokyo night life. By the time I got my degree, I decided that I wanted to own and operate my own night club. My father stayed true to his word and has begun helping me plan for the business. Unfortunately, if I want to be successful I need to make sure and plan thoroughly, which could take years. That in mind, I have taken a full time position at Pleasure Harbor until I am ready to branch off on my own.

Now that I can work days, I have expanded my experience to bartender and waiter as well, though I still strip a few nights a week. I still love the attention and the income provides me with a more than comfortable living. I think I might even be a stripper at my own nightclub when the time comes. Thinking about my future and how I got to where I am now, I drift to sleep for the night.


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"I got a feeling,

That tonight's gonna be a good night,

That tonight's gonna be a good good night,

Tonight's the night,

Let's live it up,

I've got my mon-"

Groaning, I roll over and smack the alarm clock until it stops. Probably should have come home right after my set last night since I have to work this morning. Oh well, nothing a little coffee can't fix. It is my turn to open up the bar today, and while it doesn't open till noon, I still gotta be there by nine. After I finish getting ready to go, I head out a little early to grab a coffee before boarding the train. The commute takes me straight through Tokyo so as long as I catch the 8:30, I should be safe.

As the train approaches, I down my coffee and toss the cup into the bin. Upon boarding, I grab a rail in the aisle and take notice of a rather attractive man sitting in the seat one row up. He is turned to the side, with his back against the window. He rubs his eyes like he just woke up and rubs a hand through his orange locks.

By this point I realize that I am staring, but don't really care. My eyes greedily take in his form as he grabs his stuff and goes to stand, swaying a little once he reaches his full height. It's not until the color drains from his face that I begin to worry. I step forward to ask him if he is feeling alright as the train comes to a halt at the next stop, but the words don't even have time to leave my mouth. The guy takes one step before his knees buckle and he starts going down. Luckily, my reflexes don't fail me and the next thing I know, I have an unconscious, attractive orange haired male laying in my arms. This day just got a whole lot more interesting.