Not Meant For Me

AN: A little warning for this chapter, there is a hint of lime in it. :) It's very mild, but, I figured I'd make a warning anyway.


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Chapter Three: Secrets


When the morning came, I woke with a soft sigh, rolling onto my side as a smile slowly crept along my features. I stretched from my head to my toes, letting out a quiet groan as I did so. The night’s actions rushed back to me as I remembered Rukia being in my arms for a majority of the evening.

I could still remember the taste of her kisses, the warmth of her body, and the way she fit so perfectly against me. I remembered her hands in my hair and the way she would drag her nails along my chest. I sighed happily again. To think that she had wanted me. It made me want to laugh. I couldn’t believe it.

I rolled over again, expecting to see her still with me, as I didn’t remember her leaving, only to find the spot next to me empty. I frowned, sitting up.

“Rukia?” I called softly, but heard no reply.

I sat up and reached for my nightstand for where my glasses normally would be sitting, only to find those weren’t there as well. Remembering the night before, I then realized that they had been left on the table in the sitting room. I moved to get up, tugging my pants up on my hips more. When I had lost my belt, I didn’t remember. Not bothering to look for the belt, I slipped from my room to the sitting room. I found my glasses instantly and put them on as I did.

The room came into focus then. Content that I could now see, I looked around. Books were littered along the floor and table. Then my eyes fell upon the sleeping form on my couch. There, lying on her side was Rukia. There was a half open notebook next to the couch where it looked as if it had fallen from her lap. Had she spent the night doing our homework?

I smiled softly and leaned, gently sweeping her hair from her face. She sighed, shifting in her spot. I didn’t want to wake her yet, letting her sleep. I tugged the blanket from the back of the couch and draped it over her. I then leaned, kissing her forehead lightly. I felt a pang of jealousy stab me in the heart, a reminder that even though she had been in my bed and now sleeping on my couch, she was still Kurosaki’s girlfriend. I sighed, shaking my head at the thought. From a night of happiness and that feeling of actually being wanted for once shouldn’t be ruined by my thoughts.

Moving then, I went into the kitchen and started pulling out a few pans, intent on cooking breakfast. I tried to be as quiet as possible as I took out eggs and sausage and even some bacon. Getting things cooked took no effort at all. However, I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt a pair of arms slide around my waist. I gasped. I hadn’t expected Rukia to wake any time soon.

“Did I scare you?” Her voice was soft. I felt her press a gentle kiss to my shoulder blade.

“Just a little,” I answered, blushing. She laughed.

“I’m sorry.” She hugged me then. I felt her breath brush against my back as she sighed. I then felt her head rest against my spine as she continued to hold me. “Smells good.”

“Thanks. I wasn’t sure what you’d like to eat, so… I’ve got a few options.” I had to admit, it felt nice to have her holding me like this. Even though that jealousy sprung up again—that evil reminder that she was still not my girlfriend.

“I see. I’m so hungry I cold eat a horse,” she laughed softly. I heard her stomach grumble then. We both laughed. “See?”

I pouted as I felt her pull away from me, but, I composed myself when I turned with the pan in my hand to sort the food into two plates. Sitting the dirty pan into the sink, I then moved with both plates to the small table in the room where Rukia was already sitting. I sat across from her.

“I hope you like it. I’m not used to cooking for other people,” I blushed some, looking to my plate then, picking at a few sausage links. I didn’t notice how Rukia devoured her food across from me.

“Mmm… this is really good, Uryuu,” I heard her praises. I looked up to see a look of enjoyment on her face. I couldn’t help but smile then.

“I’m glad you like it.” Smiling to myself, I then ate more of my own food. I felt a nudging at my calf and lifted a brow. Then I felt a foot more firmly run along the inside of my pants. Looking up at her, I saw a smug smirk on her face. “Having fun?” I asked, amused.

“Lots,” she answered, grinning fully then. I couldn’t help but laugh and shake my head. We were quiet for a few moments as I allowed her to run her toes along my leg and foot, responding when her toes would run along mine. I gave her a smile, which she returned with a small blush. “I did our homework,” she said after that long moment of silence between us.

“All of it?” I asked. She nodded.

“It didn’t take me long. Your essay for our English class was rather easy. You should be glad it was over something I had knowledge about.” She finished eating, setting her eating utensils down. “I did it because I wanted to. And I didn’t have the heart to wake you up. You looked so peaceful smiling in your sleep.”

“Thank you,” I whispered to her. I then glanced to the clock and gasped softly. “Oh wow… it’s getting late. We should be heading to school. Ahh, crap… and I still need a shower.” I jumped up, grabbing the plates and setting them into the sink. When I turned back around, Rukia was standing before me. She reached up, wrapping her arms around my neck to stop me in my fit of panic. She smiled softly, leaning up on her tip toes, pressing a kiss to my mouth. I blinked in surprise. I returned the gentle kiss, my arms circling around her waist, hugging her close.

“I’ll see you in class,” she whispered against me, kissing me again. With that, she pulled away and disappeared into my sitting room.

I went about cleaning off plates and putting them in the washer before then rushing through to head to my bathroom for my shower. As I passed by the sitting room, I noticed that Rukia had slipped back into her school uniform and was busy sorting through the books and notebooks, shoving them into her bag. She glanced at me with a smile and a wink. I grinned back at her before finally moving into my room to shower.

Once in the bathroom, I shed my pants and boxers before jumping into the warm spray of the water. It felt nice under the warmth as it sank into tense muscles. Relaxed, I went about washing my hair and body. That was until my hand grazed the side of my manhood. Apparently, it had woken up without my knowing. I glare down at it.

“Now is not the time to be popping up to say hello,” I muttered. “I’ve got to get to school.”

I continued washing, ignoring the straining organ in my lower regions. No matter what I did, it wasn’t going away. I bit my lip, turning the hot water off, letting the cold hit me. I hissed at the biting cold as it did nothing to help. I cursed at my luck. There was no way I was going to run to school with a straining erection.

“Dammit,” I grumbled then. Unable to ignore it anymore, my hand closed around the base of my member, giving it a gentle, yet firm squeeze. I hissed in pleasure at the touch. I stroked up and down the hardened flesh, going at a slow yet decent pace. I hissed again, biting back a moan. My hand picked up the pace, my thumb circling the head and dipping into the slit. For a moment, I pictured my hand being Rukia’s with her standing behind me, dragging her petite hands along me. Just the thought made me gasp, my back arching. “Rukia…!” I gasped.

Orgasm hit before I could even think. Wave after wave of warm semen spilled from me, washed away by the biting cold water. I still felt dirty, thinking of her like that. I rinsed off once more before shutting the water off. Drying off, I felt a bitter taste in my mouth. Like I had done something wrong. Maybe I had, picturing Rukia the way that I had.

Shoving the thoughts from my brain, I hurried in finishing getting ready for school. I pulled on fresh boxers and clean pants and a shirt. I secured the tie to my neck, making sure everything was neat and tidy. Once I had my clothes on, I brushed my hair, then shook it some as it was still wet. Each strand fell into place. Satisfied, I put my glasses on and moved to leave. Making sure I had everything in my school bag, I nodded and moved to the door. Slipping my shoes on, I was then out the door for school.

School went about like it normally did. I kept to myself as usual, answering only when spoken to. Things were going great up until lunch. Just before going up to the roof where I usually disappeared to, I was graced with hearing an argument between Ichigo and Rukia.

“Where were you last night?” I heard Ichigo ask. “I called your house a few times, but your brother said that you weren’t there. So, where were you?”

“I was studying with a friend,” she answered. It had been partially true. She had been studying the inside of my mouth. I smiled in my hidden spot of behind my locker door as I rummaged through things, getting things ready for my later classes. “I was out all night. I kind of fell asleep on their couch.”

“Whose couch?” he demanded.

“One of my math classmates, Ichigo. Honestly, why are you making such a big deal about this?”

“Because I was worried about you when you didn’t answer my calls and wasn’t at home.”

“I told you I had to study.” I heard him scoff.

“Are you staying with me after the game tonight?” he asks.

“I don’t know Ichigo. I’ve got an essay I need to write.” I could tell she was lying. She’d already written that essay a week ago.

“Why are you all of a sudden so wrapped up in school work to be too busy for me?” I heard the aggravation in his voice.

“When we became seniors and that harsh reality of university just around the corner kicked in,” she answered. “I want to get a scholarship.”

“You know you’re going to get one, Rukia. You’re the best cheerleader on the squad. If you don’t get one for that, then something’s wrong.”

“I don’t want a scholarship for cheerleading. I’d like to show that I am smart, that I do have a brain. That I’m not some airhead who can’t think for me.” She sighed softly then. “Honestly… why are we fighting over this?”

“I don’t know,” he answered. “I just know I miss you will all these practices taking up our time. It’s been a while since we’ve gone on a real date, and I want to take you out. I just miss you…”

I blanched when I heard their not so silent kisses. Pulling my lunch bag from my locker, I then shut the door and moved passed them to head up the stairs to the roof. Shaking my head, I moved to sit where I normally sat, sighing to myself. These feelings I was having were starting to get to me. I hadn’t felt like this since Orihime.

Why I currently thought of the ginger haired girl, I didn’t know. She’d done so much to hurt me before, even though I had loved her so much. I would have given up so much to have her happy. Yet, she tore that up and threw it in my face.

This feeling was new. It was something sacred, the want of another man’s woman. No matter what had happened the night before, it had been wrong. I should have stopped it before it had gotten too far. No matter how much I liked having her lying on top of me or her being under me, I should have stopped it. Maybe then it wouldn’t hurt so bad as it did now.

Silently, I ate my lunch. The pressure in my heart made my appetite lesser than usual. I felt a familiar stinging in my eyes as I did my best to ignore it. I wasn’t going to let myself cry, no matter how much it hurt.

“Anou… Uryuu?” A soft voice called. I looked up to see Orihime standing at the top of the steps, biting her bottom lip. Speak of the devil and they show up. I forced a smile.

“Orihime,” I answered, nodding to her. What could she have possibly wanted? Hadn’t she done enough when she’d tore my heart out and crushed it? “Can I help you?” I saw her flinch.

“I… wanted to talk to you.” She moved to me then. She moved to sit next to me, but kept her distance. I wanted to tell her I wasn’t interested in what she had to say. But, I couldn’t bring myself to utter those harsh words. “I wanted to say I’m sorry for hurting you. I know what I did was wrong.”

“You hurt me a lot, Orihime,” I said softly, looking at my half eaten lunch. “It still hurts. It hurts to look at you sometimes, knowing that I did everything to make you happy. And you turned that against me. And for what? Another guy? How am I supposed to forgive that?”

“I’m not expecting you to forgive me, Uryuu. I just… wanted you to know I was sorry. I don’t expect you to take me back. I don’t expect anything from you.” She looked up at the sky then, the sun shining in her hair. “I’m sorry for ever hurting you.”

We were quiet for a long time. I closed my eyes after a moment, reflecting on what she said. It still stung, the actions she had taken when she told me it was over, and walked out without another word. I had to hear it from Keigo that she was seeing Chad. That was what made it hurt the worst when it hadn’t even been a week before she was seeing him.

I heard her move to get up. I looked up at her then.

“Why now?” I asked. “Why wait until now to apologize?”

“Because I’ve seen how it affects someone to be hurt so bad when someone they thought they loved walks out on them.” I saw her look away. Were those tears in her eyes?

“Chad… walked out on you?” I asked. She nodded. I mentally cursed. So that was why she came to me. Maybe she did think I was going to take her back with open arms.

“He said that maybe we were better off as friends,” she whispered, looking down. Her hair shielded her face. “That… he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship right now.” I stood up then, setting my lunch to the side. I moved to her, wrapping my arms around her in a gentle embrace. Even though she had hurt me, it made me upset to see her like this. It wasn’t right. But, I also didn’t know what to say.

We stood there a few moments. She let me hold her until her trembling had stopped. When she pulled back, there was that happy smile on her face again. But, I could tell it was being forced. She lifted her hand to my cheek. Her eyes spoke a silent ‘I’m sorry’ before she pulled away. Without another word, she left me on the roof, heading back down the stairs into the school building. I sighed. Why did everything have to be so complicated?

The rest of the school day went on as it usually did. This time, I was lucky to not have any accidents in gym class that left me in the nurse’s office getting patched up. However, without so many usual minor disasters, it made the day drag on so slowly.

The last class of the day brought me close to Rukia again. Entering the room, she threw a knowing smile in my direction. I couldn’t help but show a small smile in return before taking my seat. I felt a small pressure on my back where she had reached out to pluck off a strand of hair from my shirt. Looking back, she lifted a brow at me, holding the strand of ginger hair between her fingers.

’Orihime?’ she mouthed at me. I winced and nodded. She’d known about the horrible break up between the two of us. She had been the one I begged to come over the night it happened. She had been the one I’d openly cried on as well. She shook her head some, dropping the strand to the side with a roll of her eyes.

’Tell you later,’ I mouthed back to her. She nodded to me then.

Class started and we were asked to turn in our essays. My heart pounded then as I remembered that Rukia had written mine as well as her own. I wondered if the teacher would notice a difference in the writing style. I sincerely hoped not as I pulled out the papers. I hadn’t even had a chance to read over what she’d written. Sighing, I waited for them to be collected before glancing back at Rukia some. She only grinned and winked at me.

When the essays were taken up, we were then dismissed to go read the next few chapters of the book the class was assigned to read. I had, of course, already finished the book in my spare time. Leaving the classroom, I wandered out to the courtyard where I found a tree to sit under to enjoy the afternoon’s nice weather before heading home. I figured I’d work on homework to finish up so I wouldn’t have to do it on the weekend, even though I knew I’d end up reading ahead anyway.

I sat under the tree all of about ten minutes before I felt a presence near me. I looked up to see Rukia hovering near by. I smiled softly to her. She returned the smile, moving to sit down next to me.

“Where’s Kurosaki?” I asked. I didn’t want the other to just show up and start anything just because Rukia was sitting with me.

“He went home,” she said, sighing. “He said he wasn’t about to waste his time reading when there were things to do before the game tonight.”

“I see.” I couldn’t help but shake my head at the thought of Kurosaki having something more important to do than schoolwork. “Why didn’t you go with him?”

“Because…” she started, looking away. “I think he and I are having a falling out. We’ve been having small fights lately. I guess because I’m more focused on school and my grades than him. I mean, it’s our senior year… I want to make it into a good university, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. I’m waiting on a few applications I’ve put in.” I looked to her then. “Don’t worry about him.”

“You’re right. I shouldn’t worry about him. I should worry about you.” She smiled then. “What did Orihime want with you?”

“To apologize to me,” I answered. “She came to me at lunch today saying how sorry she was for what she did to me. And then proceeded to tell me about how Chad broke up with her because he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship.” I had to hold back a bitter laugh. “It’s a shame; she left me for him and ended up getting hurt by it as well. I’m not sure what she wanted from me, but, there’s no way I’m going to take her back anyway.”

I didn’t expect Rukia to hug me. But, it felt nice to feel her arms wrap around my neck the way that they did.

“I’m sorry she did that to you. Had I known she would do that, I would have never suggested you two to get together.”

“It’s not your fault, Rukia. I don’t blame you. At all.”

“Oh… Uryuu…” she sighed against me. I moved my arms then, circling them around her to return her embrace. “Oh… about the game tonight. Is it at all possible I could ask you to come to it?”

“Any particular reason why?” I asked.

“I… I just want you to come. And, it would be nice to see you there.” She blushed a moment then. “Please? For me?”

“Alright, sure. I’ll come.” I smiled then. “For you.”

With a quick movement, Rukia looked around the both of us. She scanned the area, in what I suspected as to see if anyone was looking. Seeing no one myself, I looked down at her in confusion. I didn’t expect her to press me back against the tree and lean to kiss me. She lifted her hands to my cheeks as her mouth descended upon mine. I let out a quiet sigh against her as I returned her kiss. It was short, but full of passion. When she pulled away, there was a blush on her cheeks.

“I’ve been wanting to do that all day,” she whispers, smiling. “It drove me crazy seeing you all day and not have the chance to grab you and kiss you.” She moved then, standing, picking up her bag as well. “See you at the game?”

“See you there.” I grinned at her a moment. She winked before turning to walk off.

I sat there and watched her walk off. I then sighed to myself as I looked to the discarded book next to me. Honestly, what had I gotten myself into?

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AN: Thank you all who have been reading so far. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I look forward to reading your comments and feedback. It does help me know what you guys like and don't like, or even what you'd like to see happen. I love hearing ideas. ♥