Fifteen Ways to Seduce your Taichou

Fifteen Ways to Seduce your Taichou: Thwarted Thursdays

A Tokyo Kitty Production

Disclaimer: I don’t own Bleach or any of its characters. Clearly, I barely own this idea anymore as it continues to be constantly changed/influenced.

A/N: So here we are at Day 4 of Kira’s terrible week of sexual frustration from hell! Poor thing…I’m so cruel to him. In proof that reviews and what you people say to me really does have effect, I’ve changed my original idea a little bit to compensate for the fact that everyone seems to want me to cut Kira a break. So maybe he’ll get a little in this chapter. ‘Course I could just be lying, given that I’ve gotten fairly used to portraying Ichimaru through all of this. Guess you’ll just have to read it to see what happens, eh?

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Thursday.

For the first time since Monday Kira woke up in his own bed, without a hangover. The feeling was rather nice. Of course, he supposed it would have been nicer to wake up in Ichimaru-taichou’s bed instead of his own but beggars can’t be choosers. He washed and dressed rather quickly hoping that if nothing else, at least today he could try and catch up on the paperwork he had been putting off all week and maybe try to patch things up with Hinamori. He had all but given up on trying to seduce his captain, deciding to resort to his usual route of just waiting in hopes that Ichimaru would once again gain interest in him and tell him in that chiding tone that he should have been more assertive but Ichimaru liked him just the way he was anyway.

It may have been a pipe dream, but dreams were good for morale.

Upon entering his office, he discovered that that the probability of his dream becoming reality was extremely low. Ichimaru’s office door was closed, even though it was usually open before he headed out to the daily captain’s meeting. He turned to his desk to find it overridden with paperwork from the week, a fresh stack of today’s work piled neatly on the floor. Kira sat at his desk and began to sort through the papers, looking for which were the most urgent to finish first.

He was just starting to get to work on the pile of things that had been due yesterday when the door to his captain’s office slid open quietly. Kira glanced up quickly from his desk to see Ichimaru striding quickly into the room.

“G-good morning, Ichimaru-taichou.” He said quickly. Ichimaru stopped in the middle of the room to face Kira.

“G’mornin’ Izuru.” He smiled warmly, but Kira knew better than to actually take any consolation in that smile. “Feelin’ better taday? Sleep well?”

“Yes, I did, th-thank you sir. Actually I was wond-” Kira had begun to ask about the letter he had sent the other day. It still kind of bothered him how Hinamori had gotten a hold of it and he wondered if Ichimaru-taichou had ever even received it.

But it seemed Ichimaru was done with conversation, he had begun walking across the office when he cut Kira off. “Don’ have time fer chitchat, Izuru. Got a meetin’ ta get to, ya know? Bye bye~” He waved absently over his shoulder, tone lilting his goodbye a little as he opened the door out of Kira’s office and strode out into a bright, sunny morning.

Ichimaru was gone for a time, much longer than the meeting really should have taken. However, it gave Kira plenty of time to get through the most urgent of the documents and place them on his captain’s desk.

He was starting on the ones which were due today when there was a knock on his door. “Come in.” He said, not looking up from the document he was reading.

“Here you are, all holed up in your office, Kira! And you say your Captain doesn’t over work you….It’s no wonder you’re so pale!” Kira knew the voice to be Renji and looked up from the papers he was reviewing, smiling a little.

“Good morning to you too, Abarai-kun.” He joked a little.

“Morning? You idiot, it’s nearly lunch time! I came to get you because Hinamori-kun said she had other things to do and you hadn’t come down yet. Figured somethin’ must be holding you up.”

Well, that answered his question about how Hinamori was feeling today. Guess there would be no hope for patching things up with her at least for the time being. Of course, one of the best things about living forever is no one, especially Hinamori, could actually stay mad forever. It was just too long of a time. Things would fix themselves eventually.

“Alright, I suppose some fresh air would do me some good.” Kira set his things down on his desk and walked over to the door to sit down and put on his sandals.

0000

It had actually been rather nice to sit down to lunch with Renji. The red haired man was always more than a little on edge, but it did wonders for Kira’s nerves to not think about his captain for an hour or so. Of course all Renji would talk about at lunch was how strange Hinamori had been acting earlier that day, did Kira know anything about that? Kira quietly replied that he wasn’t sure; taking a sip of tea, and then changing the topic to anything he could think of. It only kind of worked.

“I mean really, it just isn’t like her to be so quiet and secretive all of a sudden….” Renji pressed again as they walked away from lunch a little while later, back to their respective divisions.

“I wouldn’t worry so much about it, Abarai-kun. She was always rather quiet back in the Academy.” Kira said respectfully, only really half listening to what Renji was saying for about the fiftieth time. He was instead staring off into space at the various people passing them by.

“You don’t think it’s like…” He paused, his voice growing quieter, “you don’t think it has something to do with Aizen-taichou, does it?” It wasn’t popular to say things against Aizen-taichou considering he was one of the most well liked captains. Kira was surprised that Renji would have said that considering Renji had always seemed to like Aizen-taichou.

Of course he knew that was definitely not the reason, but certainty wasn’t what Renji was really fishing for. “I really don’t know, Abarai-kun. But I’m pretty sure that isn’t the case. I mean, Hinamori-kun would’ve said something if—” He stopped in the middle of his sentence because he could have sworn that on the other side of the boardwalk, walking towards the training grounds was Ichimaru-taichou.

Kira had thought he’d been able to shift most of his thoughts away from his captain, guess that was only temporary. “Excuse me Abarai-kun, I need to get going.” Kira muttered, not even waiting for a response before breaking off into a jog through the crowds of shinigami towards what looked like his captain’s retreating form.

He had nearly caught up to what was indeed his captain and was just about to call out his name but when he opened his mouth to call out, what had started out as a name ended in a surprised scream when his left sandal snapped and Kira fell flat on his face. Several shinigami around him stopped for a moment to stare, but his captain about thirty feet in front of him, didn’t even turn around at the resounding thud against the wooden boardwalk and disappeared into the crowds.

Kira lay on the ground for a moment, trying to collect himself when he heard someone behind him. “Kira-fukutaichou? What on earth are you doing on the ground? Are you alright?” Kira only half recognized the voice; when he finally sat up, he was greeted by the concerned face of Ukitake-taichou, bent down to his eye-level.

“I’m fine, Ukitake-taichou…” He said, slowly trying to stand up, the older shinigami offered him a hand, which Kira politely took. ‘Just my pride is damaged…’ He thought, brushing off unseen dirt from his clothes. “I must have tripped over something.” He explained lamely. He scanned around the area for Ichimaru-taichou and thankfully caught a quick glance of him rounding a corner at the end of the lane. If he hurried, maybe he could catch him.

But Ukitake-taichou was still talking. It wasn’t a good idea to simply walk away from a superior, let alone one of the oldest shinigami in all of Seireitei. “I saw you just the other day actually in the Fourth Division.” He continued, “Unohana-taichou was telling me you had a bad headache. You should really be more careful when you’re still recovering, Kira-kun.” He said his tone almost fatherly. Kira was surprised he hadn’t ruffled his hair and tried to offer him sweets the way he did with Hitsugaya-taichou. He supposed his age saved him that embarrassment.

“Thank you, Ukitake-taichou. I will try to be more careful.” He said quietly, bowing at the waist in respect. Ukitake smiled softly and said his goodbyes, and began to walk off in the same direction that Kira had seen Ichimaru disappear in.

It wouldn’t do for Kira to run past Ukitake-taichou right after saying he would listen to the captain’s advice. Plus, he’d probably never catch Ichimaru now, his knees hurt from having hit the ground so hard. With a sigh, he resigned himself to go back to the Third Division and at least accomplish one of his goals for today; get work done.

A few hours later Kira was nearly done with all the paper work excluding the work that had magically appeared on his desk while he had been out at lunch. Yet still he had seen no sign of Ichimaru-taichou since earlier that day at lunchtime. His door to his office still stood wide open. It wasn’t like him, even when avoiding work, to disappear for a whole day like this and Kira was slightly worried. He signed the last document, placing it on top of the now monstrous pile of done work, deciding he would leave the pile of things that Ichimaru had put on his desk while out at lunch until later.

He stood and walked around his desk towards Ichimaru-taichou’s office and rapped sharply yet quietly on the wall. “Ichimaru-taichou?” He called, knowing he would not receive an answer, but still felt it necessary to act respectfully before entering his captain’s office.

The office was empty like he had expected it would be. Kira walked over to his captain’s desk and sifted through the things sitting on top of it, hoping for some sort of note or clue as to where Ichimaru had gone. There was nothing that gave away his whereabouts, so Kira left the office headed back to the living quarters of the division. With the majority of his work done, no friends to hang out with after work and drink with and no captain to interrupt any of the former two activities Kira realized that his life was rather boring. Was this the way things were going to be now? That is, now that Ichimaru-taichou seemed rather done with him. Kira couldn’t remember the last time he hadn’t been around his captain at least part of the day. In a moment of clarity, Kira realized how pathetic that sounded but pushed it to the back of his brain to instead lament his future.

Maybe this was the way a captain to vice-captain relationship was supposed to be. It wasn’t like he’d ever seen Renji constantly hanging out around Kuchiki-taichou. Renji would probably have killed himself before letting that happen. Kira walked into the main commons area of the Third Division to find it sparsely populated with officers and division members, people he realized he barely knew by name. No Ichimaru-taichou in sight.

If that was the way captain vice-captain relationships were supposed to be, Kira decided he needed to do something about what had happened between him and his captain now. He didn’t want it to feel this lonely anymore.

Kira had originally thought of heading back to his own room to spend the rest of the night reading or doing some other solitary activity. But, in a moment of boldness far more driven than any in the last week he turned down the opposite walkway and across the grounds of the Third Division towards Ichimaru’s quarters. Maybe he wouldn’t be there either, and then Kira wasn’t sure what he was going to do. But maybe, just maybe, Ichimaru-taichou would be there. If he was—

He slid open the door, not even bothering to knock this time.

The room was devoid of any life, completely clean and just as spartan as it had always been. The living space was empty as usual. Really Kira had seen Ichimaru in this room very infrequently save the other night when they had sat in here drinking. Kira shut the door to the hall behind him, walking as if in a trance towards Ichimaru’s bedroom. He opened the door to this room too. Once again, no captain, everything was perfectly in its place. Except for that box of books next to Ichimaru’s futon, that was new. Kira shut the door behind him, walking towards the box not really thinking of how he was completely trespassing in his captain’s personal quarters. He knelt down next to the box, interested to see what it was his captain had been reading.

“What the…” Kira mumbled, reading the titles was enough. “Troubled Waters? The Blind and Buttonless Horseman?” They were romance novels? Kira looked from one glossy, raunchy picture to the next. Apparently they were gay romance novels at that. Kira noticed a third book over by Ichimaru’s bed, a thin piece of paper sticking out of the end to mark the page. As if to confirm the content of the novels the title read: The Sherriff of Gay County. “Ichimaru-taichou is reading these?” Kira asked aloud, turning the book around to read the back which was riddled with terrible innuendos and metaphors.

“Now now, Izuru. Ya shouldn’ judge a book by it’s cover, ya know?” Kira must have jumped ten feet in the air, sending the trashy novel flying; Ichimaru caught it in a graceful catch. Kira had been so surprised by the books he must not have heard his captain enter. Not that Ichimaru was ever very noisy when moving around.

Kira turned around in horror slowly to be met at eye level, Kira kneeling and his captain bent over, smiling broadly. “So, whatcha doin’ in ma room, hm? Iz not like you ta go snoopin’ through other people’s stuff, Izuru.” He tapped the small paperback on Kira’s shoulder for emphasis. “‘Specially my stuff, ya know?”

There was no room to run, even if he had been able to move from this spot. Kira couldn’t even comprehend how much trouble he was in. The only thing he could think about was how wonderfully beautiful Ichimaru looked from this close. He could see in his mind those slanted eyes sliding open just enough to reveal deep red irises, a sight he told himself only he was privy to. He thought about those lips. He could feel every breath his captain made as the silence hung in the air like a humid day.

“Not feelin’ up ta talking, Izuru? Or are ya tryin’ ta give me da silent treatment? I do somethin’ wrong?” The smile on his captain’s face turned upside-down into a half-frown that looked more like a petulant child’s pout.

Kira cleared his throat quickly, trying to find his voice again. “No, Taichou…” He couldn’t hold eye contact any longer; he looked to the floor at the romance novels lying to his side. “I…I just,” His gaze shifted to the other side of the floor then finally back at his captain’s face which had softened slightly. “I just missed you.”

“Didja now…” Ichimaru’s smile returned a bit. He set the book on the floor, moving to sit down in front of the blond. Now Kira could see the door which his captain had (thankfully) silently closed when he had entered. However Kira could only focus on that for a second. Ichimaru was still so close to him. So close that if Kira just leaned a little bit their lips would touch.

Kira did lean forward, his lips timidly covering Ichimaru’s. His captain seemed mildly surprised and Kira could feel his slight smirk against his own lips. He kissed Ichimaru again this time with more pressure and a little more forceful insistence. His tongue timidly licked the seam of Ichimaru’s lips and was his captain really parting those beautiful lips to let him inside?

Kira moaned softly at the heady sensation of invading his captain’s mouth. His tongue caressed the inside of Ichimaru’s mouth and it felt like completely foreign territory despite the hundreds of times he had kissed him. Ichimaru had settled to sit on the floor with him giving Kira less of a height difference to compensate for. His hands tentatively moved to rest on Ichimaru’s shoulders, his tongue surging a little further into his captain’s mouth to rub slowly against the older man’s tongue.

He was entirely drunk on the taste and feel of his captain’s mouth, all previous trepidation and nervousness shed in this moment of unexpected passion. Kira’s hands knotted in the loose fabric of his robes, slowly pulling it open. Ichimaru’s hands instantly wrapped around Kira’s back, one long bony finger playing ever so lightly with the hairline on the back of his neck. He moaned huskily into his captain’s mouth sitting up more and moving into Ichimaru’s lap until he was straddling his captain’s legs. The kiss finally broke as Kira pulled at Ichimaru’s robes again, the fabric loosening even more as Ichimaru shrugged the layers of fabric off. Kira leaned down, his head falling on his captain’s shoulder and breathed deeply. His head lay against heated soft skin and Kira realized in moment of clarity that for the first time he could ever remember Ichimaru was missing clothes before him. The thought made him blush slightly, burying his head further into his captain’s neck.

“There, there, Izuru.” Ichimaru said, a hand coming to rub his back lightly in what really wasn’t genuine consolation. “I think tha’s enough excitement fer one day, eh?” His other hand that wasn’t on Kira’s back pushed lightly on his front, not so subtly pushing Kira away from him.

“E-excuse me, Taichou?” Kira stammered, sitting up still in Ichimaru’s lap and his captain’s face was still so close to his own that his smile covered all of Kira’s vision.

“I said ya should get headin’ back fer the night. Don’ wantcha ta not be ready for anotha’ day of work tomorrow, am I right?”

As Kira slipped slowly from his captain’s lap, it was impossible for him to not show his disappointment. “T-taichou..” He began slowly, pushing back a little from his captain’s still half naked form to give himself space to bow low in his humiliation. “Am..am I still…no good?” He asked cautiously.

Kira felt the hand more than saw it gently grasp his chin, forcing his gaze to meet his captain’s ever present smile. “Aw, yer getting’ better, Izuru….Now’s jus’ not the,” his eyes slid open in a moment of dramatic pause eyes sliding open to reveal those dangerous red eyes again. “The opportune moment.” He finished and then released Kira’s chin to stand, turn and pick up his rumpled kimono all in one fluid motion.

Kira sat rooted to the floor as his captain left his own chambers for the outer room. Maybe if Kira just sat here, adamantly refusing to leave that would work. Either that or make his captain more angry and he would be thrown out of the room quite literally. Kira stayed in the same spot for perhaps five minutes until Ichimaru poked his head back in the room.

“Ya still ‘ere, Izuru? Dis won’t do at all…” His captain was once again immaculately dressed, leaning on the doorframe with his arms crossed and a slight frown on his face. “I need ta sleep too, ya know and I can’ do that very well witcha sittin’ in ma room can I?”

Kira looked up suddenly, meeting his captain’s gaze as if in a daze. He stood, “I’m sorry, Ichimaru-taichou.” He murmured quickly, taking the few steps to cross the room and passing his captain with his head down.

Ichimaru grabbed his arm with a force that startled Kira. The blond whipped around, surprise written on his face as his captain kissed him quickly on the lips.

“G’night, Izuru. See ya in the morning, eh?” he said softly before releasing Kira’s arm.

It took all of Kira’s strength to continue his steady walking gait through the room to the door into the hallway. He could feel Ichimaru’s eyes on him as he crossed the living space, slid the door open and then closed it again with unfortunate finality. The cool night wind blew softly past him as he stared at the light and warmth coming through the screen door he had just closed.

Kira guessed whatever ‘opportune moment’ he was looking for would have to wait until tomorrow.

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A/N: And before anyone asks, no, I’m not talking about Jack Sparrow and his “opportune moment” stuff. Different opportune moment. It’s simply the unfortunate coincidence of wording. Hope you all were pleased enough with the scene I worked into this. Promise Kira will get what he really deserves eventually. When Ichimaru feels in the mood to put out (lol that sounds ridiculous). Also as a note (not that anyone actually reads these probably) but all of the titles of romance novels are absolutely real with the exception of Troubled Waters. I invented that one to match the sea-faring themed scene Ichimaru was reading in chapter three. With that, I need to go find myself a copy of The Sherriff of Gay County. Please review everyone!! It keeps me going and it spurs scenes like the one at the end of this chapter.