Silent Tears

I do not own Bleach.

Me: *sits crying in a corner*
Random fan: Why are you crying?
Me: *points down at story*
Random fan: Huh? *looks confused* Wait! Who the hell kissed Renji and wrote those letters?!
Me: Well...you will have to read it, but i did put clues in those letters...
Random fan: Well the letters sound like Byakuya sent them...
Me: Mmmm...yes they do...well i guess the biggest clue is the P.S. in Renji's acceptance to meet letter.
Random fan: OMG! You don't mean...
Me: *sighs and nods* yes that is exactly who it is. And Pheonix ninja gets half a cookie since one of the two people he suggested in his first message to me is the one who kissed Renji. I apologize in advance for any OOCness. Well enjoy the story! :)

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Time: About a quarter after ten

Place: Under a tree by the river to the South, Seireitei

Renji didn't move an inch after he had spoken those words. He wasn't quite sure why he had agreed to such a thing especially when this person had hurt him. It was just that the kiss had seemed so perfect. It had not demanded complete and total perfection. It was just something to show Renji the way this person felt. He was so confused at the moment for he did not know what would come out of his suitor's mouth next. The person smiled softly before approaching Renji and giving him a kiss that would leave him breathless.

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Time: 10:30 PM

Place: Kuchiki manor

Rukia was wandering around the manor looking for something to do. Renji was supposed to be meeting some mystery person and Ichigo was in the real world on a mission given to him by none other than her dear brother. Hmmm, where was Byakuya anyway? She wanted to ask him if he was the one who sent Renji that letter as a way to apologize to him for the way he has been treating him. She sincerely hoped so as she wanted Renji to feel some joy in his life again. She didn't want to see those cold expressionless eyes anymore. She wanted Renji back the way he was before Byakuya had destroyed him.

She continued to search the long seemingly unending halls, but still there was no trace of Byakuya anywhere. She only had one more place to check in the manor and that was his office. Walking there as fast as she could, Rukia knocked on the door to the office hoping to get an answer of some sort. When she had not received an answer, she opened the door quickly and the force of it caused some papers to fly on to the floor. She looked around and saw that the office was empty and smiled. It definitely had to be Byakuya who went to meet Renji. This was so perfect, she thought, and then something on a piece of paper caught her eye. It was no secret that Byakuya sometimes brought his work home with him, but what stood out most on this piece of paper was the handwriting.

She quickly scooped up the papers and looked for a signature of the person whose handwriting matched this particular one. She had seen it before as after all she was a lieutenant and paperwork came from all divisions whether formal or informal. Either way the handwriting on this paperwork matched the handwriting she had seen on the letter Renji received in the office earlier. She found the signature and her eyes widened considerably. "Oh my gosh...the one who sent Renji that letter was..."

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Time: 11 PM

Place: Under a tree by the river to the South, Seireitei

"...Hitsugaya...", Renji whispered against the white haired male's lips as he tried desperately to regain his breath. Why was he doing this? This was the same person who Byakuya had chosen over him. This was the same person who Byakuya had deemed more worthy to stay by his side and yet here he was kissing the Lieutenant of the 1st division. He moved back resting his head against the trunk of the tree he had sat down by. His thoughts were in a whirlwind of chaos and he didn't know how to make it stop.

Toshiro Hitsugaya, the lieutenant of the 1st division, the one who had taken his place by Byakuya's side, the one who he was almost two feet taller than, the same person who even though he looked like a child was about 19 in human years, and it was this person that wanted him. Renji closed his eyes trying to make sense of it all. He knew he wasn't dreaming as the only person who sometimes graced his dreams was Commander Kuchiki, but still this all seemed so unreal. He bit back a groan of frustration opening his eyes to stare into the calm, patient, turquoise eyes of Toshiro. He was going to open his mouth to say something else when Toshiro spoke up first.

"Thank you for saying you would give me a chance Renji. It means a lot to me believe it or not. I just want to know whether or not you truly want to give me a chance or if you were just caught up in the moment. I will not be angry at you either way.", Toshiro said calmly and evenly.

Renji looked at him for a moment, before moving a hand up to Toshiro's face touching it gently. "I meant it. I will give you a chance and before you say anything I will make sure it stays a secret. I don't want to mess anything up for you with all the rumors going around about me and if you do decide that I am not what you want...", Renji sighed closing his eyes and removing his hand. "Feel free to just toss me aside and I will promise not to say anything about it."

A blast of angry and hurt feeling reiatsu washed over Renji effectively surprising the 6th division captain. "I would never do that!", Hitsugaya said not bothering to hide the anger and hurt he had in his voice. "I am not the type of person who just takes what is useful, is not appreciative of someone's efforts, and then just tosses them away when the opportunity arises. In short, I AM NOT BYAKUYA!", he said that last part angrily. "Just because I am his lieutenant does not mean I agree with everything he does and yes that includes him naming me as his lieutenant. It was that day I had truly seen your smile. Your real smile when he was elected Captain Commander and the fake one you wore when I was named his lieutenant. Whether or not he cared, I could see the difference and I want to see that real smile again.", he said the last part calmer than the first.

Renji's eyes widened as he hadn't realized anyone had figured out that he was upset that day. "You knew I was upset that day? I could have sworn I hid it so well.", Renji said softly.

A small graced the white haired shinigami's face. "You did hide it well, but I was a captain at one point. I know what to look for.", Toshiro said to him. "I also could tell that you may have wanted to leave Soul Society all together, which is why when it came time to pick captains for the squads I told him you were to be captain of the 6th division. He had wanted to have Rukia as the 6th division captain, but I told him I had faith in your abilities to lead it and so he agreed and made Rukia your lieutenant. I knew he wouldn't ask you, so that is why I asked you myself."

"Thank you.", Renji said to him before looking up at the sky. They sat there for a long time before Toshiro stood up smiling down at Renji.

"We should get going now Renji. There is after all that meeting in the morning and I do hope you will be able to pay attention this time.", Toshiro said with a smirk.

Renji smiled. "Oh I think I might find something interesting to pay attention to.", he said to him, before getting serious all of the sudden. "I will also hide the fact that we are starting a relationship. I just don't want to ruin your reputation with one as destroyed as mine.", he said and kissed Hitsugaya quickly before running off not allowing him to say anything. He returned to his home in a considerably lighter mood than he had been in the past four years.

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Time: 8AM

Place: 1st division conference room

Renji kept the look on his face that he had worn for the past four years. He barely nodded to those that passed and acknowledged the other captains the same way he always had. The only difference was that if anyone cared to look they would see a slight spark of happiness and excitement in the rather stern captain's eyes. Other than that there was nothing to remark on. His reiatsu was still the same calm, level, and indifferent. He still dressed as usual with the tattoos on his forehead covered up by a white strip of cloth and Zabimaru resting faithfully by his side. He went into the conference room and sat on his designated cushion ignoring Matsumoto's latest attempt to get him to go out with her.

The noise in the room quieted down immediately as Lieutenant Hitsugaya entered the room and took his seat. Everyone turned and said their 'hellos' to him and he said hello to all of them. He looked at everyone in the room letting his eyes linger on Renji, who seemed to be ignoring his existence. It was a bit frustrating though not unexpected that Renji would act this way. After all, he was sure what Commander Kuchiki had done had cut pretty deep into the red head's heart. How someone could be so cruel to someone who stood by them for years, he did not know. Still, he had no problems in people knowing he was dating Renji and started thinking of a way to make him see that.

Byakuya entered the room taking his seat by his lieutenant. Everyone said their greetings to him as well and the meeting began. Renji looked ahead at the 1st division captain and his lieutenant. There sat one who wanted to try to make him happy and one who wanted to make him as miserable as possible. It was a bit strange since their personalities could seem identical at times. The meeting dragged on as everyone gave reports on their division and offered suggestions to fixing problems that had arisen within them. For the most part it was a pretty standard and boring meeting. Once it was finally over the captains all started to speak with one another and someone had went up to ask the Commander permission for something, that Renji didn't hear. He was still sitting down lost in thoughts about what to write in his next note to Toshiro, since he was determined to keep their relationship a secret to protect Toshiro.

His thoughts were interrupted when he was pushed back slightly and kissed passionately in front of every captain of the Gotei 13. He couldn't help but return the kiss, wrapping his arms around the smaller shinigami in his lap. The kiss stopped when both shinigami involved needed to breathe and Renji blushed as he saw the looks of shock on the other captain's face though Commander Kuchiki was no longer in the room.

"Abarai and Hitsugaya? Who would've thought?", Shunsui said from across the room breaking the silence.

"See now you don't have to hide it, Renji.", Toshiro whispered to him.

"Aren't you worried about what people might say?", Renji asked him.

"No. Why would I be? People talk about my height and more all the time. There was also a rumor that the Commander chose me because I was secretly his lover or something like that. So no, I do not care and I want everyone to know that you are with me.", he said to Renji with a calming voice and then moved to stand up. "I will see you later Renji.", he said before leaving to go check on the other members of the 1st division.

The other captains all stared at Renji before breaking out in applause and offering congrats on his new boyfriend. Renji blushed having been so used to negative attention for four years, it felt good to finally have some positive attention.
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Time: 1PM

Place: 1st division office

He couldn't concentrate and that was very unlike him. His mouth tightened into a thin line as he remembered the events that had come to pass in the captain's meeting today.

-Flashback-

He had been thinking about Renji since yesterday. He wanted to make it up to him and show Renji that he was truly sorry and start the process of forgiveness. He hated the fact that he was the one to cause Renji so much suffering and he wanted to bring back some of the joy his former lieutenant had and some of his spirit. If he was being completely honest with himself then, he knew he never quite felt complete without Renji by his side all this time. It was almost as if a piece of his soul had been sectioned off and kept away from him making him feel hollow inside. He had written a letter to Renji and had gone to the red head's favorite sunglass shop in Seireitei and bought him a really nice pair of sunglasses that practically screamed Renji. He had wrapped them up with a note that read:

Dear Renji,

I know I am the last person you'd expect to hear an apology from, but here it is. I had no right to treat you the way I did. You made yourself better to impress me, you stood by my side even when I was wrong, and you risked your life just to save mine. I took for granted having you next to me all the time and did not appreciate anything you did. I was wrong. I was acting like what they refer to into the human world as a 'spoiled brat'. I know I can not undo my actions and that you have every right to hate me for what i have done, yet you have not expressed any hatred towards me. Knowing that pains me even more. To know that you may blame yourself for my foolishness. You should be by my side and I know that now. I only wish I could go back in time and fix what I did to break you. To have you back by my side. To show you how I truly feel about everything you have done for me and then do whatever I can for you. Even now my only wish is that I'd be given the chance to mend your broken heart.

Truly sorry,
Byakuya Kuchiki

He had planned to give Renji the letter yesterday night, but he wasn't home and so he planned for after the captain's meeting. He was getting up to go ask Renji to take a walk with him when it happened. He watched in shock as his lieutenant went over and kissed Renji, who seemed to just melt into the kiss. That was when he flash stepped out of the room. He went back to his office and sat at his desk. His eyes stung a bit wanting to cry tears that he was not going to let fall. He had not expected something like this to happen. It had not seemed like a possible outcome in this situation as he would have never thought his former and current lieutenants would go for each other. Byakuya had placed the letter and sunglasses in one of his desk drawers and just got to work.

-End of Flashback-

Byakuya sighed and pushed aside his paperwork. Toshiro looked at him questioningly wondering what could cause the great Commander Kuchiki to lose his concentration.

"Is there something wrong Commander?", he asked.

Byakuya was quiet for a moment before answering. "No. So, how long have you been dating Captain Abarai?", he asked a now shocked Hitsugaya.

"I asked him out the day before yesterday and then we officially started dating yesterday Commander.", he said to him while doing more paperwork.

"When did you ask him out? I did not see you when I went to his apartment last night.", Byakuya said staring at the door in front of him.

"You were at his apartment?", Toshiro asked eyebrow raised.

"That is not important. I merely meant to give him something, but he was not at home. Now answer my question lieutenant.", he said in an authoratative voice.

"I sent him an anonymous letter the day before yesterday. He replied and we met up yesterday making it official.", Toshiro said and went back to signing documents and such. "What does it matter Commander? There is no law that states I can't date him."

The next words left Byakuya's mouth before he fully processed them, something that rarely ever happened. "It matters because you are now dating my Renji.", he said and only then realized what he had admitted to in some form.

Hitsugaya put down his brush, narrowed his eyes, and glared at Byakuya. "Your Renji? Last I checked he was mine. Last I checked you tossed him aside and made me your lieutenant. Last I checked you didn't even want him as 6th division captain. Last I checked you did everything in your power to make him miserable. Whether you like or not, I am going to show him that someone can truly care about and love him.", Hitsugaya said to him in a calm voice. "You want to know what he thinks of himself because of you?", he asked and then pulled out a letter and tossed it at Byakuya. "That was the letter he sent back saying he wanted to meet me."

Byakuya glanced at the letter and only one part stood out to him.

'Whoever you are, I am sure you have heard the rumors about my former captain turned captain commander tossing me away like useless garbage. I do not wish for you to date me only to find out I do not meet your expectations.'

"You know thats not it either. When we met up and he accepted my offer to try and make him happy. Do you want to know what he said to me? He said and I quote 'I will give you a chance and before you say anything I will make sure it stays a secret. I don't want to mess anything up for you with all the rumors going around about me and if you do decide that I am not what you want...Feel free to just toss me aside and I will promise not to say anything about it.' Do you know how much it hurt to hear him say that? Do you understand how broken he must be to believe that his worth is so little, that he can just be tossed aside without a second thought? Yet you have the nerve to call him your Renji. No, commander, he is not yours and I will do my best to make sure he is happy again and that he never lets you hurt him again." Hitsugaya said still perfectly calm. He did not fear the Commander as they had both been powerful captains in their own right.

Byakuya nodded and stood up handing the letter back to its owner leaving without another word. Renji doesn't believe he is worth anything and its all my fault, Byakuya thought, but if my lieutenant thinks I am going to give up trying to fix things with Renji he is sadly mistaken. Byakuya went back to his manor to come up with a plan to get Renji's confidence up and if things went very well get Renji away from Hitsugaya. It would take time yes, but he figured it would be worth to know he would eventually be the one to make Renji smile.

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Time: 8PM

Place: Renji's apartment

Renji was running around the kitchen trying to finish up dinner. He had met up with Toshiro and offered for them to have dinner at his place. Toshiro had smiled and accepted the invitation saying he would be at Renji's place around 8:30 that evening. He had finished cooking by exactly 8: 15 and worked on setting the table and placing the food on the plates. He even had slices of watermelon in the fridge for dessert as Matsumoto had told him that was one of her former captain's favorite foods. Finally everything was set and Renji quickly went into his room and changed his clothes as the ones he was wearing became dirty during the cooking process. The moment he finished getting dressed, he heard a knock on the door.

Smiling a little since it has been such a good day today, he went and opened the door. Being a good foot and then some taller than Hitsugaya he had to bend down quite a bit to kiss him. They pulled apart and Renji moved aside to give him room to walk into his apartment. Toshiro walked into the place and could smell the delicious aroma from the kitchen. He turned and smiled at Renji.

"That smells wonderful. I can't wait to taste it.", he said to Renji, who gave a small smile. Toshiro sighed thinking of what it would take to make Renji's small smiles reach his eyes. The two of them sat down eating the food Renji prepared. Toshiro complimented on the food while asking Renji things like his favorite color and more. Renji answered all the questions and asked a few of them himself.

"Ready for dessert?", Renji asked when they had finished dinner and he finished cleaning off the table refusing to let Toshiro help. After all this was sort of like a first date and Renji was just trying to do everything right as he hadn't been on a date in a long long time. He just kept repeating to himself not to mess up.

"You need to relax Renji. I can't be that intimidating, I am only 4 foot 4.", Toshiro said with a smile and watched a smile break on Renji's face as much as he tried to hide it. "So whats for dessert?", he asked him.

"Well I had no idea what you would like so I asked around and-", Renji pulled the watermelon out of the fridge and set in on the table. Less than a second after the plate was on the table, Renji was pulled into a very passioante kiss that knocked him off balance. He tried to regain it though it was actually harder than he thought it would be since he didn't want to accidentally make Toshiro fall off the chair either. It had all happened in the span of about five minutes but Renji ended up falling backwards, tipping over the chair with Toshiro falling on top of him as they hit the ground and yet somehow they were still kissing. Toshiro was the one to break the kiss as he was on top. His placed his hands on Renji's chest and sat up with his legs on either side of Renji.

Renji blushed at the rather compromising position that they were in. He looked at Hitsugaya briefly entertaining the idea of going further before nervousness set in. His usually well controlled reiatsu was fluctuating quite a bit as well. Toshiro sensed this but didn't move off of him. Instead Toshiro moved his lips down by Renji's ear. "Relax", he whispered. "We wont do anything like that tonight. I want to get to know you better, so I am not going to have sex with you on our official first date. I am not that kind of guy.", he said with a serious tone feeling Renji's reiatsu settle. "On the other hand, kissing you is an entirely different story."

He moved to kiss Renji again, but a knock sounded at Renji's door. Renji frowned wondering who could knocking at his door at 10PM and turned back to Toshiro ignoring it. The knock sounded again and Renji groaned inwardly. He personally just wanted to continue kissing Toshiro, as it was a feeling he hadn't felt in a long long time...since before Byakuya's betrayal. The knock sounded again and Toshiro just removed himself from on top of Renji. Renji got up straightening up his clothes that had gotten a bit disheveled in the fall and went to answer the door. Toshiro leaned up against the door frame in the hall so he could see, who he would have to fight for messing up his and Renji's first date. Renji opened the door to reveal none other than Commander Kuchiki.

"Commander?", Renji asked him immediately slipping completely back into the emotionless state he was so accustomed to by this point. "Sorry for my rudeness Commander Kuchiki. What may I assist you with this evening?", he asked while in the background Toshiro glared at the Captain Commander.

"I was merely going to ask if you wished to go out for a drink, my treat of course.", Byakuya asked face expressionless as he glanced behind Renji and noticing Hitsugaya. "Though it seems you already have company. So I shall take my leave, but if you ever wish to take me up on my offer feel free to come to the Kuchiki manor and we can go from there." Byakuya said to him and then leaned in close to Renji. "I am sorry for the way I treated you before Renji, but from this point on I promise you I will never stop trying to have you by my side again. Will you stay with Hitsugaya or will you be unable to resist me?", he whispered into Renji's ear almost seductively. Renji's eyes widened as he wondered what the hell was going on. He hadn't moved a muscle and was just standing there like a statue.

"Is there anything else you needed Renji for Commander Kuchiki?", came the colder than ice reply from Toshiro. He was more than annoyed at the Commander's unannounced visit.

Byakuya moved away from Renji. "Sorry. I was just telling Renji something about Rukia. You know how she doesn't like people knowing all of her business.", he said coolly.

"I am sure Rukia could have told him herself.", Toshiro said still glaring at his captain.

"Of course, but Rukia is on assignment to the real world and wanted me to deliver the message. Like I said I shall be leaving now. Captain Abarai feel free to take the day off tomorrow if you so please and Lieutenant I will see you first thing in the morning. Goodnight Captain Abarai and Lieutenant Hitsugaya.", Byakuya said and then left faster than either of them could blink.

Renji just shut the door and turned back to Hitsugaya. "Well that was rather awkward.", he said to him walking towards him and then he stopped noticing the pissed off look on his boyfriend's face. So much for having a good day, Renji thought.

"Rukia, huh?", Toshiro said.

"Hey I have no idea what was up with Commander Kuchiki.", Renji said looking at Hitsugaya. "I am sorry. I really wasn't expecting that. I guess you want to give up on me, because of him. I can't blame you. I am not really wor-"

"Stop Renji you are not worthless.", Toshiro interrupted him. "I am not upset with you. I just need to have a talk with someone later and no its not Byakuya." he said to him and then smiled at him.

Renji smiled. "Thank you.", he said to him and then moved closer to him. He got on his knees. "I really don't deserve anyone to show such ki-"

Toshiro placed his fingers on Renji's lips. "You deserve to be happy.", he said before kissing him again.

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Ok people. No there will not be a lemon in the next chapter, but most likely in the next two or three. No it will not be Byakuya and Renji...or will it? And Yes I know that Hitsugaya is probably completely OOC and the others had their OOC moments as well. DO NOT FEAR THERE WILL BE BYAKUYA X RENJI IN THIS FIC! but well Byakuya has to work for it. So enjoy the story. :) Any questions feel free to ask, but I will NOT reveal the story. Thanks, MV