Just Another Day in the Sereitei

Chapter 4: Zaraki

Disclaimer:  Bleach is own by Tite Kubo and Shonen Jump.  I am not making and money from this story.

The song ‘Weapon of Choice’ is by the genius Fatboy Slims (2003-Skint Records/ Astralwerks) with the music video directed by Spike Lee (featuring Christopher Walken).

This is one of my favorite chapters, hope you enjoy it.

Meanwhile at the 11^th Division barracks…

Ikkaku Madarame, 3^rd seat and Yumichika Ayasegawa, 5^th seat were sparing while they waited for their captain to show up.

“That was NOT a very beautiful move” complained Yumichika as he dodged a swing from Ikkaku.

“Ha!”

They stopped their fight as they saw the captain entering the barracks.

“WHAT THE HELL” swore Ikkaku.  Captain Kenpachi Zaraki, feared warrior captain of the 11^th Division was wearing a frilly PINK APRON!!

“All right men we going to do something fun today” he said gleefully.  “We’re baking COOKIES!”

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“Doesn’t that sound fun?”

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“Ah come on guys.  Think nice yummy chocolate chip cookies” he happily exclaimed as he jumped up and down.

“Yeah cookies”, exclaimed Yachiru.

Ikkaku and Yumickika looked at each other then back at their captain.

“Captain are you feeling all right” asked Yumickika hesitantly.

“I’m feeling great! It’s a wonderful day in the neighborhood.* The birds are singing, the sun is shining and we get to bake cookies.  Afterwards we can go play games with some children.  We can play jacks and hopscotch.  I love hopscotch.  Come along guys” he turned and went in the direction of the kitchen.

Ikkaku and Yumickika slowly followed their captain, hands on their zanpakutos.  They found him in the kitchen dropping ingredients into bowls, singing and dancing along to Fatboy Slims ‘Weapon of Choice’.

“… you can go with this, you can go that.  You can go with, you can go with that or can go with us…”** he stopped dancing.  “Come on guys you can even lick the bowls when we’re done.”  He twirled in time with the music flinging the flour that was in his hands all over Ikkaku and Yumickika.

They looked at each other, looked down at themselves covered with flour and ran screaming out of the room.

“What’s their problem” asked Kenpachi. ”Oh well” he resumed his baking (and singing and dancing) “…walk without rhythm and it won’t attract the worm.  Walk without rhythm and it won’t attract the worm.  If you walk without rhythm huh you never learn…”

“Yeah cookies” yelled Yachiru.

The men did not stop running until they reached the 4^th Division.  They did not notice the shadow on the building or the person who peeled himself out of that shadow.

“The test is going better than I thought, excellent.”  He melted back into the side of the building.

* Sorry could not resist the ‘Mister Rogers’ reference.

** If you have not seen Fatboy Slims video for ‘Weapon of Choice’ go see it now.  Then picture Kenpachi trying to do the dance moves…while baking…in a frilly pink apron…are you scarred for life yet?