Hanging by a Thread

Byakuya's turn to be confused.


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05.COMPLEXITIES OF A NONEXISTENT RELATION

He was done for!
He had been an idiot, but he already knew that! He had been an idiot most of his life, but this time no greater good would be attain nor would someone greatly benefit from all this mess. Not even Renji, but relaying that to his Fukutaichou required for the two to be alone and he was not sure he could do so right now. And now Abarai Renji would not leave him be in piece. What mess all of this became.

The words uttered by Renji rolled incessantly in his head like waves washing on a shore: I know you want me! There’s no point in hiding. With a heavy sigh he moved from the door he had been reclined against since Renji had said those words. He was right, but Byakuya had to hide, he had to! Nothing good would come out of these feelings.

He already had tried to show that by avoiding him these last weeks, by refusing to see him, by the changing protocols and wielding his Taichou power over him. But Renji was stubborn, he wasn’t listening. Matters had to be dealt in different ways. Only he was not sure what those ways should be.

He had been on his way out when he heard someone in the Training Hall, with a sense of déjà-vu he walked towards the room. Feeling silly for tiptoeing, and yet eagerness and yearning filled him, he stopped at the entrance and looked inside. Renji elegantly danced across the room, in steady, precise, rhythmic movements, oblivious to the world around him, eyes closed. All emotions of the other night flooded his senses. How he craved this man. All self imposed restraints gone, forgotten, meaningless. Renji shifted, coming back to the real world and so did he. Not completely lost, ha managed to snap out of the bewilderment and run, cowardly fleeing, to the safety of his office.

Now he made his way out of Headquarters again, alert so he wouldn’t be surprised by Renji and headed home, to the immense and empty, Kuchiki Mansion. The Fukutaichou in his mind all the way.

He needed to think, to find a solution for the Renji problem, to find a way of making Renji see that they would not work. A few immediate solutions emerged in his mind. He could have the Fukutaichou transferred to another Gotei, since the Aizen, Gin, Touzen incident, Gotei’s two, five and nine were without leadership, but although Renji had achieved the final release of his zanpakutou, he was still too immature and impulsive to lead a Gotei; or he could leave his place as a Taichou and dedicate himself to the Kuchiki family affairs full time, his stomach clenched, maybe not yet, he was too powerful as a Shinigami to just leave it all behind as a way of solving his troubled heart. Come to think of it, all these solutions weren’t really solutions; he was running, trying to find ways not to face Renji and his feelings toward the red-haired Shinigami.

Memories of their time together in the Training Hall slowly made their way into his mind. Renji's glistening body in the moonlight, their lips pressed together, tongues entangled, firm tight muscles under his warm touch, Renji’s member trembling in his hand, the almost unbearable need to have him. All shattered in seconds. When Renji had tried to remove the kenseikan, an unnatural fright lurked in his heart, an unknown fear. He had left roughly, hurting Renji in the process. A feeling of absolute loss and ruin assaulting his heart. Now the same sorrow crept in his heart as he approached the garden entrance to the Kuchiki Estate.

He liked to enter the estate this way; it allowed him to admire the magnificent gardens while musing through the latest troubles and tribulations, a favorite pastime of his, especially on a clear full moon night such as today’s. The two guards, clad in unperceived grey, that kept watch of the bright red, wooden, temple-like entrance, acknowledged Byakuya, nodding, accustomed to see him walk in at late hours.

He walked into the grounds of his property; the direct path to the Main House lay ahead creating an artificial division in the garden; to the right side stood three small hills that provided privacy as well as an incredible view from the House. These hills were overflowing with cherry-trees; in the winter times, under the heavy snow, the sight was heart-stirring, only overthrown by the swirling sakura in the spring. Many artists had tried to capture the natural and exquisite beauty of the surroundings, very few had succeeded. Byakuya owned those few masterpieces!

On the other side of the hills, facing the house, a small, gentle, waved slope ended near a shallow creek that divided the gardens in two, horizontally. On the farther shore from the gate, an immensity of different flowerbeds occupied the space around a small pond filled with the usual water lilies and lotus flowers as well as the traditional red carps; a few more steps and the House could be reached.

To the left side of the direct path, opposite the small cherry-tree filled hills, was a bamboo forest. Byakuya liked to think of it as a forest; several times had he roamed aimlessly through it’s midst as a child, it wasn’t really a forest but he liked to think of it as so; in the core, where no other sounds could be heard but those of nature, nor people seen, it had seem somewhere far and unknown to the young Kuchiki master. The forest stopped abruptly a few yards from the small creek. A streak of grass and willow trees on both sides of the water and the majestic Tea Pavilion could be spotted through the wind induced oscillation of the bamboo trees. Another astounding view.
The gardens and Tea House had been ordered some centuries before, by the 13th head of the noble Kuchiki clan, not only as a place where the family could enjoy its luxury but also as evidence of power to the other Seireitei Noble Houses.

Deleting all thoughts on political matters from his mind, Byakuya decided not to take the scenic route, heading instead to the left, into the bamboo forest, a way he usually took whenever he needed his solace. The calming sounds of the leaves brushing against each other, the quiet creaks of the trees leaning in the wind; flashes of full moon seen through the waving forest and his slight steps on the old fallen leaves; all seemed to have a soothing effect on him. All worries, momentarily, forgotten.

He reached the far end of the gardens, the bamboo trees already left behind, the strip of grass soft under his feet; the Tea House on the other side of the stream, a silhouette delined against it in the moonlight. Byakuya was still too far away to see who it could be. But something in the pose of the person felt familiar; although it was not normal to members of his household to be there at this time of night, he was not alarmed. A few more steps and he reached a place where the creek narrowed and three stones had been laid to allow a swift passage; lightly crossing the water and closer to the Tea Pavilion, he searched for the person, only to find it already gone; probably some servant finishing work.

He climbed the steps to the Pavilion, enjoying the murmured complaints of the old wood under his feet, the sighing trees in the light breeze, the mumbling water flow. Walking towards the elevated passage to the house, a convenient way to access the Tea House, constructed a few years after the building itself, to provide a more direct way from the Main quarters; an arched wooden bridge over the delightfully scented orchard. As he approached the house thoughts of well deserved rest surrounded him, maybe a sound sleep would put his mind in order and provide him with the solution that was eluding him. He turned the last corner of the Tea House intended to cross the wooden bridge and into his sleeping quarters but the way was blocked.

Renji had his back against the farther column of the bridge’s entrance arc; his legs extended, like those of a stretching cat, preventing an easy way through. A crooked grin lingering in the corners of his mouth, his head cocked to the side looking towards the Taichou. Byakuya stopped dead in his tracks, confusion swirling in his mind, an infinite amount of questions struggling to came out, the words "There’s no point in hiding" echoing. Eventually he managed to say:

“What…what are you doing here?!”

“Good evening, Taichou!” Renji said, chuckling and showing his teeth, the crooked grin still there, but not moving his body in any other way.

Byakuya raised an eyebrow saying nothing, waiting for Renji to answer him.

“It is polite to greet people one has not seen in a while!” he teased.

Still Byakuya did not answer, the beginning of a glare showing behind his eyes.

“Alright then, I’ll answer you, even if you’re not being a very good host. I came here to make sure you do not forget my…” Renji paused, the look of amusement temporarily gone from him; he retracted his legs and stood straight, arms along side of his body “…promise made to you” he finished.

Byakuya was confused, what promise did he mean, what was he talking about? “I do not recall any promise.” He declared.

Renji chuckled “Well probably cos I made it sound more like threat than a promise. But nonetheless I meant it.”

“Stop with the riddles, Abarai” Byakuya was beginning to lose control.

“Ohoho, with all we’ve done already, I thought we could be on first name basis by now, Byakuya-san” the large grin turned into a smirk, his tongue sweeping his lips.

Byakuya felt a rush of blood reach his face when memories of the other night, in the Training Hall, flashed through his mind; having Renji this close wasn’t helping either. He hoped the night would help hide it from the man standing in front of him. Renji looked intently at him, a serious expression taking over his face. But then a calm snicker emerged from him. All hope shattered.

“No need to blush, Kuchiki-taichou” he said while taking a step towards the black-haired man. “Well it’s only natural to react this way around the person you want” his hand s reached the band that held his hair, pulling it; a cascade of flowing red draped Renji’s back and shoulders.

Byakuya couldn’t help the small gasp that escaped his lips. Renji looked beautiful with his hair down. Any reply to his statement gone into oblivion.

With two quick strides, Renji approached Byakuya, forcing him to recede, his movement stopped by the railing around the Tea Pavilion; momentarily out of balance, he reached for the nearest point of support: Renji’s hand. It seemed to be the last incentive the red-haired needed.

He lunged himself at the Taichou, in a spilt second their lips pressed together, their tongues entangled. The leap had been so sudden and strong that Byakuya had no immediate response, he just let himself be pushed against the wide square column; the impact had emptied all air from his lungs, Renji’s attack on his mouth wasn’t helping either, his head felt dizzy from the lack of oxygen.

As he recovered from the fierce attack, his mind registered Renji’s body leaned against his and his tongue exploring the depths of his mouth, tangled in his own tongue, slowly caressing his palate, giving him a prickling sensation that was starting to turn him to mush. Renji’s tongue continued it’s explorations in his mouth.

Byakuya was unaware of time. It could have been minutes, or a whole day, he could not say.

Trying to fight the feeling of being completely undone and sensing his legs give in, he tried to move for better support, only to find his arms forced to the railing under Renji’s firm grip, while the endless ravishing of Byakuya’s mouth continued.

Apparently feeling Byakuya struggling under him, Renji slowed momentarily, rearranging their position, so the Taichou could seat in the railing, his back still pressed to the column. Taking advantage of the movement to free his hands, Byakuya held onto Renji fiercely, his hands caressing the firm body.

Using his palate licking technique to disarm Byakuya, Renji held his arms under him again. No other than mouth and tongue play would have place today. The Taichou protested lightly, slowly overtaken by his Fukutaichou’s avid attack.

Again Byakuya lost track of time, lost in this smothering kiss; dully, Renji began to decrease his rhythm, the tongue receding calmly to it’s place of origin, only lips intervening; Byakuya tried to reach Renji’s mouth with his own tongue, to keep the playing up, only to have it bitten in response, he retrieve the injured muscle and refrained from future invasions.

Continuing his retreat, Renji slowed the kissing, turned it into lip nibbling, and came to a full stop with a deep, heavy pant, his eyes remained closed, as if savoring.

Byakuya loudly groaned his complaint; a sense of infinite loss weighing in his heart.

Finally Renji opened his eyes, facing the other man, a content expression in his face. Bumping foreheads, he purred lightly:

“See how you want me?” a soft smile tugging at the corner of his mouth; when Byakuya tried to kiss him again, the smile widened to that of a boy in a toy shop and he added:

“For now it’ll be enough” and straightened his body away from the wanting. “I’ll take my leave now, Kuchiki-taichou” heading past Byakuya, descending the tea Pavilion steps and treading in the gravel path to the exit.

Before he could be out of sight, Byakuya, using all his strength, turned to watch him leave and called softly:

“Renji”

Renji turned his red hair still loose and waving in the quiet breeze; Byakuya gulped and added:

“You can call me…” a sob escaped “…Byakuya”

The moonlit smile that appeared on Renji’s face made his heart tighten. He was, unmistakably, done for!

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