Angry at the World

The… the audacity of that crazy motherfucker! Ichigo rubbed his lips vigorously on the back of his hand. It didn’t seem like the feeling of being kissed like that was going to disappear, and it pissed him off. He paced like a caged animal, grumbling to himself before pulling on swishy sweatpants and an old ripped zip-up. He had to go somewhere else to get this shit off of his mind. He thought that the Espada wanted a good fight and a good chance to humiliate him, but this was the second time he’d held him and the second time he’d just…wanted to talk.

He walked out of his room, his steps at first heavy with anger and purpose, but then light and soft once he remembered it was about 3 AM. He hated giving explanations. He paused when he passed Yuzu and Karin’s room. He put a hand on the door, thinking, and then slid it quietly open and tiptoed inside. There was Karin, who for once looked peaceful in sleep, and Yuzu, who smiled sweetly as always while she dreamed.

He sat down carefully on the edge of her bed. He was selfish, thinking about his problems with Shirosaki, Grimmjow and Aizen. They weren’t just his problems. He touched Yuzu’s hair delicately, the tension in his forehead lessening just a little. He had to fight for Karin, who had nightmares from the spirits she saw, and Yuzu so that she might never see them. He wouldn’t tell anyone else his motivation. He’d die so no one would ever hurt like he did.

Hm. That statement…Seemed familiar.

Dammit. It was like something Grimmjow had said. That was more than unfortunate, he thought with a frown.

“This is where I go to,” someone stated from the doorway. Ichigo jumped and turned his head to look. Isshin leaned against the frame, watching him.

“What?” He replied dumbly, hoping he hadn’t been awake too long.

“When I need to remind myself about the important things in life. I look at you kids, your faces when you sleep. I should be able to make your lives good enough that you wear those expressions all the time,” Ichigo looked away. He must not have watched Ichigo lately in his sleep. He didn’t often have pleasant dreams.

“…I know things haven’t been easy for you Ichigo,” Isshin began.

“I don’t want to have this conversation, old man,” he replied through gritted teeth.

“Someday I’ll make things right for you. And Karin, and Yuzu,” he said. Ichigo stood up abruptly and walked past him.

“You took too long. I’ll make things right,” he didn’t turn around to see the look on Isshin’s face, and he felt that just this once, he was justified in being so unfair.

As he left his house, he began a steady jog. He’d run until maybe he could sweat out the smell of fear. And if he couldn’t, then he’d just run until it was time for school, dammit. He had too many emotions roaring within him to think of returning to sleep, and he hoped that exerting himself would help him focus. Yuzu, Karin, his friends among the Shinigami; he’d keep fighting Aizen for them, and Karakura. His inner Hollow terrified him. He couldn’t conquer the terror this time. He could always feel Shirosaki’s cold claws around his heart. What were his options then? Learn to live with it. Fight in spite of it. No matter how often he didn’t understand his own anger, for now, he just had to keep pushing on.

Then, the problem of Grimmjow. Those emotions in his chest roiled again. He still didn’t know what the hell he was supposed to think about him. He was capable of killing him at any time he wanted, or raping him again, Christ forbid. But he hadn’t, and he kept showing concern for him. He saw insanity glinting in his teal eyes during every fight, but outside of them, he saw seriousness; a morose and depressed maturity that probably hurt whatever bit of a heart the monster had left. But god dammit, why was he wasting his time caring!? He would train, train, and train until he could rip him to pieces for what he’d done. That was the only plausible option. Dirty bastard kept messing with him, kissing him like that, with his tongue? What was he thinking?! He was just taunting him, and Kurosaki Ichigo didn’t get taunted without dealing out some retribution. He’d started the basis of that reputation way back in middle school. He wasn’t going to let it falter over a horny madman. Who kissed well enough to make him uncomfortable.

He refused to acknowledge whatever his subconscious had just said, and ran faster.

~

“Kurosaki-kun!” He trudged through the hallway and into his classroom, looking decidedly haggard. “Kurosaki-kun!” The feminine voice called out again. He sat down in his chair and slumped until he could stare at the ceiling.

“Oy, Ichigo!” A smack across the forehead that actually hurt.

“Lemme alone Tatsuki,” he complained.

“Oh, Tatsuki-chan, he had a rough weekend. You didn’t have to be mean to get his attention,” Inoue pouted. Tatsuki crossed her arms in defiance.

“He’s got no excuse for ignoring you,” she stated, her nostrils flaring. Inoue ran her fingers through her bangs nervously before walking closer to Ichigo.

“How are you Kurosaki-kun…? No one told me quite what happened, but…” She looked down at her shoes, clicking them together to avoid looking him in the eye. He smiled weakly. Inoue might be annoying sometimes, but she had some of the same innocent sweetness as Yuzu, and he couldn’t hate her for it.

“I’m fine, Inoue. So is everybody else, they’ll probably be in soon, ‘cept maybe Toshiro an’ Ikkaku.”

“That’s good,” she replied with an earnest smile. “I’m not surprised Abarai-kun isn’t here, I think he’s always late.”

“Those strange guys,” Tatsuki interjected. “Everyone’s either in love with them or afraid of them, I swear.”

“Yeah,” Ichigo replied, already not really paying attention anymore. He didn’t look when a commotion heralded the arrival of the class’ suspiciously good looking new students or at the teacher when he finally started trying to teach. Something was off… Renji was causing a ruckus with paper airplanes again, Chad was quiet, and Matsumoto was ignoring her neighbors’ attempts to look at her cleavage… Rukia wasn’t here, but he wasn’t surprised. She’d seemed awfully upset at Urahara’s. That was all normal.

Ah, he knew what it was. He looked lazily over at the seat next to him. Ishida hadn’t ribbed him about his defeat yet, or even said hello. Yet there he was in his seat, gazing out the window in a daydream. He didn’t know Ishida could daydream. So something must have happened to suppress the prodigy’s absorption of knowledge. He’d have to ask when they broke for lunch. If the Quincy finally found something worth daydreaming about, he wanted to know. It must be damned fascinating to be holding his attention so long. He actually cracked a grin; prying anything out of closemouthed Uryuu was a challenge, and now he was looking forward to it.

~

Ishida Uryuu sat on the edge of the school roof, managing to look elegant even while eating his sandwich.

“Hey Ishida,” Ichigo called, sounding positively devious. He was excited; the reaction promised to be good. If Ishida had hackles, they would have been raised.

“What do want, Kurosaki?” He asked, keeping his tone disinterested.

“Oh, nothing…just saying hello…” he said, and sat down next to him.

“We were wondering why you’ve been so quiet all day Ishida-kun!” Inoue piped in. Chad simply nodded, and Ishida paled.

“I’ve just felt reflective, is all,” he said curtly, pushing up his glasses with a finger. “Now if you’ll excuse me, my lunc—“

“You’ve never ever stared out the window during class. You pay attention even when you know more than the teacher,” Ichigo accused.

“People are allowed to change their behavior Kurosaki. Maybe you should look up the actual definition of “learning” and get back to me,” he replied scathingly. He was obviously miffed, and took another bite, feigning arrogance. But if he was miffed, that meant he was hiding something.

“Yeah, yeah,” he flapped his hand, brushing the remarks aside. “But you know what you forgot?” Ishida gave a dramatic, beleaguered sigh.

“No, what?” He asked, humoring him. Ichigo replied quietly.

“I lost a fight this weekend,” the Quincy winced. “And you,” he pointed, “didn’t mock me.” Behind them, Chad was still quiet and interested, while Inoue looked to be thinking very hard.

“I was being generous,” he remarked with a tilting up of his chin. “You can only make fun of the dirty mutt so long before it loses its appeal.”

“I’ve got it!” Inoue exclaimed, pounding her fist down on her palm. Everyone turned to look at her, puzzled. “I remembered where I’ve seen the expression on Ishida-kun’s face before!” She gave something of a victory pose to celebrate while beaming.

“…”

“…” Inoue blinked.

“Well?” Ishida asked acidly.

“That’s the face most boys get when they are daydreaming about their new special crush!” She said, clapping her hands together with joy. Ichigo stared for a moment, and then shook his head. He was more than ready to debunk the theory when he saw that Ishida was blushing a violent crimson.

“Really?” He asked, incredulous.

“It’s not like that—it’s not any of your business anyway!” He protested.

“Ooooh, Ishida-kun, I’m so happy for you!” Inoue cried.

“Who?” Ichigo inquired, still dumbstruck. Ishida huffily packed up the remains of his lunch.

“We’ll talk about this later, alright?” He replied through grit teeth. “It’s…Not a student, so don’t ask people, alright?”

“Can you believe I was right Sado-kun?! I bet she is a very intelligent and beautiful woman, for Ishida-kun to like her,” she nodded in agreement with her own statement. Chad tapped her on the shoulder.

“Inoue, perhaps you shouldn’t insert yourself so much into Ishida’s affairs…”

“I’m sure he’d be glad to introduce us, right Ishida-kun!?”

~

“You’re joking,” Ichigo accused.

“Just shut up and wait, will you?” Ishida demanded, pushing up his glasses. After diligent pestering from Ichigo, Ishida had finally revealed what he had been thinking about the whole day. Sort of. Chad lured Inoue away to lessen Ishida’s embarrassment, and because he didn’t like to meddle, but Renji and Ichigo stood with Ishida in a quiet part of downtown. Their heads were tilted up, looking at a glowing blue sign that read “Drame Erotique” in elaborate cursive and “PERFORMANCE SPACE” in simple block lettering below it.

“This is a real artsy part of town,” Ichigo stated, watching the people who entered the club, most of whom were dressed fashionably or at least looked interesting. A few particularly scantily clad women passed them when Ichigo blurted out “Is this a…burlesque show?” Renji stood on his tiptoes to study the sign.

“What the hell is a burlesque show?” He asked. Ishida turned red and shoved them both inside the club instead of answering them. Ichigo was definitely a little confused as he pushed them to a booth. This place was just bizarre. The carpeting was deep red, and the place was lit by dim blue, purple, gold and red lanterns. There was a faint haze of smoke, but only some of it from cigarettes. The rest was from incense that sat upon red tablecloths every few tables, fragrant and scintillating. All of the tables and booths surrounded a large stage, complete with curtains and stage lights.

“Ishida, I know you’re all fashionable, but this place is kinda over the top…” he said, still studying their table intently.

“It’s not a burlesque show,” he replied sharply. “It’s more like…Like a place for people to perform. I designed some costumes for the performers… I wanted to see my work and I… noticed some people, alright?” He pushed up his glasses and leaned back in his chair.

“Guys?” Renji asked. “Cause this place is pretty damn fruity—“his gaze caught and followed a particularly pretty waitress.

“You don’t have to be vulgar,” Ishida said. “The woman I came to see will be performing soon.”

“So Inoue wasn’t really right, was she?” Renji asked with a lewd grin. “It’s not so much a crush as it is—“ Ishida interrupted him.

“I have no qualms accidentally shooting you the next time you’re in a less public place,” his glasses flashed. Renji held his hands up in surrender.

“Okay, no more jokes unless this lady is uglier’n hell,” he offered.

“If she is, we’re not letting you live it down,” Ichigo offered. Ishida just grumbled. After a few minutes, a relaxed and cool female voice came out over the speakers.

“Our next performer will be Ruby Hanna, with a song and dance composition of her own creation.” Ichigo shot Ishida an inquisitive look.

“It’s a stage name!” He said in a hushed voice. All of the lights were shut off, and the stage was lit unevenly by crimson lights. A strangely raunchy and quirky tune started playing over the speakers, the rhythm kept by bongos or some other kind of drums, tinkling bells and interspersed occasionally by a bawdy trumpet and trombone. Taking steps with the beat, slinking out behind the curtain, was a curvy woman with glossy black cascading curls, dressed in a black lace corset, laced up stiletto boots, and slim black gloves. She began to sing, and her voice was deep and smoky, an old-fashioned type of voice. Ichigo raised his eyebrows in surprise at her appearance and then looked over at Ishida. He was enraptured. He looked over at Renji, who looked as though he might start drooling.

“Look at her legs, Ichigo,” he whispered.

The woman kept walking, singing, dancing and twirling slowly as she made her way to a pole. She spun around it a few times, doing acrobatics but never seeming as common as a stripper. Then she sat on the edge, crossing her legs and beckoning at the audience with her finger, still singing her quirky and strangely sexy song. Ichigo thought to himself that it was so very like Ishida to find a weird place like this, and fall for a woman like that. She would chew him up and spit him back out, if she even considered him. …Not that he really minded enjoying the show. She was a good looking woman after all.

She swung her feet back up to the stage, posing like a swimsuit model for a moment before languorously raising herself to her feet. The beat of the music slowly died, and she walked back to the curtain with purpose. She turned and blew a kiss from her cherry red lips, and disappeared.

The crowd clapped and whistled, and a few roses were thrown onto the stage. Ishida released a heavy sigh, and stared dreamily at the place where the starlet had last stood. Ichigo clapped too, while shaking his head.

“Wasn’t she lovely?” Ishida inquired of no one in particular.

“She was a fox!” Renji exclaimed. “No wonder you weren’t payin’ attention.” Ichigo was sure if Ishida had been paying more attention to them instead of the woman’s memory, there would be a whole lot more glaring going on.

“She said I can talk to her after all the performances are over…” He said, still seeming hypnotized.

“Wow… I never thought I’d see him smitten,” Ichigo remarked, and blinked. “He just seemed too logical for it.”

“Tell me about it,” Renji replied. “And for a mature woman like that? Well, he’s got guts.” He grinned and leaned back. “Widdle Uryuu is growin’ into a man,” Ichigo grinned back.

“Guess that means we have to hang around until all of the artsy shit is over,” he said. “Then we can give him even more shit tomorrow,” his grin widened and Renji laughed. The cool voice came back on over the loudspeaker.

“Our next performance is a dance composition, performed by two dancers classically trained in ballet.”

“Ballet? I guess boring in skimpy clothing is better than boring…” Renji trailed off as the stage lights switched to blue, and a male dancer came out on stage. “…The chick better be out soon,” he muttered. The music was a soft, lilting piano, accompanied by a few violinists who were just offstage. The string sections were often unsettling sections, making Ichigo feel a little nervous every time they played. The dancer was small but solid, pale with blonde hair. His made small, petite steps en-pointe in time with the piano. He made erratic sideways or backwards jumps whenever the violins played, and as a woman began to sing in a muted voice, his arms swayed, his technique seemingly no longer perfect.

Ichigo felt strangely pulled in. He’d never cared about any sort of dance, but something about the dancer’s face drew his attention. He did several quick turns to the side of the stage before falling to the ground. A second, taller male dancer stepped out, taking all of his steps in a circle. The first dancer looked on, still on the floor, while the second performed vibrant leaps and complicated footwork. He wondered what all those moves were called; they actually looked a little difficult. The second dancer was more muscled, with darker blonde hair and a haute expression.

Why wouldn’t he help the other, he wondered. He was looking at him with such a longing expression, it seemed. He had to remind himself it was just a dance. Finally, as the music slowed, he slid to the ground next to him, and pulled him into his arms, both closing their eyes in a loving expression, as if desperation had finally succeeded and brought them together. Ichigo swallowed. Defined muscles bunched, and he pulled the faltering dancer to his feet, and they danced together. He couldn’t tear his eyes away. The music faded to twinkling notes every few moments, as both dancers slowly slid to the ground. He could have sworn the smaller pale dancer was looking right at him while his hands grasped at the chest of his partner. Then both of their eyes closed, and the curtain swept shut in front of them. Quiet applause bloomed in pockets amongst the audience, and a few more roses were thrown.

Ichigo hoped that the lights remained dim for a moment longer, because he found himself unable to make the heat in his cheeks disappear. Watching the men dance so intimately was… He crossed his arms huffily, and decided he would yell at Ishida for making him sit through something so weird. He would also keep staring forward now that Renji was eyeing him with far too curious of a gaze.

~

All three boys stood inside Ruby Hanna’s dressing room. Ishida had dropped his dopey demeanor and become his usual stiff and solid self. Renji was trying to look annoyed, but kept almost smirking as he looked at the several risqué outfits on display. Ichigo was just ready to leave.

“Uryuu!” A tall girl burst in through another door, looked around, then hugged Ishida tightly and kissed him on both cheeks. Ishida adjusted his glasses, determined to appear stony despite his red cheeks. Renji and Ichigo exchanged puzzled looks over the familiarity. The girl had dancing blue eyes, shaggy boy cut black hair, and was dressed in… a black corset.

“Hey… “ Renji’s brow furrowed.

“Ah, this is…Danna. Danna, these are my friends, Kurosaki Ichigo and Abarai Renji,” Ishida said awkwardly.

“Aren’t you that burlesque chick?” Renji asked, his eyes squinty with distrust. Ishida looked furious.

“Ha!” She grinned. “Yes, I wear a wig. I am so glad to meet you, Uryuu’s friends!” Ichigo blinked. Her Japanese was…terrible. Renji was holding back laughter like a champion.

“Danna is from Canada. She’s here to perform and go to school,” Ishida interjected, trying to prevent any bursts of laughter at the object of his adoration.

“I know my Japanese speaking is very bad, I am sorry!” She laughed again, a rich, throaty sound. “It is okay if you laugh. Uryuu made my costume. We talked very much, and he will help me speak Japanese better,” she said most of it with hand gestures, obviously aware of her deficiencies in the language. She started to look embarrassed. “Your names… Kurosaki-san and Abarai-san?” Ichigo smiled a little and nodded. Renji started elbowing Ishida with a wicked grin on his face. “I am very happy, if you see more of my performances.”

“Yeah, sure, Danna,” Renji said, still grinning like a fool. Ichigo nodded, and Ishida twitched.

“I think we should go,” he said with a glare at his friends.

“It was very nice to meet you! Goodbye!” She waved. Ishida shoved them outside with haste.

“Hear that, Uryuu? She calls you Uryuu, and we’re Abarai-san and Kurosaki-san!” Renji’s smirk was self-satisfied.

“Do not call her by her first name; I’m trying to teach her better Japanese!” he said hotly.

“Oh yeah, tutoring her in Japanese,” he said sarcastically. Then he spoke in a fluttery falsetto, miming a girl’s hand gestures. “Oh, Uryuu! You are so helpful Uryuu! Oh, that feels so nice Uryuu! Ury—“Ishida started bashing him on the head. He didn’t interfere. He knew Ishida was in a mood, and whatever distracted Renji from noticing his fascination with male dancers, he welcomed. Plus, this was funny as hell. Tutoring the cute foreign girl indeed, he thought with a grin. He hoped Ishida would get some action… Maybe he would be friendlier.

Later, he tossed and turned in bed, thinking of the dancers. The one who looked back at him as he watched; he couldn’t get that moment out of his head, and it annoyed him. He wasn’t—Well, it was just strange to see two male ballet dancers. He was interested and wanted to learn more. Just interested in the dancing, not the people.

~AN~

Dundundun. Oh no... Every Bleach yaoi fangirl's nightmare, Inoue Orihime, has shown up. Well, I think I've made her less annoying. She won't have too major of a role.

I have some clarifications! One, since Bleach is taking place in Japan, I'm assuming that this english is all Japanese. I'm trying to use the honorifics as accurately as I can because I think it adds depth to the character interactions, especially with a foreign chick. I am also following the main plot of Bleach fairly closely. Some events I won't go into detail on since I am not obsessive enough to write out all the plot scenes from the anime, and some things might be changed, but it will follow the same general events.

Some of you are probably worried now that I've started introducing some original characters. You need not fear for Ichigo's relationships-- There may be some speedbumps, but things are basically going to go how you think. As for Danna? I don't know where I'll go with her. She's no Mary Sue or favorite character of mine; I just could see Ishida falling for someone so unlike himself. If you all absolutely hate her and hate any thought of hetero, I'll see what I can do. But hetero happens! Sorry.

I tried to make a nice long chapter... It probably wasn't too exciting to read, but it's building up to some good stuff. Thank you for sticking with the story folks! Comments, critiques, reviews, gimmegimmme!