Finding Home

Warning this is Yaoi which means boy x boy don’t read it if you don’t like it.



Darkephoenix: Well I was a psych major in college before I switched to nursing. Maybe some of that stuff I heard in class is subconsciously influencing me =p. Thanks for the review.



Affie and Rysha: thnx you two for continuing to read my stories. I like my little universe that I made. I hate hurting my versions of the Bleach ppl but it help bring them together with their mates. The end justifies the means so Machiavelli says anyway.



Jennifer: I absolutely loved the last chapter. It was very intense for me to write. Prolly more intense for me than yall cuz I had the emotions of what I was wanting Kira to be feeling coursing through me.



Yakumo: I like Renji. At first I wasn’t sure I would use him cuz he is used so much in fan fiction that I have developed a taste for the rare pairings. Things worked out good with him and I’m glad I chose him for Kira. Keep reading more good stuff to come though I have no idea what hehe.



Finding Home



Chapter Five



What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

~ by Ralph Waldo Emerson ~





The morning sun was barely peeking over the horizon. Renji opened his eyes and gazed lovingly at the sleeping man beside him. In his sleep, Izuru looked like a small child cuddled up against his chest. The long blonde bangs gave his face a innocent appearance as they fell across his cheeks. Long sooty eyelashes lay across cheeks so pale that tiny blue veins could be seen beneath the surface of his face. Taking a finger, Renji traced the line of a vein until it reached his jaw. Renji sighed as he gazed upon the sleeping man, so trusting of him. This man’s soul had been nearly destroyed. If Renji had waited……the thought sent a tendril of dread snaking through his heart.



When he had walked into his apartment, Renji had been terrified of what he would find. He wondered, if Kira had actually killed himself, would he have reacted as Hitsugaya-taicho? Would his joy be taken from his life? Would eternal sadness be reflected in his eyes as it did Hitsugaya. Renji knew it would have been so. The sight of Izuru crumpled on the floor, blood trickling from the cut on his chest, had broken Renji’s heart. If just that sight could practically cripple him, he knew Kira’s death would destroy him. He didn’t know when Kira had grown to mean so much to him. He had always taken their friendship for granted until Kira seemed to draw into himself after Ichimaru left with Aizen.



Renji knew what he must do. He needed to get Izuru away from here for a while. He needed to be someplace where he could begin to heal. Renji thought for a moment running ideas through his mind and tossing each away. After several minutes of playing his options about in his head, something occurred to him. An idea that might be just what Kira needed.



Carefully unwrapping Izuru’s arms from his waist, Renji stood and covered the sleeping man. Grabbing Zabimaru from where he had laid him beside the futon the night before, Renji secured him at the waist and as quietly as possible snuck out of the apartment. Making his way silently through the streets until he came to a large manor. The guards at the gate bowed slightly to him. He was a known visitor, though Renji was sure they were wondering why he was coming so early.



Banging the knocker, Renji stood calmly and awaited for an answer. An elderly servant answered the door.



“Is Kuchiki-taicho and Ichimaru-taicho still at home?” asked Renji of the servant. This would prove more difficult if they had already made their way to their respective offices. Not impossible but it would make it more difficult for him to get back to the apartment before Kira began to panic again.



“Hai, Abarai-fukutaicho. I shall announce to them your arrival. Please wait here.” The servant bowed and disappeared into a doorway. Returning a few minutes later, the servant bowed and gestured for Renji to follow him. As Renji followed the servant, he couldn’t help but admire the manor. The entire place screamed wealth and prestige. Much of the elegant décor was the result of Hisana-dono. She may have come from the Rukon but she had always had good taste in such things so Renji had learned once from a visit to the manor.



It had surprised Renji when his taicho had offered to care for the injured Ichimaru, and surprised him even more when they began to live together permanently. He had always thought Kuchiki-taicho as straight as they came or at least a person with too much pride to risk publicly involving himself in an unconventional relationship.



The two men had threatened to defy the great Kuchiki clan if they were forbidden to remain together. The Kuchikis had quaked at the thought of losing the most powerful leader they had ever had and had relented to Byakuya’s demands. Renji couldn’t complain though. Ever since the two taicho had begun a relationship, Kuchiki-taicho had become a much more pleasant man to be around. The Sixth Division was overjoyed at the change in their taicho.



Upon entering a dining room, Renji noticed both Byakuya and Gin seated enjoying some tea before leaving for their divisions. Renji bowed to his taicho. Byakuya looked troubled at seeing his fukutaicho so early in the morning and looking slightly unkempt as if he had slept in his uniform. Which he had. Byakuya motioned for Renji to join them. A servant placed a cup near Renji, and filled it with aromatic tea. Renji nodded thanks to the servant and turned his attention back to the two taicho. Renji took a sip of the tea to steady his nerves before beginning.



“Forgive me for disturbing your breakfast, Taicho.” Renji began. “I came to ask you to allow me some personal time.” Renji then turned to face Gin. “Ichimaru-taicho I also came to ask you for leave for Kira-fukutaicho as well.” Gin looked up from his tea .in surprise.



“What about Kira?” asked Gin, his attention now claimed.



“Kira is…….unwell.” said Renji cautiously, not wanting to reveal anything to the two taicho as Izuru wouldn’t want that. “I wanna take him to the Living World for a while. I think it would be good for him to get away for a bit.”



Gin stood up, a frown no apparent on his face. “What the fuck is wrong with Izuru?” growled Gin a menacing look on his face. Izuru had always been more than just a fukutaicho to him, he was like a younger brother. Gin was very protective of Izuru. The thought that he was unwell frustrated Gin because he had known for weeks that something was off with Izuru but could never get the younger man to talk to him. It had hurt a little.



Renji looked uncomfortable. He really was unsure what to do at this point. He knew that Kira needed this but at the same time it really was Kira’s place to tell his taicho. Byakuya was the only calm one in the room. He picked up on Gin’s obvious frustration as well Renji's uncertainty.



“Renji, anything that you say to us in this room will not leave this room nor will it be brought up should other events arise. Neither myself nor Ichimaru-taicho will speak to Kira-fukutaicho or any other shinigami regarding what you tell us. No actions will be taken regarding anything you say to us, it will be as if you told us nothing.” Byakuya stated looking at Gin for affirmation. Gin nodded, frown still in place.



Renji took a deep breath. This would be difficult to say. Honestly, even with the word of his taicho, it was such a hard thing to discuss. Renji had never been in this type of situation before. How could he put to words the agony he had witnessed the night before. How could he tell these two taicho the absolute terror that had completely gripped his heart. This favor he was asking of them was taking more effort than he had imagined.



“Kira….he….I mean.” Renji attempted, but failed. Taking a shaky breath to steady his nerves, Renji prepared himself for what he was about to say. Never before had he had such difficulty saying anything that was on his mind, but this was so very hard to verbalize.



“Kira has been self mutilating himself.” Renji said quietly, his eyes not able to meet those of his superiors. What would he see when he did? The silence was deafening. Renji could see Ichimaru-taicho clench his hand on the table. Glancing up, Kuchiki-taicho’s eyes were wide a sure sign of surprise on his normally stoic face. Turning to look at Gin, Renji saw the man’s face pale to a ashen shade.



“How long?” asked Gin in a carefully controlled voice. Renji could all but see the strain in the man’s face. His normally grinning face now devoid of all humor and playfulness. This was the true face of the warrior that had faced and defeated Aizen.



“I don’t know for certain. I believe that he probably started shortly after Aizen defected.” Renji said carefully, knowing full well the conclusion that both men would draw from his statement. He couldn’t voice that it was indirectly Ichimaru’s fault. The man had given most of his life to Soul Society, sacrificing happiness and enduring terrifying amounts of physical and mental abuse in order to appear loyal to Aizen.



If it was possible for the man to get paler, he accomplished it. Byakuya stood quickly and knelt beside his lover. Renji could see the pain and shame reflected on the face of Gin. Byakuya had his hand firmly rubbing Gin’s back and was murmuring in his ear. The man appeared to relax, though he remained deathly pale.



“Continue Renji.” said Byakuya, who remained beside his lover’s seat. Renji nodded and continued.



“It has gotten really bad lately. I prevented him from killing himself last night. I think I can help him but we need to be away from Soul Society and away from people that would judge him. He doesn’t deserve that. I thought we could go to the Living World for awhile.” Renji was unsure what else to say, so he simple waited while both taicho digested the information.



“I will release Izuru under one condition.” Gin said and both Byakuya and Renji looked at him. “Every day ya will send a Hell Butterfly to me reportin’ his progress. In two weeks if ya haven’t gotten sufficient progress, ya come back and I deal with this.” Renji started to open his mouth in protest. Byakuya held up a hand silencing him.



“I personally believe that this should be handled with Division Four. However, doing so would result in possibly Kira-fukutaicho being removed from duty. I know neither Ichimaru-taicho nor Kira-fukutaicho want that. Kira was a lifesaver to Division Three after Gin left. To have things come to such an end would be regrettable. But simply leaving him in your care alone is also a risky venture. In this way, both Ichimaru taicho and myself would be able to see any progress with Kira. I will agree with Ichimaru-taicho’s stipulations.” Byakuya finished with a sigh. He and his lover would have a lot to talk about after Renji left. The frustrated reiatsu flowing off of Gin was heavy and Byakuya noticed that Renji was beginning to sweat and shake under the pressure.



Renji nodded, if this was the best he could get at least he would have time to work with Izuru. Neither taicho had said Kira had to be fully recovered in two weeks, he just had to show progress. Zabimaru growled in Renji’s mind. The wild zanpakuto didn’t like his master being forced into a corner. Renji placed a comforting hand on the pommel of the weapon. Zabimaru quieted but not before letting Renji what he thought of the whole situation. The zanpakuto could be as loud as Renji when he wanted to.



“When can you leave, I will send a message to Urahara and he will have gigai for both of you.” said Byakuya standing.



“I would like to leave as soon as it can be arranged. How will you explain our absence?” asked Renji.



“I will be sending you both on a mission. But the mission is actually yours Renji.” said Byakuya with a softening of his features. “You mission is to aid Kira-fukutaicho in his recovery by any means necessary. I will arrange for the gateway to the human world to be opened at 3 o‘clock. Can you both be ready by then?”



“Hai, Taicho.” Renji bowed in gratitude to both shinigami taicho. This was wonderful news. Renji was determined to put his all into this. Izuru’s happiness meant the world to Renji. He wanted to see the smile reach the blonde man’s eyes again. Renji bowed again and left the two men alone and made his way back towards Kira’s apartment. They had a lot to do and very little time to be ready.



“Byakuya…….I caused this.” whispered Gin his eyes expressing the immense sadness that was radiating through his being.



“Don’t say that. You know as well as I that there were probably more factors involved. You are not at fault. If you had not left then we would have in no way been ready for Aizen. Also, if you had taken Kira with you………..” Byakuya said as he pulled the upset man into his arms. Placing gentle kisses along Gin’s jaw line, Byakuya sought to comfort his hurting lover. Turning his head, Gin captured Byakuya’s lips in his own in a desperate kiss. Thrusting his tongue into his lover’s mouth, Gin relished in the unique flavor of Byakuya. Gin didn’t think he would ever tire of the taste of him. This was the only person in all worlds that could soothe his soul. Without Byakuya, Gin feared he would still be lost to his personal demons.



Byakuya pulled back panting slightly. An enchanting pink flushed across his cheeks. Gin allowed a smile to return to his face. Pulling Byakuya into his arms, Gin simply sat, relishing in the feel of the slender man’s body against his own.



“Will they be alright?” asked Gin quietly as he laid his head on Byakuya’s shoulder.



“Renji has a deep affection for Kira. I think if anyone can help him, he will.” said Byakuya, running his fingers soothingly through Gin’s hair. He and Gin would do their parts, but ultimately it was up to Kira and Renji. Renji would lend his strength to his lost friend, but it would take Kira’s acceptance of help to make healing possible. Byakuya hoped that Renji was successful for both Kira and Gin’s sake.



TBC



AN: Ok hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. I had a horrible time getting a chance to sit down and write it. Family are here for the holidays and so they were constantly distracting me XD. Let me know what you guys think.