A Touch of Insanity

To everyone who reads, Thanks for your interest!

Just a note to those who are confused by my writing: The journal entries are after his rescue and my attempt at showing his recovery and interaction with Aizen. I hope that clears things up a bit.

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The Winter War was a misnomer if there ever was one or maybe it was just hopeless optimism because it did not look like the fighting would be over in just one season. The attack on Karakura or more precisely, the major battle for the King’s key was over only for the moment. The war itself was on hold for now so that both sides could regroup. Tousen, Barragan, and many fraccion were the casualties for Aizen’s side in the battle for Karakura. Ichimaru Gin was wounded but it was unknown how severely. Harribel had grabbed a defeated Stark and jumped through a garganta before the killing blow could be delivered.

The defenders also took some difficult hits. Soi Fon still was missing part of her arm as was Hacchi. Komamura-taicho and Hisagi fukutaicho were both severely injured in taking down Tousen. Hinamori Momo, Matsumoto Rangiku and Madarame Ikaku were still recovering from their fights though they should be up and about soon. And everyone from the Sou-taicho down worried and waited for the team that had entered Hueco Mundo.

The town had been rematerialized in the real world and repairs were being made to the pillars so that they could transfer the town again.

Urahara was able to reopen the garganta the captains had entered and all that was left to do was hope the others would reappear soon.

It took two days before they came stumbling through the gate. Dirty, tired and looking dejected they all came through including Orihime. The captains were tired but only mildly worse for wear. Kenpachi, his uniform torn and bloodied, herded Kurotsuchi-taicho ahead of him while Yachiru bounced around them with her never ending energy. In the fukutaicho’s usual place, Hanataro hung in an exhausted stupor. Byakuya and Unohana flanked Chad who was carrying Ichigo on his back. The girls, Rukia, Orihime, Isane and Nemu came behind them, while Renji and Ishida covered their retreat.

Urahara swiftly closed the gate as soon as the last person exited.

No words were spoken as they all pretty much collapsed. Byakuya of course gracefully sat down instead of full on collapsing. Chad gently lay Ichigo down before sprawling on the ground next to him.

Kenpachi just unceremoniously dumped Hanataro on the ground and with a thump lay in a cloud of dust, snoring. Kurotsuchi tried to move toward Ichigo but found that Kenpachi had somehow grabbed hold of his ankle and he could not pry the larger man off. With a huff, the creepy taicho leaned up against a nearby boulder and closed his eyes.

The girls were all huddled together on the ground, back to back or just leaning on one another in exhaustion.
Ishida and Renji just turned back to back and slid to the ground.

“My, my…” Urahara murmured. He gestured to Tessai to bring refreshments. “Why is everyone so gloomy? It looks like a successful mission and everyone is here. The Sou-taicho will be happy to hear everyone is safe.”

Many of them looked away from the shop owner. A few sniffles were heard from the girls.

Orihime looked up with tear filled eyes.

“Kurosaki-kun… He is…” She started to sob. “He came to rescue me and I can’t help him!”

“What?” Urahara looked over to Ichigo whom he’d thought was just exhausted. He noticed the bandages wrapped around his eyes and the slight twitching of his hands.

“Explain.” The seriousness in his tone catching Tessai’s attention and both went to examine Ichigo.

“He went to fight Aizen alone.” Rukia started.

“When we arrived, he was unresponsive and convulsive on the floor.” Ishida supplied.

“He was crying. Oh man! His eyes wide open like he could see somethin’… a nightmare… somethin’ horrible.” Renji added and ran a hand down his face.

“We bandaged his eyes closed. He just…stared.” Hanataro added in his tiny voice.

“Kurotsuchi-taicho tried to do something to him.” Rukia accused. “We were able to hold him off until Unohana-taicho arrived.” Everyone glared at the aforementioned captain.

“I can only assume Aizen has used his hypnosis ability and somehow locked him in a vision of some sort.” Unohana added.

“Hmm,” The former taicho scratched his head. “I do not know how to snap him out of it but maybe we can see what it is that he is seeing. Once we know that we may be able to come up with something. In the mean time everyone get their rest. I should have something set up shortly.”

…

“Are you sure about this Urahara?” Rukia asked.

“Nothing is ever one hundred percent but this will not harm him and we may just figure out what is happening inside him.”

He finished hooking up the wires to Ichigo’s head and turned the machine on.

A screen across the room lit up and blurry images appeared. With some more adjustments on his equipment, Urahara was able to bring the picture into focus.

Gasps came from around the room. Ichigo stood there with Zangetsu in his hands. Tears flowed from his eyes, leaving trails in the blood that covered him, as he looked around at a mess of bodies. His sisters lay at his feet, dead, with injuries that could only be caused by a sword. His father lay a little further away in a puddle of blood and missing an arm. Image after image appeared, featuring Ichigo and someone he knew. In every scene, Ichigo was the aggressor and each person was slain in a very bloody manner. These images looped over and over.

All everyone who was present could think was that this was one of the cruelest things that someone could do to the orange haired teen. For a person who was a protector to the core to be put in a situation where he destroys those he loves with his own hands was to break him, crush him.

…

“The only thing that we can think of without being invasive or destructive was to put Kurosaki-kun into a medically induced coma. Hopefully this will allow his brain to reboot and he will be fine afterward.” Urahara explained to the others.

“Kurosaki-kun will be transferred to the fourth division as soon as possible to be monitored. Unfortunately, this will not be an overnight process. To make sure that he is given enough time to recover from the hypnosis, he will be in a coma for at least a week.” Unohana further explained. “He will more than likely need counseling after this traumatic event. I hope all of you will offer him the support he will need.”

“Isn’t there a kido or something that can just wipe those memories from his mind? After all they were placed there, why can’t those visions just be removed?” A few others agreed with Rukia’s questions.

“That was considered when we were discussing options. There is no kido spell that would let him keep his memories intact. It would be an all or none procedure should we take that route. He would forget everyone and everything that he has known. He would remember basic things like how to use eating utensils, maybe some things he learned in school and possibly his family, though that is unlikely.”

“But, how can that be? We use memory modifiers all the time!” Rukia protested.

“The modifiers target recent memories in the short term area of the brain before those become long term. Unfortunately, with your delay in getting here and no true knowledge of what parts of the brain are affected by Aizen’s ability, we are unable to use the same technology.” Urahara scratched the back of his head and sighed. “Well, you know how it’s said in cooking that it is easier to add than to take away? The same saying applies here. There is no way to just pinpoint one specific memory or even a series. We would have to rifle through his mind and possibly cause more damage than we can hope to ever repair.” Urahara said sadly. “Our best option at the moment is to try and just stop the continuation of these visions.”

“We are ready to leave, Urahara-san.” Unohana gestured to the others. Ichigo lay on a stretcher, ready to be taken to Soul Society. Hanataro took one end while Renji lifted the other. “A report has been made to the Soutaicho and we have approval to begin whatever treatment is deemed necessary. If you come up with anything that can help, let me know.”

“Of course.” Urahara agreed and then laid a hand on Rukia’s shoulder for a moment. “Have faith in him Kuchiki-san. He is strong. Believe he will pull through.”

The shopkeeper stepped back as the senkaimon opened and just watched with sad eyes as they disappeared into the portal.

…

“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

The scream echoes throughout the fourth division. Shinigami scrambled from all corners of the building, racing toward the room that the scream came from.

When Unohana-taicho rushed in, her face paled and she swayed a little. There before her was something that she never thought would happen within the walls of her own division. The wall nearest the bed was splattered with blood. Kurosaki Ichigo’s body lay sprawled in a strange position in the bed, with blood starting to pool under him. Multiple stab wounds were visible across his torso. His right arm dangled from the bed and his left leg hung off the other side. On her knees, not far into the room, was Kuchiki Rukia. Her violet eyes were wide in shock.

Snapping out of her stunned stupor, the medical taicho ordered her subordinates to bring emergency equipment to the room and called for her trauma team. She got someone to lead Rukia out and sedate her as she rushed to save Ichigo’s life.

A nearby figure watched with malicious glee before fleeing with a large bundle slung over their shoulder.

…

(excerpt – Ichigo’s journal)

I didn’t really trust Aizen. A part of me was scared of this man. No not just scared but deathly afraid. How do you trust someone who keeps things from you? How can you not be afraid when something inside screams at you when he comes near?

Then, despite all of that, I was starting to get used to him being there and just as that distrust was being chipped away, he told me the truth. He told me about his part in making me this way. He told me about his powers and that he used them on me.

He said that my dreams of people dying were remnants of what he had done and that as far as he knew, each and every person that had died in my dreams were still alive.

I think I passed out or had one of my episodes then. I just remember being so furious and hurt.

When I woke up, I was strapped down to the bed. The restriction made panic rise within me. Just as I was about to lose it and scream, Aizen was there again. He held me close as he loosened the ties.

Aizen allowed me to cling to him and cry and beat at his chest, all the while he crooned that I was safe and that he was sorry.

I do not know if I should believe his remorse in playing the part he did in my descent into insanity. All I know is that I am too dangerous to be allowed around anyone who can’t protect themselves. He is the only constant in my life so far and the only one I can cling to when the need arises. I wonder if that was by design or if he really is the only one who can handle me.

Should I trust that we are no longer enemies? I am so confused.

… … …

Aizen Sousuke is an interesting man. He stays with me most nights now or more like I stay with him. They have had me moved into his private quarters.

We talk about books that I read and what type of day he has had. He tells me about the others in this place. I am told that I have met these others but I am not myself during those times. The one he speaks most about is a man named Ichimaru Gin.

Apparently, Gin is like a son to him. This man is someone Aizen met over a hundred years ago when he was a fukutaicho and the other a child.

Sometimes when Ichimaru’s name is mentioned, I would get a flash of silver hair and a smile. Is that him?

There are times that I get this feeling of hurt and want and need when Ichimaru comes up in conversation. Is that jealousy?

I don’t know my own mind most times so how am I supposed to figure out all my feelings?

God I am an idiot. I couldn’t be falling for my enemy now could I? I should always remember that he is not my friend and he helped make me the way I am.