Crush: Uke Ichigo Collection

Review Replies- Bunnybop05: Dirty in a good way =D Haha, that made me laugh... Thanks!
ShadowofLight: Hm, maybe I should have a separate list... Maybe I could include that in the contents section? Kind of like a preview type thing?
VioletEyes: I see this as a more fluffy pairing than angsty =3
Lynzee: Izuru with his bangs always hanging in his eyes. Very adorable.
Lady_pippy: nom nom nom~
Nusku: Don't worry, I got it all down =D
Yakumo: I've never read a KiraxIchigo before, but I wish I could find one.
akumo: I'm thinking about that, I have to research more before I decide what to do with it though.
countrygirl10: I totally understand, not all pairings with Ichigo are going to be as "BAM!" as others. And I didn't take it as a flame at all, no worries =)
MasterAkira: Now my head hurts thinking about it... Maybe he can do both?

Pairing: Grimmjow x Ichigo

Because there were so many requests (*cough* demands *cough*) for it so I decided to write a sequel for “Equivalent Exchange.”

Summary: Ichigo develops Stockholm syndrome and thinks he loves Grimmjow, but whenever Grimmjow is sane, he gets pissed off because he knows Ichigo doesn’t really love him. Set about a month after the end of “Equivalent Exchange.”

Cognitive Dissonance (the title) is “the feeling of uncomfortable tension which comes from holding two conflicting thoughts in the mind at the same time.”

Contains: Sex (consensual and non-consensual), violence, cursing.

Beta’d by KitsuneKiri: many thanks!

Cognitive Dissonance

Ichigo woke up in Grimmjow’s arms. For a moment he simply enjoyed the warm heat the espada radiated, and then his mind caught up with him. He shouldn’t want Grimmjow, shouldn’t love him, but he did.

Grimmjow nuzzled Ichigo’s hair and held him closer. Ichigo smiled and then winced as his back throbbed. Grimmjow hadn’t held back last night and Ichigo had ended up sobbing and begging him to stop, but he hadn’t. He held him down and fucked him until Ichigo was unconscious.

Ichigo frowned at the thought. He knew that Grimmjow loved him and he loved Grimmjow, but it was times like that which made Ichigo wonder.

“Mm, love you Ichigo.” Grimmjow mumbled and stroked Ichigo’s sides.

“Love you too.” Ichigo said and Grimmjow shifted to press harder against his back. Ichigo could feel his strong chest spooning against his back, rubbing against the gashes that his claws left last night. Grimmjow liked to mark him, especially when some of the other arrancars came sniffing around.

“I’m gonna fuck you now.” Grimmjow growled and rolled Ichigo on his back. Ichigo flinched at the pain that awakened all over his body but knew better than to say anything.

Grimmjow’s blue hair was ruffled from last night as his eyes glowed with lust. He shifted his hands to Ichigo’s thighs and pushed them apart. Ichigo winced at the stretch that also affected his tight entrance. But he could handle it, he always did.

“It looks like I was a bit rough last night.” Grimmjow said and frowned slightly. “I love you so much Ichigo, you shouldn’t make me angry.”

“I’m sorry Grimmjow.” Ichigo said and Grimmjow grinned before kissing him. Ichigo melted into the passion and tried to relax when Grimmjow thrust two fingers into him roughly.

“Ow…” Ichigo whimpered and turned his head to the side, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. Grimmjow kissed his way down Ichigo’s torso and rubbed Ichigo’s cock with his cheek. Ichigo groaned and spread his legs apart as Grimmjow licked his entrance which was still bloody and raw from the night before.

“You’re such a tight little bitch.” Grimmjow said and pulled away to admire the view. Grimmjow pulled away and stroked his hard cock, smearing his precum over his length. He rubbed the tip of his erection against the tight hole and penetrated him in a single shove.

“Agh!” Ichigo arched back and clenched his jaw at the pain.

“You’re still slick from last night.” Grimmjow commented and began to thrust in and out of him roughly. Ichigo felt hot and achy from the pain but his love for Grimmjow filled him with such emotion. He lifted his arms which felt like lead up and wrapped them around Grimmjow before he passionately kissed him.

Grimmjow liked that and kissed him back with biting teeth and a slick tongue that seemed intent on exploring every inch of his mouth. Grimmjow squeezed Ichigo’s erection tightly as he pumped, making Ichigo keen and squirm underneath him.

He pounded into Ichigo without remorse and Ichigo was beginning to find it difficult to find pleasure with all of the pain. Even his erect dick was hurting more, but luckily Grimmjow’s thrusts were becoming more erratic which signaled his climax was nearing. Ichigo sighed as Grimmjow grunted and filled him with his come before Ichigo came as well in a trained response.

He could tell Grimmjow was pleased with him because he was snuffling his hair and was carefully finding all the wounds that needed to be tended to. This was the Grimmjow that Ichigo loved. When he was sane and cared for Ichigo it was like he was a whole other person. Ichigo figured it was the shinigami side of him versus the hollow side, but he never said it out loud.

“We’re taking a bath.” Grimmjow announced and lifted Ichigo up and threw him over his shoulder.

“Oi, Grimmjow, put me down!” Ichigo snapped and hit at his shoulder. It earned him a very hard swat on his bare ass that stung.

“Don’t complain, I’m going to pamper you.” Grimmjow said as though he expected Ichigo to be grateful. Which he was, Kind of, Grimmjow’s idea of pampering always ended up leading to sex so Ichigo didn’t really look forward to it.

Grimmjow actually ran a bubble bath for him, which surprised Ichigo a little at first. Until he figured out that the reason why was because he was guilty for what he did to Ichigo the night before. As the bath filled, Grimmjow painstakingly cleaned his wounds, both inside and out, and then eased into the large sunken tub with him.

The heat on his wounds made him flinch at first and then he relaxed. Grimmjow held him firmly in his lap while he stroked his hair, which made Ichigo actually doze off for a second before he was startled back into it by the sound of Grimmjow’s voice.

“You love me, right Ichigo?” He asked. Ichigo never thought that Grimmjow would be the insecure type in a relationship, but he found that he needed to be constantly reminded of how he felt or he thought Ichigo didn’t care about him. Which led to horrible results that usually involved Ichigo being hurt in some way, shape or form.

“Of course I love you.” Ichigo said and shifted in Grimmjow’s arms so he was straddling him. He rested his head on Grimmjow’s shoulder and smiled as Grimmjow stroked his back. However the touch turned harsh and Ichigo’s eyes flew open when Grimmjow dug his nails into his hips.

“Grimmjow?” He questioned in worry and Grimmjow snarled in his ear.

“You don’t really love me.” He took a hold of Ichigo’s shoulders and yanked him away to look into his face. His eyes held that feverish look to them that Ichigo knew meant trouble for him.

“I do love you Grimmjow.” Ichigo tried to say it firmly but his voice trembled.

“Liar!” Grimmjow darted his head forward and sunk his teeth deep into Ichigo’s neck, making him scream in pain. Grimmjow purred in delight as the hot blood filled his mouth and he marked his mate. He pulled away and licked his lips as he took in Ichigo’s face twisted in pain and the blood trickling down his torso to taint the bath water red.

“If you really love me Ichigo, don’t fight me on this.” Grimmjow said and wordlessly called his sword to him from his bedroom. It was a part of his soul, not an inanimate object so it wasn’t any trouble at all.

“Grind, Pantera.” Grimmjow growled and Ichigo knew something bad was going to happen, but he didn’t know what. Other than when they fought, Grimmjow didn’t use his released form on Ichigo. He said it used too much energy that he wanted to spend fucking him instead.

Ichigo had to admit that Grimmjow was really fucking hot in his released form. With his long blue hair and tail he was even sexier than normal. Even though Ichigo was still wary he let Grimmjow lift him up onto the edge of the tub and pressed his legs apart.

“Tell me.” Grimmjow hissed darkly as his black claws skimmed along his inner thighs.

“I love you.” Ichigo said in a wavering voice, but it seemed to satisfy Grimmjow who removed his hands from the delicate area and did something to the armor that was covering him. It disappeared into his skin but his other released-form modifications stayed and Ichigo got a nice view of Grimmjow’s cock.

It was as thick and long as normal, but it was covered in barbs that pointed backward. They didn’t look hard, they just looked like normal pieces of skin, but when Grimmjow brushed his cock against his thigh he couldn’t feel the stiffness in them like cartilage.

Ichigo’s eyes widened and he began to panic immediately.

“W-wait Grimmjow!” Ichigo said as Grimmjow as he lined himself up to Ichigo’s entrance.

“Don’t you love me Ichigo?” Grimmjow asked and narrowed his blue eyes. He waited until Ichigo gave a short nod and then smirked before thrusting inside him. It wasn’t so bad going in, it was a familiar sensation that Ichigo found pleasurable, but when Grimmjow pulled out the barbs scratched his insides.

Ichigo screamed and clawed at Grimmjow’s chest while he tried to pull away from what was causing him pain. However that just dragged the spikes out of him more and he couldn’t find any relief.

“Grimmjow stop!!!” Ichigo pleaded and let out a sob when Grimmjow began to thrust in and out of him with no regard to his pain.

“…please.” He whimpered and twisted his hips when the things scraped his prostate and sent wild pleasure through him. It didn’t take the edge off though, and didn’t even really feel good.

“Grimmjow if you love me you’ll stop!”

To Grimmjow’s credit, he actually stopped his thrusts and frowned down at Ichigo who was shivering and obviously not enjoying his actions.

“You won’t blackmail me with my love.” Grimmjow growled and resumed fucking Ichigo. He only stopped when Ichigo actually passed out and he had come three times. He felt a strange ache in the hole in his stomach when he slipped out of Ichigo and saw the traces of blood.

“Do you really love me Ichigo?” Grimmjow wondered out loud and cleaned Ichigo up before carrying him to their rooms where he tucked Ichigo into their bed. He was tempted to go find that irritating chit that swooned around Ichigo in order to heal him, but that would be admitting he made a mistake.

Grimmjow hated the guilt that he felt now and frowned heavily at Ichigo who was now sleeping peacefully in their bed. With a growl he ripped off the blanket he had just tucked around Ichigo and began to ravish the now awake and very surprised Ichigo once more. Grimmjow intended to make Ichigo pay for making him feel these things.

LINE

I like writing this idea a lot because I think it explores the conflict in the human mind a lot more than a purely fluffy or angst-ridden GrimmIchi story. (Not that I don’t love those too death >:3)

Also I would like to take a vote (which I’ll also put up as a poll):
1- Should I make a third part that will be happy ending for the two?
2- Should I make a third part where Ichigo stays with Grimmjow, but it’s still a one-sided love?
3- Should Grimmjow let Ichigo go?