Forget About Me

Renji had a habit of always being late for those little “outings” he and Rukia had together. He didn’t know whether or not to feel happy or guilty for the fact that he had unconsciously used the biggest trick in the books, on “How to win a girl”. He had in one-way or another gotten sucked into the role of being that loser who the girl cried on, her anchor in more ways than once; the most important person to her in whole world (or at that moment).

He always felt uneasy about that fact. The fact that one day-maybe sooner then he hoped would be the day that Ichigo (the sorry bastard he was) would come back and without even trying, win Rukia’s heart back and have her in his arm once more. He always tried harder to win her and did all he could do to make her fall for him.

He did small things, but from what he had heard, that was what most young girls liked. Not saying Rukia was just some girl. No she was more than that. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it but she had this sort of spark that shook jolts of fantastic feelings in his heart to make him feel like a fool. Her smiles, as if she had saved them only for him would gaze up at him so lovingly and with so much confidence in him, he really hoped it wasn’t just there, in his head.

Once in a while he brought her her favorite red tulips that she always loved when he brought over. He’d bring her homemade lunches and brought her to his most favorite restaurants and resting places. He showed her what it would feel like to be with him. Have someone to love her with their whole life, for Rukia was his life. She was the reason he never quit that horrible job. To even buy her cute little stuff animals and help her with her rent. She was everything he had ever wanted. You could say he followed her like a lovesick puppy but what could he do? He loved her! Wasn’t that what love was like. To be vulnerable once and a while? He hoped so or it would all be in vain.

He hoped he didn’t conjure up a dream where he had proposed to her and she had accepted happily, jumping into his arms and saying how much she had waited for this moment. He smiled at that thought, after all, he could at least hope. Stuffing the miniature red box into his pockets, he walked into the café to hopefully the center of his happiness.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rukia sighed in heavenly bliss as she snuggled into the couch with Ichigo by her side. His arm at her waist played little circles that made her jump with excitement and giddiness. Her laying on his chest and the world felt calm and harmonious. So perfect she wanted to jump up and down and scream at the top of her lungs at her good luck. Nuzzling his shoulder, she didn’t think about how stupid she looked or how she must have looked like a cat looking for it’s owner to pet her but only thought about him.
Ichigo laughed as she nuzzled to him more and felt her soft petite body curl into his warmth. It had reminded him of that day at the park. He groaned at that thought. He didn’t want to seem sensitive or emotional, but that day-no just that time with Rukia was just- well it was….beautiful. Blushing at that thought he didn’t seem to notice the warmth of a body until he found himself staring straight back at a pair of curious gray eyes.

His hand automatically caressed her cheek and he wondered if his body ever did things on it’s own. It was if it always knew she was near. She nuzzled into his hand and scooted closer to him, as if asking for more.

“Rukia”

“Hmmm..”, Rukia responded dazedly. For all she knew, the world was going to end and she wouldn’t give a danm. Staring up at him, she wondered how she could have not wanted this boy. This boy, that kissed her with those lips.

Leaning in closer while her hands slowly crept over to his neck, she thought of how much this moment meant to her. How much her time with Ichigo could last forever, but before she could lean down and kiss his lips once more, Ichigo had turned his head and was staring up surprised at an angry face.

“Rukia!”

Rukia stared up surprise and without even comprehending what she had done she had scrambled off of Ichigo’s lap and mumbled out in consistent blabbering “howitwasn’twhatitlookedlike” statement. She didn’t even remember! How could she have forgotten about Renji? Sweet, caring Renji. The same Renji who saved her from her state of low confidence.

She was so caught.

She looked up at him and she knew she felt terrible. Worse than guilty in fact. Felt guilty that she had been with Ichigo and had totally forgotten him. She was such a bitch. She felt like the gum underneath people’s shoes. His eyes. God they were like open windows to his feelings. She swore it was as if he was yelling at her. He didn’t need to though. His eyes told her every little thing and she felt herself squirm underneath his glare. Renji never glared at her, but she didn’t think it would hurt so much now.

“Hoy scar face, what’s up?” Rukia turned to see Ichigo still splayed over the couch with a smirk on his face.

She could almost hear Renji’s teeth crunch in his mouth. His lips in a tight grin and his eyebrows in a horizontal line that she knew he would blow at any second.

But she was once again surprised to see that he had (for once) ignored Ichigo and turned straight to her.

“How could you do this Rukia?” He was in her face now and she didn’t know what to do. She wanted to say sorry. Do something that would make Renji understand and not be mad at her.

He didn’t stop there though. “How could you go back to him?” He stopped and angrily pointed a finger at him as if he was a child pointing out the troublemaker in the class. “Do you remember what he did to you?” he asked her. His voice had gotten softer and she felt herself doubting him now. His hand came to caress her cheek. Her mind fought with her heart. “Do you remember?” he said again. She didn’t know what to do. Why would she want to remember? But she couldn’t stop the rush of horrid emotions slamming into her mind. She remembered now.

She remembered the tears. God there were so many tears. So many tears that she couldn’t see. She was blind, all the time. And it rained a lot. Heavy rain clouds that hovered above her head. She remembered the lonely night she stayed up thinking of him. The nights that she dreamt of him every single day. The days she didn’t bother to eat or sleep much till she couldn’t even get out of bed. The sicken obsessive feeling she felt for him, and then when love had had enough fun playing with her physical health, it continued to play with her mental one as well.

She had started to think lowly of herself. Feeling as if she wasn’t beautiful enough or strong enough. Tall enough, pretty enough, anything enough to make Ichigo want to stay with her. Her mind had told her that he had left because she wasn’t worth the stay for. But that not what had really gotten to her. She had truly started to believe that Ichigo had used her. Taken what he had wanted and left what was left over.

By this time, she had begun to cry rivers of water. She shook her head to stop those thoughts but all she could come up was a face she didn’t want to see. The face of a cruel Ichigo laughing at her, taunting her and killing her all over.

“Rukia!” It had said again, and she didn’t know what to do. He stood up and began to walk towards her getting in her space and leaving her confused once again. She stepped back, afraid that if he took one more step she would not think clearly.

She couldn’t see his face anymore, replaced by a face that only her mind had made up.

Ichigo flinched back. What did he do? What had he become to her to make such a horrid emotion come on her face. She seemed fine until scar face had come and yelled at her. She had seemed so guilty. As if she had just got caught cheating. And then she had started crying. Waving her head back and forth saying no, no-no more. Her face had turned a light pink and her hands began furiously wiping the tears away but to no prevail.

He had to do something. If she continued she’d be sick. “Rukia stop crying your going to make yourself sick” he tried saying her but she had back away with unconscious steps. “Rukia…” he tried reaching to her again. Anything to get her to smile again. He could feel his own strong wall of emotion fall. Renji had steeped in front of her. Acting as her sentinel and protector. Anger throwing daggers into him, but he didn’t notice. All he could see was Rukia and her split face hiccupping and sobbing into her hands.

“Don’t even move one foot,” he said. “You’ve done enough, just go to whatever place you came from again and leave her alone” He said to Ichigo with an air of serious. “You’ve done it before, and I’m sure as hell that you can do it again”, he added with a sad smile plastered on his face. Rukia had tensed at this, then looked at him with a look of such disgust and remorse. The hurt in her eyes ripping him apart.

“Why did you leave?” she had asked. Her eyes stared at him as did not even believe herself.

Renji gave a disgruntled face at her question. But Ichigo didn’t even bother hiding his shock.

He didn’t know how long he stood there as he watched her practically get carried out of the coffee shop with Renji hounding her down. The last thing he saw were those sad gray eyes.

He didn’t say anything for a moment, as if he in return was questioning himself.

“Shit” he said. He fucked up for sure. Winning Rukia back would be harder than he thought.