The Pet Series

Title: First Times
Author: Shadow Arashi
Fandom: Bleach
Pairing: implied Aizen x Grimmjow
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 882
Summary: In which Aizen asks Grimmjow to release his zanpakuto for the first time. Insanity followed.
Warnings: Pure crack, minor swearing, and arrancars making fun of Grimmjow’s pantera form.
Disclaimer: Bleach and all its characters belong to Tite Kubo, this fic is written for entertainment only and I don't make any profit of it.



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"Grimmjow, you have yet to release your zanpakuto, am I correct?"

Aizen, Lord and God of Las Noches, asked quite innocently, abruptly cutting off Tousen's latest attempt to make the other man agree to his project of repainting all of Las Noches in neon orange (which was probably the point, because who would want to live in a place painted in neon orange?).

The blue haired arrancar blinked, taken aback by the unexpected question, and nearly bolted out of his chair when he suddenly found himself the focus of twelve (make that eleven) pairs of eyes.

"What?!" He snapped, glaring at the others Espada who were looking at him curiously.

Nnoitra cackled, apparently finding great amusement in the smaller arrancar's reaction.

"He does have a point you know. We never saw your released form. It's rather surprising coming from someone with such a huge ego, don't you think? So what's wrong Sexta, too ashamed to show it off?"

"You wish." Grimmjow sneered, and barely bit down the urge to roll his eyes at the predictable jab.

Never let it be said that Nnoitra was a subtle individual. Unfortunately for the Sexta however, the rest of the Espada seemed to have become strangely interested in the problem now that it had been brought to their attention.

"I bet it's something small and aggressive, like a ferret."

Yammy said out of the blue (probably thinking out loud, the dumb bastard). An innocent sentence from the man's point of view that caused quite an uproar among Aizen's strongest warriors.

Nnoitra and Gin promptly bent over the table, nearly in tears with laugher as they beat their fists on the white marble. Szayel politely hide his laugh under a cough. Zommari seemed to think it was a good animal and started ranting on the advantages and qualities of ferrets, which caused Arronierro to nearly crack his err… their aquarium open when they banged their head against the table (poor table, what did it ever do to deserve this treatment will forever be a mystery). Tousen merely snorted and Yammi looked around with a dumb look on his face that only he could produce with such startling accuracy. Only Stark (who was still sleeping), Ulquiorra and Halibel seemed unaffected, though Ulquiorra's mouth was twitching.

Grimmjow just stood there, dumbfounded by the general level of stupidity of his comrades (and they called him stupid!?). He was so dumbfounded that he actually forgot to get angry and offended, which is saying something.

"Now my Espada, that is not very nice."

Aizen tried to reinstall some semblance of order, though his own smile was wider than usual.

"Then what's his released form?" Nnoitra uttered between pants, and Grimmjow wondered how his face hadn't split in two already with the span of his grin.

"Oh I wanna know I wanna know!" Gin clapped his hands enthusiastically, practically dancing on the sole of his feet with excitement.

"You really want to see it?"

Grimmjow finally said, and something in his voice abruptly cut off the jeers and laughers that had previously filled the room.

The rest of the Espada suddenly found themselves watching the Sexta with wary eyes, not liking the wide smirk that was spreading fast on his face.

"Actually, that would be wonderful Grimmjow."

Aizen declared cheerfully.

Grimmjow's eyes flashed with glee at the implicit command, before he unsheathed his sword and howled.

"Grind, Pantera!"

And the room imploded into bright blue light.

The storm of dust and energy his transformation had created dissipated, finally revealing the Sexta in all his feline glory to his master's and colleagues' eyes.

Only awe silence greeted the impressive sight, and then...

"HOW CUTE!"

Gin squealed, promptly throwing himself at the Sexta. He immediately started to scratch the adorable furry ears, only to have the Sexta hiss and claw at him wildly as he desperately tried to escape, his face red to the root of his hair.

"What the fuck?!"

He spat, stunned and mortified at the reaction of his superior. He could only gasp in pain when Gin hugged him again even more tightly than before ('help! 'am losing air fast over here!'), the man still squealing and babbling about kitties.

Finally realising he wasn't about to get out of this one on his own, Grimmjow looked up at his Lord for help.

"Aizen-sama!"

"Beautiful..." was all the man whispered, a small trail of blood running down his nose.

Grimmjow stared. The rest of the Espada stared back, eyes wide and hands twitching.

Grimmjow's ears laid back instinctively against his skull.

The rest of the Espada pounced.

"I get to pet him first!"

"No, me first!"

"I call dibs on him!"

"Come here, kitty kitty!"

"Kitty kitty!"

With a panicked roar and a sonic shockwave Grimmjow took off at full speed as he blasted a hole into the wall, pride be damned.

It took him two hours and four close calls before he could lose his pursuers, two hours that involved several broken bones (damn fucker Nnoitra actually yanked on his tail!) and several destroyed buildings (it's not like Szayel would miss his bedroom, he practically lived in his lab anyway).

But at least he had learnt a valuable lesson.

Never again would he release his zanpakuto in front of those freaks.

Never.