Silent Tears

I do not own Bleach.

Warning: LEMON. Not sure if I mentioned everything at the beginning so here it is. There will be anal sex, oral sex, fingering of the anus in preparation for anal sex, heavy kissing, and lots of touching. Please inform me if I have missed anything. Also this is YAOI (boy's love) and this sex scene is between Renji and Hitsugaya. Toshiro Hitsugaya is 20 in human years in this fic. Thank you.

Random fan: Hmmm...Why did Renji lie to Hitsugaya? Isn't he trying to give him a chance?
Me: Well yes...but Renji doesn't want to cause a fight between the two.
Random fan: Anyway..you said Time Skip?
Me: yes...two months to be exact
Random fan: Does that mean you are going to end the story sooner than planned.
Me: no
Random fan: Yes there is going to a be a lemon!
Me: Yes there is. Also Urahara is back. YAY! Enjoy. :)

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Time: 6 PM

When: Two months after Renji and Hitsugaya started dating

Place: Renji's apartment

Renji had spent almost the entire day trying to figure out what to wear. It was Sunday and it was the day of his two month anniversary with Hitsugaya. Honestly, he couldn't believe Hitsugaya was still content with staying with him. After that kiss he had with Byakuya two months ago, it seemed like the Commander was going to hold to what he said about doing anything he possibly could to get him back. Then as if it was nothing than a bad dream, a week later nothing happened. Renji felt himself able to keep his head clear of the conflicting thoughts it had experienced. Still it had definitely been a test of the relationship that him and Hitsugaya had started.

-Flashback-

Renji had been so confused about the kiss he had received from Byakuya that he cancelled his date with Hitsugaya. Concerned Hitsugaya rushed over to Renji's place the moment he had signed his last paper. He found the red-head in his room with puffy eyes red from crying. He didn't look up at Toshiro even though he knew very well that the other shinigami was there. He just sat on the bed rocking back and forth. He didn't want them to fight. Not over him. Not for someone who obviously didn't deserve a single drop of happiness. He was meant to be lonely. Kissing the captain commander while dating the commander's lieutenant was just not acceptable. Of course, he hadn't come on to Byakuya. He had merely invited him in for tea to thank him for the gifts that he had given him. Even with that being the case, he felt he had no right to be in Toshiro's presence.

Toshiro had frowned and walked over to Renji. He pulled his hands from his face as he looked at Renji's tear stained face and just wrapped his arms around him. "What happened Renji? Why cancel our date? More importantly why are you crying?", he asked him softly with a patient tone to his voice.

"...came over...tea...thanks...gifts...kiss...", Renji said still sobbing.

Keeping his reiatsu under control as to not upset Renji more, he worked on sorting out what Renji said in his mind. "So what you are trying to tell me is that Byakuya came over here. You invited him in for tea as a thank you for the gifts he brought you and then he kissed you?", Hitsugaya asked him, the last part was said almost wishfully.

Renji didn't trust himself to speak, so he just nodded. Toshiro inwardly sighed with relief that the kiss had not been planned or wanted by Renji. At least that is the conclusion he came to based on Renji's current state.

"please...leave...don't...deserve...you...or...hap...happiness...", Renji said. The tears falling from his eyes were wetting Hitsugaya's uniform.

"Shhh...its ok Renji. Its ok. I am not going to leave you. You deserve to be happy Renji and I am going to make you happy.", he said to him concern still evident in his voice. "Please calm down. I really don't like seeing you like this."

"Why? Why are you trying so hard? I am not worth it. Damn it Hitsugaya! I am not fucking worth it.", Renji yelled at him pulling away from him and laying back covering his face.

Toshiro sighed taking several deep breaths. "As you know I have watched you for some time Renji, and I am either falling for you or I have already fallen. That is why no matter what I am just going to stay by your side and make sure you smile everyday. To make sure you know that love is unconditional and that the feelings I have for you are more than I can express in words."

Renji had glanced at him. "How could you still feel that way after Byakuya...you know...did that?"

"Renji, I trust you. I know that somewhere deep inside you want to be happy." he said caringly. "If you want I will kiss you until you no longer remember the feel of his lips on yours. I will kiss you until you can only remember mine and the feelings I offer with it. Do I have your permission to do that Renji?"

"Yes", came the whispered reply.

-End of Flashback-

Renji smiled at the memory. Toshiro had spent the entire night with Renji kissing him whenever Renji started to remember what Byakuya had done. Though Renji had to admit towards the time they were going to go to sleep he had pretended to get upset just to have another sweet kiss from Toshiro. He didn't think he fooled him at all, but Toshiro didn't say anything and just gave him another kiss. Now, two months later, he hadn't heard anything from Byakuya except from the gifts he received every now and then. No note accompanied these gifts as Rukia told him that Byakuya just wished for her to deliver them. Renji never wore them except the one he was going to wear tonight. It was another silk headband and this one was decorated with an icy blue dragon and snowflakes. It reminded him beautifully of Hitsugaya's zanpakuto, so it would be perfect to wear for this date.

He finished getting ready and then started pacing around waiting for Toshiro to come get him. He thought about the changes in himself during these past couple of months. While he was still rather stern, he was a bit warmer to his squad members. He actually paid attention in captain's meetings. He smiled a bit more often even though the smiles did not quite reach his eyes, and he had an overall feeling of content. It would take more time to fully fix all the damage that Byakuya had done to his mind though as Renji still believed he was not worth Toshiro's time. At least what had been accomplished within two months was something to be proud of and given more time Renji thought maybe he would be close to his old self again.

A knock sounded at the door and Renji went to answer it. Standing there with a smile on his face, was his boyfriend. He waited a moment, while Toshiro looked him over his turquoise eyes resting on the headband Renji wore.

"You look amazing Renji.", Toshiro said to him. "While I usually don't want to see you wearing anything that Byakuya gave you, I really like that headband."

"Thank you. The headband reminded me of you and so I wanted to wear it on our date tonight.", Renji said before leaning down to kiss Toshiro gently.

"Shall we go?", Toshiro asked.

"Yes. Let's go.", Renji said.
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Time: 7 PM

Place: A beautiful restaurant in Seireitei

The moment they had arrived at the restaurant, they saw that many of the other shinigami within the Gotei 13 had chosen to eat here as well. It didn't bother them as this was a rather nice place and from the looks of it most were on dates just like them. A waitress came up to them and lead them to their seats not less than a few minutes later. It was perfect. The slightly dim lighting, the small beautifully decorated vase with light scented flowers in it, and the soft music playing in the background. Toshiro looked at Renji with a smile. He was lucky to have him, lucky to have been given a chance, and now he was sitting across from one of the most amazingly hot captains in all of Soul Society.

Renji looked at Hitsugaya and their eyes met. Anyone who passed by or looked at them could feel the attraction between the two. They ordered their food getting into a conversation about different things they had experienced on trips to the real world. A rather familiar feeling reiatsu caused Renji to freeze and Hitsugaya to narrow his eyes and glare at his food. They both schooled their features to that of an emotionless mask as they turned to see Byakuya enter the restaurant followed by Ukitake and Urahara. The three men took a seat quite a ways away from them and so Renji and Toshiro went back to their date. The men hadn't noticed them or if they did ignored them, so they did not need to worry about them while they were celebrating their two month anniversary, and so they started up another conversation.

--

Byakuya, Ukitake, and Urahara were here celebrating Urahara being reinstated as the 12th division captain. Byakuya had felt the reiatsu of his former and current lieutenant and did not look in the direction it was coming from. Instead him and the other two captains sat a good distance away from where they were. After ordering, Byakuya sat there sipping tea while Urahara explained this new procedure that he had been working on in the real world that could possibly cure Ukitake's illness. The long white haired shinigami listened in interest, while the dear captain commander's thoughts were elsewhere.

Byakuya was thinking back to the kiss he had given Renji two months ago. In truth, he hadn't figured his reaction to such a simple kiss would be that strong. He knew Renji would be shocked as that much was to be expected, but he didn't think that he would feel the most pleasurable chill go down his spine because of it. He couldn't even stop thinking about the kiss when he went home after that. He wanted more of Renji than ever before. He could only imagine how good it would have been had Renji been kissing back. After that, he kept buying Renji gifts, but did not talk with him other than captain's meetings and did not go see him again. It wasn't that he didn't want to, it was just that it was part of his plan to get Renji back by planting the ideas in his mind at first.

The food arrived at the table and they all started to eat. Byakuya glanced over at Renji and Toshiro who were now feeding each other their desserts. His face was expressionless, but there was still that aching feeling in his heart. It should be him with Renji feeding each other. He didn't like sweets much at all, but there were some things he was sure he could tolerate for Renji's sake. He looked back down at his food only taking a bite of it chewing very slowly still in his own thoughts. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Ukitake looking at him. Urahara had gotten up momentarily to go speak to an old friend he also saw at the restaurant.

"You seem a little off commander. Could it be that there is something else you want at this place besides the food?", he asked him.

"What gives you that idea, captain?", Byakuya asked him.

"I am older than you commander. Even though your face has that expressionless mask on I can still tell something is wrong.", Ukitake said. "So am I correct in assuming there is something else here that you want?"

"Yes. There is something else here that I want more than anything.", Byakuya said before eating a bit more of his food.

Ukitake removed his hand from Byakuya's shoulder. "I know exactly how you feel commander.", he said still looking at Byakuya before turning back to his food.

Byakuya glanced at him momentarily before going back to his food and thinking to himself. Yes, I want Renji. Time to work on the second part of my plan to have him back.

--

Renji and Toshiro were finishing up their dessert having already paid for the meal before the dessert had arrived. Renji had just eaten a bite of his dessert that Toshiro had fed him only to have a bit of sugar at the corner of his mouth. Toshiro saw this and then moved his chair closer to Renji.

"You have something on the side of your mouth.", he said and before Renji could do anything Toshiro used his mouth to removed the sugar from Renji's face.

Renji blushed trying to think of something other than the slight sensuality of what Toshiro just did and attempted to change the subject. "Are you going to stay at my place tonight?", he asked the blush still on his face.

"Only if you want me to.", Toshiro said standing up as they finished had finished their desserts.

"You know I like when you stay with me.", Renji said to him as the two exited the restaurant.
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Time: 10 PM

Place: Renji's apartment

Toshiro and Renji had made it back to Renji's apartment not long after leaving the restaurant. It had been a rather beautiful date and they had encountered no problems with Byakuya. It was almost as if the commander had given up on Renji, though Toshiro didn't believe it. He felt as though the Kuchiki heir was just biding his time. He wasn't too worried about it though as he had no intention of giving up Renji. He laid back on Renji's bed waiting for him to get out of the shower thinking about what he was planning. It would be perfect and he would make sure of it.

Renji came out of the shower to see Toshiro laying on his bed. He was wearing a pair of light sleeping pants and a white Tshirt he had gotten from the real world. Toshiro smiled at him taking in the look of Renji with still wet hair. The man practically screamed sexiness, and yet Renji himself did not believe it. Toshiro watched as Renji made his way over to the bed and laid down next to him. For a moment they just laid there before Toshiro got up and took his shower. Renji laid there thinking of their date glad that Byakuya hadn't interrupted it. After all he continued to send Renji gifts, but materialistic things could not heal the deep wounds that he caused.

Ten minutes had passed and Toshiro came out of the bathroom wearing something similiar to what he was wearing except it was a different color. Their eyes met again as Toshiro slowly made his way to the bed and Renji sat up never breaking the eye contact. Toshiro sat on the bed before moving over towards Renji kissing him. His arms wrapping around Renji's neck and fingers sliding through Renji's red hair. He heard a small noise of approval from Renji as the red head opened his mouth partially to give Hitsugaya access. Toshiro's tongue pushed inside Renji's mouth rubbing his tongue against the other male's exploring every inch of it.

They had kissed like this before and just like always it felt amazing. Toshiro wondered if maybe he should try to go a little further. He wanted to give Renji as much time as he needed before making the decision of becoming completely intimate with him. They had only shared heated kisses these past two months, but there was something about this moment that made him want Renji even more than ever. His hands slid up the shirt Renji was wearing running his hands all over the smooth hard muscles of his boyfriend's torso. To his surprise, Renji didn't try to stop him. Deciding to move forward, he removed Renji's shirt breaking the kiss to admire his body.

His skin was flawless and beautifully decorated by his tattoos. His hands continued their exploration making sure to touch every bit of Renji's skin. Toshiro felt himself blush a little as he moved to kiss Renji's chest. He kissed him everywhere before going back over it with his tongue. He glanced up at Renji, who had his eyes closed and his breathing was heavier than it had been previously. He also noticed that Renji was becoming rather aroused by what he was doing. Toshiro slowly pushed Renji back down on the bed kissing him lower and sliding between Renji's slightly parted legs as much as he could. Using his body, he pushed Renji's legs further apart so he was resting comfortably between them as he placed another kiss right above the hem of Renji's pants. He sat up on his knees slowly pulling down Renji's pants when he felt Renji's reiatsu. It held both excitement and fear within it and then the fear started overpowering it, so Toshiro stopped leaving Renji with pants and underwear around his knees and his erection hitting the cool air.

"Renji...why are you afraid?", Toshiro asked in a calm more patient voice than any other man could manage in this situation. He was also rather aroused and having to stop was more straining on his mind than he thought it would be. Still, he did not want to do anything that Renji didn't want him to do.

Renji looked away trying to figure out the right words to say. "I am not sure about this. How will I know you wont leave once this is over?", he asked turning back to face Hitsugaya and the former captain could see the fear in Renji's eyes.

"I wont leave you Renji. I want to be with you. So...", Toshiro said taking a deep breath. "to prove that I will not leave once this is over. I will be uke."

Renji's eyes widened. "Why would you want to do that for me?", he asked surprised.

Toshiro smiled. "Because Renji, I will not take you until you are ready. I love you, only you. I will do anything for you. I am giving you all of me Renji without hesitation. My heart, my soul, everything and you will be the first to have me, to be inside of me. I wanted to give that to someone special. I want to give you that.", he said placing a light kiss on Renji's lips.

Renji thought he was going to cry at such beautifully spoken words and he knew that Hitsugaya was being sincere. He nodded. It was obviously not Toshiro's first time, but it was the first time he would allow someone to take him. Renji sat up again using his legs to remove his pants completely. He had a small grin on his face as he looked at Toshiro. "Well then I better make sure to make ya feel really good then.", he said to Toshiro before slamming his lips against the smaller shinigami's.

Toshiro felt his heart swell up in his chest. That last sentence out of Renji's mouth had been a glimpse of the way Renji used to be. That made him feel that this choice was definitely for the best. He had gotten a glimpse of the real Renji and he was going to give himself to the man he loved. It couldn't be more perfect. A soft moan left his mouth as he felt Renji's lips kiss and nibble on his neck. Hands slid up his shirt removing it swiftly before those same lips explored his chest. Anywhere he was kissed or licked by Renji felt like fire on his skin.

Renji loved the noises that Toshiro was making. He both wanted and needed to hear more. His hands moved over Toshiro's skin until the reached the top of his pants. Lifting Toshiro up gently he removed the pants admiring Toshiro's erection. He definitely wasn't small there and Renji was overcome with the desire to taste his lover. He laid Toshiro back and settled between his willingly spread legs. His hands lightly touched Toshiro's erection causing it to twitch under his fingertips. Renji looked up at him meeting his gaze before his flicked his tongue out to lick the underside of Toshiro's erection right behind the head. Toshiro gasped and a low whimpering sound left his mouth. He wanted more and he wanted it now as he tried to move his hips up a little more towards Renji's mouth.

"What is it that you want, Toshiro?", Renji asked seductively before giving him another lick.

If he didn't have the will that he had, Toshiro would have come right then and there. The way Renji said his name made shivers run down his spine. He could only once again reflect on the fact that he was the luckiest shinigami in the world to have Renji. "I want...your...mouth...on...me...", Toshiro said panting slightly.

Renji smiled before taking as much as he could of Toshiro's erection into his mouth. He sucked hard between licking and nibbling. His partner's body was becoming a bit sweaty and the moans he was making sounded beautiful to Renji. His head moved up and down a little faster than before driving his dear lover wild. His own need building up as he felt Toshiro nearing climax. He moved slightly raising three of his fingers to Toshiro's lips. The white haired shinigami took them into his mouth sucking, licking, and nibbling nearly mimicking all that Renji was doing with his mouth on his erection. Renji moaned around him causing Toshiro's hips to involuntarily shoot upward. Renji didn't seem to mind though as he felt himself ready to climax just by Toshiro mouth around his fingers.

When Renji felt that he had lubricated them enough he moved their fingers to Toshiro's previously untouched entrance pushing one inside. He wasn't in pain with the first finger, but it was a bit uncomfortable. Renji stopped sucking on him to watch his lover's face while he did this. His other hand started once again exploring Toshiro's body as he moved up to kiss him. His tongue slid into the smaller shinigami's mouth as he added another finger. The body beneath him jerked upwards intially but then relaxed just long enough for the third finger to be added. A small cry of pain went into the kiss as Renji continued to prepare his lover. His fingers spread apart stretching him the best he could while his fingers searched for that special spot. The moment he did Toshiro moaned his mouth pulling away.

"Renji...please...", he moaned twisting under Renji's touch.

Renji removed his fingers and positioned himself over Hitsugaya. He looked into his eyes as he pushed inside him slowly. Hitsugaya winced, but kept looking at Renji. Finally, once he was fully inside of him, he stopped to let Toshiro adjust to the new feeling. It was hard to stay still with the delicious hot tight feel of being inside of his boyfriend. Toshiro shifted slightly, nodding to tell Renji that it was alright to move. Renji started pulling out only a little before pushing back in. He kept doing that increasing how much of himself he would pull out each time. Once only the head was left in, he slammed back into Toshiro hitting his prostate instantly.

Toshiro cried out grabbing on to Renji's arms. Renji pulled them up into a sitting position on the bed moving Toshiro's hips up and down his erection. They were both in ecstasy. Their reiatsu was blending together wonderfully, their feelings for one another being shown in the most intimate of ways, and they were completing each other as they both rose to their climaxes. Renji moved faster bending down to lick, kiss, and nibble on Toshiro's neck while his hand moved up and down on his erection. The combined sensations made Toshiro moan out 'Renji' as he came all over their stomachs and a little under Renji's chin. Renji came as well once he felt Toshiro's walls clamp around him.

They laid their panting as Renji slowly pulled out. "We should take a shower.", he said holding Toshiro tightly.

"Yes. We should.", Toshiro said and Renji got up and carried his lover into the shower. He started the water and then got in with his boyfriend as they washed up. He had to help Toshiro a bit, but he didn't mind. This was the best night he had experienced in a long time.

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Time: 11:50 AM

Place: 1st division

Toshiro went to work the next morning happier than he ever had been. He even smiled when he said hello to Byakuya that morning and sat down working on his paperwork. It had been perfect and soon things would be even more perfect. Byakuya looked at Toshiro wondering what was going on with him. He had never seen his lieutenant that happy. It was almost like he was floating on clouds. It continued to bug him until finally he decided to say something.

"Why lieutenant may I ask are you so happy today?", Byakuya asked as his curiosity getting the better of him.

"If you must know, I had a fantastic night with Renji yesterday.", he said to him. Not even Byakuya could ruin his mood today.

"You mean something happened after the two of you went to dinner?", Byakuya asked

Hitsugaya just kept working on his papers. "Yes. It was amazing.", he said smiling before during more of his work.

Byakuya didn't need him to say anymore. It was obvious that Renji and Hitsugaya had slept together. He felt a strong sense of anger and jealousy as he continued to work on his paperwork. The feelings he was having leaked out into his reiatsu. Toshiro couldn't help smirking when he felt the anger and jealousy radiating off of his captain.

"Is there something wrong Commander?", Toshiro asked. "You reiatsu feels rather strange."

Byakuya resisted the urge to glare at him. "I do not know what you mean. I am fine."

"Are you sure?", Toshiro asked him smirking again.

"Of course. Its only a minor setback in my plan to get Renji.", Byakuya said.

"Whatever. There is no way you can ruin my mood today.", Toshiro said and got back to work.

"Is that what you think?", Byakuya asked him looking at the time. It was almost the time when Renji came to get Toshiro to go to lunch. Just three more minutes and counting.

Before Hitsugaya could say something, Byakuya flash stepped to him kissing him. Toshiro gasped accidentally opening his mouth a little in which Byakuya took that opening and pushed his tongue into his mouth. Toshiro was fighting back as best as he could. He was too focused on fighting that he didn't sense Renji's reiatsu moving towards the office. Byakuya did however and fell back on the floor holding Toshiro in the kiss with the smaller shinigami on top of him. Toshiro's arms were on either side of his head trying to push himself up out of Byakuya's hold and move his mouth away from the kiss and the tongue invading it. Muffled sounds of protest were coming out though they sounded more like moans while his legs had fallen on either side of Byakuya in the struggle. That scene was exactly what Renji walked in on.

"W-What's going on here?", Renji asked eyes wide. He was visibly shaking as looked at Byakuya and then Hitsugaya, who had finally been released from the commander's hold.

"Renji...", Hitsugaya said gasping for air. Renji looked at his gasping panting boyfriend and both his and Byakuya's disheveled appearances.

"How...How could do this to me? Why? Why did you...Toshiro?", Renji said before running out the room feeling like he was being broken all over again.

Hitsugaya looked shocked and went to run after Renji, but not before he looked back at Byakuya who actually had a smirk on his face. "I swear I will get you back for this Byakuya.", he said coldly and with those words Toshiro went chasing after Renji.
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Please don't kill me. Well I hope you all enjoy. Thanks for reading. And yes Byakuya is evil...but it is still a ByaRen fic. Just not yet...